SAFE TO SAY IT HAS BEEN A VERY, VERY, VERY LONG FOUR

YEARS.

SO LONG, IN FACT, YOU MAY HAVE LOST TRACK OF

EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED DURING THE TRUMP

ADMINISTRATION.

LET ME BREAK IT DOWN FOR YOU REAL QUICK.

TRUMP'S INAUGURATION TRUMP'S INAUGURATION CROWDS WERE

SUPER SMALL, WOMEN MARCHED ON THE NATIONAL MALL, HE SIGNED A

HATEFUL MUSLIM BAN AND FAILED TO PASS HIS HEALTHCARE PLAN, THE

WALL THAT HE PROMISED NEVER GOT DONE, BUT AT LEAST HE FOUND TIME

TO STARE AT THE SUN, HE THREW PAPER TOWELS LIKE A Q.B., BUT

THREW A HUGE FIT WHEN KAEP TOOK A KNEE, “ALTERNATIVE FACTS” WERE

THE NEW WAY TO LIE, PUT HIS HAND ON AN ORB AND NO ONE KNOWS WHY,

MICHAEL FLYNN MADE A GUILTY PLEA, DONALD JUNIOR SAT ON A

TREE, IVANKA AND JARED PLAYED PRETEND, WHAT WAS OMAROSA'S JOB

AGAIN?

SEAN SPICER WAS FIRED, SCARAMUCCI WAS HIRED, REINCE

PRIEBUS RETIRED, SCARAMUCCI WAS FIRED, JAMES COMEY WAS CANNED,

BUT SAVED THE RECEIPTS, WE'RE STILL UNPACKING THE “COVFEFE”

TWEET, DONALD'S LOVE FOR PUTIN COULDN'T BE MORE SINCERE,

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THAT WAS JUST HIS FIRST YEAR!

TRUMP GOT A VISIT FROM KANYE WEST, MELANIA TOLD US ALL TO “BE

BEST,” HER HUSBAND CALLED HAITI A ( BLEEP ) COUNTRY, ONLY HER

JACKET COULD SAY IT MORE BLUNTLY, NEW TELL-ALL BOOKS WERE

RIDDLED WITH SCANDALS, LIKE THE TIME HE GOT SPANKED BY STORMY

DANIELS, MICHAEL COHEN GOT CAUGHT WITH MONEY TO HUSH, WHILE

TRUMP WENT TO SEE HIS NEW DICTATOR CRUSH, PAUL MANAFORT

WAS FOUND GUILTY OF FRAUD, FOR SOME REASON TEENS WERE EATING

TIDE PODS, JOHN KELLY AND SESSIONS LEFT THAT YEAR, BRETT

KAVANAUGH TOLD US HE LOVES BEER, DEMS TOOK THE HOUSE IN A MIDTERM

BLUE WAVE, A DEPRESSED TED CRUZ REFUSED TO SHAVE, HALFWAY

THROUGH HIS TERM, THE WHITE HOUSE WAS ALL DRAMA, AMERICA

SPOKE AND SAID, “WE MISS OBAMA”" THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN LASTED

35 DAYS, TRUMP'S APPROVAL NUMBERS WENT DOWN IN A BLAZE, A

SHARPIE WAS USED ON A HURRICANE MAP, PELOSI WHIPPED OUT HER

SARCASTIC CLAP, HE GOT IN A FEUD WITH WOMEN'S SOCCER, INSULTED

THE SQUAD, HE'S RACIST-- BIG SHOCKER.

SPENT FIVE MILLION BUCKS ON HIS FOURTH OF JULY, ONCE CALLED

JEFFREY EPSTEEN A "TERRIFIC GUY," THE MUELLER REPORT FOUND

NO ONE TO BLAME, TRUMP WAS IMPEACHED FOR A CALL WITH

UKRAINE, HE STILL INSISTS THERE WAS NO QUID PRO QUO, CONGRESS

WAS LIKE, “MMMM, WASN'T THERE THOUGH?”

COVERED TABLES WITH BIG MACS, TWEETED “FAKE NEWS” IN ALL CAPS,

ISSUED A TRANS MILITARY BAN, FOR CLIMATE CHANGE, THERE'S STILL

NO PLAN, OVER 200 DAYS SPENT ON THE GOLF COURSE, WITH NOTHING TO

SHOW BUT A USELESS SPACE FORCE!

THE IMPEACHMENT TRIAL WAS A HAIL MARY, WAIT, WAS THAT REALLY

THIS JANUARY?

TRUMP DOWNPLAYED THE VIRUS, SAID IT'D GO AWAY FASTER THAN

TOOBIN'S ZOOM DISPLAY, NO MASKS AT HIS RALLIES THROUGHOUT THE

CAMPAIGN, WERE PEOPLE KEPT SAFE?

ASK HERMAN CAIN.

TRUMP GOT SICK AND DOCTORS LIED SO HE COULD GO ON A DEADLY

JOYRIDE.

AMY CONEY BARRETT WAS PUSHED THROUGH, MELANIA SAID SHE HATES

CHRISTMAS, TOO, ROSE GARDEN EVENT HAD A SUPER SPREAD, V.P.

MIKE PENCE HAD A FLY ON HIS HEAD, ON A SECOND STIMULUS NO

ONE CAN AGREE, ASIDE FROM“ PERSON, WOMAN, MAN, CAMERA, TV”

TRUMP STRUGGLED TO GO DOWN A RAMP, AND EVERYONE IS BUYING

STAMPS, ANTHONY FAUCI DISAPPEARED, TRUMP SURE HOLDS A

BIBLE WEIRD, IT'S BEEN FOUR YEARS, BUT FELT LIKE TEN, SO IS

AMERICA GREAT AGAIN?

KIDS IN SCHOOL ARE STILL AFRAID, DONALD'S TAXES WENT UNPAID,

MIGRANT FAMILIES WERE DESTROYED, MILLIONS ARE STILL UNEMPLOYED,

THINGS WILL GET BETTER, BUT IT'S NOT A GIVEN, SO THINK ABOUT THE

COUNTRY THAT YOU WANT TO LIVE IN.

AND IF LOOKING AT POLLS MAKES YOU BREAK INTO HIVES, THEN VOTE

TOMORROW SO WE CAN MOVE ON WITH OUR LIVES!

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MAYOR PETE BUTTIGIEG!

COME ON BACK!