I'm here up north in snowy Toronto, Canada.

我在加拿大多倫多的北方雪地裡。

You might know me from the corner market where I hang out

你可能認識我，我在街角市場混的時候就認識我了

and I'm there a lot and I see a lot of people there,

我經常去那裡，我看到很多人在那裡。

but also I do the voice of "Rick and Morty".

但我也做 "瑞克和莫蒂 "的聲音。

Oh geez Rick, help me.

哦，天啊，瑞克，幫幫我

Morty, I'm gonna murder you.

莫蒂，我要殺了你。

And I'm here to do the improvised cartoon character voices

而我是來做即興卡通人物配音的。

for you during the Coronavirus.

在冠狀病毒期間，為你。

So the thing with this guy is he's got a huge mouth.

所以這傢伙的特點就是嘴大。

That's why he grew the mustache because he's insecure

所以他才留了鬍子，因為他沒有安全感

about his gigantic open mouth.

關於他那張巨大的嘴。

So he grew this huge mustache to hide his mouth

所以他留了一大把鬍子來掩飾自己的嘴巴

and he pretends like he's got a small mouth.

而他卻假裝自己的嘴巴很小。

Even though nobody would really care.

儘管沒有人會真正關心。

If you saw him with a huge mouth, you just go like,

如果你看到他有一張大嘴，你就會像。

okay, whatever, that's his thing.

好吧，不管，這是他的事情。

But he's really insecure about it.

但他真的沒有安全感。

And he's got his little weird animals.

他有他的小怪獸。

I can't tell.

我不能說。

Is that cat on the right?

右邊那隻貓嗎？

Did he get that from the tiger king?

難道他是從虎王那裡得到的？

That looks like a exotic cat, which is problematic

這看起來像一隻外來的貓，這是有問題的。

because we all know Carole Baskin would be really upset

因為我們都知道Carole Baskin會很不高興的

with this guy.

和這個人在一起

She wouldn't mind his big mouth, but she'd be upset

她不會介意他的大嘴巴，但她會不高興的

that he's got an exotic cat, you know,

他有一個異國情調的貓，你知道的。

because those things need to not exist and if they do exist,

因為那些東西需要不存在，如果存在的話。

they need to be in her cages only.

他們只需要在她的籠子裡。

Hey, what's going on?

嘿，這是怎麼回事？

Hey everybody, my mouth is so small.

嘿，大家好，我的嘴真小。

as even have a small mouth like me?

連我這樣的小嘴都有？

Is anyone's mouth really small because my sure is.

是否有人的嘴真的很小，因為我的肯定是。

Oh man, my mouth so small, I can barely talk.

天啊，我的嘴好小，幾乎不能說話。

I can barely get the words out, you know.

我幾乎不能把話說出來，你知道的。

What do you think of my tiger?

你覺得我的老虎怎麼樣？

I've got a little baby tiger cub.

我有一個小虎崽。

Want to take pictures with it?

想用它拍照嗎？

Oh man, PETA's after me.

哦，夥計，PETA在追殺我。

They're really down my chain right now

他們真的是我的鏈，現在

because I've got a baby tiger.

因為我有一隻小老虎。

Oh, my mouth so small.

哦，我的嘴好小。

If anyone ever found out how big my mouth was...

如果有人發現我的嘴有多大... ...

All right, so this guy, he looks kind

好吧，所以這個傢伙，他看起來有點...

of like Jack Black a little bit.

像傑克-布萊克一點點。

[laughing]

[笑]

He's got that like little pig nose,

他的鼻子像小豬鼻子一樣。

so it makes me think he'd sound kind of snotty.

所以，這讓我覺得他聽起來有點鼻涕。

His name is Spozo.

他叫斯波佐

I just made that up.

我只是做了。

I guess he would sound like,

我想他的聲音會像。

hey, what's going on, I'm Spozo.

嘿，這是怎麼回事，我是斯波佐。

Hey everybody, who wants to go eat some pancakes

嘿，大家好，誰願意去吃一些煎餅。

with me in hell?

和我一起下地獄？

That's where we're all going.

這就是我們要去的地方。

This little guy looks just like a weird,

這個小傢伙看起來就像個怪人。

little alien character.

小外星人的性格。

This guy is like a little acid trip in boots

這傢伙就像穿著靴子的小迷幻藥一樣。

with the tail and he's drooling.

與尾巴，他的口水。

I think that might be a mask, he's wearing

我想那可能是個面具，他戴著... ...

and underneath, he's just drooling uncontrollably

而在下面，他只是流著口水，無法控制

and maybe that's why he wears the mask.

也許這就是他戴面具的原因。

And he sort of a Jesus Christ figure because he's got

他有點像耶穌基督的形象，因為他有。

that glowing crown behind him.

他身後那頂發光的皇冠。

In a thousand years, they'll see this picture

一千年後，他們會看到這幅圖畫。

and they'll think that it was some sort of representation

他們會認為，這是某種代表性的

of Jesus Christ and that'll really confuse everybody.

的耶穌基督，這將真正混淆大家。

It'll mix things up for the whole Jesus Christ mythos.

這會讓整個耶穌基督的神話故事混亂起來。

And he probably sounds a little something like this.

而他的聲音可能有點像這樣。

I'm Jesus Christ.

我是耶穌基督。

Look at me, I'm Jesus Christ.

看著我，我是耶穌基督。

Oh my god.

哦，我的上帝。

I'm gonna confuse everybody.

我要把大家搞糊塗了。

I can't stop drooling.

我止不住的流口水。

I'm Jesus Christ.

我是耶穌基督。

Hello, anybody listening?

你好，有人在聽嗎？

There's one set of footsteps.

有一組腳步聲。

That's because I'm carrying you, I'm Jesus.

那是因為我揹著你，我是耶穌。

I don't know why I think he's Jesus.

我不知道為什麼我認為他是耶穌。

So this guy looks like he's

所以這傢伙看起來像他的

in a totally normal, regular situation,

在一個完全正常的、有規律的情況下。

but he's just super spooked about everything.

但他只是超級驚嚇的一切。

If I have to name him, I guess Roger.

如果要我給他起名字的話，我猜是羅傑。

I mean, you know, I'm really getting creative

我的意思是，你知道，我真的得到了創意

with the names here.

與這裡的名字。

Maybe he's just shopping, you know.

也許他只是在購物，你知道的。

He's just in a small little grocery mart just shopping.

他只是在一個小小的雜貨店裡買東西。

And so yeah, he'd be like,

所以，是的，他會像，

oh man...

哦，夥計...

[fast breathing]

[快速呼吸]

I can't...

我不能...

[fast breathing]

[快速呼吸]

Where's the bread at?

麵包在哪裡？

Why isn't there any bread here?

為什麼這裡沒有面包？

Why isn't there any bread on the table?

為什麼桌子上沒有面包？

Oh my God.

哦，我的上帝。

Oh my God, there's no bread over here!

哦，我的上帝，這裡沒有面包！

[fast breathing]

[快速呼吸]

I need bread!

我需要麵包！

Can you see him being really freaked out about bread?

你能看到他真的被面包嚇壞了嗎？

And then his friend is like,

然後他的朋友就像。

hey, Roger, did you take your medicine man?

嘿，羅傑，你把你的藥的人嗎？

He's like, medicine!

他就像，藥！

I'm afraid of medicine!

我怕吃藥!

Oh, [beep], what the [beep] was that!

哦，[嗶]，那是什麼[嗶]？

He's like, Roger, that's bread.

他說，羅傑，那是麵包。

It's gonna get me!

它要抓我了！

We need Rogers buddy who I think he's shopping with

我們需要羅傑斯的朋友，我想他正在和他一起購物。

and I think that's the next character.

我想這是下一個角色。

They met at the same psychiatric ward

他們是在同一個精神病院認識的

and developed a really lifelong friendship at that place.

並在那個地方建立了真正的終身友誼。

This guy's on his meds and he's actually

這傢伙在吃藥，他實際上是。

got his [beep] together now, so he's pretty normal.

得到了他的[嗶]在一起，所以他很正常。

He just sounds like this.

他只是聽起來像這樣。

Hey, Roger, Roger are you all right?

嘿，羅傑，羅傑你沒事吧？

Did you take your meds?

你吃藥了嗎？

[heavy breathing]

[沉重的呼吸]

I just need some bread.

我只是需要一些麵包。

I'm freaking out!

我嚇壞了！

He looks like he'd be more interesting than Roger,

他看起來比羅傑更有趣。

but he's pretty normal.

但他是很正常的。

He's got two pupils and stuff, but you know,

他有兩個學生什麼的，但你知道。

he can see fine.

他能看得很清楚。

He's very confident in his differentness.

他對自己的與眾不同非常自信。

Let's call it that.

就這麼說吧。

And he sounds like how I'm talking right now.

而他聽起來就像我現在說話的樣子。

Hey, what's going on?

嘿，這是怎麼回事？

I'm Rogers friend.

我是羅傑斯的朋友。

I met him in a psychiatric facility.

我是在精神病院認識他的

I'm fine now.

我現在很好。

That was a rough time for me, but I'm fine.

那段時間對我來說很艱難，但我很好。

Everything happens for a reason.

每件事都是有原因的

I met Roger.

我和羅傑一起

He and I are inseparable.

我和他是分不開的。

We don't go anywhere without each other

我們哪裡都不能離開對方

and you're probably looking at my four pupils,

你可能在看我的四個瞳孔。

but it's fine.

但它的罰款。

Like, I know it's weird and jarring and people stare at me,

就像，我知道這很奇怪，很刺眼，人們盯著我看。

but I'm totally comfortable and confident in myself

但我對自己很放心，很有信心。

and I know who I am.

我知道我是誰。

His name is Silver.

他的名字叫銀。

Because he's got a Silver coat.

因為他有一件銀色的外套。

Wow, this guy is...

哇，這傢伙是...

This is real clever.

這是真正的聰明。

It's a piece of toast who's toasted on weed.

這是一塊烤在雜草上的土司。

Maybe there's a little bit of something laced in that joint.

也許那個關節裡摻雜了一點東西。

His name is Mr. Bread Slice.

他的名字是麵包片先生。

Let's get real creative with his name.

讓我們用他的名字搞點創意吧。

He sounds like, hey, what's up guys?

他的口氣就像，嘿，怎麼了夥計們？

I'm about to go smoke this big fat joint here.

我正準備去抽這個大胖子的大麻。

It's got a bunch of cocaine and LSD inside of it.

裡面有一堆可卡因和迷幻藥。

I'm gonna get real [beep] up tonight.

我今晚會得到真正的[嗶]起來。

Keep me away from everybody's mom.

讓我遠離大家的媽媽。

This character seems you know, like she'd be sort of shy.

這個角色似乎... ...你知道，像她會有點害羞。

Her name's, I don't know why I always want

她的名字是，我不知道為什麼我總是想。

to name characters like this Nancy.

來命名這樣的人物南希。

Oh man, I am so tired today, you know.

哦，夥計，我今天好累，你知道的。

I am sick and tired and I can't find my inhaler

我又病又累，找不到吸入器了

and my knees hurt.

我的膝蓋很疼

I'm so afraid of everything.

我什麼都怕

She sounds more confident than I thought she would be.

她聽起來比我想象的要自信。

I guess she's got a bit of an attitude.

我想她的態度有點不對。

Nancy works at the local Starbucks, you know,

南希在當地的星巴克工作，你知道的。

but she wants to work at the local mom-and-pop coffee shop,

但她想在當地的母嬰咖啡店工作。

the real cool one, but you know, she can't get her foot

真正的酷，但你知道，她不能得到她的腳，

in the door.

在門裡。

But that's a goal.

但這是一個目標。

That's a big goal for her.

這對她來說是個大目標。

This guy, oh [beep].

這傢伙，哦[嗶]。

I feel like all these are gonna sound the same.

我覺得這些東西聽起來都是一樣的。

I wish I was better at like, you know,

我希望我是更好的喜歡，你知道的。

doing actual impressions.

做實際的印象。

Hello, my name is Peter.

你好，我叫彼得。

I have psychic abilities.

我有異能。

I'm going to send a message to you.

我要給你發個資訊。

[grunting]

[咕嚕聲]

Did you get it?

你拿到了嗎？

Did you get my message?

你收到我的資訊了嗎？

Peter has a lot of friends.

彼得有很多朋友

Peter hangs out in Vegas, a real high roller so to speak.

彼得在拉斯維加斯混，可以說是一個真正的高手。

Hangs out with all the cool lounge singers

和所有酷愛唱歌的人一起玩耍。

and I think he fits in really well in that world.

我覺得他很適合在那個世界裡。

They like him because he's got psychic abilities.

他們喜歡他是因為他有異能。

There's really no other reason to keep Peter around.

真的沒有其他理由讓Peter留在身邊。

He can get in the head of the blackjack dealer

他可以進入21點莊家的腦袋裡。

and trip them up, cloud their mind.

並給他們下絆子，矇蔽他們的心靈。

This guy is a real sweet soul, I feel like.

我覺得這傢伙真是個可愛的靈魂。

This guy's got a real...

這傢伙有一個真正的... ...

Like he puts on a big front to try to be tough,

就像他裝出一副要強硬的樣子。

but deep down, he's just a real softy and he's been hurt.

但在內心深處，他只是一個真正的軟弱和他的傷害。

He's been hurt a lot.

他受了很多傷

That's why he's created this tough veneer,

所以他才創造了這種堅韌的貼面。

this angry exterior.

這憤怒的外表。

He compensates for all of his deep inner softness

他彌補了他內心深處所有的柔軟。

with the bike and the jacket and that big crazy grin.

與自行車和外套 和大瘋狂的笑容。

Hey, I'm Ted, how's it going?

嘿，我是泰德，怎麼樣了？

I don't tell anybody this but,

我不告訴任何人，但。

I'm really emotional right now.

我現在真的很激動。

Hello, Mom, I just got out of therapy and I need

你好，媽媽，我剛從治療中出來，我需要...

to apologize to you for all the times that I made

向你道歉，因為我曾多次讓你

you clean my bed.

你幫我清理床鋪

I'm also not sure about the voice.

我也不知道這聲音。

I don't wanna say it, but my first thought when I looked

我不想說出來，但我的第一個想法，當我看了

at this guy was he reminds me a little bit

在這個傢伙是他讓我想起了一點點

of Joe Rogan, but not.

的喬-羅根，但不。

It's just the bald head, I think.

我想，這只是光頭。

So yeah, maybe he sounds like this.

所以是的，也許他的聲音是這樣的。

I'm gonna go a different direction with him.

我打算和他換個方向。

So yeah, this is what I think this guy Ted, his name's Ted,

所以是的，這是我認為這個傢伙泰德，他的名字是泰德。

would sound like and this might sound a little familiar,

會聽起來像，這可能聽起來有點熟悉。

but let's see.

但讓我們看看。

Hey everybody, it's me Ted.

嘿，大家好，這是我泰德。

How's it going?

進展如何？

I am so sleepy.

我好睏。

I am sleepy as all hell.

我已經困得不行了。

I cannot wait to take a nap tonight.

我今晚迫不及待地想睡個覺。

In other words known as going to bed.

換句話說就是所謂的上床。

Now, give me my pancakes, you bitch.

現在，給我我的煎餅，你這個婊子。

Oh, cause he's in a restaurant.

哦，因為他是在一家餐館。

If that sounded effeminate, I didn't, he's not.

如果這聽起來很娘娘腔，我沒有，他不是。

Ted is gender-fluid, so you can't really pin him down

Ted是個性別流氓，所以你不能真的確定他的身份

with any sort of labels.

與任何類型的標籤。

- [Producer] Is there something like making a ticking noise?

- 是不是有什麼東西在發出滴答聲？

- My mom's eating, get out of here.

- 我媽媽在吃東西，快離開這裡。

Get out of here with your [beep].

帶著你的[嗶]聲離開這裡。

Because your forks gonna keep clicking.

因為你的叉子會一直點擊。

- [Mom] I'll be more careful.

- [媽媽]我會更加小心的。

- You're going to be defiant and just stay here

- 你要奮不顧身地呆在這裡。

after you've been ordered out.

在你被訂購出去之後。

See how the tables turn with parents.

看看如何與父母翻臉。

First, year of the defiant one and then,

先是不服輸的一年，然後。

they sitting over there, sucking down noodles,

他們坐在那裡， 吸下麵條。

tinkin their forks against their teeth.

用叉子抵住牙齒。

You know what's funny about this guy

你知道這傢伙有什麼好笑的嗎？

is he's like the adult version of the little devil baby.

是他就像成人版的小魔王寶寶。

Only you know, he's been reborn into a human body.

只有你知道，他已經重生為人的身體。

He looks like a giant thumb and I think he's trying

他看起來像一個巨大的拇指，我認為他試圖

to break into someone's house.

闖入別人的房子。

Just imagine that face right outside the window, you know,

想象一下那張臉就在窗外，你知道的。

just peeking in and you're trying to watch some Netflix.

只是偷看，你想看一些Netflix。

You're watching all the hot Netflix stuff right now.

你現在看的都是Netflix的熱播劇。

He's really getting his fill because he's got

他真的得到了他的填充，因為他得到了

his little cupcake, which he licks while he watches you

他的小蛋糕，他舔，而他看著你。

and you're just watching Netflix and Hulu and all your fun,

而你只是看Netflix和Hulu和你所有的樂趣。

you know, Coronavirus stuff that you're doing

你知道，冠狀病毒的東西，你在做什麼？

and he's just staring at you.

而他只是盯著你。

And one of his hands is off.

而他的一隻手也脫了。

You don't see where it is.