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  • - Hey Vanity Fair, it's me, Justin Roiland.

  • I'm here up north in snowy Toronto, Canada.

  • You might know me from the corner market where I hang out

  • and I'm there a lot and I see a lot of people there,

  • but also I do the voice of "Rick and Morty".

  • Oh geez Rick, help me.

  • Morty, I'm gonna murder you.

  • And I'm here to do the improvised cartoon character voices

  • for you during the Coronavirus.

  • So the thing with this guy is he's got a huge mouth.

  • That's why he grew the mustache because he's insecure

  • about his gigantic open mouth.

  • So he grew this huge mustache to hide his mouth

  • and he pretends like he's got a small mouth.

  • Even though nobody would really care.

  • If you saw him with a huge mouth, you just go like,

  • okay, whatever, that's his thing.

  • But he's really insecure about it.

  • And he's got his little weird animals.

  • I can't tell.

  • Is that cat on the right?

  • Did he get that from the tiger king?

  • That looks like a exotic cat, which is problematic

  • because we all know Carole Baskin would be really upset

  • with this guy.

  • She wouldn't mind his big mouth, but she'd be upset

  • that he's got an exotic cat, you know,

  • because those things need to not exist and if they do exist,

  • they need to be in her cages only.

  • Hey, what's going on?

  • Hey everybody, my mouth is so small.

  • as even have a small mouth like me?

  • Is anyone's mouth really small because my sure is.

  • Oh man, my mouth so small, I can barely talk.

  • I can barely get the words out, you know.

  • What do you think of my tiger?

  • I've got a little baby tiger cub.

  • Want to take pictures with it?

  • Oh man, PETA's after me.

  • They're really down my chain right now

  • because I've got a baby tiger.

  • Oh, my mouth so small.

  • If anyone ever found out how big my mouth was...

  • All right, so this guy, he looks kind

  • of like Jack Black a little bit.

  • [laughing]

  • He's got that like little pig nose,

  • so it makes me think he'd sound kind of snotty.

  • His name is Spozo.

  • I just made that up.

  • I guess he would sound like,

  • hey, what's going on, I'm Spozo.

  • Hey everybody, who wants to go eat some pancakes

  • with me in hell?

  • That's where we're all going.

  • This little guy looks just like a weird,

  • little alien character.

  • This guy is like a little acid trip in boots

  • with the tail and he's drooling.

  • I think that might be a mask, he's wearing

  • and underneath, he's just drooling uncontrollably

  • and maybe that's why he wears the mask.

  • And he sort of a Jesus Christ figure because he's got

  • that glowing crown behind him.

  • In a thousand years, they'll see this picture

  • and they'll think that it was some sort of representation

  • of Jesus Christ and that'll really confuse everybody.

  • It'll mix things up for the whole Jesus Christ mythos.

  • And he probably sounds a little something like this.

  • I'm Jesus Christ.

  • Look at me, I'm Jesus Christ.

  • Oh my god.

  • I'm gonna confuse everybody.

  • I can't stop drooling.

  • I'm Jesus Christ.

  • Hello, anybody listening?

  • There's one set of footsteps.

  • That's because I'm carrying you, I'm Jesus.

  • I don't know why I think he's Jesus.

  • So this guy looks like he's

  • in a totally normal, regular situation,

  • but he's just super spooked about everything.

  • If I have to name him, I guess Roger.

  • I mean, you know, I'm really getting creative

  • with the names here.

  • Maybe he's just shopping, you know.

  • He's just in a small little grocery mart just shopping.

  • And so yeah, he'd be like,

  • oh man...

  • [fast breathing]

  • I can't...

  • [fast breathing]

  • Where's the bread at?

  • Why isn't there any bread here?

  • Why isn't there any bread on the table?

  • Oh my God.

  • Oh my God, there's no bread over here!

  • [fast breathing]

  • I need bread!

  • Can you see him being really freaked out about bread?

  • And then his friend is like,

  • hey, Roger, did you take your medicine man?

  • He's like, medicine!

  • I'm afraid of medicine!

  • Oh, [beep], what the [beep] was that!

  • He's like, Roger, that's bread.

  • It's gonna get me!

  • We need Rogers buddy who I think he's shopping with

  • and I think that's the next character.

  • They met at the same psychiatric ward

  • and developed a really lifelong friendship at that place.

  • This guy's on his meds and he's actually

  • got his [beep] together now, so he's pretty normal.

  • He just sounds like this.

  • Hey, Roger, Roger are you all right?

  • Did you take your meds?

  • [heavy breathing]

  • I just need some bread.

  • I'm freaking out!

  • He looks like he'd be more interesting than Roger,

  • but he's pretty normal.

  • He's got two pupils and stuff, but you know,

  • he can see fine.

  • He's very confident in his differentness.

  • Let's call it that.

  • And he sounds like how I'm talking right now.

  • Hey, what's going on?

  • I'm Rogers friend.

  • I met him in a psychiatric facility.

  • I'm fine now.

  • That was a rough time for me, but I'm fine.

  • Everything happens for a reason.

  • I met Roger.

  • He and I are inseparable.

  • We don't go anywhere without each other

  • and you're probably looking at my four pupils,

  • but it's fine.

  • Like, I know it's weird and jarring and people stare at me,

  • but I'm totally comfortable and confident in myself

  • and I know who I am.

  • His name is Silver.

  • Because he's got a Silver coat.

  • Wow, this guy is...

  • This is real clever.

  • It's a piece of toast who's toasted on weed.

  • Maybe there's a little bit of something laced in that joint.

  • His name is Mr. Bread Slice.

  • Let's get real creative with his name.

  • He sounds like, hey, what's up guys?

  • I'm about to go smoke this big fat joint here.

  • It's got a bunch of cocaine and LSD inside of it.

  • I'm gonna get real [beep] up tonight.

  • Keep me away from everybody's mom.

  • This character seems you know, like she'd be sort of shy.

  • Her name's, I don't know why I always want

  • to name characters like this Nancy.

  • Oh man, I am so tired today, you know.

  • I am sick and tired and I can't find my inhaler

  • and my knees hurt.

  • I'm so afraid of everything.

  • She sounds more confident than I thought she would be.

  • I guess she's got a bit of an attitude.

  • Nancy works at the local Starbucks, you know,

  • but she wants to work at the local mom-and-pop coffee shop,

  • the real cool one, but you know, she can't get her foot

  • in the door.

  • But that's a goal.

  • That's a big goal for her.

  • This guy, oh [beep].

  • I feel like all these are gonna sound the same.

  • I wish I was better at like, you know,

  • doing actual impressions.

  • Hello, my name is Peter.

  • I have psychic abilities.

  • I'm going to send a message to you.

  • [grunting]

  • Did you get it?

  • Did you get my message?

  • Peter has a lot of friends.

  • Peter hangs out in Vegas, a real high roller so to speak.

  • Hangs out with all the cool lounge singers

  • and I think he fits in really well in that world.

  • They like him because he's got psychic abilities.

  • There's really no other reason to keep Peter around.

  • He can get in the head of the blackjack dealer

  • and trip them up, cloud their mind.

  • This guy is a real sweet soul, I feel like.

  • This guy's got a real...

  • Like he puts on a big front to try to be tough,

  • but deep down, he's just a real softy and he's been hurt.

  • He's been hurt a lot.

  • That's why he's created this tough veneer,

  • this angry exterior.

  • He compensates for all of his deep inner softness

  • with the bike and the jacket and that big crazy grin.

  • Hey, I'm Ted, how's it going?

  • I don't tell anybody this but,

  • I'm really emotional right now.

  • Hello, Mom, I just got out of therapy and I need

  • to apologize to you for all the times that I made

  • you clean my bed.

  • I'm also not sure about the voice.

  • I don't wanna say it, but my first thought when I looked

  • at this guy was he reminds me a little bit

  • of Joe Rogan, but not.

  • It's just the bald head, I think.

  • So yeah, maybe he sounds like this.

  • I'm gonna go a different direction with him.

  • So yeah, this is what I think this guy Ted, his name's Ted,

  • would sound like and this might sound a little familiar,

  • but let's see.

  • Hey everybody, it's me Ted.

  • How's it going?

  • I am so sleepy.

  • I am sleepy as all hell.

  • I cannot wait to take a nap tonight.

  • In other words known as going to bed.

  • Now, give me my pancakes, you bitch.

  • Oh, cause he's in a restaurant.

  • If that sounded effeminate, I didn't, he's not.

  • Ted is gender-fluid, so you can't really pin him down

  • with any sort of labels.

  • - [Producer] Is there something like making a ticking noise?

  • - My mom's eating, get out of here.

  • Get out of here with your [beep].

  • Because your forks gonna keep clicking.

  • - [Mom] I'll be more careful.

  • - You're going to be defiant and just stay here

  • after you've been ordered out.

  • See how the tables turn with parents.

  • First, year of the defiant one and then,

  • they sitting over there, sucking down noodles,

  • tinkin their forks against their teeth.

  • You know what's funny about this guy

  • is he's like the adult version of the little devil baby.

  • Only you know, he's been reborn into a human body.

  • He looks like a giant thumb and I think he's trying

  • to break into someone's house.

  • Just imagine that face right outside the window, you know,

  • just peeking in and you're trying to watch some Netflix.

  • You're watching all the hot Netflix stuff right now.

  • He's really getting his fill because he's got

  • his little cupcake, which he licks while he watches you

  • and you're just watching Netflix and Hulu and all your fun,

  • you know, Coronavirus stuff that you're doing

  • and he's just staring at you.

  • And one of his hands is off.

  • You don't see where it is.

  • There's a reason for that.

  • So he's looking at you and he's just like...

  • [grunting]

  • Yeah, this is so cool.

  • This is so cool, man.

  • I love this.

  • I love myself.

  • I love myself.

  • I love what I do.

  • I love doing this.

  • Oh, yeah, oh, oh man.

  • I should get paid for doing this.

  • And he's just staring at you and your clothed.

  • You're not you're not naked or anything,

  • you're just in your living room watching Netflix.

  • You're not even like done up.

  • You're like in pajamas, you know.

  • You haven't washed your hair in three days

  • and he's just [beep] staring at you.

  • And he puts in a good eight hours a day.

  • [laughing]

  • Hey, thanks so much Vanity Fair.

  • What an honor this was to do these hack impressions

  • for you guys.

  • I hope you guys enjoy it.

  • Please stay safe out there in the Coronavirus world.

  • Nothing's ever gonna be the same.

  • So buckle in, we are entering a new chapter of humanity.

  • So let's have fun with it.

  • All right guys, stay safe

  • and keep your [beep] together, bye.

- Hey Vanity Fair, it's me, Justin Roiland.

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