Starring, you guessed it, Squidward!

This show was filmed in front of a live studio audience

[giggling]

Heaven, at last.

I've seen more alert people in a retirement home.

Oh, which way to the living-without-a-brain seminar?

Don't be late.

I've heard better comebacks from a turkey sandwich.

Get a life!

This place is better than I expected!

302...

303...

And 304!

Beautiful!

And not a pineapple in sight!

Good night, Clary.

Tomorrow, we began life anew.

[phone rings]

304, New Life Street, Squidward speaking.

[SpongeBob mumbling on the phone]

There is no way I am moving back there, SpongeBob!

I am finally among my own kind.

[SpongeBob mumbling on the phone]

Now, goodbye.

[mumbling]

[mumbling]

[rooster crowing]

I'm my own man.

Now these neighbors know how to live!

Intensive!

Hm, I bet they won't have...

Wow, they have it!

Canned bread!

This town is great!

I would really be impressed if it had...

an interpretive dance academy!

Yeah! It's even better in a group!

This town is perfect.

A clarinet trio?!

[rooster crowing]

Another great day!

Yep, this is great!

Might as well rename this town Squidward's Paradise!

Or perhaps... too much paradise.

SpongeBob?

Tch.

[whistling]

Oops!

[giggling]

[clears throat]

Please.

Just getting the leaves.

[giggling]

[giggling]

[laughing]

[giggling]

[laughing]

Could you pipe down over there, iron lung?

[both laughing]

[laughing]

Tag! You're it!

[laughing]

What can I get you boys?

[laughing]

Here it is, Patrick.

Now we've just gotta convince Squidward to come back home.

You got our apology cake?

[laughing]

Hey! That looked like Squidward!

That looked like Squidward, also!

In angry mob form!

Hold it right there, Mr. Tentacles!

Stay back! I've got gardening tools!

Here, just read this.

What is it?

A well thought out and organized list of complaints.

Grievances?! This town is a grievance!

There should be a law against so many stuck-up tightwads living in one place!

This city needs to be destroyed!

Or at least painted a different color.

FYI, you don't have to live here, you know.

Hey, you're right!

And I'm leaving ASAP!

- Are you Squidward? - No.

- Are you Squidward? - No.

Are you Squidward?

That's okay, take your time.

Any one of these Squidwards could be the real Squidward, Patrick!

Freedom! Whoo-hoo!

[laughing]

Well, we know one thing, it sure isn't that guy!