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  • (eerie music)

  • (eerie laughing)

  • (squashing sound) (air whooshing)

  • (grunting) (air whooshing)

  • (grunting)

  • (eerie laughing) (thunder crashes)

  • - And it was at that very moment, that Orange realized

  • he'd been eating a dirty gym sock the entire time!

  • - Ew!

  • - Ew!

  • - Did I overhear someone telling a Creepypasta?

  • (all screaming)

  • (glass crashing)

  • - No, Pear was just telling an actual

  • story about me. (laughs)

  • - So you actually ate a dirty gym sock?

  • Like, the entire thing?

  • - Are you surprised?

  • That's not even that crazy for Orange.

  • - Yeah, earlier today he farted the ABCs, so.

  • - Enough!

  • Listen, I thought I heard a Creepypasta in progress,

  • and I went to all the effort of doing my creepy entrance

  • routine, I'm on a roll.

  • We're just gonna go with it, okay?

  • Now, who among you is brave enough to hear my newest

  • creepypasta, "The Funky Paw"?

  • - Is this anything like the famous short story,

  • "The Monkey's Paw"?

  • - No, that story isn't funky whatsoever.

  • - Gotcha.

  • - Now then, "The Funky Paw" is a story about

  • a young grapefruit.

  • - Here we go.

  • - Yes, it is indeed coincidental that you are a grapefruit

  • and the story involves a grapefruit.

  • Do not interrupt me again.

  • Ahem!

  • Now then, on to my creepypasta,

  • which is, as always, to die for.(laughs)

  • (thunder crashes) - Once upon a time,

  • there was a young grapefruit who cared very, very

  • much about the way he smelled.

  • - What is happening right now?

  • - I realize it's coincidental!

  • Now stop interrupting!

  • Ahem!

  • - For someone without a nose, the grapefruit's sense

  • of smell was quite refined.

  • One day, while shopping for rare scents in a shop

  • he had never visited before, he was offered

  • a horrible-smelling funky paw for purchase.

  • The purveyor of the shop told him the paw would grant

  • him three wishes, but there was a catch, all of his wishes

  • would be granted in a rather funky fashion.

  • The grapefruit purchased the paw, exited the shop,

  • and when he looked back, the shop had vanished

  • into a cloud of greenish gas.

  • (air whooshing) (tense music)

  • - Nevertheless, the grapefruit rushed straight home

  • with the paw and wished for a pile of money.

  • It instantly appeared!

  • The young grapefruit was overjoyed to find the paw worked.

  • However, the pile of cash smelled rather funky.

  • So funky, in fact, that no one would accept it as payment.

  • No matter how much the grapefruit offered to pay,

  • no one wanted his stinky money.

  • And so, the grapefruit was left with a smelly pile of cash

  • that was utterly worthless. (chuckles)

  • The grapefruit decided to make his second wish,

  • that the woman of his dreams would fall madly

  • in love with him.

  • Again, the wish came true immediately!

  • She loved him dearly, and could not be convinced otherwise,

  • no matter what.

  • You see, the grapefruit absolutely reeked.

  • The stench of his money had permeated everything

  • in the surrounding area, including the grapefruit himself.

  • No matter how many times he bathed or tried to hide

  • it with his ridiculous collection of body sprays,

  • the grapefruit stank to high heaven.

  • But his love was not deterred, and remained entranced

  • by him, even though she vomited whenever he came near.

  • (liquid squashing) (lady screaming)

  • Eventually, the grapefruit was at the end of his rope.

  • He was penniless, he smelled awful, and the love of his life

  • was vomiting far too frequently for his liking.

  • "I wish for the smell to go away," he thought

  • to himself, before he realized he still

  • had one wish remaining!

  • Why?

  • He could simply wish the smell away!

  • And so the grapefruit took up the paw and began uttering

  • his wish aloud, saying, "I wish for the smell."

  • But then, in the middle of his sentence, he caught a whiff

  • of himself and vomited uncontrollably.

  • And unfortunately for him, the paw heard his request,

  • he had wished for the smell, and that's precisely

  • what he got.

  • From that day forward, the funky stench spread

  • across the land, causing everyone who smelled

  • it to barf loudly and comedically.

  • The smell was so horrid that some people even barfed

  • themselves to death, and the stench of their decaying bodies

  • somehow made the stench even worse.

  • Everyone knew it was the grapefruit who had brought

  • the funky curse upon them, but they did not seek

  • retribution, to kill the Grapefruit would be too kind.

  • The true punishment was to allow him to live

  • alongside his vomit-happy true love,

  • and his funky-smelling cash every day for the rest

  • of his natural life.

  • The end. (laughs)

  • - Now, that's a creepypasta that passed

  • the sniff test. (laughs)

  • - Um, guys?

  • Where's Grapefruit?

  • - Oh, I believe he went to change the radiator hose

  • on his riding lawn mower, obvious.

  • - Checks out, I believe it.

  • - Man, that was a really good creepypasta.

  • The way you described the smell,

  • I can practically smell it.

  • - Actually, that wasn't the story, it was me.

  • (fart squelching) (laughing)

  • - Orange!

  • - Orange!

  • - What?

  • I can't help it, I ate a gym sock! (laughs)

  • (fart squelching)

  • (all snoring)

  • - Did someone say Creepypasta?

  • (all screaming)

  • - What?

  • Dude, no one said anything, we were all asleep!

  • - Oh, well, could someone mention Creepypasta?

  • Like, as a little favor to me?

  • Lemme just go get hidden again, thank you.

  • Okay, everybody go for it.

  • - Creepypasta!

  • - Did someone say Creepypasta?

  • - Yeah, you asked us to.

  • - Well, I just so happen to have a brand new creepypasta

  • to share with you, it's called "Swimming Pool Shark."

  • And don't worry, I promise it doesn't bite!

  • (laughs) (thunder crashes)

  • - Excited to hear it, sounds jaws-ome. (laughs)

  • - Thanks for that, Orange, really wrecked the mood.

  • (clears throat)

  • Once upon a time, there was a young orange

  • who loved to swim.

  • - Like me?

  • - No, less annoying than you.

  • - Like me?

  • - Sure, why not?

  • Anyway, this young orange was excited to learn

  • that a new swimming pool had just opened near her home,

  • although the name of the swimming pool,

  • Sharksmouth Public Pool, concerned her.

  • She knew it was a foolish notion, but she just couldn't help

  • but wonder if there was a shark living beneath the surface

  • of the pool.

  • Her parents, her friends, the lifeguard,

  • everyone assured her that there was no shark in the pool.

  • Finally, she came to her senses, she was being silly.

  • So she got into the pool, which proved

  • to be somewhat difficult because the edge of the pool

  • was so sharp and jagged.

  • But soon she was having a grand time playing in the water

  • with her friends, until suddenly she spotted a fin

  • popping up out of the water across the pool!

  • But when she looked again, she saw it was just a backlit

  • Dorito relaxing on a pool floatie.

  • Relieved, that's when she noticed blood in the water!

  • She screamed!

  • But it turned out not to be blood at all, her friend

  • Ketchup Bottle had just peed in the pool again,

  • so it wasn't quite as bad as the orange had feared.

  • Still, everyone was asked to get out so the lifeguard

  • could clean the pool.

  • One by one, everyone began climbing up out of the pool.

  • And as the orange watched her friend Muffin emerge

  • from the water, she finally saw it, evidence

  • that there was a murderous pool shark on the loose,

  • her friend Muffin had no legs!

  • (Creepypasta laughs) (Orange screams)

  • The pool shark must have bitten them off!

  • The orange's friends promptly reminded her that Muffin

  • never had any legs, none of them did, in fact.

  • The orange realized she was being ridiculous and swam

  • toward the sharp, jagged edge of the pool in order

  • to climb out.

  • But then, suddenly, the edge of the pool moved!

  • Then it moved again!

  • A giant whirlpool formed at the center of the pool!

  • The unfortunate swimmers who were still in the water

  • began getting sucked down, down into the abyss below!

  • As the orange was carried around and around by the current,

  • she looked up and saw what looked like gigantic

  • teeth above her!

  • Moments before she was sucked underneath, she realized

  • why the pool was named the way it was,

  • there wasn't a shark Living in the pool,

  • a gigantic shark was the pool! (laughs)

  • They'd all been swimming inside a shark's open mouth

  • this entire time, and now the shark was closing

  • its jaws around them!

  • And with that, the pool became enveloped in darkness,

  • and one final sound echoed far and wide.

  • (air whooshing) (dramatic music)

  • Gulp!

  • - That was a good one!

  • It really had some teeth. (laughs)

  • (Midget Apple and Pear grunting)

  • - Hey, where's Sis?

  • - Oh, she had to go receive a fax machine message.

  • - A fax?

  • Nobody's sent one of those in, like, 20 years.

  • - Well, you know how long it can take a fax

  • to come through sometimes, I mean it's like.

  • (vocalizing) (grunting)

  • Then the paper gets jammed, you know know it is.

  • - That's true.

  • - Well, I gotta go, just remember, if you want to ever hear

  • another one of my creepypastas, all you must do in order

  • to summon me, is say the magic word, "Creepypasta."

  • - Clever. (laughs)

  • - It is clever!

  • Goodbye. (air whooshes)

  • - So lemme get this straight Creepypasta, every time

  • someone says the word creepypasta you have to appear

  • and tell a creepypasta?

  • - Yes, that is correct. (laughs)

  • - Good to know, Creepypasta.

  • I'll be sure to say Creepypasta the next time I wanna hear

  • a creepypasta. (laughs)

  • - Okay, but please stop saying it.

  • - Stop saying what, Creepypasta? (laughs)

  • - I'm already here.

  • - Creepypasta! - I want to go home!

  • - Don't say it.

  • - I'm gonna say it!

  • - Don't.

  • - But I wanna.

  • - Orange, you know the moment you say it, he's gonna

  • pop out of the shadows or something!

  • So don't say it!

  • - Don't say what?

  • - The word creepypasta, 'cause the moment we say it-

  • - Did someone say creepypasta? (laughs)

  • (all screaming)

  • Oh, it pleases me that you wish to hear another

  • of my world-famous creepypastas.

  • - We actually don't, we just said-

  • - My latest creation is entitled "Spider Cap." (laughs)

  • - Oh, cool!

  • Is Spider-Man in it?

  • - Is Captain America in it??

  • - I'm afraid we couldn't afford them, but there is a hat.

  • You like hats, don't you?

  • - I guess.

  • - Of course, you do.

  • Now then, we will then. (laughs)

  • Once upon a time, there was a young pear

  • who was obsessed with fashion.

  • When he heard about a new hat shop in town,

  • Speederman's Hat Shoppe, read the sign out front,

  • the pear could tell it was a fancy establishment

  • because of all the extra letters in the word shoppe.

  • Excited, he rushed inside and was greeted with shelves

  • and shelves of every type of hat he could possibly imagine,

  • and even some he couldn't.

  • Across the store, the purveyor of the shop, Mr. Speederman,

  • spied the young pear perusing the Rare Hats section.

  • Mr. Speederman asked the young pear if he was interested

  • in seeing the most expensive hat in the store.

  • Intrigued, the pear's eyes widened as Mr. Speederman

  • produced a beautiful black and red box,

  • with what appeared to be air holes punched in the top.

  • The pear was perplexed, but his hesitance quickly turned

  • to excitement as the shopkeeper explained that the hat

  • within was all the rage in Paris and Milan.

  • The young Pear could not wait to try on the hat within,

  • until the lid was opened and he saw what was inside,

  • a gigantic, living, breathing spider!

  • Now, the young Pear was beyond confused,

  • this spider was a hat?

  • Mr. Speederman explained that yes, the Spider Cap

  • was the most cutting-edge hatwear money could buy.

  • The pear looked around the store to find a number

  • of particularly fashionable patrons wearing

  • Spider Caps, as well.

  • Fearing he might miss out on a smashing new trend,

  • the young pear quickly handed over the considerable sum,

  • signed a contract of some sort, then proudly placed

  • his brand new Spider Cap upon his head,

  • at which point it plunged its fangs deep

  • into the pear's head!

  • The shopkeeper assured the pear that this was all perfectly

  • normal, this way, the Spider Cap wouldn't blow away

  • in the wind.

  • The pear looked around, and sure enough, the other Spider

  • Caps were secured to their owners' heads the same way.

  • Soon, Pear began to feel strange, he felt a slight itch

  • on his back, and so he scratched it, and at that moment,

  • he realized he was scratching his own back!

  • This, of course, was surprising

  • to him because he had no limbs.

  • He rushed to a mirror only to discover that he had sprouted

  • a long, hairy spider leg out of his body!

  • Then another!

  • And another!

  • As Pear gazed into the mirror, he saw that he no longer

  • had two eyes, he was growing additional eyes by the second!

  • He again asked the shopkeeper if this was typical.

  • The shopkeeper replied yes, everything happening

  • to the young pear was covered in the contract he had signed.

  • The young pear opened his mouth to reply, but his tongue

  • was gone, it had become mandibles!

  • Pear darted for the door, trying to escape,

  • but the shopkeeper was too fast!

  • Mr. Speederman quickly and expertly trapped

  • the young pear, or should I say, the young spider,

  • inside a familiar-looking red and black box

  • with airholes punched in the lid.

  • Outside the box, he could hear voices.

  • A new customer had just walked into the shop and was asking

  • to purchase a new Spider Cap.

  • (Orange and Midget Apple screaming)

  • - Well, that was a good one, Creepy Pasta.

  • - Yeah, you should definitely

  • post it to the World Wide Web! (laughs)

  • (Creepy Pasta grunts)

  • - That story really freaked me out.

  • Just the thought of turning into a spider and-

  • Wait, where's Pear?

  • - Who cares?

  • He was boring anyway.

  • - That's true.

  • (laughing evilly)

  • Seventeen bottles of pop on the wall

  • Seventeen bottles of pop

  • Take one down pass it around

  • Oh no!

  • I just lost count, where was I?

  • - I dunno, dude, I've been trying to zone

  • you out for 20 minutes.

  • - Oh well, I'll just start over.

  • Nine hundred ninety-nine bottles of pop on the wall

  • Nine hundred ninety-nine bottles

  • (Midget Apple grunts)

  • - Seriously, where are our friends?

  • They've been gone way too long!

  • - Maybe it's just a normal length of time

  • and it just seems long to someone your size. (laughs)

  • (Midget Apple grunts)

  • - Hey, Creepypasta!

  • (air whooshing) (eerie music)

  • - You rang? (laughs)

  • - Ever since you started telling us stories

  • around this campfire, our friends have been disappearing.

  • What's going on?

  • - Yeah, where's Grapefruit?

  • Where's my sister?

  • And where's my best friend?

  • - [Pear] I'm not your best friend!

  • - See?

  • Pear's talking from inside a fire or something.

  • That's not normal, and we want answers now!

  • - All right, all right, you caught me, my newest creepypasta

  • will explain everything.

  • - What?

  • Just tell us!

  • - It's entitled "Ronald McDonaldface."

  • - Ooh!

  • Let's hear him out, Little Apple.

  • This one sounds really good, and I'm not

  • clownin' around.(laughs)

  • Oh, it's good alright.

  • I believe the two of you will love it to death.

  • (laughs evilly) (thunder crashes)

  • - Now then, once upon a time, there were two friends,

  • a young orange and a young, outrageously-tiny apple.

  • - Not necessary, dude!

  • - One day the two friends learned that McDonald's

  • was planning to offer some healthier options on its menu,

  • orange juice with its breakfasts and apple slices

  • with its Happy Meals.

  • This, of course, worried them slightly, as they were both

  • now on the menu, so to speak, but they decided

  • to have fun with it.

  • The two friends started pranking each other by placing

  • pictures of Ronald McDonald's face in surprising locations

  • for the other to find.

  • Inside the refrigerator, under the toilet lid,

  • on the ceiling above the other's bed.

  • The prank, which they called "Ronald McDonaldface,"

  • was all in good fun, at first.

  • Because after the diminutive apple got Ronald McDonaldface'd

  • by a picture taped to the bottom of a table.

  • - Wait, wait, wait.

  • I think you mean top of a table.

  • - No, I mean bottom.

  • I'm telling you, this apple was very short.

  • (Orange laughs)

  • (Midget Apple grunts)

  • Offended that the table prank, had cashed

  • in on his shortness, the apple decided to escalate

  • the prank war.

  • Soon, the friends were hiding wall-sized pictures

  • of Ronald McDonald's face.

  • Any window they opened, any closet door, any light switch

  • they flipped was liable to terrify the living

  • heck out of them.

  • The two friends began to live in fear, terrified

  • that the next Ronald McDonaldface might be just around

  • any corner, behind any door.

  • They even began to dream about Ronald McDonaldface.

  • After weeks of sleepless nights, they called a truce,

  • but that didn't stop the Ronald McDonaldfaces.

  • Still they appeared, at home, at work, at school!

  • In the bathroom!

  • In the night!

  • The Ronald McDonaldfaces were bigger and scarier,

  • and more surprising than ever before!

  • And what's more, Ronald McDonald's expression

  • was growing more sinister with each and every appearance.

  • His eyes began glowing red.

  • And he began to wield knives with astonishing frequency.

  • The orange and the apple both swore

  • they were honoring the truce, which could only mean one

  • thing, the newer, scarier Ronald McDonaldfaces

  • were appearing all by themselves!

  • Just as they came to the horrifying realization,

  • a gigantic Ronald McDonaldface burst through the wall

  • and swung a knife down upon them!

  • Instantly, the two friends awoke in their beds,

  • having just had the exact same nightmare.

  • They were relieved to find no knife marks on their bodies.

  • It seemed they were safe from Ronald McDonaldface,

  • at least for now.

  • That is, until one day McDonald's announced a new menu item.

  • This was a hamburger, but it was no ordinary burger.

  • You see, this burger had some very curious ingredients

  • included in it, ingredients you'd never think

  • belonged in a burger.

  • That's right, on top of the patty, and lettuce,

  • and special sauce, this burger contained-

  • - Pasta.

  • - What?

  • No, the ingredients were-

  • - Pasta!

  • - What are you talking about?

  • Who would ever put pasta on a burger?

  • - I dunno, you said the secret ingredient was weird.

  • And what's weirder than pasta on a burger?

  • - Well, I suppose that's true, but-

  • - So pasta was on the burger.

  • And then Ronald McDonaldface

  • burst in and ate the burger. - No! (screams)

  • - The end! (laughs)

  • - Oh, hey friends, where have you been?

  • - You wouldn't believe us if we told

  • you, but it was Chattanooga, Tennessee.

  • - Where's Creepy Pasta?

  • I'd like to have a few words with that guy.

  • - [Creepy Pasta] Don't worry, I'm with you always.

  • (laughs evilly)

  • (Creepy Pasta coughing)

  • - Okay, so that may have been a mistake,

  • not only because it's too dark, but also because Orange

  • is inevitably gonna say the line.

  • - Hey, who turned out the lights? (laughs)

  • (all exclaiming)

  • - Oh no!

  • - Okay, found my flashlight.

  • It's all gonna be okay, just gotta switch it on, and-

  • (all screaming)

  • (upbeat music)

(eerie music)

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