How are you?

I am good.

Now, obviously.

You see, I'm in a vehicle.

Yes, I see this.

Now let me lay this out for our viewers.

We were supposed to do a very professional zoom interview.

I've been doing them with everybody on then.

Suddenly I have the scam expert on the show, and I hear Oh, there's a problem with the zoom.

She doesn't have WiFi.

And the next thing I know, about half a hour later, you're in your car.

This feels like a scam.

This feels like a scam to me.

Honestly, it is, Conan, you know, my office is my car.

This is where I dio businesses.

This, um so suspicious.

If I sort of God, if I didn't know any better, I would say, Oh, you're you're somehow grifting me right now.

That's what's happening.

It's a little bit.

I mean cold.

I told you you could come to my office if we weren't social distancing and you'd be right here in the passenger seat.

That's where that's where I do my paperwork.

When I first heard about your podcast, I thought that you would be, I don't know, making fun of people that scam or putting them down?

That is not the case.

You have great respect for people who scam.

You think it's an art, don't you?

I dio your these air con artist.

You know I love robbery.

I love fraud.

I just don't want to see people get hurt.

So if you're scamming a big bad guy or, you know, evil corporations and I'm, like, totally on your side.

But if you're hurting people, I'm not into that.

Like what you like to be clear is you like the good kind of fraud, the good kind of felony, the good kind of corrupt deception.

That's the kind you like.

Yes.

And believe it or not, there is a good kind.

I mean, our government is running so many scams on us.

What is a parking ticket?

You put your car somewhere and then some hustlers from the government take it away and make you pay to get it back.

It's a ski.

Yeah.

So you think all anytime you're car gets towed, You think that's a scam?

Yes, it is robbery.

And I've been told 12 times.

And that is not an exaggeration.

You know what I think?

There's a e.

Think there's a 50% chance you will get towed during this interview.

We will see them first, put a boot on your car, and then you're going to get jacked up and you're gonna be taken out.

Right?

And you're just gonna keep you in the interview?

I will.

The car will be moving, but I will continue to do.

The car will be moving backwards, and then you'll end the interview at an impound lot.

So, you know, until you brought it up, I didn't think about it, But it is a perfect scam.

They put a ticket on your car because they say what?

They're gonna clean the street.

Um, and then they take the car.

Then you have to go and pay to get a car that you already own back.

Yes.

So it begins with the street cleaning.

You think the street cleaning the scam it is.

I've seen street.

Okay, so I encourage people, especially in Los Angeles, during cove it when they stopped giving tickets for street cleaning like, look outside.

Is your street much dirtier?

Is it?

I don't think so.

I've seen street cleaners give tickets after the street cleaners already passed and clean the street.

I'm like, No, that's not right.

Right?

They gotta make that money.

It's all a scam.

Now.

You see, scams because of this is a passion of yours.

You see them everywhere, right?

You see, scams everywhere.

You see scams when you go to church, I'm told.

Yes, I go to a scam church, Uh, that I love very much.

Like, for example, like there definitely has been, like, a sermon where our pastor will come out.

I will not say his name because child e don't want trouble, but they'll come out and I'll be like, Hello, congregation.

I need you all to pre order my book in his name A man.

And, you know, I pre ordered the book.

Um I also send my tides via text and Venmo, and they remind me, uh, yeah, so there's, you know, there is a V i P section.

Wait.

You have a V i p section in your church?

Yes.

Is it much?

Is it much nicer?

Is it like a sports box at a stadium where you get to have free hot dogs and stuff?

What's so great about the V?

I p section.

Well, one, It's in the front, and it's a pretty big church.

Um, it's not.

The seats are quite different.

They just have, like, a little velvet rope to keep, you know, the Normie.

Jesus folks out.

Um, right now, I do not sit in V i p at church, but it is a goal of mine.

Okay, So basically, yeah, it doesn't feel like that's what Christ was all about was let the people that are paying the most come to the front that that doesn't quite seem like that was the message.

You know, Jesus was turning water into wine, so I would say that's bottle service.

You're right.

He probably did have a bunch of scams going.

Now that you think about it, you know, this guy's he was dead, but now he's alive.

Lazarus.

Really?

Okay.

We have to look into that.

A lot of questions we have for Jesus, and then he skips down.