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I hate taking showers.
I really dio I feel like when I take a shower, it's an accomplishment and it deserves to be recognized as such.
And the award goes to a Khanna.
Oh, my God.
Thank you so much.
E wanna thank I wanna think myself for having the strength to shower.
You know, once every week I want to thank my best friends, of course, who congratulate me every time that I dio, um I want to thank my hair for really, really persevering in the face of meeting half of the bottle of condition art.
Thank you.
All the music coming on.
Okay.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Way quarantine hasn't exactly been encouraging in this regard.
Actually, the only thing that saved my sanity has been driving to remote locations and just screaming into the abyss.
CNN just reported that Rana could limit a man's semen even after he's recovered.
That is devastating.
E digress.
What I'm here to talk about today are bids for connection.
So I first heard this term from John Gottman, who is most known for his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.
A bid for connection is a small thing.
It could be verbal or non verbal that someone does to connect.
Think of it as an emotional call.
How often the call is answered or not makes up the healthiness and the happiness of their relationship.
This is the 100th time you called me today, and you've picked up 100 times.
Yea by she loves me.
So, according to Gottman, the one factor that makes for a successful relationship is that couples pay attention to each other.
This is a very simple factor, but life often gets in the way, right?
Sometimes we take people for granted.
We look at our phones when they're talking to us.
We hear them side, but we don't want to delve into what's weighing on their minds.
They want pets, but we really want to get our work done.
The easiest way to improve your relationships is to pay attention during life's everyday moments.
Bids are short and small and simple, but they're frequent.
Gottman reported that during a 10 minute dinner, we can make over 100 bids and meeting them.
More often than not, it's crucial, and Gottman would know he can predict, with 94% accuracy which couples will stay together or end in divorce.
Everyone look under your seats.
You get a relationship, you'll get a relationship.
You get a divorce, Theo.
Now there's three ways to respond to a bid, and only one of them furthers connection.
Say that the person who is putting out a bid is simply asking you something.
Like, what's the WiFi password?
Mm, it's Mm hmm.
Hm.
What's the WiFi password?
What do you want to know?
What the WiFi password is?
Why wouldn't I want to connect the WiFi?
I don't want to use up all my data.
Yeah, okay.
It's pretty pretty city in a very boxy but thanks.
Showing up for these moments day today is something I definitely wanna be more conscious of.
Moving forward, not just partners, but friends, family, my cats.
Because I know I could get hella distracted.
And I know what it feels like to really want to connect with someone and be ignored or worse.
Met with some kind of aggressive resistance.
Speaking of connection, thank you to Nord VPN for sponsoring today's video.
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Who?
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