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  • I hate taking showers.

  • I really dio I feel like when I take a shower, it's an accomplishment and it deserves to be recognized as such.

  • And the award goes to a Khanna.

  • Oh, my God.

  • Thank you so much.

  • E wanna thank I wanna think myself for having the strength to shower.

  • You know, once every week I want to thank my best friends, of course, who congratulate me every time that I dio, um I want to thank my hair for really, really persevering in the face of meeting half of the bottle of condition art.

  • Thank you.

  • All the music coming on.

  • Okay.

  • Thank you so much.

  • Thank you.

  • Way quarantine hasn't exactly been encouraging in this regard.

  • Actually, the only thing that saved my sanity has been driving to remote locations and just screaming into the abyss.

  • CNN just reported that Rana could limit a man's semen even after he's recovered.

  • That is devastating.

  • E digress.

  • What I'm here to talk about today are bids for connection.

  • So I first heard this term from John Gottman, who is most known for his book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.

  • A bid for connection is a small thing.

  • It could be verbal or non verbal that someone does to connect.

  • Think of it as an emotional call.

  • How often the call is answered or not makes up the healthiness and the happiness of their relationship.

  • This is the 100th time you called me today, and you've picked up 100 times.

  • Yea by she loves me.

  • So, according to Gottman, the one factor that makes for a successful relationship is that couples pay attention to each other.

  • This is a very simple factor, but life often gets in the way, right?

  • Sometimes we take people for granted.

  • We look at our phones when they're talking to us.

  • We hear them side, but we don't want to delve into what's weighing on their minds.

  • They want pets, but we really want to get our work done.

  • The easiest way to improve your relationships is to pay attention during life's everyday moments.

  • Bids are short and small and simple, but they're frequent.

  • Gottman reported that during a 10 minute dinner, we can make over 100 bids and meeting them.

  • More often than not, it's crucial, and Gottman would know he can predict, with 94% accuracy which couples will stay together or end in divorce.

  • Everyone look under your seats.

  • You get a relationship, you'll get a relationship.

  • You get a divorce, Theo.

  • Now there's three ways to respond to a bid, and only one of them furthers connection.

  • Say that the person who is putting out a bid is simply asking you something.

  • Like, what's the WiFi password?

  • Mm, it's Mm hmm.

  • Hm.

  • What's the WiFi password?

  • What do you want to know?

  • What the WiFi password is?

  • Why wouldn't I want to connect the WiFi?

  • I don't want to use up all my data.

  • Yeah, okay.

  • It's pretty pretty city in a very boxy but thanks.

  • Showing up for these moments day today is something I definitely wanna be more conscious of.

  • Moving forward, not just partners, but friends, family, my cats.

  • Because I know I could get hella distracted.

  • And I know what it feels like to really want to connect with someone and be ignored or worse.

  • Met with some kind of aggressive resistance.

  • Speaking of connection, thank you to Nord VPN for sponsoring today's video.

  • I'm a frequent user of VPNs, especially when I'm working in other countries and I can't access Netflix.

  • Who?

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  • Impressed.

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I hate taking showers.

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