Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles [ Crowd cheers ] -3...2...1. [ Imitates buzzer ] That's it! Good game, pal. I won. I don't know who you are, but it was fun playing against you. -You didn't win. I won. -What? -No, you didn't. Look at the score. -Stop the count. -We did stop the count, and I won. -Keep counting. -I don't need to. Look at the scoreboard. -We're demanding a recount, folks. Can you can believe this? I'm being totally cheated. Everyone agrees. I'm in the process of suing PlayStation right now. -What, uh -- President Trump? -Fake news! -Oh, come on, just admit you lost so we can all move on. Besides, don't you have more important things to do to be playing video games? -I could ask you the same thing. -It's time for the show. I gotta go. -Hey, Dad, can I play? -Get out of there, Eric! -I'm Don Jr. [ Cheers and applause ] -From Rockefeller Center, in the heart of New York City, it's "The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon." Tonight, join Jimmy and his guests -- Chance the Rapper, Erin Andrews, musical guests G Herbo and Chance the Rapper -- and featuring the legendary Roots crew. And now here he is -- JimmyFallon! -Do it! [ Cheers and applause ] Whoo! Hey! Thank you! Hello, and welcome! Thank you very much. Please. That is so nice. Oh, my goodness! Oh, that's what I'm talking about! Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. Wow. What a crowd. You're not gonna believe this, but the White House just told me we got a million people in here tonight. Amazing, amazing. [ Cheers and applause ] Amazing. Well, let's get to the news and jokes. Well, guys, as the pandemic gets worse, President Trump is making it even tougher for President-Elect Biden to deal with the crisis. Apparently, he's still not letting his coronavirus task force talk to Biden's. I'm really shocked by this, 'cause, up until now, Trump's handling of the pandemic has been flawless. [ Laughter ] Seriously, why is it so hard for Trump? He's been passing off COVID responsibilities for eight months. Why stop now? [ Laughter ] I'm not surprised the transition of power is taking so long. Every time Mike Pence hears the word "transition," he runs and hides under the bed. [ Laughter ] "Mother, put on 'David and Goliath.'" [ Laughter ] Not sure any of this matters. Trump's task force probably wrote like one memo that says, "We think you get it from licking stuff." [ Laughter ] Honestly, do we even want Trump's task force training Biden's? That's like getting legal advice from Rudy Giuliani. [ Laughter ] "I'd like to represent myself." [ Laughter ] But here's some good news. After last week's announcement from Pfizer that their vaccine is more than 90% effective, another company, Moderna, has made an announcement of their own. Watch this. -This morning, breaking news on the coronavirus vaccine. Moderna announcing its vaccine could be up to 94.5% effective. -That's an amazing achievement. Scientists are like, "We've harnessed the power of mRNA," while Americans are like, "Does it come in grape flavor?" [ Laughter ] "Can I get it in the gummy shape like Fred Flintstone?" [ Laughter ] I had to read that joke as Brian Regan, 'cause it felt like -- it sounded like Brian would have nailed that, so that was for you, Brian. [ As Brian Regan ] A gummy like -- like, Fred Flintstone type of gummy. Bet I could do that. [ Laughter ] [ Normal voice ] Meanwhile, this weekend in Washington, Trump supporters gathered to protest the election. And Trump even drove by on his way to the golf course. Take a look. -Mr. Trump saluted a rally from his motorcade as thousands of Trump supporters claimed election fraud. -Yeah, nothing says "Thanks for your support" like barreling through the crowd on your way to a golf course. [ Laughter ] If you read his lips, I think he's saying, "They wasted a Saturday for this? Could have gone golfing." [ Laughter ] Can we show it again? Just him going by his followers? -Mr. Trump saluted a rally from his motorcade... [ Laughter ] -Yeah, man. And this was cute. Trump's car -- I don't know if you saw it -- even had a bunch of tin cans hanging off the back and a sign that said, "Just Lost the Election." I don't know. [ Laughter and applause ] But Trump was overwhelmed by the support. And he was like, "I love you guys. You're doing the white thing. I mean, the right thing." [ Laughter ] Well, if it's not clear by now, Trump still isn't ready to move on from the election. But yesterday, for the first time, it seemed like he was admitting that Biden won. Trump tweeted, "He won because the election was rigged." Yep, that might be as close to a concession speech as we're gonna get, folks. But it was short-lived, because he went on to say, "I concede nothing," and, "I won the election." [ Laughter ] Trump won't give up, while the rest of us are like, "Dude, we've moved on to Netflix shows about chess. We -- We don't care. We don't care, dude." [ Cheers and applause ] Even though Trump's lawsuits keep getting tossed out, it's clear the president is not planning to concede anytime soon. So you know what? We thought we'd do it for him and give us the concession speech that we all deserve. Take a look. [ "America the Beautiful" plays ] -My fellow Americans, a short time ago, Joe Biden beat me in the election. And not only did he win, he won by a lot, actually. Therefore, it is time for me to step aside. Because, let's face it, I wasn't probably on my game, and I wasn't doing so well. And you know, I'm the only President in history to lose the popular vote twice and to get impeached. It's time for a change. The greatest dream in the world is that Joe Biden wins, because the winner of this vote was decided by a fair and open election. Therefore, I humbly concede to Joe Biden. The American people have responded. And they have said to me, "You're fired. Bing. Get out." [ Cheers and applause ] -[ Laughing ] Wow. [ Laughter ] Speaking of the election, The Gap says sales of their pants have nearly doubled since the election week, and they think it has something to do with Steve Kornacki. [ Laughter ] Watch this. After many news outlets reported that Kornacki's signature khakis come from The Gap, the company reported it saw a dramatic increase in online traffic and a more than 90% sales increase on khaki pants. [ Laughter ] -Wow. Right now, Anna Wintour is like, "Why did I choose Harry Styles for the cover of 'Vogue'?!" [ Laughter ] "Kornacki!" [ Laughter ] "I told you -- Kornacki!" [ Laughter ] Today, middle-aged white guys were like, "Is this the line for the PS5s or the Kornacki khakis?" [ Laughter ] Republicans don't know how to feel right now. They lost the White House, but khakis are back. [ Laughter ] It's actually really impressive, because if there's one thing Americans haven't been buying during the pandemic, it's pants. [ Laughter ] Some more business news. Costco is now offering its members a new service. Listen to this. -There's a new membership option at Costco. Private jet company Wheels Up has partnered with the retailer to offer 12-month memberships for its service, starting at the low, low price of $17,500. -As if someone is gonna be shopping like, "Okay, I got the whole chicken, I got a box of Go-Gurt, uh, toilet paper, and, oh, I almost forgot, I need that, uh, jet membership." [ Laughter ] [ Chuckles ] Can I try reading it as Brian Regan again? [ Laughter ] [ As Brian Regan ] Let's see, I got the whole chicken, got a box of Go-Gurt, I got the toilet paper. Uh, almost forgot, I need that jet membership! [ Normal voice ] Nah, that's not it. [ Applause ] It's not working as good. This is cool, though. Since it's Costco, they come around midflight and offer everyone a 10-gallon drum of peanuts. I thought that was good. Hey, guys, Thanksgiving is next week, And I saw that Baskin-Robbins has brought back its turkey ice cream cake. Take a look. There it is. Because all kids were like, "If only our favorite treat looked more like a dead bird carcass. Unh!" [ Laughter ] What is that? It looks like they spray-painted Thor's helmet. [ Laughter ] Not to be outdone, Cinnabon just started selling its frosting by the pint. Look at this. Wow. That's right, it's all the fun of eating Cinnabon with double the depression. It's perfect for anyone looking to Flex Seal their arteries. [ Laughter ] Actually, this is great. Now I have something to baste the Baskin-Robbins turkey with. [ Laughter ] Here's a crazy story from overseas. A school in France had to ask parents to stop throwing their kids over the 6-foot gate when they showed up late for school. Check out the sign that they actually had to hang up. [ Laughter ] Yeah, it's dangerous. Apparently, while landing on the other side, some kids broke their wine bottle. [ French accent ] Now what will I pair with my Lunchables? [ Laughter ] [ Normal voice ] Meanwhile, the parents are already one step ahead. Now they're taking stale baguettes and making their kids pole-vault over the fence. [ Laughter ] [ Chuckling ] And finally, a scuba diver off the coast of Egypt just set an amazing new record. Take a look at this. -An Egyptian scuba diver has broken a new world record. He spent 145 hours, or almost six whole days, underwater. -Wow. Yeah. Yeah, he came up, learned it was still 2020, and went back down. Well, guys, here's some fun news. Last night, we won a People's Choice Award! Yes! [ Cheers and applause ] We won for Nighttime Talk Show of 2020. It's so cool. I just want to thank the People's Choice Awards. And thank you to everyone who voted for us. This award is always special because it comes from you, the people. We try to put on the best show we can for you guys every night, and it's a real honor to be awarded. So thank you so much again for that. [ Cheers and applause ] It's cool. I'll pass it around. Everyone gets it for a weekend, yeah. -Okay, cool. Cool. -Guys, it's Monday. We're excited to be back. We have a great week of shows coming up. Sarah Paulson will be here. [ Cheers and applause ] Dan Levy will be here. [ Cheers and applause ] Michael J. Fox will be on the show. [ Cheers and applause ] And we got music performances from Julia Michaels and Dierks Bentley! [ Cheers and applause ] Big week. And be sure to tune in Wednesday night. Oh, yeah. -[ Laughs ] -Something cool is going down. Something never before attempted. -Oh! We're having a pajama party here in the studio. That's right. [ Cheers and applause ] See? People like it. A "Tonight Show P'Jimmy Jammy Jam." More on that as the week progresses. [ Laughter ] -P'Jimmy Jammy Jam? -It's a P'Jimmy Jammy Jam. -So, what, a pajama party has never attempted? -Never been attempted. -Wow. Awesome. -Not on "The Tonight Show." -We can wear -- -Not on television, even. -Oh, ok-- Well... -This is unprecedented. -Okay. -What you're about to do, Wednesday -- I mean, I would -- -Wait, what I'm about to do? [ Laughter ] -Oh, yeah, yeah, we're in this together, man. We're a team. -We have to wear p'Jimmies? -You "got to" or you "get to"? [ Laughter ] You "get to" wear p-Jimmies. -Okay. -On Wednesday night, and you get to just jam down, dude. And party down. This is gonna be a par-tay. You see what I'm saying? No. -No, no. -Yeah, yeah. -Okay. -Yeah. -Okay. -You won't even believe -- When you see -- You know what you should do? You should just get a hotel in the city. Because there's no way you're gonna want to go back home. Gonna just want to stay up all night, rent movies, and just hang out with your friends. Who do you got? We have Julia Michaels Wednesday. -Right. -That's all we know so far. -That's it. -So we can dance -- She has a song we can dance to. -In our pajamas? -In our pajamas, yeah. -Okay. -Yep. She will not be wearing pajamas. -Oh. -But we will. -Okay. -Well, I mean, you can't -- it's our party. -Okay. -See what I'm saying? -Will the audience in attendance be wearing pajamas? -That's a great question. They will, actually. -Ah. -The audience will. [ Cheers and applause ] They want it. People need this now. Everyone's living their whole days in pajamas. -Yeah, that's -- I -- -Wait till you see what it is. Again, I can't give any more information than I have already have. I already said too much. -Okay. -But yet not enough.
B1 laughter applause trump election kornacki regan Trump Admits Biden Won the Election, Yet Still Claims Fraud | The Tonight Show 6 2 林宜悉 posted on 2020/11/17 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary