REG, HOW WAS SEDONA?

>> IT WAS REALLY COOL.

FAIRLY AMAZING, BEAUTIFUL.

JUST INSANE GEOGRAPHY.

IT'S INCREDIBLE.

>> James: WHEN YOU GOT THERE, WERE YOU, LIKE, AH, I COMPLETELY

UNDERSTAND WHY THEY NAMED A CAR AFTER THIS PLACE.

( LAUGHTER ) BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I IMAGINE.

AH, YEAH, IT'S A MID-SIZE, I GET IT, A RENTAL AT THE AIRPORT.

>> Reggie: YEAH.

IT WAS LIKE THE FIRST PROBABLY AMONG THE FIRST THINGS THAT I

THOUGHT.

>> Reggie: I THINK THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS TO A LOT OF PEOPLE.

>> Reggie: THAT'S KIND OF WHY I WENT UP THERE, I WAS, LIKE,

DOES IT LIVE UP TO THE NAME?

( LAUGHTER ) LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT HEADLINES.

OVER THE WEEKEND, PRESIDENT TRUMP SEEMED TO ACCIDENTALLY

ADMIT DEFEAT FOR THE FIRST TIME, WHEN HE TWEETED...

"HE WON BECAUSE THE ELECTION WAS RIGGED.ù"

THAT'S RIGHT, TRUMP FINALLY ADMITTED BIDEN WON.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> James: BANG!

BUT I WILL SAY, TRUMP'S HANDLERS WERE

IMMEDIATELY LIKE, "PAY NO ATTENTION, IT WAS JUST A BRIEF

MOMENT OF SANITY."

( LAUGHTER ) TRUMP WON'T EVEN MENTION BIDEN

BY NAME, KIND OF WHEN A TEENAGER TALKS ABOUT THEIR EX

BEST-FRIEND. "WELL I WAS HAVING A GREAT TIME AT THE MALL UNTIL

SHE SHOWED UP."

"WHO?" "HER!"

BUT AFTER HE REALIZED WHAT HE HAD DONE, THE PRESIDENT LATER

TWEETED THIS, IN ALL CAPS...

"I WON THE ELECTION!" I'VE GOT TO SAY, YOU'D THINK

THIS WOULD BE BIGGER NEWS.

( LAUGHTER ) LISTEN, AS THE PARENT OF THREE

YOUNG CHILDREN, I CAN ASSURE YOU, WE'VE STILL GOT LIKE SIX

MORE STAGES OF TANTRUM BEFORE WE FINALLY GET HIM DOWN FOR BED.

( LAUGHTER ) HERE'S THE THING, SCREAMING

SOMETHING DOESN'T MAKE IT TRUE.

IN FACT, IF YOU SAW A FRIEND TWEET IN ALL CAP "MY LIFE IS

GOING GREAT!" YOU'D IMMEDIATELY START TO WORRY.

( LAUGHTER ) BUT HE MAY BE SLOWLY ACCEPTING

HIS FATE BECAUSE, JUST HOURS LATER, TRUMP POSTED A MORE

SUBDUED, LESS SCREAMY VERSION OF THE SAME TWEET, WRITING...

"I WON THE ELECTION!" ( LAUGHTER )

LOOK AT THAT.

WITHOUT THE ALL-CAPS I CAN HARDLY RECOGNIZE THAT AS A TRUMP

TWEET.

( LAUGHTER ) ALTHOUGH HE DID RANDOMLY

CAPITALIZE "ELECTION" TO LET US KNOW HE HASN'T FORGOTTEN HIS

ROOTS.

( LAUGHTER ) YOU CAN REALLY SENSE HOW

DEFLATED TRUMP IS FROM HIS TWEETS.

HE'S HOURS AWAY FROM TWEETING...

(SAD) "WITCH HUNT OR WHATEVER.ù" ( LAUGHTER )

SURE, LOCK HER UP.

DO WHAT YOU WANT.

YOU ALWAYS DO.

( LAUGHTER ) >> JAMES: BUT SOME PEOPLE STILL

DON'T THINK IT'S OVER.

ON SATURDAY, A FEW THOUSAND TRUMP SUPPORTERS GATHERED IN

WASHINGTON D.C. TO PROTEST THE ELECTION RESULTS.

BUT THE WHITE HOUSE PRESS SECRETARY FALSELY CLAIMED ON

TWITTER THAT MORE THAN A MILLION PEOPLE ACTUALLY ATTENDED.

I MEAN, IF THIS IS HOW HIS AIDES DO MATH, THEN IT'S WONDER TRUMP

THINKS HE WON THE ELECTION.

THE PRESS SECRETARY EVEN TWEETED THIS PHOTO TO SUPPORT HER CLAIùu

IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A MILLION PEOPLE, BUT KEEP IN MIND A LOT

OF THOSE GUYS ARE WEARING CAMOUFLAGE.

( LAUGHTER ) IT WAS KNOWN AS "THE MILLION

MAGA MARCH."

WHICH IS BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL NAME, "THE CRAZIES

THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE."

( LAUGHTER ) WHAT KIND OF FLOATS AND GIANT

BALLOONS WOULD YOU SEE AT "THE CRAZIES THANKSGIVING DAY

PARADE?" WHAT WOULD YOU GET THERE?

>> WE'RE TALKING THE CRAZIES THANKSGIVING PARADE?

>> James: YEAH.

WHAT KIND OF FLOATS?

>> James: WHAT SORT OF BALLOONS WOULD YOU SEE?

>> MAYBE A FLOUT OF MY EXWIFE.

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: HANG OPEN.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

>> AT THE CRAZIES THANKSGIVING PARADE?

>> James: YEAH.

THE KIND OF FLOAT WE MAY SEE?

>> James: YEAH.

HOW ABOUT MY EX-WIFE.

>> James: I STILL DON'T GET IT.

( LAUGHTER ) AND I DID THAT THING WHERE I

LAUGHED ALONG.

>> I THINK HE'S SUGGESTING HIS EX-WIFE IS CRAZY.

>> Reggie: SHE'S CRAZY.

NOT ONLY DOES SHE HAVE A COUPLE OF SCREWS LOOSE, SHE

DRIVES ME CRAZY.

( RIM SHOT ) ( LAUGHTER )

>> James: HONESTLY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M MISSING.

( LAUGHTER ) I KNOW I'M IN THE MINORITY.

IAN SAID IT, I BELIEVE IT'S FUNNY, I JUST DON'T GET IT.

DO YOU GET IT, GUILLERMO?

>> I WOULD JUST SUGGEST MOVING ON.

( LAUGHTER ) LOOK, WHETHER IT WAS -- LOOK,

WHETHER IT WAS THOUSANDS OR A MILLION, THE IMPORTANT THING IS

THAT THE WHITE HOUSE IS STILL ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO GATHER IN

LARGE GROUPS WITHOUT MASKS RIGHT NOW.

( LAUGHTER ) IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA,

THE CITY JUST UNVEILED PLANS FOR THE NATION'S FIRST-EVER FLYING

CAR HUB.

HERE'S AN ARTIST'S RENDERING OF WHAT IT WILL LOOK LIKE

SO AN AIRPORT. THEY INVENTED AN AIRPORT.

IT'S BEING CALLED A "VERTIPORT."

AS IN (SERIOUS NEWS ANCHOR) "THERE WAS YET ANOTHER ACCIDENT

TODAY AT THE NATION'S FIRST VERTIPORT..."

( LAUGHTER ) LOOK AT -- BRING THAT UP!

HOW IS THAT A FLYING CAR?

IF YOU HAVE A TWENTY-FOUR-FOOT WINGSPAN, THAT'S NOT A CAR!

GOOD LUCK AT THE CARL'S JUNIOR DRIVE-THRU LANE.

( LAUGHTER ) HERE'S MY DEBIT CARD, SHOULD I

JUST THROW IT TO YOU?

( LAUGHTER ) WOULD YOU DO THIS, GUILLERMO?

YOU WERE TRYING TO SHOW ME THE WINGS DR. .

>> FLIP IN.

>> James: IT DOESENTS LOOK LIKE A CAR.

>> IT LOOKS LIKE A COMB.

>> Reggie: IT'S MADE BY LILLIAN.

IT'S A MULTI-PROPULSION SYSTEM KIND OF GROUND EFFECT VEHICLE.

IT'S HARD.

YOU CAN'T MAKE CARS LOOK LIKE CARS AND FLY.

I'LL SEE YA LATER.

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: THAT'S TOO MUCH!

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: THAT'S TOO MUCH!

( LAUGHTER ) >> James: THAT'S TOO MUCH!

BUT THAT'S MY POINT, THEN, DON'T CALL IT A FLYING CAR.

>> Reggie: I AGREE.

>> James: CALL IT SOMETHING ELSE BECAUSE IF IT'S A FLYING

CAR, I WANT IT TO BE A SEDONA.

( LAUGHTER ) I WANT IT TO BE A SEDONA AND I

WANT IT STUCK IN TRAFFIC.

I DON'T WANT IT TO GO TO A VERTIPORT AND TAKE OFF.

I WANT TO BE ON THE 405 IN TRAFFIC AND BE LIKE, TWO HOURS,

FORGET THAT.

SEE YOU LATER, GUYS!

THAT'S A FLYING CAR.

>> Reggie: I AGREE.

>> James: AND FINALLY, JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS, THE SNACK

COMPANY RITZ IS GIVING AWAY A GIANT TEN

INCH CRACKER MEANT TO BE USED AS AN EDIBLE HOLIDAY CHEESE BOARD.

HERE IT IS HERE. SO NOW YOU CAN BE LIKE, "DO I

WANT AN APPETIZER?

I REALLY SHOULDN'T. BUT I GUESS I CAN HAVE ONE CRACKER."

( LAUGHTER ) I LOVE THAT PEOPLE AREN'T

ALLOWED TO SHARE FOOD BECAUSE OF COVID AND RITZ IS LIKE, "BUT

WHAT IF YOU COULD EAT THE PLATE EVERYONE'S BEEN TOUCHING ALL

NIGHT LONG?!" ( LAUGHTER )

A TEN-INCH CRACKER.

IS IT PRACTICAL?

NO.

BUT IS IT INTERESTING?

ALSO NO.

THE CRACKER ISN'T FOR SALE.

IT'S BEING GIVEN AWAY THROUGH RITZ'S INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT.

WHICH EXPLAINS THIS ODD TWEET FROM TRUMP...

"I WON THE GIANT RITZ CRACKER!" ( LAUGHTER )