I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M YELLING.

我不知道我為什麼要大喊大叫。

WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

IT'S JUST YOU AND ME.

這只是你和我。

I'M STEPHEN COLBERT, YOUR HOST.

我是STEPHEN COLBERT，你的主持人。

MARK, CHRIS, EVIE IS HERE.

MARK, CHRIS, EVIE在這裡。

ALWAYS A LOVELY NIGHT.

總是一個美好的夜晚。

YOU'RE LOOKING LOVELY OVER THERE.

你在那裡看起來很可愛。

>> FOLKS, AS YOU ALWAYS DO -- THAT'S NOT NEWS.

>> 夥計們，你們總是這樣 -- 這不是新聞。

FOLKS, AS MUCH AS IT'S HARD TO CONTEMPLATE, OUR NATION IS IN

夥計們，雖然很難想象，但我們的國家正處於...

THE GRIPS OF A SEEMINGLY ENDLESS PLAGUE, AND HE WON'T LEAVE THE

一個看似無窮無盡的蟲子的爪子，他不會離開的。

WHITE HOUSE.

白宮：

IT'S BEEN 12 DAYS SINCE THE PRESIDENT LOST THE ELECTION

總統輸掉選舉已經12天了。

AND HE CONTINUES TO PURSUE HIS STRONG LEGAL ARGUMENT OF

他繼續堅持他的強有力的法律論點，即：

"BUT I DON'T WANNA!" I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST

"但我不想！"我會讓你知道最新的消息的。

PRESIDENTIAL SELF-PITY PARTY IN MY SADOMASOCHISTIC SEGMENT:

在我的薩多瑪索主義區的總統自憐黨。

>> ONE, TWO, A RECOUNT, A COUP, THREE, FOUR, A CIVIL WAR

>> 一、二、三、四、五、六、七、八、九、十

FIVE, SIX, WE ARE HUGE DICKS!

五，六，我們是大笨蛋！

>> ROAD FROM THE WHITE HOUSE!

>> 從白宮出來的路！

>> Stephen: I THINK "HUGE" IS GENEROUS.

>> Stephen:我覺得 "巨大 "是很正常的。

THE PRESIDENTIAL LEGAL TEAM IS ON A BIT OF A

主席的法律團隊正處於一個小的階段。

LOSING STREAK.

失去了突破。

AFTER DISMISSING THEIR LAST REMAINING FEDERAL LAWSUIT IN

在駁回其最後剩餘的聯邦法律訴訟案之後

MICHIGAN THIS MORNING, THEY ARE ONE TO 29 FOR POST-ELECTION

今早密歇根州，選後票數為1比29。

LITIGATION.

訴訟：

THE PRESIDENT'S JUST FULFILLING THIS CAMPAIGN PROMISE:

主席只是在履行他的競選承諾。

>> WE WILL HAVE SO MUCH LOSING!

>> 我們將有如此多的損失！

IF I GET ELECTED THAT YOU MAY GET BORED WITH LOSING!

如果我當選了，你可能會厭倦失敗！

>> STEPHEN: BUT THE BAD NEWS IS NOT STOPPING TRUMP LAWYER AND

>> 史蒂芬：但壞消息並沒有阻止特朗普律師和。

PHANTOM OF THE SEX SHOP, RUDY GIULIANI.

性愛商店的魅影，魯迪-朱利亞尼。

EARLIER TODAY, GIULIANI HELD ANOTHER PRESS CONFERENCE TO

今天早些時候，朱利亞尼召開了另一場新聞發佈會，以...

SPOUT HIS CONSPIRACY THEORIES.

說出他的陰謀論。

UNFORTUNATELY, IT SEEMS LIKE FOUR SEASONS TOTAL LANDSCAPING

不幸的是，似乎有四個季節的總景觀。

WAS BOOKED, SO THIS EVENT WAS HELD AT THE HEADQUARTERS OF THE

已被預訂，所以這次活動在總部舉行。

REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE.

共和黨全國委員會：

STILL, THE SAME AMOUNT OF MANURE WAS INVOLVED.

仍然，相同數量的糞便被捲入。

EVEN THOUGH THE PENNSYLVANIA SUPREME COURT ALREADY RULED THAT

儘管賓夕法尼亞州最高法院已經裁定：

GOP OBSERVERS HAD APPROPRIATE ACCESS TO THE RECOUNT, RUDY KEPT

共和黨的觀察者有適當的訪問 計數，魯迪保持

COMPLAINING THEY COULDN'T SEE THE COUNTING.

抱怨他們看不到計數。

AND HE CITED THE LEGAL PRECEDENT OF... A JOE PESCI MOVIE FROM THE

他引用了法律上的先例... ...一部喬-佩西的電影。

'90S.

'90S.

>> WE COULD DO, LIKE, A-- DID YOU ALL WATCH "MY COUSIN VINNY"?

>> 我們可以做的，就像，A -- 你都看了 "我的表弟VINNY"？

YOU KNOW THE MOVIE?

你知道那部電影嗎？

IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE LAW MOVIES, BECAUSE HE COMES FROM

這是我最喜歡的一部法律電影，因為他來自於。

BROOKLYN, AND WHEN-- AND WHEN THE NICE LADY SAID SHE SAW AND

布魯克林，當... ... 當這位漂亮的女士說她看到... ...

THEN HE SAYS TO HER "HOW MANY FINGERS DO I GOT UP?"

然後他對她說 "我有多少根手指頭？"

AND SHE SAYS, "THREE."

她說，"三。"

WELL, SHE WAS TOO FAR AWAY TO SEE IT WAS ONLY TWO.

她離得太遠，看不出只有兩個人。

THESE PEOPLE WERE FURTHER AWAY THAN MY COUSIN VINNY WAS FROM

這些人比我的表弟VINNY從更遠的地方來。

THE WITNESS.

證人：

THEY COULDN'T SEE A THING.

他們什麼也看不見。

>> STEPHEN: OKAY, NOW I EVEN FEEL BAD FOR THE WOMEN UP THERE

>> 好吧，現在我都替上面的女人感到難過了。

WITH HIM.

與他。

THEY GOT ALL DRESSED UP, JUST TO HAVE A MAN EXPLAIN ALL THE

他們盛裝打扮，只是為了讓一個男人解釋所有的事情。

DETAILS OF A MOVIE HE LIKES?

他喜歡的電影的細節？

(AS GIULIANI) "SO, SOMETIMES THEY CALL HIM

"所以，有時候他們叫他...

GOLLUM, BUT SOMETIMES THEY CALL HIM SMEAGOL.

GOLLUM，但有時他們叫他SMEAGOL。

HE ACTUALLY REFERS TO HIMSELF AS 'WE' AND 'PRECIOUS.'

他居然稱自己為 "我們 "和 "珍寶"。

ANYWAYS... ANY OF YOU LADIES WANNA HELP ME TUCK IN MY SHIRT?"

無論如何...你們誰願意幫我把襯衫塞進去？"

BY THE WAY, MY FAVORITE LAW MOVIE IS THE ONE WHERE BORAT

順便說一句，我最喜歡的法律電影是在BORAT的那部

TRICKS YOU INTO GOING TO A HOTEL BEDROOM AND...

欺騙你去酒店的臥室和... ...

POUND YOUR PANTS GAVEL.

敲你的褲子GAVEL。

IF IT PLEASE THE COURT, YOUR HONOR, MAY I APPROACH THE

尊敬的法官大人，如果願意的話，請允許我上前一步。

CROTCH?

CROTCH？

AND IT SEEMS LIKE THE PRESS CONFERENCE WAS GETTING A LITTLE

似乎記者招待會變得有點...

HOT, BECAUSE PARTWAY THROUGH HIS PRESENTATION, RUDY SWEAT SO MUCH

熱，因為在他演講的過程中，魯迪流了很多汗。

THAT HIS HAIR DYE STARTED RUNNING DOWN HIS FACE.

他的頭髮的染料開始運行 在他的臉上。

EITHER THAT, OR HE HAD SO MUCH TO DRINK HE WAS SWEATING MERLOT.

要不就是他喝得太多了，喝得滿頭大汗。

JIMMY, DO WE HAVE ANOTHER ANGLE ON THAT?

JIMMY，我們還有其他的角度嗎？

REMIND ME: IS IT A GOOD SIGN WHEN YOUR LAWYER STARTS MELTING?

提醒我：當你的律師開始融化時，這是一個好兆頭嗎？

LOOKS LIKE RUDY GOT A BAD BATCH OF "JUST FOR HENCHMEN."

看起來像魯迪得到了一個壞的批次 "只為鄉巴佬"。

THAT'S NOT JUST HAIR DYE-- IT LOOKS LIKE HIS HAIR IS DYING.

這不僅僅是頭髮染色， 它看起來像他的頭髮正在枯萎。

RUDY DYED HIS HAIR, BUT HIS HEAD IS CHALLENGING THE RESULTS.

RUDY染了頭髮，但他的頭卻在挑戰結果。

EVIDENTLY HE HAD HIS HAIR STYLED AT JIFFY LUBE.

證據顯示他在JIFFY LUBE做了髮型。

NOW, OBVIOUSLY, IT'S EASY TO MAKE FUN OF RUDY HERE, BUT IT'S

現在，很明顯，這很容易取笑魯迪，但它是。

ALSO VERY SATISFYING.

也是非常滿意的。

HERE'S THE THING: RUDY AND THE REST OF THE PRESIDENT'S

事情是這樣的：魯迪和總統的其他人

ATTORNEYS DO NOT SPECIALIZE IN ELECTION LAW.

律師不擅長選舉法。

BUT THEY INSIST THEY'RE THE RIGHT PEOPLE FOR THE CON JOB.

但他們堅持認為他們是合適的人，適合CON工作。

>> THIS IS AN ELITE STRIKE FORCE TEAM THAT IS WORKING ON BEHALF

>> 這是一個精英打擊力量團隊，正在工作的代表。

THE PRESIDENT AND THE CAMPAIGN TO MAKE SURE THAT OUR

主席和確保我們的國家安全的競選活動。

CONSTITUTION IS PROTECTED.

憲法受到保護。

>> STEPHEN: YES, AN ELITE STRIKE FORCE: SEAL TEAM SUCKS.

>> 是的，一個精英部隊： 海豹突擊隊吮吸。

A FEW PEOPLE IN THE ADMINISTRATION MUST HAVE SEEN

行政部門中的一些人肯定已經看到了。

THE WRITING ON THE WALL THOUGH, BECAUSE ADVISERS HAVE

牆上的字跡，因為顧問們有

STARTED TALKING TO THE PRESIDENT ABOUT WHAT THE END LOOKS LIKE,

開始和總統談起最後的結局。

USING THE WORD "CONCLUSION" RATHER THAN "CONCESSION."

使用 "結論 "一詞，而不是 "結論"。

THEY'RE TALKING TO HIM LIKE HE'S A THREE-YEAR-OLD.

他們跟他說話就像他是一個三歲的孩子。

"MR. PRESIDENT, YOU DIDN'T LOSE, YOUR CAMPAIGN JUST WENT DOWN THE

"主席先生，你沒有輸，你的競選活動只是失敗了。

BIG BOY POTTY."

大男孩的鍋。"

THEY'RE ALSO USING PHRASES LIKE "GOING INTO RETIREMENT," INSTEAD

他們也在使用類似 "進入退休 "這樣的句式。

OF "GOING TO JAIL."

"進監獄"。

BUT THEY'RE NOT PUTTING MUCH EFFORT INTO IT.

但他們並沒有投入太多的精力在這上面。

HERE'S THE PRESIDENT'S CHIEF OF STAFF YESTERDAY, RESPONDING TO A

以下是總統辦公廳主任昨天在回答一個問題時的發言：

REPORTER'S QUESTION ABOUT VOTER FRAUD:

記者提問關於選民舞弊的問題。

>> YOU SAID YOU'VE SEEN SPECIFIC VOTER FRAUD EXAMPLES-- WHAT ARE

>> 你說你已經看到了特定的選民欺詐的例子--是什麼？

THOSE EXACTLY?

就是這些？

>> IT WOULD BE TOO LONG TO GET INTO AND LITIGATE IT HERE.

>> 在這裡進行訴訟太長了。

>> STEPHEN: (AS MEADOWS) "I HAVE TONS OF SPECIFICS.

>> "我有很多規格。

I LEFT THEM WITH MY CANADIAN GIRLFRIEND.

我把它們留給了我的加拿大女友。

LET ME JUST TEXT MY HER.

讓我給她發短信吧

UH-OH, MY DOG ATE MY CANADA."

呃，哦，我的狗吃了我的加拿大。"

SO THE END MAY BE IN SIGHT, WHICH IS GOOD, OBVIOUSLY, BUT

所以結局可能就在眼前，這很好，很明顯，但是...

ALSO, IT'S KIND OF SAD.

另外，這是一種悲哀。

BECAUSE THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD IN YEARS.

因為這是我這幾年來玩得最開心的一次。

FOR TEN DAYS, WE'VE BEEN ABLE TO WATCH THE PRESIDENT LOSE OVER

十天來，我們一直在看著總統輸掉了比賽。

AND OVER AGAIN.

再來一次。

LOSE THE ELECTION, LOSE THE RECOUNT, LOSE THE LAWSUITS!

輸掉選舉，輸掉計票，輸掉訴訟！

IT'S LIKE CHANUKAH: WE THOUGHT THERE WAS ONLY ENOUGH STUPID TO

就像CHANUKAH：我們以為只有愚蠢的人才能做到。

LAST FOR ONE DAY, BUT MIRACULOUSLY, IT JUST KEEPS

持續一天，但神奇的是，它只是保持。

GOING.

去。

ALSO, I'M JUST POUNDING DOWN FRIED POTATOES WITH APPLE SAUCE.

另外，我只是在搗鼓 炸洋芋與蘋果醬。

ONE PERSON WHO'S NOT ENJOYING THE ATTEMPTED COUP IS HEAD OF

有一個人並不喜歡這種嘗試性的組合，他就是 "中國 "的負責人。

THE GENERAL SERVICES ADMINISTRATION AND WOMAN WHO IS

總務廳和婦女事務局的報告

EITHER 14 OR 40, EMILY MURPHY.

不管是14還是40，埃米莉-墨菲...

MURPHY HAS RECEIVED A LOT OF CRITICISM FOR NOT RELEASING

墨菲因為沒有發行《大話西遊》而受到了很多的責備。

FUNDS FOR THE INCOMING BIDEN ADMINISTRATION TO BEGIN THEIR

供即將上任的比登行政當局開始其工作的資金。

TRANSITION.

過渡：

WHICH APPARENTLY HAS BEEN ROUGH ON... HER?

這顯然是粗糙的... ...她？

ACCORDING TO HER FRIENDS, SHE IS STRUGGLING WITH THE WEIGHT OF

據她的朋友們說，她正在與體重作鬥爭。

THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION BEING DROPPED ON HER SHOULDERS,

總統選舉被丟在她的肩上。

FEELING LIKE SHE'S BEEN PUT IN A NO-WIN SITUATION.

感覺她被置於一個不可能贏的境地。

SHE'S RIGHT, IT IS A NO-WIN SITUATION.

她是對的，這是一個雙贏的局面。

BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO A SECOND TERM, HER BOSS NO WIN.

因為一旦到了第二任期，她的老闆就不會贏。

SINCE THE ELECTION, MURPHY HASN'T MADE ANY PUBLIC

自從選舉之後，墨菲就沒有發表過任何公開的言論。

APPEARANCES, AND EVERYBODY'S BEEN WAITING FOR HER TO MAKE A

亮相，和每個人都在等待她做一個

STATEMENT.

聲明：

AND SHE FINALLY DID LAST NIGHT, WHEN SHE TWEETED:

而她昨晚終於做到了，當她發微信時。

"DCCCF REX ZZZ @#Z@SMANN ANANN."

"DCCCF REX與@#Z@SMANN ANANN。"

HOPE I'M PRONOUNCING THAT CORRECTLY.

希望我的發音正確。

EITHER THAT'S AN ACCIDENTAL TWEET, OR SHE'S TRYING TO CALL

無論是一個偶然的微博， 或者她試圖調用

FORTH SOME SORT OF LOVECRAFTIAN CREATURE FROM ANOTHER

從另一個人那裡得到一些愛的魔法師的作品

DIMENSION.

外形尺寸：

(AS MURPHY) "FROM THE DEPTHS OF D'CCCF REX,

"來自D'CCCF REX的深處

I CALL FORTH TO THEE, AT-SMANNANAN, SEPARATOR OF

我向你，亞特-斯曼南，分離者，呼喚你

DARKNESS FROM LIGHT, REND ASUNDER THE THIN VEIL OF REALITY

光的黑暗，撕開現實的薄紗。

AND SEND FORTH C'THULU!

併發送C'THULU！

AND C'VFEFE!" HOPE I DIDN'T DO THAT TOO

和C'VFEFE！"希望我沒有做的太多。

POWERFULLY.

強大的。

I DON'T WANT TO SUMMON ANOTHER WORLDLY DEMON.

我不想再召喚另一個世界性的惡魔。

ONE THING THE PRESIDENT HAS NOT BEEN DOING IS... ANYTHING.

主席沒有做的一件事是... ...任何事情。

BUT HE HAS DECIDED TO CONTINUE ONE LONG-RUNNING TRADITION:

但他決定繼續一個長期的傳統。

HE WILL PARDON THE ANNUAL THANKSGIVING TURKEY AT THE

他將赦免每年的感恩節火雞事件。

WHITE HOUSE ON TUESDAY.

週二的白宮。

GIVEN ALL THE COVID OUTBREAKS AT THE WHITE HOUSE, THE TURKEY

鑑於白宮的所有視頻輸出，土耳其人的。

MAY WANT TO OPT OUT OF THE WHOLE CEREMONY.

可能想退出整個儀式。

(AS TURKEY) "THANKS, BUT I'LL TAKE MY

（作為土耳其）"謝謝，但我會採取我的。

CHANCES WITH THE HATCHET."

機會與斧頭。"

(GOBBLES) THE PRESIDENT ISN'T THE ONLY

主席並不是唯一的一個人

DISEASE VECTOR GETTING READY FOR THANKSGIVING.

疾病的VECTOR準備感恩節。

THE PANDEMIC IS THREATENING TO TURN THE HOLIDAY INTO A

PANDEMIC有可能把假期變成一個節日。

SUPER-SPREADER EVENT.

超級播種機事件。

AND I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON ALL THE DEPRESSING DETAILS IN MY VIRAL

我將會在我的視頻中告訴你所有令人沮喪的細節。

SEGMENT: CATCH A THIRD WAVE: ENDLESS

環節：捕捉第三波：無止境。

BUMMER!

BUMMER！

>> SEASON'S GREETINGS!

>> 季節性的問候!

>> Stephen: WHERE'S MY SPRITE?

>> Stephen:我的熱情在哪裡？

OR MY SPRAY BOTTLE.

或者我的噴壺。

YESTERDAY, WE CROSSED A HORRIBLE THRESHOLD

昨天，我們越過了一個可怕的懸崖。

IN THE EPIDEMIC.

在疫情中。

BECAUSE THE CORONAVIRUS HAS NOW KILLED A QUARTER OF A MILLION

因為冠狀病毒已經殺死了四分之一的百萬人

PEOPLE IN THE U.S., AND AT THE CURRENT RATE, THE DISEASE IS

在美國，按照目前的速度，這種疾病的發病率為0。

KILLING AT LEAST ONE AMERICAN EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY.

每分鐘至少殺一個美國人。

UNLIKE IN THE SPRING, WHEN THINGS WERE BAD, RIGHT NOW

不像在春天，當事情是壞的，現在，

THINGS ARE BAD EVERYWHERE.

到處都是壞事。

AS OF YESTERDAY, 47 STATES HAD AT LEAST 10% MORE NEW DAILY

截至昨天，47個州的每日新增人數至少增加10%。

CASES.

案例：

IN FACT, ONLY HAWAII HAS SEEN AT LEAST A 10% DECREASE IN

事實上，只有夏威夷州至少減少了10%。

NEW CASES.

新案例：

MAKES SENSE.

有道理。

IN HAWAII, "ALOHA" MEANS BOTH "HELLO" AND "PUT ON YOUR (BLEEP)

在夏威夷，"ALOHA "是指 "你好 "和 "穿上你的（BLEEP）"。

MASK."

MASK。"

THERE ARE SO MANY NEW CASES THAT THE "NEW YORK TIMES" HAD TO

有這麼多的新案例，"紐約時報 "不得不。

UPDATE HOW THEY DO COVID MAPS.

更新他們如何提供地圖。

YESTERDAY THEY EXPLAINED, "THE OUTBREAK HAS BECOME SO BAD IN

明天，他們解釋說："爆發已經變得如此糟糕，在。

PARTS OF THE COUNTRY THAT OUR OLD SCALE NO LONGER SHOWED ANY

我們的舊秤不再顯示任何國家的部分地區。

VARIATION N SEVERITY, EVERYTHING WAS JUST SOLID RED."

變化N嚴重，一切都只是固體紅色。"

SO, HERE'S HOW THEY CHANGED IT.

所以，這裡是他們如何改變它。

(AS OFFICIAL) "AS YOU CAN SEE, MINNESOTA IS A

(官方) "如你所見，明尼蘇達州是一個。

DEEP AUBERGINE, WHILE NEBRASKA IS A SOOTHING BURGUNDY, AND MY

深琥珀色，而內布拉斯加則是柔和的勃艮第，而我的。

PANTS ARE HOLDING STEADY AT A CODE BROWN."

褲子保持穩定在CODE BROWN。"

THERE ARE SO MANY CASES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY THAT TODAY, THE

全國各地都有很多案件，今天

C.D.C. RECOMMENDED AGAINST ALL TRAVEL FOR THANKSGIVING.

C.D.C.建議不要在感恩節期間進行任何旅行。

BUT IF YOU'RE GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY, THEY'VE ISSUED SOME TIPS

但如果你還是要做，他們已經發布了一些提示。

ON DOING IT SAFELY, LIKE: "ENCOURAGE GUESTS TO AVOID

在安全的情況下，比如："鼓勵客人避免使用"。

SHOUTING."

喊。"

HOW IS THAT GOING TO WORK?

這怎麼能行呢？

AT THANKSGIVINGS, SHOUTING IS A SIDE DISH.

在感恩節的時候，大喊大叫是一道副菜。

(TIMID, POLITE) "UNCLE RANDY?

(TIMID, POLITE) "UNCLE RANDY?

I'D LIKE TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO USE YOUR INSIDE VOICE WHEN YOU SHARE

我想鼓勵你在分享時，發揮你內心的聲音。

YOUR FEELINGS THAT GEORGE SOROS IS PUSHING THE GAY AGENDA WITH

你對喬治-索羅斯推動同志議程的感受？

SUGAR-FREE GUM?" BUT THE C.D.C.'S MOST DRASTIC

無糖口香糖？"但中紀委的最嚴厲的

SUGGESTION IS TO ENCOURAGE GUESTS TO AVOID SINGING.

建議鼓勵客人不要唱歌。

WELL, COME ON!

好了，來吧！

ARE YOU SAYING FAMILIES WON'T BE ABLE TO SING ALL THOSE

你是說，家庭不會有能力唱所有這些。

BELOVED THANKSGIVING CAROLS?

喜愛的感恩節頌歌？

WELL, LUCKILY, YOU CAN STILL ENJOY THEM ALL, WITH THIS

好了，幸運的是，你可以繼續享受這些，與此。

SEASON'S HOTTEST HOLIDAY ALBUM: >> THE PANDEMIC MAY HAVE

本季最熱的假日專輯：>> The PANDEMIC MAY HAVE------。

CANCELED YOUR TURKEY DAY SING ALONG BUT YOU CAN STILL LISTEN

取消了你的火雞節歌曲，但你還可以聽。

TO THE SWEET SOUNDS OF THE THANKSGIVING CAROLS YOU LOVE IN

獻給你所愛的感恩節頌歌的甜美聲音。

ONE NEW ALBUM CALLED I AM JAMS.

一張新的專輯叫I AM JAMS。

ENJOY ALL THE HOLLY GOBBLEY HITS!

欣賞所有的霍利-葛布利的歌曲!

♪ HAVE YOURSELF ANOTHER SPOON OF GRAVY ♪

"再來一勺牛肉吧

♪ LET YOUR HEART JUST DIE ♪ ♪ .

"讓你的心死去吧

>> AND WHO CAN FORGET -- ♪

>> 誰能忘記 --

♪ ♪ ROCKIN' AROUND THE CASTLE

"圍繞著城堡搖滾

ROLL ♪ ♪ IT'S A GREEN BEAN HAPPY TIME ♪

滾 滾 這是一個綠色的豆子 快樂的時候

>> AND EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE ♪ ♪ CRANBERRY SAUCE CRANBERRY

>> 還有大家最愛的 "紅莓醬""紅莓

SAUCE CRANBERRY SAUCE CRANBERRY SAUCE ♪

CRANBERRY SAUCE CRANBERRY SAUCE

>> WE EVEN INCLUDED -- ♪ RANDY THE RED NOSED UNCLE ♪

>> 我們甚至包括 - - 蘭迪的紅鼻子叔叔

♪ HE'S HAD WAY TOO MUCH TO DRINK ♪

他喝多了，喝多了

♪ WE'LL NEVER LET POOR RANDY EVER HOLD HIS BABY NIECE ♪

我們將永遠不會讓可憐的蘭迪永遠抱著他的寶貝NIECE的

>> AND THEN THIS CLASSIC.

>> 然後這個經典。

♪ JIGGLE FAT JIGGLE FAT ♪ ♪ I HAVE GAINED SOME WEIGHT ♪

嘰嘰喳喳的脂肪嘰嘰喳喳的脂肪 並已獲得了一些重量的

>> AND FOR OUR JEWISH FRIENDS.

>> 以及我們的猶太朋友：

♪ STUFFING STUFFING STUFFING ♪ ♪ STUFFING I WOULD EAT ♪

# 東西 東西 東西 我想吃的東西

♪ STUFFING STUFFING STUFFING, IT KIND OF TASTES LIKE FEET ♪

STUFFING STUFFING STUFFING，它有點像腳的味道

>> SEASONS EATINGS, EVERYBODY!

>> 季節性飲食，各位!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

感恩節快樂。

>> THAT'S WHAT I CALL I AM JAMS.

>> 這就是我所說的我是賈姆斯。

ORDER NOW!

立即訂購!

>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

>> 今晚我們將為您帶來一場精彩的演出。

LL COOL J IS HERE, AND LATER A PERFORMANCE BY FOO FIGHTERS.

LL COOL J在這裡，後來FOO FIGHTERS的表演。

BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, "MEANWHILE!"!

但是，當我們回來的時候，"meanWHILE！"

JOIN US.

加入我們。

♪ ♪

♪ ♪