Welcome to a late show.

I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.

It has been five days since it became clear that Joe Biden won the election, at which point the current president refused to concede.

Duct taped himself to the Resolute desk and slapped a sign in the Oval Office door that says No Dem is allowed.

He's like a toddler, too, hopped up on sugar to go to bed.

There's no reasoning with him at this point.

You just have to let him tire himself out.

Wait till he falls asleep on the kitchen floor and hope he hasn't conspired with the dog to stage a coup.

I'll give you the latest in my over in 70 days segment to data to Booth Road from the White House.

Well, buckle up, buddy boys, because getting this guy out of office is gonna be a bumpy ride.

Yesterday, the administration removes senior defense officials and installed loyalists triggering alarm at the Pentagon, And I'm being told we have footage of that alarm I e.

Would.

Presidents don't usually sack top defense officials when they're planning to leave office in a couple of months, one defense official put it.

This way.

This is scary.

It's very unsettling.

These air Dictator moves, yes, but they have inspired an exciting new Maroon five remix locks, Darling.

That's not dictate ary enough for you.

Dear Leader was unhappy with these officials, in part because they resisted the president's entreaties to make available military weaponry, including tanks and jets for Trump orchestrated holiday displays.

Oh yeah, because it's not the Thanksgiving Day parade until you see Santa writing his Christmas nuke.

So it's a little concerning.

But you know who's not worried.

President elect and founder of the separate Binary in Fight Club, Joe Biden.

Biden was asked about what affect the president's tantrums were having on the incoming administration.

He said this Well, um, I just think it's an embarrassment, quite frankly, the only thing that how can I say this tactfully?

I think it will not help the president's legacy nicely played.

But at this point, what could hurt his legacy?

It's like finding out Jeffrey Dahmer's illegally parked in handicap spots bad, but the ledgers pretty full and so is the freezer, Biden continued.

I'm confident that the fact that they're not willing to acknowledge we want at this point is not of much consequence in our planning and what we're able to do between now and January 20th.

You know what?

It feels really good that ignoring the president is now so presidential.

Biden's advisors don't seem too concerned, though viewing the G.

O.

P s legal and PR efforts as a comedy of errors.

Yes, it's just like Shakespeare.

The president's fraud claims are much ado about nothing because he's pulling these accusations of fraud right out of his Coriolanus.

Of course, members of the losing campaign claim there's plenty of evidence.

Take White House press secretary and winter sorceress spreading frost on flowers.

Kayleigh McEnany.

McEnany was on the Fox News last night, socially distancing from reality, and she provided this ironclad case.

We keep hearing the drumbeat of Where is the evidence right here.

Sean.

234 pages of sworn affidavits.

He's a real people real allegation signed with notaries.

These air riel and anyone who cares about transparency and the integrity of the system should want this to pursue to the discovery phase.

Well, you never said that they were printed on paper.

In that case, I think I found even more proof right in the form of these affidavits that only look like Thai food menus.

And, oh, look at this exhibit exhibit to it's labeled everything.

Exhibit two.

Voter fraud.

Enjoy.

Enjoy the goal.

It won't won't roll off my finger.

Okay, there's a reason the White House has had such a hard time finding fraud.

Some states have incredible standards for election transparency, like Vermont, where officials have already published complete presidential results for every single town we're talking.

Burlington STO.

Montpellier, Roxbury, Extra Sharp, Roxbury, Ben Jerry's Cranberry Candle and the People's Collective of West Ham, Pancho Town.

And what's extra fun is they can also see the full list of all 1942 write in votes for president, a big chunk of which went to Senator Bernie Sanders with 619 votes, or 6190.17% of the total.

That puts me in the top 17% of the bottom 1% right where I wanna be.

And I promise this impersonation is not going anywhere.

Unlike the impressions of other losing presidential candidates, feel the Bern, BH everything that was going on me to losing it.

I'm losing it tonight other celebs receiving write in votes include Dwayne Johnson, Joe Pesci, Kiefer Sutherland, Tea Leoni, Chiana Reeves, Betty White, Wu Tang Clan, Melissa McCarthy, Jon Stewart spelled with an h.

So not that Jon Stewart, just some guy named Jon Stewart and Oprah Winfrey, who, because she got six votes, is now legally the comptroller of Brattleboro.

It's time to issue municipal boots.

How do I do?

I do.

I do.

This is kind of kind of bordering on Kermit Guy.

I'm Oprah.

There are also some brave attempts to spell the names of actual politicians, including Toughly Gabbert, Mike him, Huckabee, The Ticket of Cacic and Bud Take Gig, former governor a skid.

Guam's Meg Er and toward sandwich.

Okay, come on.

Unbelievable.

It's not that hard to spell Lindsey Graham, but the one actual write in candidate who may be taking the loss the hardest is H.

P.

Lovecraft, prehuman God of madness, Cath Alu.

This is a devastating loss for Cathal O.

Since the election, the great dreamer has been hunkered down in the underwater city of really a weighing his legal options.

McConnell believes it is 100% within the rights of this earthly manifestation of eldritch horror to look into allegations of voting irregularities.

What's the downside of humoring him for this little bit of time beyond our concept of time?

No one seriously thinks he'll rise from the boiling seas to spread his tentacles and melt men's minds with visions of non Euclidean geometry.

Except for his close ally of hollow, say gray festering blob of infinite malevolence, also known as Bill Bar.

The news coming out of the administration right now is pretty scary, but it helps that some of it is also deeply stupid, like this story about Republican activist and vice principal who called you in to ask you if your mom got his flowers.

Dean Browning Browning has been very vocal in his support of the outgoing president.

On Sunday, he tweeted what Trump built in four years.

Biden will destroy in four months.

Whoa, Dean, there's no way it will take only four months for Biden to disassemble his chicken bucket.

Fort.

I know so far the story seems pretty ordinary, but here's where it gets weird.

After Browning posted that tweet, a Twitter user pushed back, saying that the president had Onley taken credit for Obama's accomplishments to which Browning responded, I am a black gay guy, and I can personally say that Obama did nothing for me.

My life Onley changed a little bit, and it was for the worst.

Well, it certainly did Change for the worse you turned into some pasty, straight white guy named Dean Browning reminds me the famous Lincoln Douglas debate.

When Lincoln made a great point in favor of abolition on, Douglas replied, I'm a black gay guy, and I can personally say that slavery rules.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go do black gay guy stuff.

Here's what people think happened.

Browning is likely the owner of another Twitter account, one claiming to be a gay black man who loves Trump, and he simply forgot to log into it before posting the reply.

Yes, he was trying to do something merely deceptive, but instead did something incredibly idiotic.

Ah, move, known in political circles as the full Rudy End of story, right?

Wrong, because my friends here is where the weird get strange.

Hours after his gay black man tweet Browning posted regarding the tweet that is going viral from my account, I was quoting a message that I received earlier this week from a follower.

Sorry, if context was not clear if context was unclear, you didn't even put it in quotes.

The only thing that could have made it less clear would be if you had signed it.

Dean Browning straight white woman.

So did Dean make a mistake?

Or did he tweet a random, unattributed quote?

We'll never know, except we might, because here's where the strange weirdness gets odd.

After Browning tweeted about his explanation, a reporter stumbled onto what he believed was the fake account the dean was trying to post from tweeting.

You know who replies to Dean Browning a lot.

Dan Purdy, a gay black Trump supporter who joined Twitter in October with links to Purdy's Twitter account, showing his avatar of a cart tune, Black Man in a Beanie.

Okay, case closed, then reopened because here's where the odd strange weirdness gets fishy.

After the reporter scoop the Dan purty Twitter account posted this video.

Hey guys, my name is Dan purty, and I am indeed a gay black man.

Well, my name is Stephen Colbert, and I am here for this.

The message that you saw in Dean's Twitter was posted.

I don't actually know how it was posted, but I did send it to him.

No, I'm not a bott.

I hope you understand.

No, I don't understand if you're confused to strap them if you got him.

Because here is where the fishy, strange, weird oddness gets bizarre.

After purty posted that video, reporters pointed out that purty looks exactly like a man named William Holt, otherwise known as Bill with a Y Holt, otherwise known as the adopted son and nephew off music legend Patti Labelle.

Oh, why did you say so?

If I had known that from the beginning, it wouldn't have helped at all.

Well, do you have anything to clear this up?

Patti Labelle.

Yeah, that clears that up.

We got a great show for you tonight, my guests or the Crown's Olivia Colman and Gillian Anderson.