WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW."

歡迎來到 "深夜秀"。

I'M YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT.

我是你的主播，史蒂芬-科爾伯特。

AND, FOLKS, I AM STILL RIDING A NATURAL HIGH OFF OF LAST NIGHT'S

而且，夥計們，我仍然騎著一個自然的高從昨晚的。

INTERVIEW WITH BARACK OBAMA.

採訪巴拉克-奧巴馬。

IT WAS SUBSTANTIVE, SILLY, AND SOMEBODY BROUGHT THE ROCK TO THE

這是很簡單的，狡猾的，和一些人打破了岩石的

RIM.

RIM：

DOESN'T MATTER WHO HAD THE LIQUID GRACE OF A MID-'90s

誰擁有90年代中期的優雅氣質並不重要。

JORDAN.

喬丹：

THE IMPORTANT THING-- AND THIS IS TRUE-- THAT WAS

最重要的事情 -- 這是真實的 -- 這是

20 MINUTES OF INTERVIEW.

20分鐘的採訪。

WE TALKED FOR 100 MINUTES.

我們談了100分鐘。

THERE IS 80 MINUTES OF INTERVIEW JUST AS GOOD AS THAT, 35 MINUTES

有80分鐘的採訪一樣好，35分鐘。

OF WHICH WE WILL BE SHOWING ON ON'RE ON MONDAY?

其中我們將在週一播放的是什麼？

ON MONDAY, FOR OUR EXCLUSIVE SPECIAL:

週一，我們的獨家特價。

ON MONDAY, FOR OUR EXCLUSIVE SPECIAL:

週一，我們的獨家特價。

THE OTHER 45 MINUTES WE'RE GOING TO HAVE ETCHED ONTO A GOLDEN

剩下的45分鐘，我們將被刻在金字塔上。

DISK, WHICH THEN WILL BE SHOT INTO SPACE SO FUTURE

碟片，然後將被髮射到太空，所以未來

CIVILIZATIONS WILL KNOW WHEN TELEVISION PEAKED OR PUT IT OUT

文明將知道電視何時達到頂峰或熄滅。

ON LIKE 45 TIKTOKS.

就像45個TIKTOKS。

BUT THAT WAS LAST NIGHT.

但那是昨晚。

AND, TODAY, THE PRESIDENT STILL REFUSES TO CONCEDE, THE

而且，今天，主席仍然拒絕讓步。

PRESIDENT-ELECT HAS BEGUN HIS TRANSITION, AND PEOPLE ARE BEING

候任總統已經開始了他的過渡，而人們也正在接受他。

ASKED TO CURTAIL THEIR THANKSGIVING PLANS BECAUSE THE

被要求延後他們的感恩節計劃，因為他們的感恩節計劃。

PANDEMIC CONTINUES TO RAGE.

PANDEMIC繼續憤怒。

SO I'M NOT GOING TO GET SHIEPY OBJECTS OUT THERE.

所以，我不會得到SHIEPY對象在那裡。

I'M GOING TO STAY FOCUSED ON THE STORY-- A WEIRD MONOLITH WAS

我將繼續專注於故事 -- 一個奇怪的單片機是。

FOUND IN THE UTAH DESERT.

在猶他州沙漠發現的。

OOH, SHINY!

哦，閃亮！

WHAT COULD IT MEAN?

這意味著什麼？

IS IT ALIENS MAKING FIRST CONTACT?

是外星人第一次接觸嗎？

IS IT A SITE-SPECIFIC ART INSTALLATION THAT EXAMINES THE

這是一個現場特定的藝術裝置，檢查的是什麼？

DYNAMIC TENSION BETWEEN MAN AND NATURE?

人與自然之間的動態張力？

OR IS IT A REALLY POORLY INSTALLED STAINLESS STEEL

還是一個真正安裝不良的不鏽鋼製品？

BACKSPLASH?

背影？

UTAH IS THE ULTIMATE OPEN-CONCEPT KITCHEN.

猶他州是最完美的開放式概念廚房。

NOW, THERE'S A LOT OF SPECULATION ABOUT THIS MYSTERY

現在，有很多關於這個謎團的猜測。

PLINTH, SO WE'RE GOING TO DIVE IN WITH OUR VERY FIRST

普林斯，所以我們要帶著我們的第一部作品潛入水中。

MONOLITH-THEMED MONOLOGUE, WHICH WE'RE CALLING

單聲道主題的獨白，我們稱之為

♪ ♪ ♪ >> THE MONO-LOGUE

">>《單行本》。

>> Stephen: THAT IS ACTUALLY A LONGER INTRO THAN THE SPECIAL

>> 史蒂芬：這其實是一個比特殊的長的介紹。

WITH OBAMA ON MONDAY.

與奧巴馬週一。

HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED: A CREW FROM THE UTAH DIVISION OF

下面是發生了什麼。猶他州分局的一隊人馬...

WILDLIFE RESOURCES WAS SURVEYING THE AREA, COUNTING BIGHORN SHEEP

野生動物資源部對該地區進行了調查，統計了大角羊的數量。

BY HELICOPTER.

通過直升機。

INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS JOB: YOU HAVE TO FLY THE CHOPPER,

極其危險的工作：你必須駕駛直升機。

COUNT THE SHEEP, AND NOT FALL ASLEEP.

數羊，而不是睡著了。

WE'VE LOST A LOT OF GOOD SHEEP COUNTERS THAT WAY.

我們已經失去了很多好羊的計數器，這樣一來。

THESE PEOPLE IN THE HELICOPTER, THEY NOTICED THE MONOLITH,

直升機上的這些人，他們注意到了單片機。

BECAUSE, ACCORDING TO ONE UTAH WILDLIFE SPOKESMAN, "WE FLY

因為，據一位猶他州的野生動物代言人說，"我們飛了。

PRETTY LOW FOR THESE SURVEYS SO WE CAN IDENTIFY THE GENDER OF

對於這些調查來說，價格太低了，所以我們可以確定性別。

THE SHEEP."

綿羊。"

HANG ON.

等一下

YEAH, OKAY, ALIEN MONOLITH, BUT...

是啊，好吧，外星人單體，但是... ...

YOU CAN TELL A SHEEP'S GENDER FROM A HELICOPTER?

你能從直升機上看出羊的性別？

NOW WE KNOW WHY THEY'RE CALLED "BIG HORN!"

現在我們知道為什麼他們被稱為 "大角 "了!

( LAUGHTER ) AH!

啊！

THE CREW LANDED FOR A CLOSER INSPECTION.

船員們降落後進行了更仔細的檢查。

HERE THEY ARE, DOING THIS FOR SOME REASON.

他們在這裡，這樣做是有原因的。

AND WE HAVE FOOTAGE OF MAN'S FIRST CONTACT WITH THE MONOLITH.

我們還拍到了人類第一次與單體接觸的鏡頭。

>> OKAY, THE INTREPID EXPLORERS GO DOWN TO INVESTIGATE THE ALIEN

>> 好的，頑固的探險家們下山去調查外星人了

LIFE FORM.

生命形態：

( LAUGHS ) >> SO, THEY'VE CUT IT IN.

（笑） >> 所以，他們已經把它切入。

>> THEY'VE CUT IT IN?

>> 他們已經切入？

>> OKAY, WHO DOES THIS KIND OF STUFF?

>> 好吧，誰做這種類型的東西？

( LAUGHS ) >> HOLD ON.

（笑）>>堅持下去。

>> YEAH.

>> 是的。

>> Stephen: WOW.

>> Stephen:WOW。

THAT IS ONE LOW-KEY REACTION TO POTENTIALLY DISCOVERING ALIEN

這是一個低調的反應 潛在的發現外星人

LIFE.

生活。

"HUH, WHAT'S THAT?

"呵呵，那是什麼？

A TRACTOR BEAM PULLING ME UP TO THE BELLY OF THE SHIP?

一根橫樑把我拉到船底？

WHAT IS THAT A PROBE IN YOUR HAND?

你手裡的探針是什麼？

HA, WHAT IS THAT, A TRACTOR BEAM WHO DOES THAT KIND OF STUFF?

哈，那是什麼，誰會做那種事的收割機鋼樑？

GARY, ARE YOU SEEING THIS?

蓋瑞，你看到了嗎？

WHOOPS, MY BONES ARE LIQUID NOW."

糟糕，我的骨頭都是液體了。"

TH THERE ARE NON-ALIEN THEORIES AS

有非外星人理論作為

TO HOW THIS MONOLITH GOT TO A REMOTE REGION OF UTAH'S DESERT

到這個單片機是如何到達猶他州沙漠的偏遠地區的

THAT'S CLOSED OFF TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC.

這是對公眾關閉的。

SOME THINK IT COULD'VE BEEN A ROGUE ARTIST OR A LEFTOVER MOVIE

有人認為這可能是一個羅格藝術家或一部左派電影。

PROP.

PROP.

ACCORDING TO ONE DEPARTMENT OF PUBLIC SAFETY SPOKESMAN, THE

據公共安全部的一位發言人說。

MONOLITH APPEARED TO BE MADE OF STAINLESS STEEL, PUT TOGETHER

單晶石似乎是由不鏽鋼製成，放在一起的。

"WITH HUMAN-MADE RIVETS."

"用人類製造的鉚釘。"

OKAY, BUT RIDDLE ME THIS: WHAT HUMAN REFERS TO THEM AS

好吧，但告訴我這個：什麼人類稱它們為。

"HUMAN-MADE RIVETS?" WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT

"人類製造的鉚釘？"那東西叫什麼名字？

SPOKESMAN, "NICK STREET?" CLEARLY A PANICKED GALACTIC

講話人，"NICK STREET"？明顯是一個挑剔的GALACTIC。

TRAVELER MAKING HIS NAME UP ON THE SPOT!

旅行者當場取名！

( ALIEN VOICE ) "MY NAME IS NICK...

我的名字叫NICK... ...

STREET.

街道：

MY WIFE IS... HONDA...

我的妻子是...本田...

MAILBOX.

郵政信箱：

SHE WEARS HUMAN-MADE SHOES."

SHE WEARS HUMAN-MADE SHOES."

WHAT MAKES THIS EVEN MORE MYSTERIOUS IS THAT AUTHORITIES

更讓人感到神祕的是，權威人士

POINT OUT "THERE ARE ROADS CLOSE BY, BUT TO HAUL THE MATERIALS TO

指出："附近有路，但要把材料運到那裡去。

CUT INTO THE ROCK AND HAUL THE METAL-- WHICH IS TALLER THAN 12

鑿開岩石，然後把金屬拖走，這比12歲還高。

FEET IN SECTIONS-- TO DO ALL THAT IN THAT REMOTE SPOT IS

腳的部分 - 做所有的這一切，在該偏遠的地方是

DEFINITELY INTERESTING."

絕對有趣。"

"INTERESTING"?

"有趣"？

IT'S MORE THAN INTERESTING!

這是很有趣的!

THIS IS THE FIRST 15 MINUTES OF A SCI-FI MOVIE.

這是一部科學電影的前15分鐘。

NEXT, WE'RE GOING TO MEET THE ATTRACTIVE YOUNG GEOLOGIST

接下來，我們要去見見這位迷人的年輕地質學家。

PLAYED BY ZENDAYA, WHO GETS SENT OUT THERE TO STUDY THE MONOLITH

由ZENDAYA扮演，他被派到那裡研究單體。

WITH CURMUDGEONLY PROFESSOR PAUL GIAMATTI AND A RUGGED, DISTANT,

與CURMUDGEONLY教授PAUL GIAMATTI和一個粗糙的，遙遠的。

YET KIND METALLURGIST PLAYED BY CHRIS PINE.

由CHRIS PINE扮演的YET KIND METALLURGIST。

LOOK, I ALREADY-- I ALREADY HAVE HALF OF IT WRITTEN!

看，我已經... ... 我已經寫了一半了！

CALL ME, MONOLITH!

打電話給我，莫諾利特！

BY THE WAY, THE MONOLITH IS PLAYED BY VIN DIESEL.

順便說一下，單片機是由VIN柴油機播放的。

IN POST-ELECTION ELECTION NEWS, REALITY KEEPS MOVING FORWARD.

在選後的選舉新聞中，現實不斷向前發展。

WITH THE ARROW OF TIME.

隨著時間之箭。

YESTERDAY, OFFICIALS IN BOTH PENNSYLVANIA AND NEVADA

明天，賓夕法尼亞州和內華達州的官員們。

CERTIFIED THAT JOE BIDEN WON THEIR STATES.

證明喬-比登贏得了他們的國家。

EVEN THE WHITE HOUSE SEEMS TO BE RECEIVING THE MESSAGE, BECAUSE

甚至白宮似乎也收到了這一資訊，因為：

THEY OFFICIALLY SIGNED OFF ON JOE BIDEN GETTING THE

他們正式簽下了喬-比登的名字。

PRESIDENT'S DAILY BRIEF.

主席的每日簡報：

WELL THAT'S GOING TO BE A NICE CHANGE OF PACE

好吧，這將是一個很好的節奏變化。

FOR THE BRIEFERS TO GIVE A LIST OF NATIONAL SECURITY THREATS TO

請律師提供一份國家安全威脅的清單

A PRESIDENT WHO'S NOT ON IT.

一個不在上面的主席。

BUT IT MIGHT BE TOUGH FOR BIDEN, BECAUSE THE PRESIDENT'S DAILY

但這對比登來說可能會很困難，因為主席的日常工作。

BRIEFING IS OFTEN TAILORED TO THE PRESIDENT CURRENTLY IN

簡報會經常針對目前在任的主席。

OFFICE.

辦公室：

WE ACTUALLY HAVE A COPY OF THE BRIEFING THAT WAS MADE FOR THE

我們實際上已經有了一份為該事件製作的簡報的副本。

CURRENT PRESIDENT: LET'S SEE THIS, JIM.

現任主席：讓我們看看這個，吉姆。

LET'S SEE, THIS ONE MEANS...

讓我們來看看，這一個意味著... ...

GREAT DANE-JER.

偉大的丹傑。

UN-REST IN EYE-RACK.

在眼架上休息。

( LAUGHTER ) YEAH, YEAH.

（笑）是啊，是啊。

IT'S FOR-- IT'S FOR THE PRESIDENT.

這是為了... ... 這是為了總統。

YOU GOT TO PUT THE BOOBS IN, OR HE WON'T PAY ATTENTION.

你得把球放進去，否則他不會注意的。

BUT IT SEEMS LIKE THE PRESIDENT WANTS TO ENJOY ABUSING HIS

但是，看起來總統似乎想享受虐待他的兒子的樂趣。

OFFICE RIGHT UP UNTIL THE BITTER END, BECAUSE THIS AFTERNOON, HE

在辦公室裡，直到最糟糕的結束，因為這個下午，他...

TWEETED, "IT IS MY GREAT HONOR TO ANNOUNCE THAT GENERAL

在微博上說："我非常榮幸地宣佈，祕書長

MICHAEL T. FLYNN HAS BEEN GRANTED A FULL PARDON.

MICHAEL T. FLYNN已被完全赦免。

CONGRATULATIONS TO @GENFLYNN AND HIS WONDERFUL FAMILY.

祝賀@GENFLYNN和他的美好家庭。

I KNOW YOU WILL NOW HAVE A TRULY FANTASTIC THANKSGIVING!"

我知道你現在會有一個真正的夢幻般的感恩節！"

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS, BUT I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

我不能相信這一點，但我想我應該知道。

KIND OF SUSPICIOUS ABOUT YESTERDAY'S TURKEY PARDON.

今天的火雞赦免有點可疑。

BUT THANKSGIVING IS A PERFECT DAY TO PARDON FLYNN.

但感恩節是原諒FLYNN的最佳日子。

AFTER ALL, IT'S ALL ABOUT TURKEY-- THE COUNTRY HE WAS

畢竟，這是關於土耳其--他曾經的國家。

BEING PAID TO REPRESENT SECRETLY WHILE HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE

在本應由他擔任代表的情況下，他卻受僱於祕密代表。

WORKING FOR AMERICA.

為美國工作。

STILL, IT'S IN KEEPING WITH TRADITION WITH THE FIRST

仍然，它與傳統保持一致，與第一次

THANKSGIVING, WHEN THE PILGRIMS AND NATIVE AMERICANS CAME

感恩節，當PILGRIMS和美國土著人來了的時候。

TOGETHER IN HARMONY TO ESTABLISH A SECRET BACK-CHANNEL WITH THE

和諧共進，建立一個祕密的後援管道，與世界各國政府合作。

RUSSIAN AMBASSADOR AND THEN LIE ABOUT IT TO THE F.B.I.

俄國大使，然後對聯邦調查局撒謊。

OR AS THEY CALLED IT, MAIZE.

也就是他們所說的 "麥茲

THE PRESIDENT ISSUED THE PARDON DESPITE THE FACT THAT BACK IN

儘管早在二○○八年，主席就已發出赦免令，但仍有不少人認為他的行為是不恰當的。

2017, HE TWEETED THIS: "I HAD TO FIRE GENERAL FLYNN

2017年，他在微博上寫道："我不得不解僱FLYNN將軍。"我不得不解僱將軍FLYNN：

BECAUSE HE LIED TO THE VICE PRESIDENT AND THE F.B.I.

因為他欺騙了副總統和聯邦調查局。

HE HAS PLED GUILTY TO THOSE LIES."

"他已經對這些謊言認罪了。"

SURE, HE LIED TO THE F.B.I. AND PLEAD GUILTY TO IT, BUT CAN YOU

當然，他向FBI撒謊認罪，但是你能不能

REALLY TRUST THAT CONFESSION?

你真的相信那份懺悔嗎？

THE GUY IS AN ADMITTED LIAR!

這傢伙是一個公認的金光黨！

FLYNN HAD ILLEGAL CONVERSATIONS WITH THE RUSSIANS AND THEN LIED

弗林與俄羅斯人進行非法對話，然後撒謊

TO THE F.B.I. ABOUT THEM.

對FBI來說，他們的事。

TWO WRONGS MAY NOT MAKE A RIGHT, BUT THIS PRESIDENT IS DETERMINED

兩個錯誤可能不構成一個正確的，但這個主席是確定的。

TO FIND OUT HOW MANY DO.

瞭解有多少人這樣做。

SO THE PRESIDENT IS CERTAINLY ACTING LIKE A GUY WHOSE DAYS ARE

所以總統的行為確實像一個人，他的日子是。

NUMBERED, BUT HE HAS NOT CONCEDED.

數，但他還沒有認輸。

I'LL CATCH YOU UP ON THE LATEST DETAILS OF THIS NEVER-CHANGING

我會告訴你這個永遠不變的最新細節。

STORY IN TONIGHT'S: >> GOBBLE, GOBBLE!

故事在今晚的..:>> 咕嚕咕嚕，咕嚕咕嚕！

I SUSPECT FOWL PLAY!

我懷疑是雞的遊戲！

GOBBLE, GOBBLE!

咕嚕，咕嚕！

I'M PRESIDENT, AND THERE'S STUFFING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

我是總統，你也可以做一些事情！

GOBBLE, GOBBLE!" >> "THE ROAD FROM THE WHITE

咕嚕咕嚕，咕嚕咕嚕！">> "從白色的道路

HOUSE!" >> Stephen: TODAY, THE PRESIDENT

房子！">> Stephen:今天，主席

WAS SUPPOSED TO ATTEND THE LATEST FRAUD-FEST STARRING

我本該參加最新的詐騙節，包括

ALLEGED ATTORNEY AND PAGAN PRIEST SUMMONING THE NORSE GOD

被指控的律師和異教祭司召喚NORSE神

OF DENTISTRY, RUDY GIULIANI.

牙科醫生，魯迪-朱利亞尼，

GIULIANI WAS HOLDING AN EVENT WITH PENNSYLVANIA REPUBLICAN

GIULIANI正在與賓夕法尼亞州共和黨人舉行活動。

STATE SENATORS, BUT IT WASN'T AN OFFICIAL SENATE HEARING, BECAUSE

州參議員，但它不是一個官方的參議院聽證會，因為。

THEY WERE HOLDING IT AT A HOTEL, NOT AT THE STATE CAPITOL.

他們是在酒店舉行的，而不是在州政府。

YEAH, IT'S NOT AN OFFICIAL EVENT.

是的，這不是一個官方的事件。

IT WAS MORE OF A FRAUD-FAN CONVENTION.

更多的是詐騙愛好者的聚會。

THAT'S WHY THEY CALLED IT "ELECTION CON-CON."

這就是為什麼他們叫它 "選舉大會"。

THE PRESIDENT EXPRESSED STRONG INTEREST IN JOINING GIULIANI

主席對加入朱利亞尼的行列表示了濃厚的興趣。

FOR THE TRIP, HIS FIRST OUTSIDE OF THE WASHINGTON AREA SINCE

此行，是他自華盛頓地區以來首次出國。

ELECTION DAY-- HIS FIRST, BUT NOT HIS LAST.

選舉日--他的第一次，但不是最後一次。

BUT THIS MORNING, AS EVERYONE WAS GETTING SET TO DEPART FOR

但是今天早上，當大家準備出發的時候。

PENNSYLVANIA, THE WHITE HOUSE ANNOUNCED THAT THE TRIP HAD BEEN

賓夕法尼亞州，白宮宣佈，這次旅行已經結束了

CANCELED, POSSIBLY BECAUSE AT LEAST TWO PEOPLE CLOSE TO

取消，可能是由於至少有兩個人在附近

GIULIANI HAVE CONTRACTED COVID-19.

GIULIANI已與COVID-19簽約。

NOW, NO ONE KNOWS EXACTLY HOW THE STAFFERS GOT THE VIRUS.

現在，沒有人知道究竟是如何的工作人員得到了病毒。

POSSIBLY THEY CAUGHT IT FROM SOMEONE IN THE PRESIDENT'S INNER

有可能是他們從總統內務部的某個人那裡得到的。

CIRCLE.

循環。

OR IT IS POSSIBLE THEY GOT IT BECAUSE IT WAS THE WILL OF THE

或者說，他們之所以能得到它，是因為這是上帝的意志。

MONOLITH!

獨石！

NOW, DESPITE THE POSITIVE TEST, GIULIANI WENT TO PENNSYLVANIA

現在，儘管測試呈陽性，但吉利安尼還是去了賓夕法尼亞。

ANYWAY, AND DURING THE "HEARING," THE PRESIDENT CALLED

無論如何，在 "聽證會 "上，主席召集了......。

JENNA ELLIS, ONE OF THE OTHER LAWYERS, AND SHE HELD HIM UP TO

珍娜-艾利斯，其他律師之一， 她把他綁到了一起。

THE MIC: >> I REALLY APPRECIATE BEING

麥克風：>>我真的很感激被。

ASKED TO SPEAK, AND I'M IN THE OVAL OFFICE RIGHT NOW, AND IT'S

被要求發言，我現在就在VAL辦公室裡，而且它是...

VERY INTERESTING TO SEE WHAT'S GOING ON.

很有興趣看看發生了什麼。

>> Stephen: I'M NOT SAYING THE PRESIDENT HAS GIVEN UP ON THE

>> 斯蒂芬：我並不是說主席已經放棄了。

IDEA OF OVERTURNING THE ELECTION, BUT I WILL POINT OUT

顛覆選舉的想法，但我會指出的

HE IS LITERALLY PHONING IT IN.

他是真的在打電話。

AS I SAID, THIS IS OUR COUNTRY'S FIRST COVID THANKSGIVING, AND

正如我所說，這是我們國家的第一個COVID感恩節，和。

THE EXPERTS ARE URGING US TO MAKE IT OUR SAFEST THANKSGIVING

專家們呼籲我們把它變成最安全的感恩節。

EVER BY NOT GATHERING OR TRAVELING.

永遠不聚集或旅行。

OR AS ONE CALIFORNIA OFFICIAL PUT IT: JUST SAY "NO" TO FAMILY

或者像加州一位官員所說的那樣：對家庭說 "不 "吧。

THANKSGIVING.

感恩節。

"JUST SAY NO"?

"說不"？

I WOULDN'T USE THE ANTI-DRUG SLOGAN.

我不會使用防蟲SLOGAN。

NOW KIDS ARE JUST GOING TO HAVE THANKSGIVING IN SECRET UNDER THE

現在孩子們只能在地下祕密過感恩節了。

BLEACHERS.

BLEACHERS：

THEY'RE GOING TO BE HUFFING STUFFING!

他們將是huffing stuffing！

YOU CAN TELL FROM THE CRANBERRY RING.

你可以從蔓越莓戒指中看出。

ONE HOME WHERE THEY SHOULD BE REALLY CAREFUL THIS HOLIDAY

一個家庭在哪裡應該是非常小心這個節日。

SEASON IS THE WHITE HOUSE.

季節是白宮。

EVER SINCE ELECTION DAY, THE WHITE HOUSE HAS BEEN CIRCULATING

從選舉日開始，白宮就一直在周旋。

TWO THINGS: FAKE CASES OF VOTER FRAUD AND REAL CASES OF

兩件事情：偽造的選民欺詐案和真實的選民欺詐案：

CORONAVIRUS.

CORONAVIRUS：

SO FAR, AT LEAST 45 PEOPLE CONNECTED TO THE WHITE HOUSE

到目前為止，至少有45人與白宮有聯繫。

HAVE CONTRACTED THE VIRUS.

已經感染了病毒。

RECENT CASES INCLUDE MARK MEADOWS, BEN CARSON, COREY

最近的案例包括MARK MEADOWS、BEN CARSON、COREY等。

LEWANDOWSKI, AND DON JR., ALL OF WHOM TESTED POSITIVE AFTER

LEWANDOWSKI，和DON JR，所有的人都測試陽性後，

ATTENDING AN ELECTION-NIGHT WATCH PARTY IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

參加在白宮舉行的選舉夜觀禮晚會。

OBVIOUSLY, THEY ALL SHOULD HAVE WORN A MASK, AND KEPT A SIX-FOOT

很明顯，他們都應該戴上面具，並保持一英尺的距離。

DISTANCE BETWEEN THEIR LIPS AND THE PRESIDENT'S BUTT.

他們的嘴脣和主席的屁股之間的距離：

WELL, THE WHITE HOUSE HAS LEARNED THEIR LESSON FROM THE

白宮已經吸取了他們的教訓。

ELECTION-NIGHT PARTY: HAVE A DIFFERENT KIND OF PARTY,

選舉之夜的派對：舉辦一個不同類型的派對。

BECAUSE THE WHITE HOUSE IS PLANNING HOLIDAY PARTIES INDOORS

因為白宮正在策劃室內的假日派對。

DESPITE THE PANDEMIC.

儘管潘德梅克：

WELL, THEY HAVE TO HAVE THE PARTIES!

好吧，他們必須有聚會！

RUDY'S ALREADY MADE A BATCH OF DELICIOUS HOLIDAY HEAD-NOG!

RUDY'S已經做了一批美味的節日頭奶！

BUT THEY ARE GOING TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS.

但他們要採取預防措施。

FOOD WILL BE "INDIVIDUALLY PLATED BY CHEFS AT

食物將 "由主廚單獨擺放在"。

PLEXIGLASS-PROTECTED FOOD STATIONS," AND "ALL PASSED

受保護的食品站 "和 "全部通過"。

BEVERAGES WILL BE COVERED."

"飲料將被支付。"

SO, THE C.D.C. HAS FINALLY ACHIEVED SIZZLER SALAD BAR AND

所以，C. D. C. 終於實現了 SIZZLER 沙拉吧和。

SIPPY CUP TECHNOLOGY.

SIPPY CUP技術。

BUT NO MATTER HOW MANY PRECAUTIONS THEY TAKE, THERE'S

但無論他們採取多少預防措施，都不會有任何問題。

ALWAYS SOME RISK.

總是有些風險。

SO THE WHITE HOUSE WARNED INVITEES THAT "ATTENDING THE

是以，白宮警告邀請人，"參加"。

PARTIES WILL BE A VERY PERSONAL CHOICE."

黨將是一個非常個人的選擇。"

YES, IT IS AN IMPORTANT PERSONAL CHOICE, REMINDS ME OF THAT

是的，這是一個重要的個人選擇，讓我想起了那件事

ROBERT FROST POEM: "TWO ROADS DIVERGED IN A YELLOW WOOD, AND I

羅伯特-弗羅斯特的詩："兩條路在黃色的樹林裡分叉，而我

TOOK THE ONE WITHOUT COVID.

把一個沒有COVID。

BECAUSE I'M NOT AN IDIOT."

因為我不是一個白痴。"