Do you have to rush back? It's just  that I've been remembering a story  

and I wondered if I could share  it with you if you have a moment?

There wasbeautiful prioress, daughter  to a noble lord, devoted to God. So  

when it came time for her to marry she  requested that her father allow her to  

marry God and she became a nun. She  was so dedicated to her work and kind  

and generous in her nature. It wasn't  long before she became the prioress,  

the nun in charge of the priory home to  many other nuns. Her beauty had always  

attracted men to her side and there were  still three who came to see her to see  

if she's had a change of mind and if she  would fall in love and wish to marry.  

The three men were very different in  nature. Each day she would receive a  

visit from a knight who was elegant,  handsome, brave and dramatic. He would  

talk to her her of his love for her,  tell her stories and sing her songs.  

In truth, he would have stayed with her  all day if she didn't eventually hush  

him with a smile and receive gracefully  the gift that he had brought her. The  

knight would go hunting and bring her  most of his bag, deer and rabbits for  

her and the other nuns to eat. He fed  them very well. Twice a week Pastor  

John would come to visit, a quiet kind  gentle man who said very little. He  

would have stayed all day gazing at  the prioress if she didn't eventually  

coax him into offering his gift and then  usher him out of the room. Pastor John  

would bring her and the other nuns wine  from his extensive cellar. Once a week,  

she would receive a visit from a lusty  merchant who would bang on the door with  

his strong hand before striding into  the room and throwing his great weight  

into a chair. He would talk to her of  his work, of the weather, of travel,  

endlessly. Until eventually, stifling a  yawn, the prioress would marvel at his  

ability to trade which would prompt him  to offer up his gift and then heave his  

girth up and out. The merchant whenever  he visited brought a bag ofgold.

Now, the prioress knew she  shouldn't receive such visitors,  

but the priory and everyone who lived  there benefitted from the gifts. What  

could she do? After some thought a plan  began to form. And when she was ready,  

she waited until the day of the week  when all three men were due to visit.

The first to arrive was the knight,  fresh from his morning hunt and full  

of songs and poems he'd written her  that day. But before he could start  

his rendition, she stopped him and told  him how she'd had a change of heart,  

that she wished to be married and that  if he could prove his bravery to her  

and his commitment, then she would agree  to take his hand. Well this silenced the  

knight and whilst he was lost for words  she explained what she wanted him to do.  

Down in the woods was a little chapel,  rarely used. If he could wrap himself  

in a shroud, a funeral cloth, and lay  out as if dead and stay for the whole  

night without getting scared, then the  next day she would marry him. The knight  

recovered himself and without saying  a word ran home to find a shroud and  

then to the woods to find the chapel.  Later that day, there he was laid out  

in front of the altar, wrapped up and  dreaming of his life with his new wife.

Next to arrive was Pastor John. His  awkwardness irritated the prioress  

that day and before he could creep  across the room and take a seat she  

stopped him and explained how she'd  had a change of heart. But I do have  

a task to ask of you before I can  agree to marry you. My, um, cousin  

has died and can't afford a burial  or his final prayers. Would you,  

could you, go to the woods to the  little chapel, dig him a grave,  

bury him and say his prayers? Pastor  John nodded and headed to the woods  

stopping at home only to gather his  robes, his prayer book and a spade.

And then what of the merchant who  barely waited to be let in that day  

so keen was he to gaze up on his love?  As he began to tell the prioress about  

the warmth of the sun, she stopped him  and explained how she'd had a change  

of heart. But I do have a favour to ask  before I can agree to marry you. There  

is a naughty priest, saying the prayers  and committing a burial to someone who  

hasn't paid for such a thing. Now I  don't want to get into trouble but if  

you could go to the little chapel in the  woods and scare him, frighten him to put  

him off, maybe you could dress up as the  devil to give him a fright! The merchant  

was a little stunned and then began to  smile at the mirth and the fun of it.  

Home he went, to stir up his servants  to make him a costume and it wasn't long  

before he left, dressed in red with a  mask over his face, cloves for feet and  

a tail sticking out of his rear. When he  got to the woods, there by the chapel he  

could see the priest digging the grave.  By the looks of it he'd almost finished.  

He crept into the chapel and stepped  past the poor dead soul who laid out  

in front of the altar. He went to the  back. In the darkness he hid. It wasn't  

long before Pastor John came in having  finished his labours. He put on his  

robes and picked up his prayer book but  as he started there came from the back  

an almighty roar as the figure in red,  surely the devil, was coming towards  

him! Pastor John screamed, threw up his  prayer book and left the chapel. The  

book landed with a thud on the stomach  of the knight who sat up and tried to  

uncover his eyes. The merchant who'd  been chuckling at the priest suddenly  

saw a dead man sit up. He screamed and  left the chapel. The knight who had at  

last managed to uncover his eyes just  saw the devil run out of the chapel.  

Well he couldn't stay here any longer.  He got up and ran out. As he ran up  

the hill he passed a priest who was  puffing and panting and so he headed  

into the woods. Then all of a sudden,  was swept up to the top of a tree. He'd  

got caught in a net and was trapped! And  wriggle and try as he might, he couldn't  

set himself free. Whimpering, he stayed  there for the rest of the night. Pastor  

John, he wasn't used to running. It  wasn't long before he grew too hot and  

he began to take off his robes and his  clothes over his head. And then suddenly  

he was naked. He jumped into a bush to  hide his modesty and stayed there for  

the rest of the night. The Devil had  witnessed the priest run up the hill,  

the dead body go into the forest, so  he leapt over the nearest hedge. As he  

was catching his breath, he suddenly  heard a thudding and a drumming as  

if something large was coming towards  him! It was a bull! And he was dressed  

in red. He got up and he ran. He ran  for his life and leapt over the next  

hedge... straight into a stinking muddy  puddle. Exhausted, he fell asleep and  

spent the night there. And that's  where our men stayed 'til morning.

The next morning the prioress waited  for her visitors. The first to arrive  

was the knight who admitted straight  away that he hadn't completed the task  

she'd set him. Oh dear, she said,  and understand you spent the night  

wimpering in a net up a tree. That's not  very good for your reputation. Perhaps  

we could agree that you continue to send  your gifts to the priory but you promise  

never to come and see me again. The  knight left having made this promise.  

Pastor John she said, as she let him in.  I understand you spent the night naked  

in a bush. What would you parishioners  think of that? Perhaps we could agree  

that you continue to send the wine,  a charitable donation to the priory,  

but you promise never to come and see  me again. Pastor John agreed to this and  

was almost knocked over as he left by  a large angry man who smelt of... well,  

he wouldn't like to say. Ah, said the  prioress, as the merchant stomped up  

the path. He handed over a  bag of gold. Lady Prioress,  

I will continue to send you my gifts  but I will never come and see you  

again. He turned and with that was  gone. And that is how the priory and  

all who lived there continued to  be well-fed, well-stocked in wine  

and gold but the lady prioress  never saw her visitors again.

Now, I must get on with my work  and, um, you lot best be off.

[music playing]