EVERYBODY.

每個人。

LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

讓我們向JON BATISTE問好。

HELLO, JON.

你好，喬恩。

>> Jon: WOOOO!

>> Jon: WOOO!

THAT'S A BAND THERE.

這是一個樂隊在那裡。

>> Stephen: IT IS.

>> Stephen:它是。

I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR YOU, JON.

我有一個重要的問題要問你，喬恩。

DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS DOWN IN GEORGIA?

你在喬治亞有朋友嗎？

>> Jon: YES, I HAVE FRIEND IN GEORGIA, OF COURSE.

>> 喬恩，我有朋友在喬治亞州，當然了。是的，我有朋友在喬治亞州，當然。

FAMILY IN GEORGIA.

在格魯吉亞的家庭。

>> Stephen: DO YOU KNOW IF THEY'RE REGISTERED TO VOTE.

>> Stephen:你知道他們是否有登記投票嗎？

REMEMBER, THE DEADLINE TO REGISTER TO VOTE IN THE RUNOFFS

請記住，登記投票的截止日期。

IN JANUARY FOR THE TWO SENATE SEATS, THAT'S DECEMBER 7.

1月的兩個參議院席位，即12月7日。

>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> 喬恩。右邊。

>> Stephen: OKAY.

>> Stephen:好的

>> Jon: RIGHT, DECEMBER 7 IS THE DEADLINE.

>> 喬恩。對了，12月7日是截止日期。

SO GOTTA SPREAD THE WORD.

所以必須傳播這個詞。

>> Stephen: YOU CAN REGISTER EVEN IF YOU WEREN'T REGISTERED

>> Stephen: 即使你沒有註冊，你也可以註冊。

FOR THE GENERAL ELECTION IN NOVEMBER, RIGHT?

11月的大選，對吧？

>> Jon: RIGHT.

>> 喬恩。右邊。

>> Stephen: AND IF YOU WEREN'T OLD ENOUGH AT THE GENERAL

>> 如果你在大會上還不夠老，那你就會被淘汰。

ELECTION.

選舉：

SO IF YOU'VE TURNED 18 BETWEEN NOVEMBER 3 AND JANUARY 5,

所以如果你在11月3日和1月5日之間滿18歲的話，

RIGHT-- I THINK THAT'S THE ELECTION.

對 我想這就是選舉了

BOOM.

轟。

YOU'RE IN.

你在。

>> Jon: BIRTHDAY PRESENT.

>> 生日禮物。

THERE IT IS.

在那裡，它是。

>> Stephen: YOU CAN REQUEST A BALLOT BY MAIL.

>> 斯蒂芬：你可以通過郵件申請投票。

AGAIN, IT'S JANUARY 5.

又是一月五日。

FOR MORE INFORMATION TO EVERYBODY OUT THERE-- AND PLEASE

更多的資訊給所有的人 -- 並請。

TELL YOUR FRIENDS IN GEORGIA, JON, GO TO BETTERED

告訴你在喬治亞的朋友們，JON，去BETTERED。

KNOWABALLOT.COM/GA, FOR ALL THE RESOURCES YOU NEED AND A

KNOWABALLOT.COM/GA，為您提供您所需要的所有資源，併為您提供您所需要的服務。

STEP-BY-STEP VIDEO BY ME ON HOW TO REGISTER TO VOTE.

我的一步一步的視頻，如何註冊投票。

IT'S FREE.

它是免費的。

YOU'RE LOSING MONEY IF YOU DON'T GO.

如果你不去，你就會虧損。

>> Jon: YOU CAN DO IT RIGHT NOW.

>> 喬恩：你現在就可以做。

>> Stephen: JON, YOU HAVE ANY RUNOFF MUSIC, SOMETHING FOR A

>> 喬恩，你有什麼跑調的音樂嗎？

RUNOFF?

RUNOFF？

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

>> Stephen:JON BATISTE，每個人。

THANK YOU, JON.

謝謝你，喬恩。

>> Jon: ♪ OH, GEORGIA ♪

>> 喬恩： 哦，格魯吉亞

>> Stephen: CHILDREN: THEY'RE LIKE ADULTS, BUT NOT AS

>> 孩子們。他們像成人，但不像成人一樣

EDUCATED.

教育：

AND THEY CERTAINLY DON'T TALK IN PERFECT WORD CHOICES LIKE WE CAN

而且他們肯定不會像我們一樣用完美的詞彙選擇來說話。

DO IT.

OJ IT。

AND WITH KIDS SPENDING MORE TIME AT HOME RIGHT NOW, PARENTS ARE

隨著孩子們現在花在家裡的時間越來越多，家長們也在不斷地學習。

REALIZING THEY ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS.

認識到他們問了很多問題，

SO I'VE BEEN PROVIDING A SERVICE WHERE I ANSWER REAL QUESTIONS

所以我一直在提供一種服務，在那裡我回答真正的問題。

FROM REAL KIDS, SENT IN BY REAL PARENTS WHO ARE REAL TIRED.

來自真實的孩子，由真實的父母寄來，他們真的很累。

SO, PARENTS, FEEL FREE TO TAKE A BREAK AND LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN IN

所以，家長們，請自由休息，讓你的孩子留在這裡。

FRONT OF THE TV.

前面的電視。

BECAUSE IT'S TIME ONCE AGAIN FOR >> "STEPHEN TAKES YOUR KIDS!"

因為又到了 "史蒂芬帶走你的孩子 "的時候了。

>> Stephen: I AM NO LONGER ASKING YOU, I AM TELLING YOU: WE

>> 斯蒂芬：我不再問你，我是在告訴你：我們。

ARE CHANGING THAT NAME!

正在改變這個名字！

HI, KIDS.

嗨，孩子們。

I'M STEPHEN, AND I'LL BE YOUR TEACHER TODAY.

我是史蒂芬，今天我將是你的老師。

AND I'M HERE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS, SINCE MY MIND IS FULL

而我在這裡回答問題，因為我的心是滿的。

OF ALL THE CORRECT ANSWERS.

所有的正確答案中，

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT I NEVER ASK A QUESTION?

你有沒有注意到，我從來不問問題？

EXACTLY.

正是如此。

LET'S GET STARTED.

讓我們開始吧。

FIRST QUESTION!

第一個問題！

>> DOES A CHICKEN TALK TO A CHICKEN?

>> 雞會跟雞說話嗎？

>> Stephen: YES, IT CAN, UNLESS THE SECOND CHICKEN FORGOT THE

>> Stephen: 是的，可以，除非第二隻雞忘了吃。

FIRST CHICKEN'S BIRTHDAY.

第一隻雞的生日。

THEN THEY MAY NOT TALK FOR MONTHS.

然後，他們可能不說話 幾個月。

NEXT QUESTION!

下一個問題!

>> WHAT HAPPENS IF YOGURT GOES IN YOUR-- UM-- NOSE?

>> 如果酸奶進了你的--嗯--鼻子會怎麼樣？

>> Stephen: OKAY, THIS DOES NOT SEEM LIKE A HYPOTHETICAL.

>> Stephen:好吧，這似乎並不像一個HYPOTHETICAL。

BUT DON'T PANIC-- I'M GOING TO TALK YOU THROUGH THIS.

但不要驚慌... 我會告訴你通過這個。

YOU GOT TWO OPTIONS: ONE, GO GET A TISSUE, AND BLOW IT OUT.

你有兩個選擇：第一，去拿個紙巾，然後把它吹出來。

TWO, ADD SOME BLENDED FRUIT AND PROTEIN POWDER.

二、添加一些混合的水果和蛋白粉。

THEN YOU DON'T HAVE YOGURT UP YOUR NOSE.

那麼你就不會有酸奶在你的鼻子。

YOU'RE JUST MAKING A DELICIOUS NASAL SMOOTHIE.

你只是在做一個美味的鼻涕。

NEXT QUESTION.

下一個問題。

>> IF THERE WAS ONE CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE "LORD OF THE RINGS"

>> 如果《魔戒》全書中只有一個角色的話

STORY LINE THAT COULD BE AN AVOCADO, WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK

可能是鱷梨的故事線，你認為是哪一條？

COULD BE THE AVOCADO?" >> Stephen: WOW.

可能是AVOCADO？">> Stephen:WOW。

THAT IS AN INCREDIBLE QUESTION.

那是一個難以置信的問題。

FIRST OF ALL, CONGRATULATIONS ON ASKING ME PERHAPS THE ONLY

首先，恭喜你問我可能是唯一的一個。

QUESTION ABOUT "THE LORD OF THE RINGS" THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN

關於《指環王》的問題，我從來沒有問過。

ASKED BEFORE.

問前。

I HAVE TO GIVE THIS SOME THOUGHT.

我必須給這個一些想法。

SAM.

薩姆。

SAM IS THE AVOCADO.

薩姆是鱷梨。

NEXT?

下一個？

>> I'M CONFUSED.

>> 我很困惑。

WHICH LAMBORGHINI SHOULD I PICK FOR MY SCHOOL PROJECT, A

我應該為我的學校項目選擇哪種蘭博基尼，A。

CENTENARIO OR THE PERFORMANTE?" >> Stephen: MAHESH, I GOTTA SAY,

CENTENARIO還是PERMANTE？">> 史蒂芬：馬赫，我得說。

I'M CONFUSED, TOO.

我也很困惑。

I MEAN, CENTANARIO OR PERFORMANTE?

我是說，CENTANARIO還是PERFORMANTE？

ARE THOSE REALLY THE ONLY TWO CHOICES, MAHESH?

只有這兩個選擇嗎，馬赫斯？

I MEAN, SURE, THE REAR-WHEEL STEERING AND THE INCREASED

我的意思是，當然，後輪轉向和增加的。

DOWN-FORCE MAKE THE CENTENARIO A TECHNICAL MARVEL AND MOVING

DOWN-FORCE將CENTENARIO打造成技術奇蹟和移動設備。

TRIBUTE TO THE ANNIVERSARY OF FERRUCCIO LAMBORGHINI'S BIRTH,

紀念費魯奇奧-蘭博基尼誕辰。

BUT EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S ESSENTIALLY JUST A MODIFIED

但大家都知道，這肯定只是一個修改過的。

AVENTADOR.

AVENTADOR：

AND, YES, THE PERFORMANTE IS A BEAUTIFUL PIECE OF ENGINEERING

而且，是的，PerFORMANTE是一個美麗的工程。

FROM THE CARBON FIBRE FRONT BUMPER TO THE FORGED COMPOSITE

從碳纖維前保險槓到鍛壓合成材料

REAR SPOILER.

後面的破壞者。

BUT HAVE YOU EVEN CONSIDERED THE CLASSIC COUNTACH LP-400?

但您是否考慮過經典的 COUNTACH LP-400？

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE INITIAL MODEL WITH THE NARROW TIRES AND

我說的是初代車型，輪胎很窄，還帶著一個大喇叭。

LOW DRAG COEFFICIENT.

低阻力系數。

IT MAY NOT HAVE THE PERFORMANCE CAPABILITY OF NEWER MODELS, BUT

它可能不具備較新機型的性能能力，但是

THE ICONIC SCISSOR DOORS AND THE STRIKING ALLOY BODY WORK

標誌性的剪刀門和引人注目的鋁合金門體工作。

HELPED IT PIONEER THE ANGLED ITALIAN WEDGE DESIGN THAT WOULD

幫助它開創了斜紋意大利楔形設計，使它成為了意大利的先鋒。

GO ON TO BECOME A LAMBORGHINI SIGNATURE.

繼續成為Lamborghini的簽名者。

BUT IT'S YOUR SCHOOL PROJECT.

但這是你的學校項目。

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

做任何你想做的事。

NEXT QUESTION.

下一個問題。

>> WHY DO DINOSAURS STOMP ALL DAY AND NIGHT?

>> DINOSURS為什麼一天到晚都在跺腳？

>> Stephen: THAT'S AN IMPORTANT QUESTION.

>> Stephen:這是一個重要的問題。

THANK YOU.

謝謝你。

THERE'S A LOT TO UNPACK THERE.

那裡有很多東西要整理。

THERE'S TWO REASONS THEY DO THIS, REALLY.

他們這樣做有兩個原因，真的。

DINOSAURS STOMP ALL DAY BECAUSE THEY'RE STILL UPSET THAT COMET

恐龍整天都在跺腳，因為它們還在為彗星的到來而煩惱。

WIPED OUT ALL OF THEIR FRIENDS.

消滅了他們所有的朋友。

AND DINOSAURS STOMP ALL NIGHT BECAUSE THEIR DOWNSTAIRS

恐龍整晚都在跺腳，因為它們的下樓。

NEIGHBOR IRV IS PLAYING THE MUSIC TOO LOUD, AND THEY HAVE TO

鄰居IRV把音樂放得太大聲了，他們不得不這樣做。

BE ON A ZOOM CALL FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

早上第一件事就是打ZOOM電話。

WE ALL LIKE STEELY DAN, IRV, BUT TURN DOWN THE "AJA."

我們都喜歡鐵血丹，艾爾維，但把 "AJA "的聲音調小點。

NEXT QUESTION.

下一個問題。

>> MY QUESTION IS, CAN YOU CATCH A CLOUD?

>> 我的問題是，你能抓住一片雲嗎？

>> Stephen: THAT'S A DEEP QUESTION, JAMES.

>> Stephen:這是一個很深的問題，詹姆斯。

TRYING TO THROW YOUR ARMS AROUND A CLOUD WOULD BE LIKE TRYING TO

試圖把你的手臂扔在雲上，就像試圖把你的手臂扔在雲上一樣。

CATCH A MOMENT IN TIME.

及時捕捉時機。

RATHER THAN CAUGHT, IT IS TO BE OBSERVED LIKE ALL THE MOMENTS

與其說是被發現，不如說是被觀察到，就像所有的時刻一樣。

THAT FLOAT ACROSS THE SKY OF OUR LIVES.

漂浮在我們生活的天空上。

WE CANNOT KEEP THEM, AND THAT VERY FACT GIVES THEM A TRAGIC

我們不能留住他們，而這一事實給了他們一個悲劇性的。

BEAUTY.

美麗。

WE ARE HERE BUT ONCE, SO SEEK NOT TO HOLD WHAT CANNOT BE HELD,

我們在這裡只有一次，所以不要抱著不能抱的東西。

JAMES, ONLY BE PRESENT TO EXPERIENCE IT.

詹姆斯，只有在場才能體驗到它。

EITHER THAT OR ASK YOUR PARENTS TO SPRING FOR STEPHEN COLBERT'S

或者讓你的父母為史蒂芬-柯爾伯特的兒子報仇。

CLOUD VACUUM, WHICH RETAILS ON OUR WEBSITE FOR ONLY $349.99.

雲端吸塵器，在我們的網站上售價僅為349.99美元。

STEPHEN COLBERT'S CLOUD VACUUM: WE PROMISE IT'S GONNA SUCK!

STEPHEN COLBERT的雲端吸塵器：我們保證它一定會很爛!

NEXT QUESTION.

下一個問題。

>> HOW DOES SANTA GET THE PRESENTS TO ALL OF THE KIDS IN

>> 聖誕老人是如何把禮物送給所有的孩子的？

ONE DAY?

一天？

I'M LIKE...

我喜歡...

>> Stephen: THAT IS A TOUGH ONE, JULIA.

>> Stephen:這是一個艱難的問題，朱莉婭。

LUCKILY, I HAPPEN TO BE GOOD FRIENDS WITH SANTA, AND MAYBE HE

幸運的是，我碰巧是好朋友與聖誕老人，也許他

CAN ANSWER THIS ONE HIMSELF.

可以回答這一個自己。

SANTA?

桑塔？

>> HO, HO, HO, HO, HO!

>> 何，何，何，何，何，何!

HI, JULIA.

嗨，JULIA。

IT'S ME, SANTA.

是我，聖人。

HOW DO I DO IT?

我該怎麼做？

I'LL TELL YA HOW I DO IT.

我會告訴你我是怎麼做的。

YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, ALL RIGHT?

你不擔心它，好嗎？

YOU FILL OUT YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST, AND COME CHRISTMAS

你填好你的聖誕清單，然後來過聖誕。

MORNING, YOU OPEN YOUR PRETTY LITTLE EYES, AND THERE'LL BE

早晨，你睜開你漂亮的小眼睛，就會發現... ...

PRESENTS.

介紹：

THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW.

這就是你需要知道的。

I'LL GET IT DONE, PANDEMIC OR NO PANDEMIC.

我會得到它的完成，PANDEMIC或沒有PANDEMIC。

I'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR 10,000 YEARS.

我已經做了一萬年了。

IT'S GONNA GET DONE.

它會得到解決。

ALL RIGHT?

沒事吧？

SO I DON'T NEED THE "HUH?" I DON'T NEED THAT EXPRESSION.

所以我不需要 "嗯？"我不需要這種表達方式。

I DON'T NEED THAT FROM YOU.

我不需要你這樣做。

SO, DON'T WORRY.

所以，不要擔心。

IT'LL GET DONE.

它會得到解決。

THANK YOU.

謝謝你。

OH, THANKS FOR THE COOKIES.

哦，謝謝你的餅乾。

>> Stephen: THANKS, SANTA.

>> Stephen:謝謝你，聖誕老人。

AND THANK YOU, KIDS.

謝謝你，孩子們。

WELL, PARENTS, I HOPE THAT GAVE YOU A LITTLE BREAK.

好了，家長們，我希望這能讓你們稍微休息一下。

AND IF YOUR KIDS HAVE QUESTIONS AT HOME, PLEASE POST A VIDEO TO

如果你的孩子在家裡有問題，請發視頻到。

SOCIAL MEDIA USING THE HASHTAG COLBERT-KID-QUESTIONS, AND WE

社交媒體使用HASHTAG COLBERT-KID-QUESTIONS，而我們。

MIGHT JUST FEATURE IT IN OUR NEXT INSTALLMENT OF "STEPHEN

也許會在我們下一次的 "史蒂芬 "節目中出現。

TAKES YOUR KIDS."

採取你的孩子。"

LOOK ME IN THE EYES.

看著我的眼睛。