HAVE BEEN NAUGHTY OR NICE.

(BELLS RINGING) WHAT'S THAT SOUND?

>> HO-HO-HO!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

SANTA'S HERE!

>> JAMES: SANTA!

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!

>> James: SANTA!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

>> MERRY CHRISTMAS.

WELL, IT'S NEARLY CHRISTMAS, SO, I THOUGHT I'D COME DELIVER

GIFTS TO ALL THE GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS FROM MY FAVORITE

TELEVISION SHOW!

HO-HO-HO!

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SANTA'S HERE!

>> James: WHAT A LOVELY SURPRISE!

WAIT, HOW DID YOU GET IN THE BUILDING?

>> WHY, THROUGH THE CHIMNEY, OF COURSE.

>> JAMES: OKAY, BUT DID YOU FOLLOW THE NECESSARY PROTOCOLS?

>> OF COURSE, I DID!

I RUBBED MY BELLY, CRINKLED MY NOSE AND SLID RIGHT DOWN!

HO-HO-HO!

SANTA'S HERE!

>> JAMES: YES, BUT WERE YOU TESTED?

>> OH, JAMES, EVERY CHRISTMAS IS A TEST.

AND EVERY YEAR WE PASS WITH FLYING COLORS-- AND FLYING

REINDEER!

>> James: RIGHT.

SORRY.

SANTA, I MEAN HAVE YOU BEEN TESTED FOR COVID 19?

>> COVID- 19?

IS THAT ANOTHER ONE OF THE ADORABLE BOY BANDS YOU LIKE

HAVING ON THE SHOW?

HO-HO-HO!

YOU KNOW, JAMES, YOU'RE 42-YEARS-OLD, THERE ARE OTHER

KINDS OF MUSIC.

>> JAMES: NO, SANTA, COVID-19 IS AN AIRBORNE VIRUS THAT'S VERY

CONTAGIOUS.

>> TO BE HONEST, SANTA IS A LITTLE OUT OF THE LOOP.

NEWS TRAVELS SLOW UP AT THE NORTH POLE.

TERRIBLE WIFI.

>> James: OKAY, I CAN'T BELIEVE -- BUT YOU MUST HAVE

HEARD OF IT.

IT STARTED LIKE A YEAR AGO, HALFWAY ACROSS THE GLOBE.

>> OH, THOSE POOR PEOPLE!

WELL, LUCKY FOR US WE'RE IN AMERICA RIGHT NOW!

LET'S GET TO THE PRESENTS!

>> James: HANG ON!

SANTA, IT'S IN AMERICA NOW, TOO.

ACTUALLY, IT'S WORSE HERE.

THAN PRETTY MUCH ANYWHERE ELSE, WHICH IS WHY I THINK THIS HAD

BETTER BE YOUR FIRST AND LAST STOP TONIGHT.

>> OH, JAMES, THIS ISN'T MY FIRST STOP.

I'VE BEEN TO FLORIDA, SOUTH DAKOTA, ALL OVER ORANGE COUNTY,

CALIFORNIA.

NOBODY MENTIONED IT THERE.

>> JAMES: YEAH, THAT'S KIND OF THE PROBLEM.

>> OH, MY.

THIS SOUNDS REALLY SERIOUS.

A DISEASE THAT'S COMPLETELY UNSTOPPABLE...

>> JAMES: WELL, NOT COMPLETELY.

IT'S PROVEN THAT SOCIAL DISTANCING AND WEARING A MASK

STOPS THE SPREAD.

>> WELL, THAT'S GREAT NEWS!

NOW THAT WE HAVE THAT INFORMATION IT SHOULD BE GONE IN

NO TIME.

NOW, LET'S GET TO THOSE PRESENTS!

WHO'S BEEN A GOOD BOY?

>> JAMES: NO, SEE, SOME PEOPLE ARE REFUSING TO WEAR THE MASKS

AND ARE JUST GOING ABOUT THEIR LIVES AS NORMAL.

AND, UNFORTUNATELY, THAT MEANS THAT CHRISTMAS IS GOING TO HAVE

TO BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT THIS YEAR.

>> WELL, AS LONG AS ALL THE GOOD LITTLE BOYS AND GIRLS CAN STILL

SIT ON SANTA'S LAP AND WHISPER INTO MY EAR.

>> James: NO, THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

>> OKAY, BUT I CAN STILL SNEAK INTO HOUSES AND LEAVE GIFTS IN

PEOPLE'S STOCKINGS.

>> James: NO, NO, NO, YOU DEFINITELY CAN'T DO THAT EITHER.

>> MILK AND COOKIES?

>> James: ABSOLUTELY NOT.

>> HOLY (BLEEP).

( LAUGHTER ) JAMES, CAN I LET YOU IN ON A

LITTLE SECRET?

>> JAMES: OF COURSE.

>> SANTA IS GETTING ANGRY!

I'VE BEEN WORKING MY BOWL OF JELLY OFF SINCE JANUARY AND FOR

WHAT?!

I'VE MADE MY LIST AND I DON'T NEED TO CHECK IT TWICE!

EVERYONE IS GOING ON THE NAUGHTY LIST!

NO MORE PRESENTS!

>> JAMES: BUT SOME O US HAVE BEEN GOOD, SANTA!

>> I DON'T GIVE A (BLEEP)!

CHRISTMAS IS A SACRED TIME OF YEAR AND YOU ALL RUINED IT!

YOU KNOW THAT BLENDER YOU WANTED?

>> JAMES: SANTA, NO!

>> H, LOOK.

A LAPTOP FOR SUSAN.

SUSAN, HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD GIRL?

>> YES, I HAVE!

>> James: AND YOU KNOW THAT NEW LAPTOP YOU WANTED.

>> UH-HUH.

>> James: WHY DON'T YOU GOOGLE "SANTA'S PISSED OFF!"

>> James: SANTA!

OH, TINY TIM!

YOU KNOW THAT GUITAR YOU ASKED SANTA FOR?

WELL, I'VE GOT IT RIGHT HERE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

>> James: SANTA!

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS REVENGE!

>> James: HOLD ON, WE'RE GOING TO BE RIGHT BACK.

WE'LL GO TO COMMERCIAL AND FIGURE THIS OUT.

WHEN WE COME BACK, KEEGAN-MICHAEL KEY IS GOING TO

BE HERE, EVERYBODY!

SANTA, CALM DOWN!

>> SANTA'S ANGRY!

SILENT NIGHT!

HOLY NIGHT!

ALL IS CALM!

ALL -- ♪

♪ ♪

( LAUGHTER ) ( BLEEP )