So much has died.

Here is a set of thoughts we might turn over in our minds to soften our grief and accompany our tears.

We're often under subtle pressure to just get over what has happened and then to move on with our lives.

But we will never get over our loss in any simple way we won't ever forget or naively recover.

And crucially, we don't have to.

The depth of our grief is simply the price we pay for the extent of our love.

We can feel an acute pressure to speak well of the dead, and we want, above all to express love and respect.

But we can admit, without any guilt that the dead are no different from the living they were, as we are beautifully flawed and Fascinatingly complicated.

Our relationship to the dead had ambiguous sides.

Of course it did.

There were frustrations and disappointments, misunderstandings that couldn't be put right, resentments and anxieties and tantalizing hopes that were never quite fulfilled.

Our relationship to them was like this because this is the nature of all human loves.

It's not a denial of love, because love involves closeness and closeness.

is necessarily intricate.

Ambivalence isn't a refusal of love.

It's a consequence of the profound ist kind of love we may feel.

We didn't always love thumb as we now wish we had.

There were things we didn't do or things we wish we hadn't done things.

We change.

If only we could.

We don't have toe worry.

Most of what we needed to say made its way to them indirectly.

We didn't have to put it explicitly in tow.

Words at a pivotal moment.

They knew or guessed they didn't say everything, either.

It's just how human relationships function.

We don't have to spell everything out because we do so much of the work in our own minds.

They understood that there was sufficient love, and the proof of that is that we're thinking off from now a word on immortality.

The moment when someone dies is not when their body ceases to exist, but when the last person whose life was touched by them dies.

On this basis, they have so long still left to live because they continue to survive within us.

The conversation with them goes on without end in our own minds.

They will be with us through many things that have not yet happened through so many dilemmas and joys and sorrows Still to come Our love conduce strange things.

It can produce fears that the one we've lost might be feeling abandoned might be in pain somewhere might be feeling alone and dejected that we are currently letting them down or failing to look after them.

We mustn't worry.

They are not unhappy.

They are properly at peace.

They don't need us now.

They don't blame us for anything.

They are not angry with us.

We cannot hurt or disappointment.

They don't resent us for being alive.

It may be frightening to die.

It is not frightening to be dead.

They are genuinely at peace.

We will never forget.

Um But we will live tomorrow and the next day.

This is not ingratitude or callousness.

Its loyal to the values that we shared with them we can live on and still be faithful toe everything they meant for us.

It's not an attack on love to endure and to love again love once What's good for the other?

Love wants there to be more love.

They will follow us through the rest of our lives.

No one can separate us from them.

We miss them so much.

And yet they are still here, inside us and with us.

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