well, let's face it overwhelming.

好吧，讓我們面對它壓倒性的。

It's nice sometimes to mix it up

有時候混在一起也挺好的

and have a little bit of fun

玩一玩

with things that are happening in the news.

與新聞中發生的事情。

That's why we have a very special guest who does just that.

所以我們請來了一位非常特殊的嘉賓，他就是這樣做的。

This guy's been gently skewering politics for decades,

這傢伙幾十年來一直在溫和地諷刺政治。

with his unique blend of light satire

以他獨特的混合輕諷刺的方式

and ragtime, piano music.

和拉格泰姆，鋼琴音樂。

Your parents probably have some of his old records

你父母可能有他的一些舊記錄

like, Politics Phooey, and Hitting Below the Beltway.

像、政務呼呼、打帶下。

Yeah.

是啊。

This guy is great.

這傢伙是偉大的。

Please welcome, political song parodist, Tip Rivers.

請歡迎，政治歌曲模仿者，蒂普-裡弗斯。

[Tip] Oh!

[提示]哦！

(piano plays)

（鋼琴演奏）

Hello, Conan!

你好，柯南！

It's great to see you again.

很高興再次見到你。

It's great to see anybody these days.

這幾天看到誰都很高興。

What a mess am I right?

我說的沒錯吧，什麼亂七八糟的？

I mean, don't get me started.

我的意思是，不要讓我開始。

Okay. I won't.

好吧，我不會的

Yeah, I know what you mean.

是的，我知道你的意思。

2020 has been a rough year,

2020年是個艱難的年份。

which is why I'm excited to hear your satirical take

這就是為什麼我很高興聽到你的諷刺性觀點

on the news through the power of piano music.

通過鋼琴音樂的力量來報道新聞。

Well, I'll do my darn best.

好吧，我會盡我最大的努力。

How about a little diddy about the current occupant

不如來點關於現在住戶的小插曲。

of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?

賓夕法尼亞大道1600號？

Oh boy.

哦，天啊

Song about Trump.

關於特朗普的歌。

Okay great, here we go.

好吧，我們走吧。

Okay, here we go.

好了，我們開始吧。

♪ Oh, Donald Trump is the president of the USA. ♪

# 唐納德-特朗普是美國總統 # # Oh, Donald Trump is the president of the USA. #

♪ And when Joe Biden is in jail ♪

*當喬-拜登被關進監獄時*

♪ In the White House, Trump will stay ♪

*在白宮，特朗普會留下* *In the White House, Trump will stay*

♪ With a fraud fraud here, and a steal steal there ♪

與欺詐欺詐這裡， 和偷竊偷那裡

♪ We must find Biden's crimes ♪

我們必須找出拜登的罪行

♪ And lock him up till the end of time. ♪

# 把他關起來，直到時間的盡頭 # # And lock him up till the end of time. #

♪ So Donald Trump stays president as God intended, so ♪

唐納德-特朗普按照上帝的旨意留任總統，所以...

Don't get me started!

不要讓我開始！

(Tip laughing)

（小費笑）

Okay, I have to say, that's not the song I expected.

好吧，我不得不說，這不是我期待的歌曲。

Oh, well you sound like me

哦，你的口氣跟我一樣

when I found out that Biden won Georgia.

當我發現拜登贏得佐治亞州時

Not what I expected.

和我想象的不一樣。

Are you kidding me?

你在開玩笑嗎？

Come on, the machines had to have flipped votes.

來吧，機器必須有翻轉的投票。

Okay Tip, your songs, in the old days,

好的小費，你的歌，在以前。

they were more balanced and nuanced.

他們更加平衡和細微。

Are you getting all your news from like Fox and Newsmax?

你的新聞都是來自福克斯和Newsmax嗎？

What, those radical leftists supplicants?

什麼，那些激進的左派支持者？

No way!

不可能！

If you want the real truth, you've gotta dig.

如果你想知道真正的真相，你就得挖。

And that's why I get all my news now

這就是為什麼我現在能得到所有的新聞。

from this great website called christiannewspatriot.truth.

從這個偉大的網站叫christiannewspatriot.truth。

Would you like to hear another?

你還想聽另一個嗎？

Uh, you know, only if you can just tone it down a bit.

呃，你知道，只有當你可以 只是調下來一點。

Okay?

好嗎？

You would like me to tone it down?

你想讓我把它調低嗎？

Shall I tone it down here?

要不要我在這裡小聲點？

♪ Or tone it all the way down here ♪

或音調它所有的方式下來這裡

(Tip laughing)

（小費笑）

That's just a little musical fun.

這只是一個小小的音樂樂趣。

But I take your meaning.

但我明白你的意思。

Very little, yeah.

很少，是的。

Oh, you'll like this one.

哦，你會喜歡這個的。

This one is long on laughs and light on politics.

這部作品長於笑料，輕於政治。

[Conan] Great.

很好

Here we go.

我們走吧

♪ It can't be debated, COVID's death rate is inflated ♪

* It can't be debated, COVID's death rate is inflated * * It can't be debated, COVID's death rate is inflated *

♪ It's a big hoax ♪

這是一個大騙局

♪ The vaccines were designed ♪

* 疫苗的設計 *

♪ To help Bill Gates control our minds. ♪

* 幫助比爾-蓋茨控制我們的思想 *

[Conan] No, hey hey hey.

不，嘿，嘿，嘿。

Can you just not?

你能不能不要？

Please, don't sing songs like that, really.

請不要唱這樣的歌，真的。

Well. I was a little flat wasn't I?

好吧，我是有點平淡，不是嗎？我有點平淡，不是嗎？

Is that your objection?

這是你的反對意見嗎？

It's been a little while

有一段時間了

since I was allowed to perform publicly.

既然我被允許公開表演。

Let's try another, okay?

我們再試一次，好嗎？

♪ Oh, Yankee Doodle went to town ♪

哦，美國佬塗鴉去鎮上

♪ And was murdered by Antifa. ♪

# And was murdered by Antifa. #

[Conan] No, no, no.

不，不，不。

No, no, no, no, definitely not that one.

不，不，不，不，絕對不是那個。

Well...

那...

Tip, do you have any songs

提示，你有什麼歌曲

that have absolutely nothing to do with politics at all?

完全與政治無關？

Oh, absolutely.

哦，絕對的。

Yes I do.

是的，我有。

I have something for the normies

我有東西要給常人

who haven't been red pilled yet.

誰還沒有被紅丸。

Is that what you had in mind?

你是這樣想的嗎？

That's fine, how 'bout this?

很好，這個怎麼樣？

A sweet little Christmas tune.

一首甜蜜的聖誕小曲。

Ah, Christmas tune, here we go.

啊，聖誕曲子，我們走吧。

No problem at all.

完全沒有問題。

♪ Ooh, we wish you a merry Christmas ♪

哦，我們希望你有一個快樂的聖誕節

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

我們祝你聖誕快樂

♪ We wish you a merry Christmas ♪

我們祝你聖誕快樂

♪ And the CIA did 9/11 ♪

* And the CIA did 9/11 *

Don't get me started on that.

別讓我開始說這個。

You want to tell me that jet fuel can melt steel?

你想告訴我，噴氣式燃料可以熔化鋼鐵？

Okay, Tip Rivers, everybody. Since when? Since When?

好了，小費-裡弗斯，各位什麼時候開始的？從什麼時候開始？

Thank you, Tip. Thank you. That's ridiculous!

謝謝你，蒂普謝謝你，小費太荒唐了！

Thank you Tip.

謝謝你的提示。

I have yet to hear a coherent explanation

我還沒有聽到一個連貫的解釋

of why building seven went down!

七號樓為什麼會倒塌！

All right.

好吧，我知道了

That was a controlled explosion!

那是一次受控爆炸！

We have a great show. You accept that, don't you?

我們有一個偉大的演出。你接受了，對吧？

Joe Manganiello's with us.

Joe Manganiello和我們一起。

He's gonna to be joining us and uh...

他要加入我們，呃... ...

[Tip] Joe Manganiello?

小貼士】喬-曼加尼羅?

He was in on it!

他也有份！

Tip. Tip.

小費。小費。

He was part of the whole thing!

他是整個事件的一部分！

He designed the holograms for the twin towers!

他設計了雙塔的全息圖!

(rock music begins) No, it's not a hologram.

（搖滾音樂開始） 不，這不是一個全息圖。

There's no way it could have been a hologram.

它不可能是一個全息圖。

They keep suppressing the video.

他們一直在壓制視頻。