WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

HOPE YOU'RE STAYING WARM.

LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

JON, WHERE YOU ARE, ARE YOU GETTING POUNDED WITH SNOW RIGHT

NOW?

>> Jon: YES, I AM, THERE'S SO MUCH SNOW OUTSIDE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S A WHITE CHRISTMAS.

>> Stephen: DID YOU-- NO SNOW.

THERE'S NEVER SNOW IN NEW ORLEANS, RIGHT, EVER FOR ANYONE

REASON?

>> Jon: NO,UN THE 17 YEARS THEY GREW UP IN NEW ORLEANS, WE

DIDN'T HAVE SNOW ONE TIME.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

>> Stephen: SO NEVER A SNOW DAY?

NEVER A SNOW DAY.

>> Jon: NO, NEVER A SNOW DAY, MAN.

WE HAD LONG FALL.

( LAUGHTER ) FALL EXTENDED, YOU KNOW.

>> Stephen: WELL, JON, I'M ABOUT TO TALK TO MR. TOM HANKS.

IS THERE ANYTHING YOU GOT, A LITTLE MUSIC-- MUSIC FOR HANKS?

>> Jon: YEAH, YEAH, THE HANKS-- THE BEAUTIFUL MR. HANKS.

♪ ♪ ♪ THAT'S SOMETHING FOR HANKS.

>> Stephen: JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

THANK YOU, JON.

>> Jon: YES, INDEED.

♪ DA-DEE-DA♪ >> Stephen: MY GUEST THIS

EVENING IS A GREAT BIG MOVIE STAR WHO HAS A NEW FILM, "NEWS

OF THE WORLD."

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," TOM HANKS!

HELLO, TOM.

>> HEY, STEVE.

HOW ARE YOU?

>> Stephen: I'M DOING-- I'M DOING OKAY.

IT'S-- I'M IN THE OFFICE NOW.

LAST TIME YOU SAW ME, I WAS AT HOME.

I'M-- >> YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN TALKING

TO YOUR CRACK STAFF.

I'M A LITTLE DISTURBED BY THIS DUAL OFFICE THING YOU HAVE.

>> Stephen: WHAT?

>> BECAUSE I JUST READ-- I JUST READ THAT PUTIN-- THAT'S RIGHT,

THAT PUTIN-- HAS TWO IDENTICAL OFFICES, ONE IN THE KREMLIN IN

MOSCOW, AND THEN ONE ON THE BEACH DOWN ON THE BLACK SEA.

AND SO NO ONE REALLY KNOWS IS HE AT WORK?

IS HE IN THE WORK OFFICE?

OR IS HE-- IS HE DOWN THERE?

IT STRIKES ME AS A VERY, YOU KNOW, DESPOTIC THING TO DO TO

HAVE TWO OFFICES.

SO WE DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.

>> Stephen: YOU DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS THE REAL STEPHEN COLBERT

OR IF IT'S MY BODY DOUBLE.

>> YOU COULD HAVE A GUY THAT SORT OF LOOKS LIKE YOU WITH THE

BAD HAIR AND THE WHOLE BIT AND A COUPLE OF PROSTHETICS --

>> Stephen: YOU HAD TO GO FOR THE EAR.

BALDY!

( LAUGHTER ) >> OH, MAN, I WISH I HAD

SOMETHING FOR YOU.

>> Stephen: YOU EVER SEE THAT MOVIE "DAVE?"

I COULD BE KEVIN KLINE RIGHT NOW.

>> YOU COULD-- YOU COULD BE, YOU COULD BE.

>> Stephen: TOM, TOM HANKS, THIS IS THE SECOND TIME YOU'VE

JOINED US UNDER COVID CONDITIONS.

THAT GIVES YOU SOME-- SOME IDEA.

WE'VE NOW ACHIEVED TWO HANKS' WORTH OF COVID-19--

>> WELL, MUCH, MUCH LIKE THE VICE-- THE VACCINE REQUIRES TWO,

TWO INOCULATIONS.

>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.

>> SO I'M-- I'M-- THIS IS THE FOLLOW-UP.

THIS IS THE FOLLOW-UP.

>> Stephen: AND I KNOW YOU HAVE TO BE REFRIGERATED BETWEEN

APPEARANCES.

JUST TO KEEP YOU FRESH.

>> NOW -- >> Stephen: HOW HAVE YOU BEEN

SINCE JULY?

>> I WAS DOWN-- I WAS ON HOLIDAY FOR A WHILE, AND THEN I RETURNED

TO WORK, YOU KNOW.

WHEN I GOT COVID THE FIRST TIME BACK IN MARCH, WE WERE SIX DAYS

AWAY FROM BEGINNING TO MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT ELVIS PRESSLEY.

AUSTIN BUT LEER WAS PLAYING ELVIS PRESSLEY.

AND WE HAD TO FIGURE OUT ARE WE STILL DOING THIS?

AND THEY ARE.

SO I WENT BACK DOWN AND DID MY PART, AND THEY'LL STILL BE DOWN

SHOOTING.

THAT'S WHY I HAD TO SHAVE MY HEAD FOR A SERIES OF WIGS AND

BALD PATES AND THINGS LIKE THAT.

>> Stephen: IS ELVIS BIG IN AUSTRALIA?

>> ELVIS PRESSLEY IS BIG AROUND THE WORLD, MY FRIEND.

>> Stephen: I AM FAMILIAR.

I AM FAMILIAR WITH HIS WORK, OKAY.

I DO SHOOT IN THE ED SULLIVAN THEATER.

SO DON'T LECTURE ME ON ELVIS PRESSLEY, BUDDY!

>> YOU CAN ACTUALLY TAKE PEOPLE THAT HAVE NEVER SPOKEN THE

ENGLISH LANGUAGE AND NEVER SEEN MODERN TECHNOLOGY, AND YOU JUST

SHOW A GUY WITH SIDEBURNS AND THOSE HIGH COLLARS FROM THE

VEGAS ERA, AND THEY SAY, "LOVE ME TENDER."

>> Stephen: "ALL SHOOK UP."

EXACTLY.

YOU GO TO THE ISLANDS IN THE INDIAN OCEAN--

>> "HOUND DOG.

HOUND DOG."

"SUSPICIOUS MINDS."

>> Stephen: I WAS CURIOUS IF EVEN TO THIS DAY ELVIS IS STILL

A PHENOM DOWN IN AUSTRALIA.

>> ELVIS IS BIGGER THAN-- LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY-- ELVIS IS AS

BUG AS HE EVER HAS BEEN, AND MUCH OF THAT CREDIT GOES TO THE

GUY I PLAYED IN THIS MOVIE, WHICH IS COLONEL TOM PARKER.

>> Stephen: PEOPLE DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE COLONEL.

GIVE US A LITTLE C.V. HERE.

>> COLONEL PARKER WAS A CARNIVAL OPERATOR GUY WHO WAS IN THE

BUSINESS OF PROMOTING THE LIKES OF EDWARD ARNOLD, HANK SNOW,

JIMMY ROGERS SNOW.

AND HE TOOK ONE LOOK AT THIS YOUNG KID FROM MEMPHIS, TIP LOW,

BY WAY OF MEMPHIS, SAW HIS EFFECT AS HE WAS SINGING ON THE

AUDIENCE-- MOSTLY OF WOMEN, GIRLS AND WOMEN-- AND REALIZED

HE HAD PERHAPS-- THIS WAS PERHAPS THE GREATEST CARNIVAL

ATTRACTION ON THE PLANET EARTH.

AND HE HAD NO OTHER CLIENTS.

AND ELVIS NEVER HAD ANY OTHER PROMOTER OR MANAGER.

I WILL SAY "PROMOTER" MORE THAN MANAGER.

AND HE-- HE WAS BOTH A GENIUS AND A SCOUNDREL.

HE WAS BOTH A VERY DISCIPLINED MAN AND ALSO A GUY THAT YOU

MIGHT WANT TO CHECK YOUR WALLET TO SEE IF YOU STILL HAVE ALL

THOSE 5s AND 10s.

"SON OF A GUN, I'VE ONLY GOT SINGLES LEFT IN HERE."

YOU MIGHT WANT TO DO THAT.

BUT I HAD A-- I HAD A DINNER-- AND GOD BLESS HER-- RITA-- MY

WIFE-- RAN INTO PRESILLA PRESSLEY THAT WE KNOW FROM A

FUNCTION IN LOS ANGELES.

AND SHE CAME TAKEOVER DINNER.

AND I WAS EXPECTING TO HEAR STORIES ABOUT THE DISTRUST SHE

HAD FOR COLONEL TOM PARKER OVER THESE MANY YEARS.

AND SHE SAID, NO, HE WAS A WONDERFUL MAN.

AND I WISH HE WAS ALIVE TODAY.

HE TOOK REALLY GREAT CARE OF US.

HE WAS A SCOUNDREL IN HIS WAY.

SO NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT COLONEL TOM PARKER.

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE RIGHT NOW.

HE DOESN'T LOOK A THING LIKE ME.

I WAS-- I AM-- I AM BURIED UNDER-- LET'S JUST SAY THAT THE

PEOPLE THAT PLAYED GORILLAS IN "PLANET OF THE APES" SPENT LESS

TIME IN THE MAKEUP CHAIR THAN I DID ON THIS MOVIE.

>> Stephen: YOU AND RODDY McDOWELL.

>> IT WAS-- YOU KNOW, WITH THE COCONUTS, YOU KNOW, THE KIND OF

COCONUT MOUTH THING.

IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THAT.

IT WAS ALMOST LIKE THAT.

>> Stephen: HOW LONG WERE YOU DOWN IN AUSTRALIA?

>> I WAS THERE FOR THE BETTER PART OF 14 WEEKS.

>> Stephen: AND I UNDERSTAND YOU CAME UP WITH A LITTLE

TRICK-- BECAUSE I'VE SPENT SOME TIME-- NOT IN AUSTRALIA, BUT

I'VE SPENT SOME TIME IN NEW ZEALAND, AND IT'S HARD TO DO THE

MATH IN YOUR HEAD WHAT TIME IS IT HERE AND WHEN SHOULD YOU

CALL, ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE STILL DOING A JOB IN THE STATES AND

HAVE TO DO MEETINGS.

I UNDERSTAND YOU CAME UP WITH A LITTLE TRICK TO KEEP IT

STRAIGHT.

>> TRYING TO KNOW WHEN TO CALL THE WIFE AND KID WAS VERY TOUGH

SO YOU HAD TO SING A SONG.

AND IT ALTERED WHEN DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME KICKED IN.

BEFORE DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME IT WAS

♪ TAKE AWAY 5 AND FLIP TAKE AWAY 5 AND FLIP ♪

BUT ANYWAY, WHEN DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME CAME IT GOT A LITTLE

EASIER.

IT WAS ♪ TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS

AND FLIP IT ♪ TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS.

AND FLIP IT ♪ THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW WHAT TIME

IT IS IN L.A ♪ YOU TAKE AWAY 6 FOR KICKS AND

FLIP IT ♪ IF YOU WERE CALLING AT 10 A.M.

-- >> Stephen: 4.

>> YOU TAKE AWAY SIX, WHICH WAS 4, BUT P.M. OF THE DAY BEFORE.

SEE HOW SIMPLE IT WAS?

I WAS CALLING FROM THE FUTURE.

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> AND TELLING THEM WHAT IT WAS GOING TO BE LIKE.

>> Stephen: SURE.

>> 10 A.M. WAS 4:00 P.M. THE DAY BEFORE.

>> Stephen: YOU HAD THIS-- YOU COPYWROTE ALL OF THIS, I ASSUME.

>> ACTUALLY, I HAVE AUSTRALIAIAN KIDS THAT ARE SINGING IT IN

SCHOOL RIGHT NOW, RIGHT AFTER THEIR PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO

THE LAND OF THE SOUTHERN CROSS.

>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, TOM.

STICK AROUND.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MUCH MORE TOM HANKS.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪