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IT IS OUR FINAL SHOW OF THE YEAR,
GANG, IT IS OUR FINAL SHOW.
I'M NOT GOING TO LIE, A FEW OF US HAVE HAD A DRINK.
YEAH YEAH.
>> James: AN WHEN I SAY A FEW OF US, I MOSTLY MEAN SUSAN.
SUSAN IS-- YEAH, SUSAN IS BOOZEIN, SUSAN IS BOOZEIN HONESE
LEAST.
>> IF SHE WASN'T WEARING THAT FACE MASK YOU WOULD BE DRUNK AT
HOME JUST FROM THE FUMES.
SO THAT'S THE MOOD WE'RE IN.
BUT YOU KNOW, THIS IS ALSO A SOMBER DAY.
WHAT A SHAME TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO 2020.
(LAUGHTER) I WILL SAY IN THE SPIRIT OF 2020
WE'VE DECIDED THAT TONIGHT'S SHOW IS GOING TO BE [BLEEP].
>> YEAH!
BUT THIS IS IT.
WE'RE OFF ON A BREAK FOR A FEW DAYS, ANY PLANS, WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO.
>> Reggie: I'M GOING TO GO TO MONTANA.
>> James: MONTANA.
>> Reggie: YEAH, I WILL VISIT MY MOM.
>> James: BEAUTIFUL, LOVELY UP THERE.
>> Reggie: YEAH, IT WILL BE GREAT, HOPEFULLY SNOW.
I LOVE ALL THAT STUFF, DRIVING IN, IT, I LIKE BLACK ICE.
>> James: DO YOU.
>> ACTUALLY WEIRDLY I LOVE DRIVING IN DISASTROUS
CONDITIONS.
>> James: JUST TO LIVE A DAY IN THAT SORT OF HEAD SPACE.
WHAT ABOUT YOU, IAN, WHAT IS THE PLAN?
>> I GOT THE NEW XBOX.
OH YEAH.
>> James: IT ARRIVED.
>> IT ARRIVED YESTERDAY.
>> James: OKAY.
>> GOT THAT HOOKED UP.
NBA SEASON IS COMING BACK AND I'M GOING TO TRY TO REPAIR MY
RELATIONSHIP WITH WEED.
>> YES!
>> AND TIME TIME STOPPED WORKING ON ME MADE ME PARANOID, I'M
GOING TO GIVE TAY COLLEGE TRY AGAIN.
>> James: IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, WAIT, WHO, WHAT'S
GOING ON, AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.
ANYONE KNOW WHAT HAS BEEN HAPPENING IN THE NEWS?
(LAUGHTER) DOES ANYONE KNOW?
DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY IDEAS?
NO?
ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING IN THE NEWS?
>> I THINK BIDEN WON, I THINK.
>> Reggie: YEAH.
>> James: WHAT?
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE).
>> Reggie: YEAH, SURPRISING,-- IT'S BIDEN, YEAH.
>> James: IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THE NEWS I
CAN FILL YOU IN RIGHT NOW.
I GOT LOADS.
I HAVE LOADS.
>> Reggie: GO FOR IT.
>> James: A TON OF NEWS BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT IT, IF NOT,
HAPPY TO IGNORE IT.
>> Reggie: I'M INTERESTED.
>> Reggie: WHY NOT.
>> James: THEN ARE YOU IN LUCK BECAUSE I CAN TELL YOU THAT VICE
PRESIDENT MIKE PENCE IS ABOUT TO FIND HIMSELF ON QUITE AN
UNCOMFORTABLE SITUATION.
ON JANUARY 6th HE HAS TO APPEAR IN FRONT OF CONGRESS TO
CONFIRM JOE BIDEN'S VICTORY OVERDONE ALD TRUMP.
WELL, WORD HAS JUST COME OUT THAT PENCE WILL THEN IMMEDIATELY
TRAVEL TO THE MIDDLE EAST TO AVOID THE WRATH OF TRUMP AND HIS
SUPPORTERS.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: YOU KNOW THINGS ARE TURBULENT IN THE WHITE HOUSE
WHEN YOU GO TO THE MIDDLE EAST FOR A BIT OF PEACE AND QUIET.
HE IS STOPPING IN BAHRAIN AND ISRAEL.
HE'S THEN HEADED OFF TO POLAND OS AR MIKE PENCE CALLS THAT, A
REAL TROPICAL GETAWAY.
NOW POLAND USUALLY HAS QUITE A BIT OF SNOW THIS TIME OF YEAR SO
CHANCES ARE THIS IS WHAT MIKE PENCE WILL LOOK LIKE IN ALL OF
HIS PHOTOS.
PEEK SPEAKS OF THE VICE PRESIDENT, PENCE SAID HE WILL BE
RECEIVING THE COVID-19 VACCINE INFECTION-- INJECTION TOMORROW
LIVE ON TELEVISION.
YEAH, I KNOW.
THIS IS THE ONE TIME HE WILL ALLOW PENETRATION OUTSIDE OF
MARRIAGE.
(LAUGHTER) NOW AS YOU KNOW THE VACCINE HAS
TO BE KEPT AT SUPER COLD TEMPERATURES SO I'M SURE IT IS
GOING TO DO JUST FINE INSIDE MIKE PENCE.
HERE IS MY THINKING ON THIS.
IF HE DIDN'T GET THE VIRUS AFTER TEN MONTHS INSIDE THE WHITE
HOUSE, I DON'T THINK HE SHOULD BE GETTING IT, I THINK HE WILL
BE FINE.
WE SHOULD BE INJECTING MIKE PENCE INTO EVERYBODY ELSE.
BUT PENCE WILL PUBLICLY RECEIVE THE VACCINE TO PROMOTE ITS
SAFETY AND BUILD CONFIDENCE AMONG THE AMERICAN PEOPLE.
AND NOTHING PROMOTES CONFIDENCE QUITE LIKE GETTING THE VACCINE
AND THEN IMMEDIATELY FLEEING THE COUNTRY.
MEANWHILE THE COVID VACCINE CONTINUES TO ROLL OUT THROUGHOUT
THE UNITED KINGDOM.
TODAY IT WAS FOR IAN McKELLEN'S TURN, HERE HE IS
GETTING HIS FIRST DOSE.
THIS IS E SLENLT NEWS.
EXCELLENT NEWSES.
SIR IAN McKELLEN IS THE MOST SEJ NONESSENTIAL WORKER.
ST BEAUTIFUL THAT HE GOT THE VACCINE BUT I JUST WANT TO SAY,
CUZ I KNOW HE'S WATCHING, LATCH (LAUGHTER)
>> NEVER MISSES AN EPISODE, DID YOU KNOW THAT, I GET A TEXT AT
THE END OF EVERY SHOW FROM SIR IAN McKELLEN WHO SAYS BEST ONE
YET.
I DO WANT TO SAY SIR IAN, YOU ARE 81 YEARS OLD T IS THE MIDDLE
OF DECEMBER, THAT SCARF WITH A T-SHIRT IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT,
IAN, SIR IAN McKELLAN ENHAD A VACCINE WHERE ARE YOU ON THE
LIST OF IANS TO GET A VACCINE.
WHICH IAN IS IN FRONT OF YOU.
>> I GO AFTER McSHANE SO IAN McSHANE AND THEN ME, AND THEN
THAT KID FROM YOUNG SHELDON.
SZ.
>> James: CAN I BE HONEST, I THINK THE NETWORK WOULD DISAGREE
WITH THAT.
SOME GOOD NEWS HERE ON THE VACCINE FRONT HERE IN AMERICA.
YOU KNOW THAT THERE HAS BEEN A LOT OF CONCERN ABOUT A SHORTAGE.
WELL MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS JUST DISCOVERED THAT PFIZER'S VACCINE
VIELS CONTAIN ONE OR TWO MORE DOSES THAN THEY PREVIOUSLY
THOUGHT.
LOOK AT THAT.
ON THE LAST NIGHT OF HANUKKAH.
THEY HAD THE VIEL TRK LASTED LONGER, IT SAY HANUKKAH MIRACLE.
I'M NOT SURE ABOUT THIS.
I DON'T KNOW THAT WHEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO RECEIVE A BRAND NEW
LIFESAVING VACCINE THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR
BEING LIKE, HANG ON A MINUTE.
IT SAYS SIX, WE CAN DO SEVEN, I THINK THAT SHOULD DO IT.
>> AND WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS.
A FAMILY IN SCOTLAND HAD A SURPRISING CHRISTMAS EXPERIENCE
THE OTHER DAY AFTER LEAVING THEIR DOOR OPEN, A HAWK FLEW
INTO THEIR HOME AND PERCHED IN THEIR TREE.
HERE IT IS HERE.
NOT A CREATURE WAS STIRRING, NOT EVEN A MOUSE.
CUZ THERE'S A HAWK IN THE TREE.
A HAWK LANDED IN THEIR CHRISTMAS TREE, THOUGH THE KIDS IN THE
HOUSE WERE PRETTY UNGRATEFUL.
THEY WERE LIKE WELL I ASKED FOR A FALCON.
NOW I JUST CAN'T STOP MANCHING THAT HAWK TALKING WITH A
SCOTTISH ACCENT.
STOP Y ER WE WALLOWING.
THAT'S THE ONLY THING CAN I SAY IN SCOTTISH BECAUSE I USED TO
HAVE-- WHEN I WORKED AT THE SUPERMARKET MY BOSS THERE WAS
SCOTTISH AND I WOULD WORK ON SATURDAY AND HE WOULD SAY KIDS
CAN YOU WATCH-- AND I WOULD SAY YEAH, YEAH, I CAN, OH, I CAN'T,
I'VE GOT TO PRACTICE FOR A SHOW.
AND HE [BLEEP] DO THAT, PLEASE.
DON'T [BLEEP] DO THAT, GET ME YOU-- YOU KNOW, WHAT ELSE HE DID
TO ME, ONE OF MAY JOBS WAS I HAD TO CLEAN THE FREEZER WITH THIS
WIRE BRUSH ON A SATURDAY AFTERNOON, I WOULD JUST HAVE TO
CLEAN.
AND THERE WOULD BE LIKE HALF AND LAMB AND LIKE, JUST MEAT,
DISGUSTING.
AND THE DOOR IF YOU SHUT THE DOOR IT HAD A GLOW IN THE DARK
HANDLE THAT YOU WOULD PUSH TO OPEN AND SET, THIS FREEZER WAS
SO OLD, IT HAD ALL WARN AWAY, SO I WOULD GO IN AND PROBABLY TWICE
A SHIFT THEY WOULD SHUT THE DOOR AND I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SEE ME
WAY OUT AND I WOULD JUST BE WALKING INTO CARCASSES OF
ANIMALS.
AND I WOULD COME OUT AND THEY WOULD JUST THINK IT WAS
HILARIOUS.
HA HA HA, GET BACK IN THERE YOU FAT.
>> BUT I WILL SAY THE JOKE IS ON THEM BECAUSE ON MY LAST DAY I
ACTUALLY STOLE QUITE A LOT OF PRODUCT.
I WALKED OUT OF THERE WITH A BACKPACK SO FULL OF BOOZE, SOLD
IT ALL AT SCHOOL.
AND FINALLY WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS.
TWO POLICE OFFICERS IN PERU RECENTLY WERE SUR VAILING A
SUSPECTED DRUG DEALER WHILE UNDER SCOFER.
AND THEY ENDED UP MAKING THE ARREST DRESSED IN FULL COSTUME
AS SANTA CLAUS AND AN ELF.
DO YOU THINK THEY FOUGHT OVER WHO WOULD BE THE SANTA AND WHO
WOULD BE THE ELF?
YOU KNOW, THERE IS NO SMALL PARTS BUT ONE IS SANTA AND ONE
IS AN ELF.
AFTER THE ARREST THE SUSPECT WAS IMMEDIATELY LIKE FOR CHRISTMAS I
WOULD LIKE TO BE RELEASED EARLY FROM CUSTODY AND SANTA WAS LIKE
DAMMIT, RULES ARE RULES, LET HIM GO.
AND THIS WAS NICE, THEY ARE ACTUALLY ALREADY MAKING A SHOW
INSPIRED BY THE INCIDENT CLAUSEE & ORDER.