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I was in England and I got a chance to talk to you, and I was telling you how much I like your show after life.
我在英國的時候,有機會跟你哈拉,我跟你說我很喜歡你的節目後生。
I really dio like the Siri's and we've got a new season now and we talked about the time the show is.
我真的dio喜歡Siri的,我們現在已經有了新的一季,我們談到了節目的時間。
I really love it.
我真的很喜歡它。
It's also it's dark and it's clear that you are thinking a lot about your own mortality all the time, and it's it influences your work.
這也是它的黑暗,很明顯你一直在思考很多關於自己死亡的問題,這是它影響了你的工作。
Do you think about it?
你考慮過嗎?
Do you think about how you want to go?
你想好要怎麼走了嗎?
I think that I think I'm drawn to it.
我想,我想我是被它吸引了。
And I think comedians are obsessed with it because it's the last to do and it makes people feel uncomfortable.
而我覺得喜劇演員之所以痴迷於此,是因為這是最後一個,讓人覺得不舒服。
And I like taking people to the dark place, you know, it's like taking them through a scary forest and out the other side.
我喜歡把人們帶到黑暗的地方, 你知道,這就像帶他們通過一個可怕的森林 並走出另一邊。
I think that no harm can come from discussing to do subjects, and I think we find that funny.
我覺得討論要做的題目沒有壞處,我覺得我們覺得很有趣。
We find being scared, funny and on death obviously is the ultimate, but I don't think I think more of it more when I die.
我們覺得害怕、好笑,對死亡顯然是極致的,但我不認為我死後會想得更多。
I think I'm I'm resigned to it.
我想我... ...我已經認命了。
Well, you know, we're all gonna die.
嗯,你知道,我們都會死。
There's nothing I could do about it.
我也無能為力。
So the best thing is to enjoy life as much as you can on you.
所以,最好的事情就是在你身上儘可能地享受生活。
And I don't really I don't really care about I don't care about being dead because I won't know about it.
我真的... ...我真的不關心... ...我不在乎死,因為我不會知道它。
That is, that is the best thing about being dead.
也就是說,這就是死了最好的事情。
It z being stupid.
它Z是愚蠢的。
It's only painful for others, you know.
只會讓別人痛苦,你知道的。
But I suppose I worry about how I die.
但我想我擔心的是我怎麼死的。
I don't wanna die, you know, alone or in agony, or I don't know why.
我不想死,你知道的,孤獨或痛苦, 或者我不知道為什麼。
An embarrassing death, you know, I mean, I think about that a lot.
尷尬的死亡,你知道,我的意思是,我想了很多。
I don't wanna be embarrassed or humiliated in any way.
我不想以任何方式感到尷尬或羞辱。
You know, I don't want that.
你知道,我不希望這樣。
I don't want that.
我不想這樣
I wanted to be a very dignified death.
我想做一個很有尊嚴的死法。
Exactly.
就是這樣
Well, like there was a there was, ah, years ago, there was a British MP that was found hung in his wardrobe, right?
好吧,就像有一個 有,啊,幾年前,有一個英國議員 被發現掛在他的衣櫃,對不對?
Wearing ladies tights with an orange laced with animal nitrate.
穿著摻有動物硝酸鹽的橙色女士緊身衣。
I mean, it was masturbating.
我的意思是,這是手淫。
Let's be honest, there's no doubt about that.
說實話,這一點毋庸置疑。
So I mean, I would you know, we wouldn't wanna be fun if I am found like I'm not into that stuff.
所以,我的意思是,我會... ...你知道,我們不會想成為有趣的,如果我發現 像我不進的東西。
So if I am found like that, right, one of my friends have stitched me up.
所以,如果我被發現了,對吧,我的一個朋友已經縫合了我。
They dressed me up after my death and called the papers.
他們在我死後給我穿上衣服,然後打電話給報社。
I just want to say that now, right?
我現在只想說,對吧?
Could you have you got award?
你有你的獎項嗎?
I bet you haven't got a wardrobe big enough for you to hang yourself are masturbate.
我敢打賭,你沒有一個足夠大的衣櫃,讓你掛在自己是手淫。
And I mean, no, I don't have a very small closet.
我的意思是,不,我沒有一個非常小的衣櫃。
I've actually tested it to see Could I hang myself in here while masturbating?
其實我已經測試過了,看我能不能在這裡一邊自慰一邊上吊?
And I I had carpenters come in and they were saying, No, no, no, no.
我... ...我有木匠進來,他們說, 不,不,不,不。
You don't have enough room for that, you know, because masturbating, you need elbow room and e on what's what's your what's your biggest?
你沒有足夠的空間,你知道,因為自慰,你需要肘部空間和E上什麼是你的什麼是你最大的?
What's your roomiest wardrobe?
你最寬敞的衣櫃是什麼?
And and I'll be honest with the guy.
而且我對這傢伙說實話。
I'll say, Look, I need to hang myself while masturbating and there's no here for that.
我會說,你看,我需要在手淫的時候上吊,這裡沒有這個。
Plus, you still need room for the clothes.
而且,你還需要空間來放衣服。
And so, yeah, we're talking about here.
所以,是的,我們正在談論這裡。
Yeah, you don't be too suspicious.
是啊,你不要太懷疑。
You don't want people.
你不想讓人。
Don't walk into your bedroom and go.
不要走進你的臥室就走。
Is that a death wanking wardrobe?
那是一個死亡手淫的衣櫃嗎?
You want a normal wardrobe, and then when you go inside, there's like, you know, things.
你想要一個正常的衣櫃, 然後當你去裡面, 有像,你知道的東西。
Like steps on, like, a really good bar.
就像踩在,一個非常好的酒吧。
A really good way.
一個真正的好辦法。
Uh, now you wanna you wanna be gonna be buried, cremated.
呃,現在你想... ...你想被埋葬,火化。
Have you thought about that?
你想過這個問題嗎?
Do you want?
你要嗎?
What do you want to happen with your body once you're gone?
一旦你離開了,你想讓你的身體發生什麼?
Uh, don't care.
呃,不在乎。
I thought it would be good to be just fed to the lions at London Zoo.
我想,如果只是在倫敦動物園喂獅子,那也不錯。
That'll be useful, isn't it?
這將是有用的,不是嗎?
Because we never give anything back.
因為我們從來沒有回報。
We take everything from this world.
我們從這個世界上獲取一切。
We just we animals, anything that moves.
我們只是... ...我們是動物,任何會動的東西。
We destroy with deforestation club.
我們破壞與森林砍伐俱樂部。
We don't give anything back.
我們不給任何回報。
Everything we do is for us.
我們所做的一切都是為了我們。
We're not even food for other things.
我們甚至不是其他東西的食物。
So I just thought at least then I'd be giving up.
所以我就想,至少那樣我就會放棄了。
So also, I like the look on the tourist faces when they just throw this like, dead fat naked.
所以也是,我喜歡遊客的表情,當他們只是把這個像,死胖子一樣的裸體扔掉。
That's 73 year old.
那是73歲的老人。
Maybe if I'm lucky to the lions on as it lands, some people go.
也許如果我運氣好,獅子上,因為它的土地,有些人去。
Is that the blood from the office?
那是辦公室的血跡嗎?
What?
什麼?
Steve Carell?
史蒂夫-卡瑞爾?
No, not a The original office.
不,不是原來的辦公室。
Yeah, he's much fatter.
是啊,他胖了很多。
He's much faster than Steve.
他比史蒂夫快多了。
Steve Grand's still alive look really handsome.
史蒂夫-格蘭德還活著,看起來真的很帥。
And so the lions, the whole time that the tourists are watching are just ripping you apart with people going.
所以獅子們,遊客們一直在看的時候,都是在跟你撕扯著人去。
Oh, they've never seen a person being for also, I like the idea that the lion they always start with the soft bits.
呵呵,他們從來沒有見過一個人被為也,我喜歡這個想法,獅子他們總是從柔軟的地方開始。
But if two lions went for my testicles right, they'd be in for a shock.
但如果兩隻獅子對我的睪丸下手,他們就會大吃一驚。
Is there really grisly on long?
長上真的有猙獰嗎?
So you have two lines, like about 3 ft apart.
所以你有兩條線,大約相隔3英尺。
It would be like Lady and the Tramp.
這就像《淑女與流浪漢》。
They're eating my testicles getting placed.
他們在吃我的睪丸被放置。
Think they meet the middle and kiss.
認為他們在中間相遇,然後親吻。
Yeah, we owe.
是的,我們有。