Subtitles section Play video
HOW ARE YOU DOING, REG, ARE YOU WELL, ARE YOU GOOD.
>> Reggie: I'M BETTER TODAY.
>> James: YEAH, ARE YOU BETTER TODAY THAN YESTERDAY.
>> Reggie: YEAH, CHECK IT OUT.
GOT MY EXPAND T-SHIRT.
BIG SPAM.
>> James: OH, YEAH THE EXPAND, YEAH, GREAT BAND.
>> SAME.
>> James: NO, IT IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE FILMS.
>> TV SHOW, COME ON.
>> James: IT'S MY FAVORITE ANIME CARTOON.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST ORDER.
>> James: TRUE STORY, TRUE STORY, ARRIVED YESTERDAY AM I
WILL SHOW IT TO YOU ON TUESDAY.
-- .
>> Reggie: SICK.
>> James: LOOK AT ROB, DEVASTATED.
NO EMAIL IT IS AT AOC, YOU HAVE TO GO THROUGH THE TEXT ABCDEF,
THAT WHOLE THING.
I WILL ONLY BE REACHABLE BY PHONE.
>> FOR TUESDAY EXACTLY, RIGHT.
>> James: HOW LONG DO YOU RECKON I WILL BE ABLE TO LAST.
>> TODAY,.
>> James: NO I THINK I WILL BE ABLE TO DO I THINK I WILL BE
ABLE TO DO TILL MARCH.
>> Reggie: REALLY.
>> James: BEFORE I START GOING OH, MISSING OUT HERE.
>> Reggie: ONE WEEK MAKE, ONE WEEK.
>> BUT WOULD YOU GO TO YOUR COMPUTER FOR EMAILS.
>> James: NO, I AM JUST GOING TO IGNORE THE WHOLE.
>> OH, THAT'S GOING TO WORK GREAT.
>> James: I'M GOING TO IGNORE EVERYTHING.
>> BUT YOU HAVE A JOB.
>> ROB.
>> James: YOU CAN CALL ME, CALL ME F THERE SAY PROBLEM,
GIVE ME A RING LIKE THE OLD DAYS, GIVE ME A CALLING I WILL
GIVE YOU THE LAND LINE NUMBER AND THE CELL PHONE NUMBER AND
THAT IS IT.
IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION, CALL ME.
>> WHEN YOU GET TO THE OFFICE, THERE IS A COMPUTER, YOU CAN
STILL USE A COMPUTER.
>> James: I NEVER HAD A EMAIL LINKED TO THAT COMMUTER IN MY
OFFICE THAT COMPUTER HAS NEVER BEEN USED MORE THAN JUST ON THE
ZOOMS NOW, THERE IS NOTHING ON ON IT.
NO FLIES ON ME, BABY, JUST GIVE ME A RING.
THAT IS GOING TO BE THE BOUNCEBACK EMAIL.
ANY PROBLEMS, GIVE ME A CALL.
>> VOICE MAIL WILL BE ON?
>> James: NO.
>> LIVE OR NOTHING.
>> James: YEAH, SO YOU THINK I WLL LAST A WEEK.
>> I GIVE YOU WITHIN WEEK.
>> James: YOU THINK TWO DAYS.
>> I THINK I CAN EASILY BEAT BOTH OF THOSE.
I THINK YOU WILL BREAK BEFORE I DO.
>> I WILL BREAK YOUR PHONE BEFORE YOU DO.
>> James: I THINK YOU WILL BE OUTSIDE MY HOUSE SHOUTING.
YOU'VE GOT TO LOOK AT THESE SCRIPTS!
>> WITH A BOOMBOX.
>> James: I WILL BE LIKE JUST CALL ME, MAN.
>> THIS IS GOING TO BE A DISASTER.
>> James: PEACE AND LOVE, BRO, YOU ARE A FAVORITE-- IN FAVOR.
>> MY 78 YEAR OLD MOTHER HAS A PHONE LIKE THAT.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: WELL, SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN AN ICON FOR ME, YOU KNOW
THAT.
I HAVE ALWAYS THOUGHT WHAT IS SUSAN'S MOTHER DOING, AND I WILL
DO THE SAME.
>> OKAY.
>> James: YEAH.
WHAT ELSE DOES YOUR MOM LIKE DOING, SUSAN?
>> WATCHING THE NEWS.
>> James: THERE YOU GO, THAT WAS ME, DID THAT LAST NIGHT,
WE'RE BASICALLY THE SAME PERSON.
>> James: HEY, TALKING OF NEWS, ANYONE FANSING DOING A
MONOLOGUE.
IT'S LATE NIGHT, WE'VE GOT TO DO IT.
LET'S DO IT.
BECAUSE, BIG NEWS KSZ APPARENTLY, PRESIDENT TRUMP
ISN'T TAKING HIS SECOND IMPEACHMENT WELL.
ACCORDING TO REPORTS, TRUMP IS "ISOLATED AND ANGRY."
I DON'T LIKE HEARING THIS.
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT JOYFUL SOCIAL BUTTERFLY WE ALL KNOW AND
LOVE?
IMAGINE IT.
TRUMP'S PROBABLY JUST SITTING THERE IN THE OVAL OFFICE,
WRITING ANGRY NOTES ON PIECES OF PAPER, CRUMPLING THEM UP AND
THROWING THEM WHILE YELLING "TWEET!"
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GOOD TWEET!
AFTER GETTING IMPEACHED FOR INCITEMENT, TRUMP IS FEELING
TRUMP'S PROBABLY JUST SITTING THIS IS LIKE THE END OF JURASSIC
PARK, AND GET THIS, TRUMP HAS EVEN DEMANDED THAT HE PERSONALLY
APPROVE ANY OUT OF POCKET REIMBURSEMENT FOR EXPENSES
GIULIANI INCURRED WHILE HE TRAVELED THE COUNTRY CHALLENGING
ELECTION RESULTS, AND YOU KNOW TRUMP IS UP SET WHEN HE STARTING
TO MAKE CAREFUL DECISIONS WITH HIS MONEY.
TRUMP SAYS HE IS ONLY REALLY TO PAY FOR TWO SEASONS WORTH OF
TOTAL LANDSCAPING AND WITH GIULIANI ON THE OUT TRUMP IS
LOOKING FOR A NEW LAWYER TO DEFEND HIM AT HIS IMPEACHMENT
TRIAL.
TRUMP IS REPORTEDLY CONSIDERING HIRING JOHNNIESMAN.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHO JOHNNIESMAN IS, HE IS HERE
SPEAKING AT TRUMP'S RALLY RIGHT BEFORE THE RIOT.
HE BASICALLY LOOKS LIKE A TV LAWYER WHO SPECIALIZES
EXCLUSIVELY IN PEOPLE WHO GOT INJURED DURING JIMMY BUFFETT
CONCERT YOU KNOW THINGS ARE BAD IF YOU ARE IN A PHOTO WITH RUDY
GIULIANI AND YOU LOOK LIKE THE CRAZY ONE HE SOUNDS CRAZY TOO,
BY THE WAY, HE SOUNDS CRAZY, TOO.
HERE'S EASTMAN PUSHING HIS ELECTION FRAUD CONSPIRACY AT THE
RALLY LAST WEEK.
THAT NUMBER STARTED MOVING UP, THAT MEANS THEY WERE UNLOADING
THE BALLOT FROM THAT SECRET FOLDER, MATCHING THEM, MATCHING
THEM TO THE UNVOTED VOTER, AND VOILA, WE HAVE A ENOUGH VOTES TO
BARELY GET OVER THE FINISH LINE.
>> James: ALWAYS A GOOD SIGN WHEN YOUR LAWYER USES THE WORD
"VOILA."
WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT.
HE IS A DENOMINATOR, HE SOUNDS LIKE ME TRYING TO B.S.
MY WAY THROUGH A MATH TEST.
THAT GUY MIGHT BE TRUMP'S NEW LAWYER.
AT LEAST EASTMAN IS GOING TO DO ALL THE WORK PRO-BONO.
HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT YET, BUT HE IS.
AND, DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?
WITH ALL THE BACKLASH THE TRUMP FAMILY HAS BEEN FACING SINCE
LAST WEEK, DONALD TRUMP JR. AND KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE ARE MOVING
FROM NEW YORK CITY TO FLORIDA.
DON'T WORRY, NEW YORKERS, IF YOU LISTEN CLOSELY, YOU'LL STILL BE
ABLE TO HEAR KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE'S REGULAR SPEAKING
VOICE.
REGGIE, HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'LL TAKE BEFORE DON JR. OPENS
UP A TIGER ENCLOSURE?
>> Reggie: HA HA HA, I THINK, I MEAN SERIOUSLY, AND DO I MEAN
THIS SINCERELY, MAYBE LIKE THREE AND A HALF MONTHS.
>> James: NO, I THINK THEY WILL BUY THE LAND IN THREE AND A
HALF MOFNTS.
THEY WON'T MAKE A BIG THING ABOUT IT, AND IT WILL BE OPEN IN
FIVE YEARS.
>> Reggie: YEAH, I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE.
>> James: IT WILL ALL BE A FRONT FOR JUST REALLY, REALLY
VIOLENT SEX PARTIES.
WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO?
DNE ALL TRUMP INJURE AND KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE, WHAT ARE
THEY GOING TO DO NOW, DO YOU RECKON?
>> A LOT OF DRUGS.
>> James: OF COURSE THEY WILL.
OH, THE TWO OF THEM ARE JUST GOING TO BE.
>> SO LOUD, AND SO HIGH.
>> James: JUST GOING TO BE WALKING AROUND FLORIDA WITH JAWS
LIKE TYPE WRITERS.
>> Reggie: YES.
(LAUGHTER).
>> James: I DON'T MISS NEW YORK!
COME ON, KIMBERLY, WE'RE GOING OUT!
DON'T FORGET YOUR MASK.
>> SCREW THE DAMN MASK!
>> James: THEN WE'LL GET SOME TIGERS.
BASKIN VIBES.
WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY WILL DO, ROB?
>> I HONESTLY CAN'T THINK OF WHAT THEY COULD DO.
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW THAT THEY WILL GET THE MEDIA EMPIRE UP AND
RUNNING.
I THINK THEY ARE CLOSER TO THE ENTRANCE POINT FOR A LOT OF
COCAINE SO THEY COULD END UP BEING SMUGGLE ARES.
>> ALWAYS PRAGMATIC.
>> James: I THINK THEY ARE IN THERE JUST DOING ELEPHANT
DEEING-- ELEPHANT LEGS OF COCAINE AND HER JUST GOING THE
BEST IS YET TO-- COME!
>> .
>> James: HERE'S SOME GOOD NEWS FOR THOSE OF US HERE IN LOS
ANGELES.
STARTING TOMORROW, DODGER STADIUM WILL BE CONVERTED INTO A
COVID-19 VACCINATION SITE.
A LOT OF PEOPLE WILL BE GOING.
AND AND IF YOU NEED HELP USING THE
NEEDLE, MOST BASEBALL PLAYERS FROM THE '90s SHOULD BE ABLE TO
ASSIST.
THEY WON'T BE PLAYING ANY BASEBALL AT THE STADIUM, WHICH
REALLY CUTS DOWN ON THE CHANCES YOU'LL DIE OF BOREDOM WHILE
GETTING YOUR VACCINE.
AND TO MAKE THINGS AS SAFE AS POSSIBLE, CLAYTON KERSHAW WILL
BE ADMINISTERING THE VACCINES FROM 60 FEET AWAY.
YOU DON'T EVEN GET OUT OF THE CAR.
YOU DRIVE UP, AND SOMEONE SAYS, WIND THE WINDOW DRIVE AROUND THE
PARKING LOT AND HE JUST-- BANG LIKE THAT.
BANG IN THE ARM.
THAT'S IT, DONE.