Thank you for watching.

謝謝你的觀看。

[ Applause ]

[掌聲]

Well, guys, it is the last night of Donald Trump's presidency.

好了，夥計們，這是唐納德-特朗普總統任期的最後一夜。

And...

還有...

[ Band plays, cheers and applause ]

[樂隊演奏，歡呼聲和掌聲]

I don't know what tomorrow's gonna feel like.

我不知道明天會是什麼感覺。

Probably like that moment

可能就像那一刻

when they pull the nasal swab out of your nose.

當他們從你的鼻子里拉出鼻拭子的時候，

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

At least Trump is leaving on top.

至少特朗普是頂著壓力離開的。

I mean, Washington D.C. has never looked more beautiful.

我是說，華盛頓特區從來沒有這麼漂亮過。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Actually, that has nothing to do with the riots.

其實，這與騷亂無關。

Those are just some of Melania's old Christmas decorations.

這些只是梅拉尼婭的一些舊聖誕裝飾品。

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Yep, one more night.

是的，還有一個晚上。

For most Americans, it feels like the night of Thanksgiving

對於大多數美國人來說，感覺就像感恩節的夜晚一樣。

when you're just staring at your aunt and uncle thinking,

當你只是盯著你的叔叔阿姨想。

"Go home."

"回家吧。"

I think everyone is ready for Trump to move on.

我想大家都已經準備好讓特朗普繼續前進了。

This afternoon, even the Lincoln Memorial stood up

今天下午，連林肯紀念堂都站起來了

and helped Trump pack.

並幫助特朗普打包。

He's like, "I got it, I got it."

他就像，"我知道了，我知道了。"

Some people are sad to see Trump go.

有些人看到特朗普走了，很傷心。

Earlier today, the movers shook his hand and said,

今天早些時候，搬家工人握著他的手說。

"We've never moved so many people out of their offices

"我們從來沒有把這麼多的人從他們的辦公室裡搬出來過

in four years.

四年內。

You put our kids through college.

你讓我們的孩子上了大學

Thank you."

謝謝你。"

It was a touching scene at the White House tonight,

今晚在白宮，這是感人的一幕。

especially when Trump's four remaining staffers toasted him

尤其是當特朗普剩下的四名幕僚向他敬酒時

by raising a glass of bleach.

舉起一杯漂白劑。

I thought that was sweet.

我覺得這很甜蜜。

Today, all of the White House staffers

今天，所有的白宮工作人員

are signing each other's yearbooks

在對方的年鑑上簽名

with things like, "Keep in touch,"

諸如 "保持聯繫"

"Friends for life," and, "I won't testify against you

"一輩子的朋友"，"我不會指證你

if you don't testify against me."

如果你不指證我的話。"

Well, tomorrow morning, Trump's holding a farewell event

明天早上，特朗普要舉行一個告別活動。

at Joint Base Andrews.

在安德魯斯聯合基地。

I heard that everyone who's invited

聽說凡是被邀請的人

has to be there by 7:15 a.m.,

必須在早上7點15分之前到達那裡。

and they can each bring along five people.

而且他們每個人可以帶五個人一起去。

You know they're having trouble filling seats

你知道他們的座位很難填滿

when they offer everyone a plus-five.

當他們為每個人提供一個加五。

Never heard of a plus-five.

從來沒有聽說過加五的說法。

"You can come if you want. You can you bring 30 people."

"你可以來，如果你想。你可以... ...你可以帶30個人來。"

But it sounds like a great party.

但聽起來是個很棒的派對

I mean, guests have to arrive by 7:15 in the morning

我的意思是，客人必須在早上7: 15之前到達。

on a Wednesday in the middle of January

一月中旬的一個星期三

during a pandemic.

在大流行期間。

Even Craigslist actors were like, "Pass."

連Craigslist的演員都說："不幹了。"

And this is true.

而這是事實。

The guest list is so thin,

客人名單太少了。

even Anthony Scaramucci got an invite.

連安東尼・斯卡拉穆奇都收到了邀請。

You know your party is struggling

你知道你的黨在掙扎

when it's half family and half staff you fired four years ago.

四年前你解僱了一半的家人和一半的員工。

But today, Trump released a pre-recorded farewell address

但今天，特朗普發佈了事先錄製好的告別演說。

from the White House, and here are some of the highlights.

從白宮，這裡是一些亮點。

-Now as I prepare to hand power over

-在我準備交出權力的時候。

to a new administration

移交給新政府

at noon on Wednesday,

週三中午，。

I want you to know that the movement we started

我想讓你知道，我們發起的這個運動

is only just beginning.

才剛剛開始。

We did what we came here to do

我們做了我們來這裡要做的事

and so much more.

以及更多。

The world respects us again.

世界再次尊重我們。

Please don't lose that respect.

請不要失去這種尊重。

-Yeah.

-是的

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Trump said, "We did what we came here to do."

特朗普說："我們做了我們來這裡要做的事情。"

It's true. I remember his big campaign promise

這是真的。我記得他在競選時的承諾

was, "Build part of a wall and pay for it ourselves."

是，"建一部分牆，我們自己出錢。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Yep, Trump also said, "The world respects us again."

是的，特朗普還說："世界再次尊重我們"。

When he heard that, Vladimir Putin was like,

當他聽到這句話時，弗拉基米爾-普京就像。

"Yes, yes, is always good to end with joke."

"是的，是的，以玩笑結束總是好的。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

[ Applause ]

[掌聲]

"Classic, Buddy. [ Laughs ]"

"經典，巴迪。[笑]"

But today wasn't all bad.

但今天也不全是壞事。

There was actually some nice news for Trump. Listen to this.

其實對特朗普來說，還有一些好消息。聽聽這個。

-President Trump's youngest daughter has a big announcement.

-特朗普總統的小女兒要宣佈一個重大消息。

Tiffany Trump is getting married.

Tiffany Trump要結婚了。

The 27-year-old took to Instagram

27歲的他在Instagram上

to announce her happy news.

來宣佈她的喜訊。

-Trump was so sweet.

-特朗普真是太可愛了

He was like, "This week isn't about you, Tiffany!"

他說："這周不是關於你的，Tiffany！"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Asked what she's most excited for,

問她最興奮的是什麼？

Tiffany was like, "Changing last names."

蒂芙尼很喜歡，"改變姓氏。"

Some entertainment news.

一些娛樂新聞。

Last night was an all-new episode of "The Bachelor,"

昨晚是 "單身漢 "的全新一集。

and Serena had a one-on-one date with Matt.

和Serena與Matt進行了一對一的約會。

And the date was going well

約會進行得很順利

until an unexpected visitor showed up.

直到一個不速之客出現。

Watch this.

看這個。

-The feelings that I'm already having for you,

-我對你的感情已經有了。

like, throughout this experience is like,

像，整個這個體驗是像。

they're real.

他們是真實的。

♪♪

♪♪

[ Donkey brays ]

[驢叫聲]

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

-All that was missing was a graphic that said,

-只缺一張圖，上面寫著：

"Donkey, age 7, social media influencer."

"驢子，7歲，社交媒體影響者。"

Yep, now along with herpes,

是的，現在隨著皰疹。

"The Bachelor" has to worry about foot-and-mouth disease.

"單身漢 "要擔心口蹄疫。

Hey, check this out.

嘿，看看這個。

I saw that Nissan has designed a new concept van

我看到日產設計了一款新的概念車。

intended to serve as a mobile office for remote workers.

旨在作為遠程工作者的移動辦公室。

Take a look at this.

看看這個。

Yeah. And this is cool.

是啊，這很酷。而這是很酷。

It comes with a bumper sticker that says,

它帶有一個保險槓貼紙，上面寫著。

"I didn't get custody."

"我沒有得到監護權。"

[ Laughter ]

[笑聲]

Yep, Nissan will release the car

是的，日產將發佈該車

right after everyone is vaccinated

等到大家都打完疫苗之後

and returns to the office.

並返回辦公室。

We have a great show.

我們有一個偉大的節目。

give it up for The Roots everybody.

大家為 "根 "樂隊歡呼吧