OHH. OH, MAN.

I HOPE YOU KNOW YOU'RE CLEANING THAT UP, LAWRENCE.

UNLESS YOU WANT ANOTHER REASON TO BE SUSPENDED.

ANYWHO, WE'RE OFF FOR A QUICK JAUNT ROUND THE RACQUETBALL COURT.

DON'T WAIT UP, BABY CAT.

LAW? DID YOU HEAR ME?

SAID WE'RE GETTING SNACKS.

DO YOU WANT SNACKS?

WELL, BYE.

JENNY! HI!

UM, SO YOU KNOW HOW I'M UNDECLARED RIGHT NOW?

WELL, I WAS THINKING THAT I WOULD SHADOW FPS TOMORROW.

THAT IS SO AWESOME!

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU THERE.

Ted: HEY, GALS.

Ted: LET'S DO IT!

IS SOMETHING BURNING?

I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE'S MAKING US PRACTICE THROUGH BRUNCH.

YEAH, JENNY, TELL YOUR MOM MY STOMACH SAID,

"HEY, THIS IS YOUR STOMACH, JUMPIN' JACKS,

AND I'M HUNGRY, SO TELL JENNY."

YEAH, I'LL BE SURE AND PASS THAT ALONG.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME, WHAT DO I DO WITH THESE DONUTS?

OHHH!

DONUTS! SWEET! WHAT?

Jumpin' Jacks: SORRY, BRIAN.

SORRY.

HERE?

DROP THOSE DONUTS, SUGARPLUMS.

BEHOLD THE MARY MATRIX DIET.

THAT'S RIGHT. HEALTHY FOOD FOREVER.

EVERY TIME YOU STUFF THOSE LITTLE FACES WITH JUNK FOOD,

YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON THORINE, OMEGA-3S, ANTIOXIDANTS.

IT'S KILLING YOUR REACTION TIME.

OBSERVE.

FIT BODIES, FIT MINDS.

WHICH REMINDS ME,

30 LAPS AROUND THE QUAD BEFORE LUNCH.

BUT WE'RE STARVING!

GET A MOVE ON! GO!

GO, GO, GO!

BRIAN, STAY.

SO HOW IS IT LIVING WITH LAW?

ACTUALLY, I'M GLAD YOU ASK.

UM, NOT TOO HOT.

WELL, ACTUALLY IT IS TOO HOT

BECAUSE, UH, HE SET FIRE TO MY ROOM.

REALLY? HE SOUNDS MISERABLE. GOOD WORK, KID.

YEAH, I GUESS, BUT...

WAIT. THAT'S WHY YOU MADE HIM MY ROOMMATE?

I KNEW LIVING WITH YOU WOULD REMIND HIM

OF WHAT A FAILURE HE IS.

BETWEEN YOU AND ME, HE'S THE WORST GUY THAT JENNY EVER DATED.

OH, WELL, BETWEEN YOU AND ME, HE SET FIRE TO MY ROOM.

YOU JUST BEING CUTE, OR YOU TALKING BACK TO ME?

BETTER GO RUN LAPS NOW.

MMM.

WHICH BRINGS US TO THE CRUX OF THE QUERY:

HOW FAST SHOULD CAR "A's" SPEED BE GOING INTO TURN 7?

PICK ME! PICK ME, I'M AWESOME!

THEODORE, THE COURT IS YOURS.

GIVEN HIS ENTRY LINE, HE SHOULD BE GOING 55 MILES PER HOUR.

YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

HOW 'BOUT 48 MILES PER HOUR?

BRAVO, CLUTCH. THREE HUNDRED YARDS.

YEAH!

YOU HAVE PASSED THE SODA STAR.

SODA STAR!

AW, MAN! THERE'S NO POP!

THE FIZZY RIVER RUNS DRY?

SOMETHING'S AMISS.

WHERE ARE PISTON AND DOMINO PRIME?

PISTON! AND YOU, DOMINO PRIME!

W-WHAT HAPPENED?

THE DUCHESS?

SHE AND HER KART GOONS KNEW OF OUR PLAN

TO RAID THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE.

THEY AMBUSHED US AND TOOK THE SODA,

BUT WE HAVE THE KEY.

OHH.

FOR THIS I AM GLAD.

BUT ALAS, THE DUCHESS OF KART HAS RENDERED US SODALESS.

OUR THROATS SHALL REMAIN PARCHED FOR A WEEK.

PERHAPS EVEN TWO.

TRULY THIS IS OUR DARKEST HOUR.

I'LL GET THE SODAS.

I CAN DO IT, D.K. I WAS BORN TO.

FAT CHANCE, DINGUS.

THOSE 'SHROOMED-UP KART SHARKS WILL EAT YOU ALIVE.

PERHAPS, CHILD.

BUT PER ANOTHER HAP,

THIS MAY BE THEODORE'S CHANCE

TO PROVE HIS QUALITY.

DRIFT LIKE THE WIND, LITTLE ONE.

YOU CARRY THE FATE OF US ALL.

THEY'RE BOTH RED AND HEALTHY.

JUST PICK ONE, KID.

OH. SORRY.

WAIT, WHAT?

BRIAN D! GET YOUR ASS TO MY OFFICE!

DOUBLE TIME!

AW, MAN.

NEXT.

SO, ALLISON, YOU'RE LOSING.

THAT'S NICE. HEY, QUICK Q.

YOU KNOW ANY BRASSERIES THAT DO LAST-MINUTE LUNCH REZZIES?

I COULD REALLY CRUSH A GOOD WINE-AND-CHEESE PAIRING

AFTER YOU GIVE ME THOSE TWO G's.

SORRY, SHANE. THE ONLY THING ON THE MENU IS A FLANK STEAK.

OH. IS THAT YOU FLANKING ME, OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING

TO MAKE THE WHOLE FOOD JOKE THING WORK?

EITHER WAY I'M WINNING, SO, ABOUT THOSE TWO G's,

IF YOU COULD JUST TYPE THEM IN NOW FOR ME.

"G" FOR "GOOD."

OKAY, NOW "G" FOR "GAME."

COME ON, ALLIE-GATOR.

GIMME THE GAME.

GIMME THE GAME.

ACTUALLY, HIS PLANES CAN'T REFUEL,

SO IF YOU REGROUP IN THE MOUNTAINS TO THE SOUTH--

OKAY, GUYS, WHO'S THE NERD?

OH. KI SWAN, 1,500 POINTS. EX-RHYTHM GAMER.

I HAVE BEEN SHADOWING CLASSES ALL DAY LONG,

AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT RTS IS THE FIRST ONE

THAT HAS REALLY SPOKEN TO ME, WHICH IS WHY I'M SPEAKING NOW,

AND I WOULD BE HONORED TO TRY OUT FOR YOUR TEAM.

I DON'T KNOW, KI. ARE YOU COOL?

I NEVER THOUGHT SO, NO.

IT'S NOT COOL TO TELL THE TRUTH.

BUT WE'LL GIVE IT TO THE FLOOR. BUY OR SELL?

-SHE DOESN'T EVEN WEAR A SUIT. -SHE LOOKS LIKE A SQUARE.

OH, SHE'S NICE ONCE YOU GET TO KNOW HER.

SHE TALKS ABOUT HERSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON.

All: SELL THIS TURKEY!

SORRY, KI. GO SUCK SOMEWHERE ELSE.

NOTHING BETTER THAN A FOURTH TACO, YOU FEEL ME?

-YOU LOST YOUR SCHOLARSHIP. -WHAT?

AFTER THE LAW'S FIASCO,

THE NEA PULLED THE GOLDEN GUN GRANT,

SO...

YEAH.

IT'S ALL HERE.

HO-KAY.

I HAVE NO MONEY, SO IS THERE LIKE, UH,

LIKE A WORK-STUDY PROGRAM I COULD DO?

LIKE, MAYBE I COULD START IN THE LIBRARY AND DO SOME FILING.

OR, HEY, DO YOU NEED A PERSONAL ASSISTANT?

I MAKE A MEAN CUP OF JOE.

WHAT...?

A JANITOR!

WHEN DO I START?

YOU CAN START NOW, WITH ALL THAT.

SO YOU WANT ME TO JUST, LIKE, PUT IT BACK?

HA!

IT'S TUBULAR!

YES!

-WHO'S IN THIS BOX?

MR. WONG?

YOUR CAR'S GETTING TOWED.

I LEFT THE HAZARDS ON!

HE'S GONE. YOU CAN COME OUT.

HEY, THANKS FOR THE SAVE BACK THERE.

OH, UM... MY NAME IS TED.

WHAT'S YOURS?

YOU'RE WELCOME.

OH, MY GOD! I JUST CHEATED ON KI!

I'M A TERRIBLE NINJA.

TED, YOUR ENTIRE FLOOR IS YELLING AT ME

ABOUT SOME GUY ACTING GROSS IN THE STUDY ROOM,

SO JUST ACT LIKE AN R.A. FOR ONCE AND DEAL WITH IT.

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? -GET OUT OF MY ROOM.

I AM OUT OF YOUR ROOM. THIS IS TED'S ROOM.

NO, TED MOVED IN WITH BRIAN,

AND JENNY NEVER SHOWED ME MY ROOM,

SO I MOVED INTO TED'S ROOM.

WHY IS THAT SO HARD FOR PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND?

I UNDERSTAND. TELL TED HE'S FIRED...

-...AND YOU'RE HIS REPLACEMENT. -WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

ACTUALLY, AS HEAD R.A., I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT, PROBABLY.

EITHER WAY, LOOKS LIKE YOU FOUND YOURSELF SOMETHING TO DO, KI.

HERE. TRYING TO GET RID OF THESE.

BUSINESS CARDS. SO LAST YEAR.

YOUR NAME IS SHANE PIZZA?

THAT'S DUMB!

FLIP IT OVER.

YOU KNOW...

I WAS VOTED "PETITE ELITE'S" HUNKIEST TEEN GAMER.

WELL, LOOK AT ME NOW, WENDELL!

I DON'T WANT TO, OKAY? I JUST WANT TO STUDY.

YOU LOOK AT ME, WENDELL!

EXCUSE ME.

HI.

LAW?

I THINK YOU SHOULD GO BE GROSS SOMEWHERE ELSE NOW.

UM, OKAY, SO IF YOU COULD JUST STOP--

LAW, COULD YOU, UM--

WELL, NOW, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF SOMEONE--

YOU'RE BEING VERY RUDE.

LAW, THIS IS AN INAPPROPRIATE USE OF THE COMMON AREA,

AND YOU ARE DISRESPECTING YOUR FELLOW STUDENTS,

AND AS NEWLY NAMED R.A.,

I DEMAND THAT YOU LEAVE.

OH! YOU'RE THE R.A. NOW.

-THAT'S RIGHT. -HOW INTERESTING.

WELL, WE GOTTA UPHOLD THE RULES AROUND HERE, RIGHT, WENDELL?

WE ALL KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THE LAW IS AROUND HERE!

WOW. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I EVER SAW IN THAT GUY.

-SMELLS LIKE BANANAS. -THANKS, KI.

YOU'RE WELCOME, WENDELL.

EAT LATER, BRIAN! TWENTY LAPS BEFORE PRACTICE. LET'S GO!

COME ON, BRIAN, THE JANITOR WILL GET IT.

D.K.: THEODORE WONG...

FOR QUENCHING THE THIRST OF YOUR TEAMMATES

AND RISKING CERTAIN DETENTION IN THE PROCESS,

I AWARD YOU 3,000 YARDS.

WAY TO GO, TED!

CLUTCH, AN ICE-COOL COLA FOR TED.

I BELIEVED IN YOU ALL ALONG, TED.

SO, REGALE US WITH YOUR TALES OF DERRING-DO.

OKAY.

SO, THERE I WAS,

OPENING THE DOOR TO THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE,

AND THEN TAKING ALL THE SODAS,

AND THEN LEAVING.

OH? UH...

ANY COMPLICATIONS?

ANY AROUSALS?

WHAT? NO, NEVER!

I'D NEVER HURT KI.

AH, WHICH REMINDS ME. MY KEY.

THE MOST PRECIOUS OF MY ITEMS.

OH, UM, IT'S... JUST... IT'S...

RIGHT OVER HERE, D.K.

DUCHESS! YOU FIEND!

D.K., YOU'RE SO CUTE WHEN YOU'RE ANGRY.

CUTE? DON'T LECTURE ME ABOUT CUTE

WHEN YOUR GAME HAS A BANANA ON THE COVER,

AND ANYTIME SOMEONE GETS HIT,

THEY GO, "OW WOW WOW WOW WOW."

WE'RE NOT GETTING INTO THIS AGAIN.

ENJOY YOUR HIGH HORSE. WE'LL ENJOY OUR SODAS.

KARTERS, LET'S BOOST.

- LET'S GO. -I'M THE BEST!

THANKS FOR LAST NIGHT, HOTLIPS.

COME BY FOR A DRINK SOMETIME.

THEODORE! I'M NOT SURE WHAT SORT OF

MODERN ARRANGEMENTS YOU AND KI HAVE,

BUT YOU HAVE HURT ME MORE DEEPLY THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE.

D.K., I--

I ALWAYS HATED YOU, TED.

MY FIRST SUGGESTION!

OH, IT'S A COMPLAINT.

HUH.

The Law: "DEAR KI, I'D LIKE TO APOLOGIZE

FOR BEING TOTALLY RUDESVILLE IN THE STUDY LOUNGE,

BUT I'D ALSO LIKE TO FILE A FORMAL COMPLAINT

AGAINST TED WONG (YOUR BOYFRIEND? IRRELEVANT)

FOR ILLEGALLY SQUATTING IN MY DORM.

YOU SEE, TED NEVER OFFICIALLY MOVED IN WITH BRIAN.

I DID.

AND TED-- WELL, HE'S YOUR KISSIN' BUDDY,

I DON'T NEED TO TELL YOU HOW BAD HE SMELLS. PHEW!!

WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE I WROTE 'PHEW' IN A LETTER.

WELL, ANYWAY, IT'S YOUR DUTY AS R.A. TO KICK HIM OUT.

SINCERELY..."

THE LAW!

HA HA HA HA HA HA!

I JUST DID THAT.

WATCHING YOU PLAY NOW MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP.

YES, MA'AM.

I'M SORRY, MA'AM.

YOU CAN DO THIS. DON'T THINK ABOUT FOOD.