CALIFORNIA, THIS NOT THE DEAL I MADE WHEN I MOVED HERE.

加利福尼亞州，這不是我搬到這裡時的交易。

IT SNOWED IN MALIBU OVER THE WEEKEND.

上週末馬里布下了雪。

PEOPLE WERE LIKE FROZEN SOLID IN THEIR YOGA POSES.

人們就像凍僵的固體在他們的瑜伽姿勢。

SNOW IN MALIBU.

在馬里布的雪。

I LIKE IT, IT SOUNDS LIKE A MILEY CYRUS RECORD.

我喜歡它，它聽起來像一個MILEY CYRUS記錄。

ONE WOMAN IN MALIBU, DID YOU SEE ONE WOMAN IN MALIBU EVEN WENT

一個女人在馬里布，你看到了一個女人在馬里布甚至去了

SLEDDING.

SLEDDING。

WHERE DO YOU-- WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET A SLED IN MALIBU?

你在哪裡... 你在哪裡可以得到一個SLED在馬里布？

DO YOU BUY ONE AND THEN JUST HOLD ON TO IT AND USE IT ONCE

你是否買了一個，然後就抱著它使用一次？

EVERY 20 YEARS.

每20年一次。

LIKE YOU ARE LAUGHING NOW BUT YOU'LL SEE.

就像你現在在笑，但你會看到。

DO YOU WANT TO LOOK AT SOME HEADLINES, OR JUST TALK ABOUT

你是想看看一些標題，還是隻想談談。

THE SNOW, HEADLINES?

雪，頭條新聞？

ABSOLUTE TRIUMPH.

絕對的勝利。

>> BUT THEY FOG UP ALL THE TIME.

>> 但它們總是起霧。

>> James: THEY FOG UP, ARE THEY REAL OR JUST FOR LIKE

>> 詹姆斯。它們起霧了，是真的還是假的？

GUILLERMO.

GUILLERMO：

>> PURELY FOR WORKS.

>> 純粹是為了工作。

>> James: WELL, IT IS WORKING, I TELL THAT YOU.

>> 詹姆斯。好了，它的工作，我告訴你。

>> THANK YOU.

>> 謝謝你。

>> James: REG, IF YOU GOT SOMETHING UNDER YOUR EYE, NEW

>> 詹姆斯。REG，如果你的眼睛下面有東西，新的。

GLASSES?

眼鏡？

>> WHAT I HAVE GOT IS SOME NICE, THEY'RE NANO TECH EYE PATCHES

>> 我得到的是一些好東西，它們是納米技術眼貼。

THAT ARE ABLE TO KIND OF BLEND WITH MY SKIN, SUPPOSED TO GIVE

能夠與我的皮膚融為一體的東西，應該會給我帶來驚喜。

YOU A BOOST.

你的升壓。

>> James: OKAY, GET IT IS THE IDEA NOT TO USE THEM AND THEN

>> 詹姆斯。好吧，得到它的想法是不使用它們，然後。

TAKE THEM OFF WHEN THE SHOW STARTS.

演出開始後再脫掉。

>> OFTENTIMES BUT THEY FEEL LIKE THEY'RE NOT EVEN ON ANY MORE SO

>> 有時，但他們覺得他們不在任何更多，所以

I WILL FORGET.

我會忘記的。

(LAUGHTER) SOMETIMES.

(笑)有時。

>> James: I DO THOSES EVERY NIGHT, I PUT SOME OF THOSE ON, I

>> 詹姆斯。我每天晚上都做這些，我把其中的一些上，我。

DO ZEN AND I DO, HAVE YOU SEEN THE INFRARED MASKS, I DO THAT.

禪宗和我，你有沒有看到資訊面具，我做的。

>> WHOA, THAT'S COOL.

>> 哇，那是很酷。

>> James: YEAH, BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY 63.

>> 詹姆斯。是的，因為我實際上已經63歲了。

SO NO ONE KNOWS.

所以沒有人知道。

63.

63.

BECAUSE I'M HOPING, I'M HOPEFUL THAT THIS IS THE YEAR I LOSE

因為我希望，我希望今年是我失去的一年。

SOME WEIGHT.

一些重量。

AND MY WORRY IS IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME, I WILL LOSE WEIGHT

我擔心的是，它是要發生在我身上，我會失去重量

AND SUDDENLY I WILL LOOK 46.

漸漸地，我就會發現46。

YOU KNOW, I CAN GET AWAY, NO ONE KNOWS, I COULD BE 36, YOU DON'T

你知道，我可以離開，沒有人知道，我可能是36歲，你不知道。

KNOW.

知道。

>> BABYFACE.

>> BABYFACE。

>> James: EXACTLY BUT WHEN THE FAT GOES, I'M LIKE--'S AGE.

>> 詹姆斯。但是，當脂肪去，我喜歡 - 的年齡。

HE LOST ALL THAT WEIGHT BUT UNHERE HE'S LIKE MITCH

他失去了所有的重量，但在那裡，他就像米奇。

McCONNELL.

麥康奈爾：

DID YOU SEE THIS, THE COMPANY THAT MAKES DOMINION VOTING

你看到了嗎，這家公司製造了統治投票。

MACHINES IS SUING RUDY GIULIANI OVER ALL OF THE FALSE ELECTION

機械公司就所有的假選舉起訴魯迪-吉利安尼。

CLAIMS THAT HE MADE.

他提出的要求：

AND THEY'RE ASKING FOR $1.3 BILLION.

他們要價13億美金。

YEAH.

是的。

AND IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.

而且看起來不怎麼好。

THE LAWYER DEFENDING RUDY GIULIANI IS RUDY GIULIANI.

為魯迪-朱利亞尼辯護的律師是魯迪-朱利亞尼。

RUDY'S LIES ON BEHALF OF DONALD TRUMP COULD COST HIM MORE THAN A

魯迪對唐納德-特朗普的謊言可能會讓他損失慘重。

BILLION DOLLARS.

十億美金。

BUT HEY, AT LEAST HE'LL ALWAYS HAVE HIG DIGNITY.

但是，至少他永遠有高難度。

1.3-- YOU KNOW WHAT RUDY GIULIANI COULD HAVE BOUGHT WITH

1.3 -- 你知道魯迪-朱利亞尼可以用什麼買到嗎？

1.3 BILLION DOLLARS?

13億美金？

>> WOW, ALL THE NETWORKS!

>> 哇，所有的網絡！

>> James: PROBABLY TIME TO GET RID OF THAT BUTTON NOW, ISN'T

>> 詹姆斯。也許是時候擺脫那個按鈕了，不是嗎？

IT, I IMAGINE.

它，我想象。

IT WAS AN OBSCURE REFERENCE EVEN BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

它是一個模糊的參考 甚至在聖誕節前。

I THINK WE NEED TO UPDATE, WHAT SHOULD WE REPLACE THAT BUTTON

我想我們需要更新，我們應該用什麼來代替那個按鈕呢？

WITH, WHAT SHOULD WE DO?

與，我們該怎麼做？

WHAT SHOULD WE PUT IN THERE.

我們應該把什麼放在那裡。

WE HAVE LARGE, WHICH IS THIS.

我們有大的，這是這個。

(APPLAUSE) I THINK THAT IS A KEEPER, WE

我想這是個好機會，我們...

KEEP THAT THROUGHOUT.

把它貫穿始終。

THEN WE'VE GOT THIS.

然後我們就有了這個。

OOOOHHH.

OOOOHHH。

THAT IS ONE OF OUR MANY POLITICAL TAKEOUTS.

這是我們眾多的政治舉措之一。

REVERBERATE ACROSS D.C..

逆轉整個華盛頓特區。

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

你知道我的意思。

AND WE DO.

我們也是。

WHEN WE LAY OUT A ZINGER YOU CAN FEEL IT.

當我們提出了一個刺耳的聲音，你可以感覺到它。

AND THEN IT'S TWO IN THE MIDDLE.

然後是兩個人在中間。

BECAUSE WE HAVE ALL THE NETWORKS AND WE'VE ALSO STILL GO.

因為我們有所有的網絡，我們也還會去。

>> DA VINCI?

>> DA VINCI?

WHICH AGAIN, YOU CAN KEEP T I THINK IT'S DEAD NOW, I THINK

我想它現在已經死了，我想...

IT'S TOASES.

這是吐司。

I THINK IT'S TOAST.

我認為這是烤麵包。

>> DA VINCI OR ALL THE NETWORKS.

>> 達文西或所有的網絡。

>> James: BOTH, I THINK WE ARE LOOKING AT TWO REPLACEMENTS.

>> 詹姆斯。我想我們要找兩個替補。

>> WHAT ABOUT KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE.

>> 金伯利-吉魯福爾怎麼了？

>> James: NOW THEY HAVE DONE, THEY ARE TOAST, THEY ARE PEOPLE,

>> James:現在，他們已經做了，他們已經完蛋了，他們是人。

LET'S MOVE ON.

讓我們繼續前進。

>> I HEAR YOU.

>> 我聽到了。

>> James: WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT.

>> 詹姆斯。你還得到了什麼。

(HORSE NEYING).

(HORSE NEYING).

>> THAT'S USEFUL.

>> 那是有用的。

>> James: WHY HAVE YOU GOT THIS?

>> 詹姆斯。你為什麼得到這個？

WHY DO YOU-- -- WHY HAVE YOU GOT THOSE SOUNDS?

你為什麼... ... -- 你為什麼會有這些聲音？

YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL DRUMMER.

你是一個專業的鼓手。

WITHIN I JUST HAVE A FEW TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE.

在我內心深處，我只是有一些技巧在我的袖子上。

>> James: SURE, I LIKE THAT.

>> 詹姆斯。當然，我喜歡這樣。

YOU KEEP YOUR TRICKS AND DON'T COME CLOSE TO MY TRICKS.

你留著你的把柄，別靠近我的把柄。

WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

我們會想出辦法的

STEVE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

史蒂夫，你怎麼看？

(LAUGHTER).

(笑)：

>> James: DO YOU KNOW WHAT, GO TO BED, GO TO BED.

>> 詹姆斯：你知道嗎，去睡覺，去睡覺。

HONESTLY, YOU WON'T FIND ANY OTHER-- DO YOURSELF A FAVOR,

老實說，你不會找到其他的 -- 幫你自己一個忙。

RIGHT.

右邊。

PLEASE, IT'S THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF.

拜託，這是你能給自己的最好的禮物。

UNLESS YOU JUST [BLEEP] LOVE HOLDING SO MUCH, GIVE YOURSELF A

除非你只是[嗶]愛持有這麼多，給自己一個。

BREAK, TRY AND GET A SOLID SEVEN OR EIGHT HOURS, YOU KNOW, THAT'S

休息一下，嘗試一下，得到一個堅實的7到8小時，你知道，那是。

THE LEVEL.

該級別：

JUST LET YOURSELF, JUST THINK TAKE A MEL TONEI-- MELATONIN, DO

讓你自己去想，想一想，拿一個MEL TONEI--MELATONIN，做。

WHATEVER YOU HAVE GOT TO DO.

無論你要做什麼。

THIS IS A WASTE OF YOUR TIME.

這是在浪費你的時間。

(LAUGHTER) OKAY.

(笑)好的。

NOW THIS EVENING HOUSE MANAGERS CARRIED THE ARTICLES OF

現在，今晚的房屋管理員通過了下列文件

IMPEACHMENT AGAINST DONALD TRUMP OVER TO THE SENATE FOR TRIAL.

對唐納德-特朗普的彈劾移交給參議院進行審判。

HERE THEY ARE HERE.

在這裡，他們在這裡。

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

WHO KNEW THAT A PHOTO OF SOMETHING SO EXCITING COULD BE

誰知道這麼激動人心的事情的照片會是

SO BORING?

這麼無聊？

I KNOW THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A HUGE DEAL AND THERE IS A LOT OF

我知道這顯然是一個很大的交易，有很多的。

TRADITION AND CEREMONY BUT I SAW THE PHOTO AND I HON-- HONESTLY

傳統和儀式，但我看到了照片，我HON -- HONESTLY。

CAN'T THEY JUST X OVER A-- CONVICTION IN THE SENATE IS

難道他們就不能在參議院的定罪上做文章嗎？

STARTING TO LOOK UNLIKE, MORE AND MORE REPUBLICAN SENATORS

開始看起來不像，越來越多的共和黨參議員。

SEEM TO BE RALLYING AROUND THE DEFENSE THAT CONVICTION IS

似乎正在聚集在一起的防守，CONVICTION是。

UNDUB-- UNNECESSARY BECAUSE TRUMP IS ALREADY OUT OF OFFICE.

不需要，因為特朗普已經下臺了。

I MEAN SURE, HIS SUPPORTERS WERE LOOKING FOR SOME OF YOU WITH

我的意思是，他的支持者在找你們中的一些人。

TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS BUT COME ON, THAT WAS LIKE THREE WEEKS

火炬和PITCHFORKS，但來吧，這就像三個星期。

AGO.

AGO：

REPUBLICANS SAY THE REASON WHY THERE HAVE BEEN NINE NIGHTMARE

共和黨人說，為什麼會有九個夜晚？

O ELM STREET MOVIES.

O ELM STREET電影。

SO HE IS GONE NOW, THAT WAS AGES AGO, LET'S GET BACK TO THE

所以他現在走了，那是幾年前的事了，讓我們回去吧。

SLUMBER PARTY, SHALL WE?

卑鄙小人派對，我們可以嗎？

(LAUGHTER) I LOVE THEM GOING NO, NO, HE'S

我喜歡他們去不，不，他是。

NOT IN OFFICE ANY MORE, SO WE DON'T NEED TO CON VUCT HIM.

不在辦公室了，所以我們不需要給他做手術。

LIKE SOMEONE BURNING DOWN YOUR HOUSE, WE SHOULD FIND THE PERSON

就像有人燒燬了你的房子，我們應該找到那個人。

WHO DID THIS, THE HOUSE IS GONE NEW, LET IT GO.

是誰幹的，房子已經煥然一新了，讓它去吧。

LET'S FOCUS, LET'S FOCUS ON BUILDING A NEW HOUSE.

讓我們集中精力，讓我們集中精力建造一棟新的房子。

OF COURSE YOU OUR U.K. VIEWER NOSE TONIGHT IS BURNS NIGHT, THE

當然，你我們的英國觀眾鼻子今晚是燒傷的夜晚。

SCOTTISH SELL BRITISH OF ROBERT BURNS POET, IN HONOR THIS IS

蘇格蘭銷售英國的羅伯特-伯恩斯詩人，為了紀念這一點。

TRUE A PACKET OF HAGGIS WAS LAUNCHED INTO SPACE.

一包海吉士被髮射到太空中。

DON'T BELIEVE ME, HAVE A LOOK FOR YOURSELF.

不要相信我，看看你自己。

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

I'M NOT SURE I FOLLOW THE THINKING HERE.

我不確定我是否聽懂了這裡的想法。

HOW SHOULD WE CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF A BELOVED 18th CENTURY

我們該如何慶祝一位18世紀的摯愛之人的一生？

POET.

詩人：

SPACE HAGGIS?

空間海吉士？

TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.

把話語權從我嘴裡說出來。

LET'S DO IT.

讓我們做吧。

IMAGINE BEING IN A SCOTTISH MISSION CONTROL, OKAY, WE'RE

想象一下，在蘇格蘭的任務指揮部裡，好的，我們是。

READY TO LAUNCH.

準備啟動。

RIGHT, HERE WE GO.

好了，我們走吧。

TEN, NINE, DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU FAT BASTAR.

十，九，不要這樣看著我，你這個胖子混蛋。

>> EIGHT, SEVEN.

>> 八，七。

>> I WILL FINISH THIS WITH FIST, IL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW SIX, FIVE,

>> 我要用拳頭來結束這一切，我現在就告訴你，六，五。

[BLEEP] LET'S GO.

[BLEEP] 讓我們去。

(LAUGHTER) DID EVERYBODY SEE THIS, A TRUCK

(笑)大家都看到了嗎，一輛卡車。

IN SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, CARRYING MILLIONS OF HONEYBEES FLIPPED

在德克薩斯州的聖安東尼奧，載著數百萬只蜜蜂飛來飛去。

OVER ON THE INTERSTATE CAUSING LENGTHY DELAYS.

在高速公路上造成長時間的延誤。

THE HUGE STORY AROUND SAN ANTONIO.

聖安東尼奧周圍的大故事。

THE WHOLE TOWN WAS BUZZING.

整個城市都在喧囂。

YOU GLAD YOU STAYED UP NOW, AREN'T YOU.

你很高興你現在還沒走，是嗎？

(LAUGHTER) HOW DID YOU GET A MILLION BEES

你是怎麼得到一百萬只蜜蜂的？

IN A TRUCK.

在一輛卡車上。

NOT A QUICK QUESTION, THIS IS A GENUINE QUESTION.

不是一個快速的問題，這是一個真正的問題。

>> Reggie: YOU JUST HAVE TO OFFER SOMETHING THAT IS

>> 雷吉：你只需要提供一些東西，是。

INTERESTING FOR THEM TO GO ON A TRIP.

有興趣讓他們去旅行。

>> James: OH, YOU-- REALLY.

>> 詹姆斯。哦，你 - 真的。

>> Reggie: YEAH.

>> 雷吉：YEAH。

>> James: I COULD SEE YOU AS A BEEKEEPER.

>> 詹姆斯。我可以看到你作為一個養蜂人。

>> I LIKE THE FASHION, YEAH, I WOULD LIKE THE FASHION, I DON'T

>> 我喜歡時尚，是的，我也喜歡時尚，我不喜歡。

KNOW-- YEAH, I LIKE THE FASHION.

知道 - 是的，我喜歡的時尚。

I HAVE NEVER BEEN STUNNING BY A BEE.

我從來沒有被蜜蜂嚇到過。

>> James: YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN STUNNING BY A BEE.

>> 詹姆斯。你從來沒有被一隻蜜蜂嚇到過。

>> KNOCK ON WOOD.

>> 敲木頭。

>> James: ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO IT ON THE SHOW BECAUSE WE

>> 詹姆斯。你準備在節目中做，因為我們...

DON'T HAVE AN ACT 2 ON WEDNESDAY.

週二沒有第二幕。

>> Reggie: LET MAY THINK ABOUT THAT.

>> 讓我們考慮一下。

>> James: BRING IN THE BEES.

>> 詹姆斯。把蜜蜂帶進來。

IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME THAT IF I AM EVER DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD

我從來沒有想過，如果我開車沿路行駛時

THAT I MIGHT BE DRIVING NEXT TO A TRUCK FULL OF BEES.

我可能會開車旁邊 一輛滿載蜜蜂的卡車。

>> Reggie: CRAZY.

>> 瘋了。

>> James: IT MAKES THE WORLD A TEENY BIT MORE MAGICAL, DOESN'T

>> 詹姆斯。這讓世界多了幾分神奇，不是嗎？

IT?

IT？

I HAVE NEVER BEEN DRIVING THINKING OH LOOK, A TRUCK.

我從來沒有在開車的時候想，哦，看，一輛卡車。

YOU KNOW WHEN ARE YOU DRIVING OH, TRUCK, WHEN CAN I GET PAST T

你知道你什麼時候開車，哦，卡車，我什麼時候能過去？

NOW I WILL LOOK AT THAT, A MILLION BEES IN.

現在我要看看，一百萬只蜜蜂在。

THERE HERE'S A CRAZY STORY OUT OF OKLAHOMA.

這裡有一個瘋狂的故事 從俄克拉荷馬州。

A STATE REPRESENTATIVE HAS INTRODUCED A BILL THAT WOULD

一位州議員提出了一項法案，該法案將：

ESTABLISH A HUNTING SEASON, I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP, A HUNTING

建立一個狩獵季節，我不是在瞎編，狩獵

SEASON FOR BIG FOOT.

大腳的季節。

IF IT PASSED AN OFFICIAL BIG FOOT HUNTING SEASON WOULD BE

如果它通過了官方的大腳獵季，將是：

CREATED COMPLETE WITH HUNTING FEES AND LICENSES, DO WE NEED A

創建完整的狩獵費和許可證，我們是否需要一個。

LICENSE FOR THIS?

許可證的這個？

IF SOMEONE CAPTURES BIG FOOT F THEY DO T IF THEY CAPTURE BIG

如果有人抓到大腳F，他們就會做大腳F。

FOOT ARE WE GOING TO BE LIKE WHAT, YOU DIDN'T, OH MY GOD,

腳是我們要像什麼， 你沒有，哦，我的上帝。

THIS IS AMAZING.

這是一個驚人的。

WOW, YOU JUST, OH, DON'T WANT TO BE A STICK LETTER, DO YOU HAVE A

哇，你只是，哦，不想成為一個棒的字母，你有一個。

LICENSE.

許可證：

THE OKLAHOMA LEGISLATURE WILL NOW VOTE ON THE MEASURE, SO FAR

俄克拉荷馬州議會現在將對該措施進行投票，目前為止。

ONLY ONE STATE REPRESENTATIVE IS ON RECORD AS VOTING NO.

只有一名州代表記錄在案，投了反對票。

STILL IT IS BETTER THAN MITCH McCONNELL.

還是比MITCH McCONNELL好。