♪music♪

Are you ready Wolfy?

Yeah?

Yeah [laughter]

So it's been a crazy last five months

If you don't already know

we just recently released a video

of Wolfy and his "Day in the Life"

a few weeks ago

We will leave links in the description

This whole process the last five months

has kind of opened our eyes

to how Japanese raise their children

And we wanted to specifically talk about that in this video

Maiko is Japanese

I am Filipino-American raised in the States

We wanted to share

what we're going through here in Japan

trying to raise Wolfy

You know some of the surprises

that we've had along the way,

especially surprises for me because Maiko grew up in Japan

so she experienced a lot of this,

but this is what the stereotypical

way to raise a Japanese kid would be

But again it doesn't apply to everyone, everyone's different

Also, we wanted to know

what you guys thought about some of these things

that we're going to talk about

How it applies to your country, how it relates to your country

Maiko: And in this video I decided to join

because I did experience being raised in Japan

and I have Japanese parents

So I just wanted to share my experience with you guys

Before we start,

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Wanna say hello to everyone before you go?

- Hey everyone! - Hey~

There you go, he's such a smiley boy

Love you! Bye Bye!

So this one is kind of crazy

Japanese moms spend only 2 hours

away from their baby each week

Whereas compared to American mothers,

they'll spend 24 hours away from their babies

Basically there's no time ever

where the baby is apart from the mom

At least in Japan

Why do you think that is?

Well in Japan,

babysitters are not so common

I mean, it's changing nowadays

since there's more working mothers

But back in the days

I think there were no babysitters

and people expected mothers to almost "suffer"

And to give up everything for the baby,

was actually a good thing

They value the "suffering" of mothers

Paolo: So basically, you're a more respected mother

if you are sacrificing for the babies and for the kids

That's kind of surprising to us, but times are changing

so that's not necessarily the case for some parents these days

But it's still one of the mindsets

that a lot of the parents have in Japan

The next thing was

I don't know if it was much of a shocker,

but I anticipated it because of the size of our apartment

The sleeping arrangements here in Japan

and sleeping in the same room with your baby and your child

In fact, if you've seen our "Day in a Life" video with Wolfy

then you'd know he sleeps in the same room with us

Not in the same bed,

but he has a crib right next to our bed

I think about 88% of kids between 0 and 3 years old

sleep in the same room with their parents

and about 68-69% of kids sleep in the same bed as their parents

But it's common for kids to be in elementary school

and still be staying in the same room with their parents

or maybe even the same bed

until they're like 10 years old or something

For me, when I was a kid

our house wasn't that big,

but since we had 3 kids

we used to sleep together in the same room

We would call it a "Kawa no Ji"

"We sleep like a kawa no ji"

means we sleep next to eachother

Paolo: So I think one of the differences in Japan

is that they don't have beds, but futons Maiko: Oh, that's true

Paolo: So you have this bedroom with tatami mats

where people lay out their futon mattresses

- And it's not just beds lying around-- - That's right

like you're in an orphanage

Yeah it's on the ground, it's on the floor

In our case, we moved

My parents built a new house when

I was in early elementary school

That's when I got my room

So I think it really depends on the family

for when you get your own room

Usually it happens in elementary school or junior high at the latest, I think

Paolo: We'll decide as Wolfy gets older he's almost six months now, so we'll see

So this one kind of piggybacks off that one

It's taking a bath with your parents,

especially the opposite sex,

and how long they do it here in Japan

For example,

right now we're just giving him a bath separately

But I think at the age of 3-4 months

that's when parents start to take baths with their kids,

like that young,

to soak them in the bath or give them a proper bath together

But this continues on and the facts show here,

that all the way up until maybe age ten

22% of moms and sons take baths together

and when they're 12: 14%

all the way to 15 years old with 3%

that's 3 out of a 100 kids

will take a bath with their mom at 15 years old

You'd be shocked as a Japanese as well

- I'm pretty shocked - The Japanese as well

This was kind of weird, it says

for over 20 years old: 6%

Maiko: Wow Paolo: Yeah, that's pretty shocking

The next one is father and daughter

up to 8 years old it says 14%

and to 10 years old, 25% still take baths with their dad

How old were you when you took a bath with your dad?

I actually don't remember, but I remember I felt kind of weird

That's one of the things

How is it in your country?

Let me know in the comments

This one is more of a general thing

when they're growing up

and how to teach them or correct your child

when they do something wrong

And kind of show them the way

In Japan, typically they show a lot more empathy

when teaching their children

For example, instead of saying

"You did something wrong" or "You're gonna get arrested"

it's more like,

"How is that going to make the other kid feel

when you take their toys or you do something", right?

- So it's more of a show of empathy - Yeah, exactly

How I was brought up, or how my mother taught me when I did something wrong

was usually to think of other people's feelings,

"He's hurt, you don't want to do that"

or let's say I'm screaming and jumping around in a public place,

then my mother would be like,

"Don't bother people"

Not only the feelings,

but also the idea that you don't want to bother other people

We would say "Meiwaku wo kakenai"

It's like how it's gonna make other's feel

You don't wanna disturb harmony,

you don't want to disturb the peace, or everyone's quiet

Yeah, always think about others

"Life theme" of Japan

Paolo: It's not like

"Oh you're gonna get arrested" or "You're breaking the rules"

Maiko: No, you should never say that

Paolo: I think it's great to be able to get along with the group,

but then at the same time,

as someone always trying to get along with the group

you kind of lose your opinions and your thoughts

And you don't actually think on your own

You're always thinking, "What does the group want or think"

Maybe we have a bit of a mix in there so that our son

considers the group and is empathetic and wants the best for the group

but also his own opinions about things

And maybe it'll be okay for him to stick out once in a while

Yeah, totally

To be honest,

I grew up and always having to think about others

and having to put other's feelings before what I wanted to do

So I never got to do what I wanted

You know what I mean?

That sucked, so... [laughter]

It's like

"I feel bad for her so I guess I'm not gonna do that"

You know?

That will make you lose your personality

or lose your identity

If that makes sense

You won't develop your own uniqueness

- Yeah - We'll see

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That said, let's continue on with the list

Another interesting thing about Japanese culture and raising kids

is that discipline is not only from parents,

but also from groups

meaning that you'll go to school or you'll join clubs

and the discipline is shared throughout the community

So it's not just from your parents

which could be a good or bad thing

I guess, maybe in some cultures

you know the parents are the ones responsible for the discipline

but in Japan it's a shared communal thing

Maiko: Yeah, as I grew up I was always in that environment,

that I had to follow the rules

That applies at school, at clubs, and after-school school

So I think if you're in Japan,

you're naturally going to be disciplined

Paolo: I think what's also interesting

is even as a little kid in school,

you clean all together

I'll be walking by nurseries and see kids wiping down

the entrance of the school and wiping down the--

- Elementary school? - A nursery or something

Maiko: I feel like I started in elementary school

But yeah, it's good to learn how to be responsible for your own room

Paolo: The kids could barely stand and were wiping

So cute [laughter]

They were teaching them how to wipe the windows

- They're probably not good at cleaning - No, they were terrible at cleaning

- They're learning - They're learning

So cute

They teach them at such a young age

To sum it all up,

the parents don't have to discipline the child by themselves

They have the community, they have the schools,

they have the circles, and they have the clubs to help discipline

But this one was another surprising thing,