I never met him,

but I hear he left some pretty big shoes to fill.

- Let's get one thing straight.

You're never gonna fill Jimenez's shoes, ever!

Jimenez was a good man, better cop.

Fill Jimenez's shoes?

The tip of your dick couldn't fill a bottle cap.

♪ Crazy, crazy ♪

♪ Does his crazy ♪

Look at this mess.

Makes me sick.

- There's no way to stop this kind of insane violence.

It seems like no matter what we do,

some innocent fool is always gonna get slaughtered

and we're always gonna be playing catch up.

We're never gonna find the guy that did this.

- Tell that to his widow.

(dramatic music)

- And we're always going to be playing catch up.

We're never gonna find the guy that did this.

(woman sobbing)

(dramatic music)

- It's a weird one.

Nothing out of place, no murder weapon.

- And no motive.

There's just a couple lying dead in the bed.

- The proof is always out there, detectives.

You just have to know where to find the pudding.

- Excuse me, sir, you can't be here,

this is a crime scene- - Samuel, it's okay.

He's the greatest sex crime investigator in history.

If it isn't Detective Chuck Vaughn.

- Detective Sally Ferguson.

- [Sally] We could use a genius right now.

- Tom Samuel.

- What have we got, Samuel?

- Well, Vaughn, we've got ourselves a hard case here.

All we've got is-

- Two bodies.

Both dead, naked, one man, one woman, in the bed.

Two scented candles by the nightstand.

- How did you- - Shh.

- No sign of forced entry.

He loved the way they smelled.

He wanted to cross the threshold the way they had

on their wedding day.

You dirty dog.

He would have experienced that pleasure right here.

(pants unzip) (Vaughn groaning loudly)

Anniversary, the couple was together for a while,

wanted to spice things up.

Check the date on the photograph.

- Vaughn's right, today was their 15th wedding anniversary.

This is huge!

- And, what the (bleep) was that?

You just pulled your dick out

and started jerking off at the crime scene.

- Samuel, he's the best there is.

By putting himself in the perpetrator's mindset,

he's able to solve crimes that involve sex.

Bag this up.

- Some call it a blessing.

It's more like a curse.

- Is that what it feels like?

(sniffing)

- Threesome.

You wanted to see them, didn't you?

You wanted to watch.

25 feet from the bedroom, across from the kitchen.

You didn't wanna see their flesh yet, did you?

No, he stood right here.

(pants unzip) (Vaughn groans loudly)

- [Samuel] Oh, come on.

(Vaughn groans loudly)

- Role play gone wrong, check the logs.

- We've got a bloody fire poker!

We've got our murder weapon!

- Why do your revelations require masturbation?

- Why do kittens require milk?

- No, not the same thing.

- Hey, hey!

He's the most brilliant goddamn detective I know.

Put your ego aside and give Vaughn his space.

- My ego!

We've got Captain Pant Puller

flinging his fluids all over the crime scene.

- Wait, he knew them.

They were close, so close, too close.

He, he...

I think he knew the house.

Why?

What did you want, you sick bastard?

You wanted to see what he saw every day, only closer.

Closer.

He was close to home.

(dramatic music) (Vaughn groans loudly)

There's our man.

- All right, let's go get him go.

Go, go!

- Vaughn, that was amazing.

I'm sorry that I doubted you.

Your methods are unorthodox,

but I cannot argue with your results.

- No hard feelings?

- No, not gonna do that.

(dramatic music)

Johnny.

Okay, Carter.

I can stay here all night.

So why don't you and I cut the crap and you tell me

what happened on March 15th.

- And what's in it for Carter Finley?

- What's in it for you is I don't send you back to jail.

(suspenseful music)

(sighs)

- The guy's name is Cat Branchman.

I met him downtown at a club called the Clutching Kitten.

You may have heard of it.

It's down on the corner of Hang and First Street.

- Cat Branchman.

So what's a guy like you and a guy named Cat...

(suspenseful music)

Okay, I know what you're doing Finley.

You're just using what you see in my poster.

- I'm not Detective, I'm telling the truth.

- We'll see how much truth you tell

after a few weeks in solitary confinement-

- Fine, detective you've twisted my arm.

- That's better.

- The guy's name wasn't Cat Branchman.

It was a Chinese guy named Mr. Meow.

He's the real gang boss.

Story went he hung guys from trees

and took pictures of them.

- Finley.

- Used to run a club downtown.

The front of course, called it the Paw and Poster.

- Finley!

- Ran it with a guy named Hung in the.

- Okay

(suspenseful music)

Let's try this one more time.

Finely, who do you work for?

- Coffee, Mr. Coffee Coop.

- Coffee Coop?

- His name was Baldy Tallman Coffee Coop.

- Now you're just talking about me.

Finely, I'm gonna give you one more chance.

Who is in charge?

- His name was Angryman.

The warehouse is located in the diploma

for being a detective.

- I want a name.

- Justin.

- Thank you.

- Hangtree.

- Don't say hang.

Goddammit, do not say hang.

- Hang.

- Nope.

- Hangman Justincat.

- Finely!

- Poster.

- Do not say poster or cat.

- Cat poster.

- Okay, that's it.

I'm losing my patients.

Winslow, get this moron outta here.

(suspenseful music)

I'm losing my patients.

Let's try this one more time.

Getting too old for this (beep)

(suspenseful music)

- Well played detective.

Well played indeed.

- Hey Carter, you hang in there.

(dramatic music)

Hello, you must be Detective Hobbs.

I am your new partner, Joshua Taye.

You last partner, Detective Jimenez.

I never met him, but I hear he left some pretty big shoes

to fill.

- Let's get one thing straight.

You're never gonna fill Jimenez's shoes, ever!

Jimenez was a good man.

Better cop.

Fill Jimenez's shoes?

The tip of your dick couldn't fill a bottle cap.

- I'm very sorry if that came out wrong.

I'm sure Jimenez was a great cop.

- The best!

- Okay.

So these prostitute murders,

seems like a serial killer.

- Could be.

- I actually worked out a theory.

- I don't give a hobo's hat about your theory.

You think Jimenez worked off of theories,

like some kind of a needle-dick Charles Darwin?

Not on your ass.

Jimenez always shot straight from the dick.

You think you're Jimenez?

- Absolutely not.

You're goddamn right, you're not.

- I just said I'm-

- Jimenez would have busted 20 perps

in the time it'd take you to pull up your pants off your

itsy-bitsy, teeny weenie, yellow polka-dot, ba-pee-pee.

Two daughters raising them on his own.

You want that job, huh?

Mr. Babydick?

- What is going on?

- You wanna be their daddy?

- No.

You know what, I think we got off on the wrong foot.

- Not Jimenez.

Jimenez got off on the right foot

every goddamn day of his goddamn life.

That's more than I can say for your pebble-penis having ass.

- [Joshua] What?

- Jimenez wanna be?

- I can assure you I don't wanna be Jimenez.

- Why not?

What's wrong with Jimenez?

- There's nothing wrong with Jimenez.

- Then why wouldn't you want to be like him?

- I don't know, you said-

- Smurf pecker!

- Okay, I'm out.

I can't make this work.

(dramatic music)

- Jimenez would've made it work.

(dramatic music)

Come back from Florida soon, Jimenez.

(dramatic music)

(snaps)

- First things first,

I do not care that you're a multi-platinum selling

rapper, Gun Rack.

What I care about is that I 100% know

that you murdered Darnell Simmons.

So, you better start talking.

(suspenseful music)

- Yeah, but you ain't got nothing.

- You know, I'm actually very glad that you said that.

Because I respectfully, I beg to differ.

♪ I killed Darnell ♪

♪ Yeah I shot him with my nine ♪

♪ I shot him nine times ♪

♪ 9:00 pm on the dime ♪

♪ And by the way it was November 9th ♪

(suspenseful music)

- That don't mean nothing.

I got a vivid imagination.

I couldn't have shot Darnell,

I was at my cousin's birthday party.

Red Lobster, November 9th.

- At Red Lobster?

- [Gun Rack] Mh-hm

- Geez, I gotta tell you, Gun Rack.

I find that really hard to believe.

♪ I got an alibi ♪

♪ Birthday, Red Lobster ♪

♪ When in reality I shot Darnell like a monster ♪

♪ It's a lie ♪

♪ Anyone can tell this ♪

♪ If you know about my allergy to all shellfish ♪

Just confess, Gun Rack.

- I confess that shellfish is the only thing

that rhymes with (indistinct)

It's just words.

Thought that they're nouns, adjectives.

They just happen to be in a dope order

but, you ain't got no proof.

♪ Shot up Darnell with a long ass gun ♪

♪ And tossed it in to the aquarium ♪

I have no idea what that object is.