I realize how much I overuse it in emails.

我意識到自己在郵件中使用過度了。

I used to add it to almost every sentence.

我以前幾乎每句話都會加上它。

I feel like I sounded like, "Hi!

我覺得我的聲音就像 "嗨！"。

My name's Matt! This is an email!

我叫馬特！這是一封郵件！

I have some thoughts on the analytics report!

對於分析報告，我有一些想法!

Thanks! I sound like a (bleep) idiot!"

謝謝！""我聽起來像個(嗶)白痴！我的聲音像個(嗶)白痴!"

- And yet you love dogs, the exclamation point of animals.

- 而你卻喜歡狗，動物的感嘆號。

- Listen to this email and tell me

- 聽聽這封郵件，告訴我

if it sounds okay without exclamation points.

如果沒有感嘆號，聽起來還可以。

"I've attached the docs you've asked for.

"你要的文件我已經附上了。

I sent them last week.

我上週就把他們送來了。

I guess they got lost in your inbox.

我猜他們在你的收件箱裡丟了。

Anyway, let me know if there's

無論如何，讓我知道，如果有

anything else you need help with, thanks."

你還有什麼需要幫助的，謝謝。"

- You just use periods?

- 你只是用句號？

- [Matt] Yeah.

- 是的。

- Should be fine.

- 應該沒問題。

- "I've attached the docs you asked for.

- "你要的文件我已經附上了。

I sent them last week.

我上週就把他們送來了。

I guess they got lost in your inbox." (scoffs)

我猜他們在你的收件箱裡丟了。"（嘲笑）

"Anyway, let me know if there's anything else

"總之，有什麼事就告訴我吧。

you need help with, thanks."

你需要幫助的，謝謝。"

- Did you get Matt's email?

- 你收到Matt的郵件了嗎？

- This is an attack.

- 這是一種攻擊。

- It's assault and battery.

- 這是攻擊和毆打。

- It's both.

- 這兩者都有。

(alarm beeping)

（警報聲）

(chill techno music)

(寒冷的技術音樂)

(alarm ringing)

（報警鈴聲）

(alarm ringing)

（報警鈴聲）

Matt, looking dapper today.

馬特，今天看起來很帥氣。

Kate, you okay? You look tired.

凱特，你還好嗎？你看起來很累

- Men have been complaining about women's tones ever since

- 男人們一直在抱怨女人的音調，自從

women started working at Hampton DeVille, 1993.

1993年，婦女開始在漢普頓德維爾工作。

- Have other men complained about my tone?

- 其他男人有沒有抱怨我的語氣？

- A few dozen hundred.

- 幾十上百個。

- A few dozen hundred?

- 幾十上百？

Let me see what they said.

讓我看看他們怎麼說。

- Kate, if I let you read what your male coworkers

- 凱特，如果我讓你讀了你的男同事們的文章

have said about you, there is no going back.

說了你的事，就沒有回頭路了。

(thunder rumbles)

（雷聲隆隆）

If you pick the blue pen, you'll wake up-

如果你選擇了藍色的筆，你會醒來--。

- Just show it to me.

- 給我看看吧

- [Man 1] Her tone was too harsh.

- 她的語氣太過嚴厲。

- [Man 2] Feel emasculated.

- 感覺被閹割了

- [Man 3] It was the way she said it.

- 這是她說的方式。

- [Man 2] She's taller than me.

- 她比我高。

- [Man 3] It's like a dagger.

- 這就像一把匕首。

- [Man 4] Knifey, piercing, knife blade.

- [男人4]刀子，刺眼，刀刃。

- Thank you, it's always so cold in this building.

- 謝謝你，這棟樓裡總是那麼冷。

- The temperature in offices is set to accommodate

- 辦公室內的溫度設定為適應

men in suits who get to keep the hair on their bodies.

穿著西裝的男人，可以把頭髮留在身上。

But luckily, I've developed ways of adapting.

但幸運的是，我已經形成了適應的方法。

- It is always shocking to be reminded

- 它總是令人震驚地被提醒

how pathetically sensitive the men in this office are.

這個辦公室裡的人是多麼可憐的敏感。

- That's why I've compiled a list of the best tones

- 這就是為什麼我整理了一份最好的音色清單。

to use for men in the office.

用來給辦公室裡的男士使用。

I could teach you, and in exchange,

我可以教你，作為交換。

maybe you could pull some strings

也許你可以拉一些線

with the guy who controls the AC around here.

和控制這裡空調的人在一起。

- Deal.

- 成交

- The most popular tone among men in the office

- 男人在辦公室裡最受歡迎的語氣

is one I like to call, "Horny Toddler."

是一個我喜歡叫，"角質學步者"。

(Matt sighs)

（馬特嘆氣）

- Hey, Matt.

- 嘿，馬特。

Got your email with the report, thanks so much for sending.

收到你的報告郵件，非常感謝你的發送。

Question, did you CC John on that?

問題是，你有沒有給約翰打過電話？

- Uh, yes, I believe I did.

- 嗯，是的，我相信我做到了。

- Oh, that's interesting 'cause I'm looking

- 哦，這很有趣，因為我正在尋找。

at that email right now and you didn't.

在那封郵件，現在，你沒有。

- Oh.

- 哦。

- [John] You BCC-ed me.

- [約翰]你BCC-ed我。

- Oh, you still got the email, then, right?

- 哦，你還是收到了郵件，然後，對不對？

- I did.

- 我有

- Look, I know you're new around here so I just

- 你看，我知道你是新來的，所以我只是。

wanna make sure that you understand the email protocol.

要確保你瞭解電子郵件協議。

You always CC both John and I on all work emails,

你總是在所有的工作郵件上同時CC我和約翰。

'cause if you BCC him, then I can't check

因為如果你把他封了，我就沒法查了。

to make sure that you CC-ed him.

以確保你用CC-ed他。

- Got it, I made a mistake.

- 知道了，我犯了一個錯誤。

- Great. Question.

- 厲害問題。

Why did you make that mistake?

你為什麼要犯這種錯誤？

- Honestly, I don't know.

- 老實說，我不知道。

I never really saw myself here.

我從來沒有在這裡看到過自己。

I mean, after college I volunteered

我的意思是，大學畢業後，我志願

for a program teaching underprivileged kids

貧困兒童教育項目的資金來源

because I wanted to help people,

因為我想幫助人們。

but then one of the students stabbed me and the school

但後來一個學生刺傷了我和學校的人

was pretty dirty (children laughing)

很髒

and I realized I wasn't cut out for it.

我意識到我不適合做這個。

So I moved back in with my parents,

於是我又搬回了父母家。

which I'm pretty sure led to them getting a divorce because

我敢肯定，這導致他們得到了離婚，因為。

- [Father] We don't love each other.

- [父親]我們不愛對方。

- that's what they told me happened.

- 這就是他們告訴我發生了什麼。

(gavel bangs)

(槌子的聲音)

Then I worked a series of jobs that eventually

然後我做了一系列的工作，最終

landed me here, where I'm just a cog

讓我來到這裡，在這裡我只是一個齒輪。

in a soulless corporate machine and I'm not-

在一個沒有靈魂的企業機器中，我不是... ...

- Okay, well just make sure that you CC

- 好吧，只要確保你CC

both John and I on all work emails.

我和約翰在所有工作郵件上。

It's a simple mistake, but it's just important

這是一個簡單的錯誤，但它只是重要的。

to follow protocol. - Yes.

遵循協議。- 是啊

Thank you, you'll get it back

謝謝你，你會拿回來的

at the end of the semester. (chuckles)

在學期末。（笑）

- Having your phone taken away from you

- 搶走你的手機

is like having your civil liberties stripped away.

就像你的公民自由被剝奪了一樣。

It's just inhumane.

這簡直是不人道的。

- Baron?

- 男爵？

Baron.

男爵。

Thank you.

謝謝你了

The old back pocket. And the other.

舊的後口袋。還有另一個

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Stand up. (clears throat)

站起來。（清嗓子）

I'm sorry I have to do this,

我很抱歉，我必須這樣做。

but just wanna have a nice focused meeting.

但只是想有一個很好的集中會議。

(scoffs) That's mine.

（嘲笑）那是我的。

- My dad's finally responding. (groans)

- 我爸爸終於有反應了（呻吟）

(man wailing)

(男人的哭聲)

- Thank you.

- 謝謝你了

Now, where were we?

現在，我們說到哪裡了？

Bill, you were saying something.

比爾，你在說什麼？

- Actually, I was gonna say something.

- 其實，我是想說點什麼。

- Yet here I am, saying something.

- 然而我卻在這裡，說些什麼。

This reminds me of a time I was a child

這讓我想起了我小時候的一段經歷

and my mother said, "You'll never amount to anything."

我媽媽說："你永遠不會有出息"

And I felt hurt, till I realized

我覺得很受傷，直到我意識到

she was talking to my father.

她在和我父親說話

There he stood, with his party dress on. Anyway.

他站在那裡，穿著他的派對禮服。總之...

- How long have we been here?

- 我們在這裡多久了？

- Without our phones there's no way to measure

- 沒有我們的手機，就沒有辦法測量

the passage of time, could be years, decades, even.

時間的流逝，可能是幾年，幾十年，甚至。

- This country has such a huge problem with-

- 這個國家有這樣一個巨大的問題

- Jake, come on.

- 傑克，來吧。

We're talking to talk about a popular TV show.

我們要談的是一部熱門電視劇。

Have some respect.

請尊重一下。

- You know what character Jake would get

- 你知道傑克會得到什麼角色嗎？

if he took the quiz?

如果他參加了測驗？

- Glenn. (Baron laughs)

- Glenn.（男爵笑）

- Yes, Jake is such a Glenn.

- 是的，傑克就是這樣一個格倫。

- Who's Glenn? - You's Glenn.

- 誰是格倫？- 你是Glenn

- You know what? I don't care.

- 你知道嗎？我不在乎。

I'm gonna go sit somewhere else.

我去別的地方坐坐

- Oh no, Glenn!

- 哦，不，格倫！

- I don't know who this Glenn character is but I am not him.

- 我不知道格倫這個角色是誰，但我不是他。

- Glenn! - Bye, Glenn.

- 格倫！- 再見，格倫

Glenn, come back.

格倫，回來

- [Paige] I love you, Glenn.

- [佩奇]我愛你，格倫。

- I love society's work.

- 我愛社會的工作。

- It's like an allegory for the modern world.

- 這就像一個現代世界的寓言。

- Oh, the cinematography.

- 哦，電影攝影。

- So good.

- 這麼好。

- I wrote a think piece about it,

- 我寫了一篇思考文章。

so now I know what to think about it.

所以現在我知道該怎麼想了。

(Coworker voiceovers overlap)

(同事配音重疊)

- Oh, hey, Kate, how are you doing?

- 哦，嘿，凱特，你怎麼樣？

- Well, I'm an adult executive

- 嗯，我是一個成人主管

at what appears to be a college party.

在什麼似乎是一個大學黨。

- Where's your date?

- 你的約會在哪裡？

- I fired him. - Oh, I'm sorry.

- 我把他開除了- 哦，我很抱歉。

- Don't be, I had a Groupon for him anyways.

- 別這樣，反正我給他準備了團購券。

I'm actually out here hiding from John.

我其實是在外面躲避約翰。

I have never seen a grownup consume so much dairy.

我從來沒有見過一個成年人消耗這麼多的乳製品。

- He has the diet of a five year old with osteopetrosis.

- 他有一個五歲的骨質疏鬆症的飲食。

That's ridiculous. (Kate laughs)

那是荒謬的。(凱特笑)

- You wanna hit this?

- 你想打這個？

- Kate, you smoke weed?

- 凱特，你抽大麻？

- Oh, don't be so surprised.

- 哦，不要這麼驚訝。

It's the weekend, and I'm a human being.

今天是週末，我也是人。

- Oh shit.

- 哦，該死的。

♪ Smoke weed ♪

? 菸草?

♪ Get crazy ♪

獲取瘋狂

♪ Get crazy ♪

獲取瘋狂

♪ Smoke weed ♪

? 菸草?

(dance music)

(舞曲)

- Well, I feel a little better.

- 好吧，我感覺好一點了。

- It's slightly more tolerable

- 稍微可以忍受

to be at this party right now.

要在這個黨現在。

(Jake breaths deeply)

（傑克深呼吸）

- Okay, Jake, you're gonna go in there

- 好吧，傑克，你要去那裡。

and be confident and direct and exude raw sexual energy

自信直接，散發著原始的性能量。

which nobody can deny, let's go.

沒有人可以否認，我們走吧。

Oh my god, perfect, you're both here.

哦，我的上帝，完美的，你倆在這裡。

First of all, happy Remember Day.

首先，祝大家紀念日快樂。

- Aww, thank you, Jake.

- 啊，謝謝你，傑克。

- I'll get straight to the point.

- 我就直奔主題了。

Listen, I've been a junior executive in training

聽著，我一直在培訓中擔任初級主管。

for about five years now and it's technically

五年了，從技術上講，它是。

a one year program, so, wow!

一年的計劃，所以，哇！

Anyway, I am all trained up

總之，我已經訓練好了

and I am ready to be a junior executive.

而我已經做好了做初級主管的準備。

As my mentors, promoting me

作為我的師父，提拔我

would be a huge win for both of you.

對你們倆來說都是巨大的勝利。

I'm your Shamu, you're my SeaWorld,

我是你的Shamu，你是我的海洋世界。

and let's just pretend "Blackfish" never happened.

我們就當 "黑魚 "沒發生過吧。

Who cares about whales? I don't.

誰在乎鯨魚？我不關心

- First of all, Jake, we're surprised

- 首先，傑克，我們很驚訝。

it took you this long to ask.

你花了這麼長的時間來問。

- Unfortunately, the answer is no, no, no.

- 很遺憾，答案是不，不，不。

- Jake, here are the reasons

- 傑克，以下是原因

you will not be getting this promotion.

你不會得到這個推廣。

You come into work with cat hair on your suit.

你上班時西裝上有貓毛。

- So much cat hair that I'm sometimes like,

- 這麼多的貓毛，我有時候就像。

"What's going on here?"

"這是怎麼回事？"

- What's going on? What's happening?

- 發生了什麼事？發生了什麼事？

Are you a cat?

你是貓嗎？

- [Matt] Jake and I have a little bet going

- 傑克和我打了個小賭。

about whether or not I'll get a crush on this girl.

關於我是否會對這個女孩產生好感。

- [Jake] We didn't make a bet.

- 我們沒有打賭。

- Yes, we did.

- 是的，我們有。

- Who is she?

- 她是誰？

- She sits right outside of our office.

- 她就坐在我們辦公室外面。

- Oh, so it's a proximity crush.

- 哦，原來是近距離暗戀。

I have one of those, his name is Jerry Slunts.

我也有一個，他叫傑瑞-斯倫茨。

He sits right outside my office, and he's disgusting.

他就坐在我辦公室外面，他很噁心。

At first he's hard to look at,

一開始他很難看。

but eventually, you can't look away.

但最終，你還是無法移開視線。

- Well, I don't have a proximity crush

- 好吧，我沒有一個接近的暗戀。

because I already found the one and her name is Laura.

因為我已經找到了一個，她的名字是勞拉。

- Matt, enough, there are seven billion people on Earth.

- 馬特，夠了，地球上有70億人。

Even if the one exists, you'll never meet her.

即使那個人存在，你也不會見到她。

The best you can do is arbitrarily choose a partner

你能做的最好的是任意選擇一個合作伙伴。

you share a few interests with and hope

志同道合

their dormant personality flaws can be medicated.

他們休眠的性格缺陷可以用藥。

- That's the thing, Jessica and I

- 這就是問題所在，傑西卡和我

barely have anything in common.

幾乎沒有什麼共同點。

- Hey, guys.

- 嘿，夥計們。

- [Jake] Hey, Jessica.

- 嘿, Jessica.

- Ooh, looks like you two are sub buddies.

- 哦，看起來你們兩個是副哥們。

- Wow, you're, like, copying everything I do, Matt.

- 哇，你好像在抄襲我做的一切，馬特。

- Actually, I go by Jessica now.

- 其實，我現在叫傑西卡。

I stole your whole identity.

我偷走了你的全部身份。

- Oh, well I'm calling the police.

- 哦，好吧，我叫警察。

- Oh yeah?

- 哦，是嗎？

Well, my father, Mr. Jessica, owns the police, so good luck.

好吧，我的父親，傑西卡先生， 擁有警察，所以祝你好運。

- How's the sub, Jessica?

- 潛艇怎麼樣了，傑西卡？

- It's incredible. (emotional orchestral music)

- 這是不可思議的。（情感交響樂）

I mean, it's fine. You know, whatever.

我的意思是，它的罰款。你知道，什麼都好。

- Sounds amazing.

- 聽起來很不錯