'Why do you waste your time like that?'

So I said, 'In what sense?'

She said, 'You won't see it grown.'

But for me, planting a tree was never a waste of time.

And today, so often if I walk outside

and I can sit under the shade,

you enjoy that growth.

It just makes you aware that life is

so full of its own mysteries,

its own stories,

its own life.

Life goes through its own circles.

It's never even - it goes up and down.

And it can throw you totally overhead.

But you know what... I can't control everything.

I was with my husband when he passed away.

It's a strange emotion that went through me.

It was early in the morning and I walked around the house

and you are forlorn because you think,

how can I carry on?

And yet it was so unbelievably beautiful.

The sun came up

and all I can remember was how beautiful the world was around me.

It gave me so much courage, to realise but

you are still here and you can still go on.

You can't describe it to someone.

And that's life... that is not death... that's life.

It is a loss... I'm not saying that it's not a loss.

You're not superman.

Don't touch me. Handle with care. This side up.

You get days like that.

Someone said to me, 'How are you?'

And I said 'Fine'.

And he took my shoulders, turned me around and said

'How is it really with you today?'

And suddenly I broke.

And he took me in his arms and he said

'Elrieda, you may cry.'

And he just held me.

You must cry because that is good for the eyes

and the soul.

You have to get the eina (pain) out.

And you have to make peace.

You're not going to make peace if you keep saying 'fine'

and it's just superficial.

When people say to you 'Oh, I'm fine'.

Are you fine? No, I'm not fine.

So why do you say you are fine?

Try and get behind that.

That 'fine' is very often just a cover.

Very often people say more

without saying something.

You must listen behind the words.

What does that person need today?

For what they need now in this moment

is not what they're going to need next moment.

Give them your full attention.

Move the dirty dishes to one side

and give them a nice cup of tea.

To give them time to just sit with you...

to just be...

give them time to be.

Show your emotions, emotions are there to show.

The cattle lick each other

or bump each other when they don't feel like it.

So why must we always be polite?

As children, someone asked my mother,

'Aren't you worried? Your children are forever fighting.'

She said, 'No, if they stop fighting I take them to the doctor.'

'Because they've got different personalities.'

'And each one must be free to express their personality.'

'But they are also free to accept what comes from the other side.'

Getting cross and saying your say is also a form of

getting to understand each other better.

And try to understand the other person.

Is that not life?

I must say, I like trees that lose their leaves in winter.

Because when the new ones come out

you see living again.

Like the tree, you will get new leaves when spring comes.

To all of you who have contributed,

for those of you who have shared our films,

for those of you who have written out comments,

this journey is just beginning.

And we've put a Patreon link below our films

so if you'd like to continue to support us

we'd love for you to donate below. Thanks so much.