and you, I know that you were very young

而你，我知道你當時還很年輕

when you intern for us,

當你為我們實習時。

you were like 19 years old.

你就像19歲。

I think I was 19.

我想我當時19歲。

I was Yeah.

我是啊。

You at the time,

當時的你。

must have been interested in comedy.

一定是對喜劇感興趣。

Sometimes, it's hard for interns because there's they're

有時候，這對實習生來說是很難的，因為他們有...

told you got to be professional,

告訴你，你得是專業的。

you can't approach right famous people were you given

你不能接近正確的名人，你被賦予了

that whole spiel.

這整個spiel。

They gave me the

他們給我的

whole speech at the beginning.

在開始時，整個演講。

Don't talk to famous people don't talk

不要和名人說話不要和名人說話。

to the guests.

給客人。

But then Jonathan Katz came on the show one time

但後來有一次Jonathan Katz上了節目。

and he was from, from Dr. Katz, professional therapists,

和他從，從卡茨博士，專業治療師。

Hilarious, hilarious comedian,

搞笑，搞笑的喜劇演員。

one of them one of the great TV series

其中之一

of comedy nerds like me,

像我這樣的喜劇書呆子。

and he lived in worked in Boston,

而他在波士頓生活工作。

and my brother Joe,

和我的弟弟喬。

who had interned on your show as well,

他也曾在你的節目中實習過。

was living in Boston was an

當時住在波士頓的是一個

aspiring comedy writer.

有抱負的喜劇作家。

And so I was,

於是我就。

I was like,

我很喜歡。

I'm going to introduce Jonathan Kartz

我將介紹喬納森-卡茨

to my brother Joe.

給我弟弟喬。

So I, I completely cross the line.

所以我，我完全越界了。

And I just follow, I got out of the control room,

而我只是跟著，我走出了控制室。

I spot him after he walks offstage,

他走下臺後，我發現了他。

and I follow Jonathan Katz.

我關注喬納森・卡茨。

And I'm like,

而我就像。

I'm gonna talk to Jonathan Katz.

我去找喬納森・卡茨談談。

He makes a right turn into the bathroom,

他右轉進入衛生間。

and I had that fork in the road moment

我有那個岔路口的時刻。

where you go,

你去哪裡。

should I follow a celebrity comedian

我是否應該跟隨一個明星喜劇演員

into a public restroom?

進入公共廁所？

And the answer,

而答案是：

Conan is yes,

柯南是的。

I went.

我去了

I waited until he was washing his hands.

我等到他洗手的時候。

And then I said, Jonathan,

然後我說，喬納森。

I'm Mike Birbiglia.

我是Mike Birbiglia.

I work on the show.

我在節目中工作。

I didn't say I was an intern.

我可沒說我是實習生。

But I was wearing a nice shirt.

但我穿著一件漂亮的襯衫。

And I and I looked 50 when I was 20.

而我和我20歲的時候，看起來有50歲。

So I had a high, high hairline.

所以我的髮際線很高很高。

my hairline was this since I was 13, basically.

我的髮際線是這樣的 因為我是13，基本上。

And you could have been a producer for all he knew

而你可能是他所知道的製作人。

I couldn't produce right.

我不能產生正確的。

I go, my brother Joe is aspiring copywriter in Boston.

我去，我的弟弟喬是波士頓有志於文案的人。

Can I put him in touch with you?

我可以讓他和你聯繫嗎？

He goes, Oh, yeah,

他說，哦，是的。

he's soft spoken guy.

他是一個溫柔的傢伙。

He goes, Oh, yeah, absolutely.

他說，哦，是的，絕對的。

He goes, let me just write my number down.

他去，讓我把我的號碼寫下來。

Do you have anything that I could write it in?

你有什麼東西可以讓我寫進去嗎？

And I was just like, Oh, well,

我只是想，哦，好吧。

these paper towels.

這些紙巾。

I think I could,

我想我可以。

we could write it down.

我們可以把它寫下來。

And so then I,

所以後來我。

we I took out a paper towel.

我們我拿出一張紙巾。

He wrote down his number,

他寫下了自己的號碼。

put him in touch with Joe

讓他和喬聯繫

and Joe worked for him for several days.

和喬為他工作了幾天。

And yeah, so I overstepped and actually,

是的，所以我越俎代庖，其實。

if I, don't know if this is inappropriate.

如果我，不知道這是否不合適。

I know this is your talk show.

我知道這是你的脫口秀

I don't know if this is the time

我不知道現在是否是時機

or the place.

或地方。

But I was.

但我是。

My brother Joe is trying

我弟弟阿祖正在努力

to figure out his life right now.

來了解他現在的生活。

He was an intern for you.

他是你的實習生。

20 years ago,

20年前

and I was wondering if you would take a meeting with him.

我想知道你是否願意和他見面。

If I could give him your number.

如果我能給他你的號碼

Oh, it's on the line to ask me

哦，它的線上問我

on the air.

在廣播中。

It's

這是...

No, wait.

不，等等。

Joe's here now.

喬現在在這裡。

No,

不知道

That's my brother. Joe.

那是我弟弟喬

This is inappropriate.

這是不合適的。

It's one thing for you and I to talk

你我之間的談話是一回事。

off the air.

停播。

And for me to give you my number

讓我給你我的電話號碼

to have Joe appear on the show

讓Joe出現在節目中

is way over the line.

是過線的方式。

Joe, it's over the line.

喬，這太過分了

This is wrong.

這是不對的。

I'll show myself out.

我自己出去看看。

No, no, Joe, please stay.

不，不，喬，請留下。

How are you? Joe?

你好嗎？喬？

Where are you?

你在哪裡？

Am well, I'm in Rhode Island.

好吧，我在羅德島。

so my home.

所以我的家。

You both are in Rhode Island.

你們都在羅德島

Yes.

是的，我知道

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

We're and this is near Providence?

我們和這是在普羅維登斯附近？

Yes.

是的，我知道

Right outside of Providence.

就在普羅維登斯的外面。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

big snowstorm coming down.

大暴風雪來了。

It's coming down right now.

現在就下來了。

Okay.

好吧，我知道了

Let me tell you my Rhode Island story.

讓我來告訴你我在羅德島的故事。

Okay, now that you're here, and yes,

好吧，既然你來了，是的。

I'll do anything I can for you.

我會為你做任何事情。

But I'll say to you,

但我要對你說。

that is this though, Joe.

就是這樣，雖然，喬。

I will help you

我幫你

in any way I can.

盡我所能

Your brother has four cameras.

你弟弟有四個攝像頭

I have one.

我有一個。

I think you're talking

我想你說的是

to the wrong guy.

給錯誤的人。

You ready for my Rhode Island story,

你準備好聽我的羅德島故事了嗎？

Please.

求你了

My grandfather had a little cottage down

我的祖父有一個小平房下來。

in Rhode Island.

在羅德島州。

We didn't have a summer place when I

我們沒有一個夏天的地方，當我。

was growing up.

在成長過程中。

So we would go and we visit my grandfather

所以我們會去看望我的祖父

in the town.

在該鎮。

There's a fancy

有一個花哨的

town nearby called Watch Hill,

附近的鎮子叫看山。

there was this big mansion

大宅門

on a hill.

在山上。

So many, many years later,

這麼多年，很多年後。

I'm walking through that town.

我正走過那個小鎮。

And I buy there's a nice painting of

我買了一幅很好的畫作

that mansion on a hill

山莊

that looks out at the sea

眺望大海

and Rhode Island.

和羅得島。

I buy it. And I'm like, this is cool.

我買了它。我想，這是酷。

This reminds me of my youth.

這讓我想起了我的青春。

My grandfather hanging out with my brothers

我爺爺和我的兄弟們一起玩

and sisters going to the State Beach.

和姐妹們去州灘。

This is really cool.

這真的很酷。

And I put it up

我把它掛起來

on my wall.

在我的牆上。

Lo and behold about five years after I do that,

看吧，大約在我做了五年之後。

Taylor Swift buys that mansion,

泰勒-斯威夫特買下了那棟豪宅。

completely re does it

完全重來

and it becomes Taylor Swift's like Graceland.

併成為泰勒斯威夫特的像Graceland。

Literally, there's like musical notes

從字面上看，有像音符

on the gate.

門上。

it's this big thing.

這是一個大事情。

People hang around out front to try

人們在前面徘徊，以嘗試

and see Taylor Swift.

並看到泰勒-斯威夫特。

I have that painting.

我有那幅畫。

And I put it

我把它

in our guest room here at my house

在我家的客房裡

in Los Angeles.

在洛杉磯。

So these people come to stay with me

所以這些人都來和我一起住

and I'm showing in the guest room

我在客房裡展示

and they say what's that a painting of

他們說，那是什麼畫的

and I went,

我就去了。

that's my painting

那是我的畫

of Taylor Swift's

泰勒-斯威夫特的

and everyone's like,

和每個人的喜歡。

You're a fucking freak.

你是一個他媽的怪胎。

You're a creep.

你是個變態。

You're a creep.

你是個變態。

And I didn't explain that.

我也沒有解釋。

I had it long.

我有它長。

It's like,

這就像。

I had a painting made

我有一幅畫

of her home.

她家的。

And I'm gonna marry her someday

我總有一天會娶她的

because I love taking

因為我喜歡拿

swift and now the Mr. Swift.

Swift和現在的Swift先生。

That's my story.

這就是我的故事。

I just want you

我只是想讓你

to appreciate my Rhode Island roots.

欣賞我在羅德島的根。

Joe had one story that I thought was really funny

喬有一個故事，我覺得非常有趣。

about being an intern.

關於做實習生。

I go, Do you have a memory of being

我走了，你有一個記憶，被

on the show?

在節目中？

Yeah, Joe You were an intern for us?

是的，喬，你是我們的實習生？

What do you remember?

你記得什麼？

I was and one of the the honors

我是和榮譽之一

of being the intern was that he would

作為實習生的是，他將

once a week it will be your job to order

每週一次，你的工作是訂購。

and dinner for Conan ,Andy Richter

和柯南，安迪-裡希特的晚餐。

and the writers throw their, write their initials.

和作家們扔他們的，寫他們的首字母。

Joe you know this is Conan.

喬，你知道這是柯南

Right?

對吧？

I know that.

我知道這一點。

It's been a long time since Joe,

很久沒有喬。

A, work for me

A，為我工作

or B, watch the show.

或B，看戲。

So he right now thinks he thinks he's talking

所以他現在認為他認為他在說話

to a very pleasant middle aged Irish woman.

對一個非常愉快的愛爾蘭中年婦女。

So the question was when I was

所以問題是當我

ordering the dinner, because I'm,

點餐，因為我。

I'm 20 years old at the time,

當時我20歲。

and you're stressful working television

和你的壓力工作的電視

for the first time like that.

第一次這樣。

And it's, the question was,

而它的，問題是。

can I put Conan CEO initials

我可以把柯南CEO的首字母寫在上面嗎？

on his dinner?

在他的晚餐上？

Or would someone trying to kill him?

還是會有人想殺他？

Perhaps?

也許吧？

Guess what, guess what?

猜猜看，猜猜看？

There were people out

有人在外面

to kill me then.

要殺我的話。

And actually, they weren't on the same network as me.

而實際上，他們和我不在同一個網絡上。

So

所以

one of them was one of them was Jay Leno.

其中一個是其中一個是傑-雷諾。

I know which;

我知道是哪個

one it is with that?

一個它是與該？

What's funny, Conan eating?

有什麼好笑的，柯南吃東西？

Wait, can I just borrow it for a second?

等等，我可以借一下嗎？

There you go.

這就對了

Take care of that little now

照顧好現在這個小