>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY!

>> 史蒂芬： 歡迎回來，各位！

LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

讓我們向JON BATISTE先生問好。JON BATISTE。

HELLO, JON.

你好，喬恩。

AHOY, CAPTAIN.

Ahoy，船長。

PERMISSION TO COME ABOARD.

允許上船。

LET ME SEE.

讓我看看

GET A LITTLE CLOSER.

靠近一點。

WHAT DOES THAT HAT SAY NOW THAT IS A REALLY GOOD LOOK.

帽子上寫著什麼呢？ 那是一個非常好的外觀。

ARE YOU GETTING READY FOR MARDI GRAS?

你準備好參加狂歡節了嗎？

IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ABOUT?

這是什麼意思？

>> St>> Stephen: JON, CAN YOU GI ME A LITTLE SECOND LINE?

>> 史蒂芬：喬恩，你能給我一點第二行嗎？

YOU CAN MATCH YOUR HAT WITH YOUR FINGERS?

你可以用手指來匹配你的帽子？

♪ ♪ ♪ JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

"JON BATISTE，EVERYBODY"。

>> Jon: OW!

>> 喬恩：嗷！

>> Stephen: THANK YOU, JON.

>> 史蒂芬：謝謝你，喬恩。

YOU KNOW, I SPEND THE BULK OF MY DAY WHIPPING THE DAY'S BIGGEST

你知道嗎，我每天的大部分時間都在處理當天最大的事情。

STORIES INTO AN EXQUISITELY FORMED TOPICAL MERINGUE BASE,

進入一個精確的主題營銷基礎的故事。

ADDING JUST A DROP OF NEWS-WORTHY EXTRACT, THEN

添加一滴新聞價值的摘錄，然後是

BAKING IT 'TIL IT'S PERFECTLY JIGGLY IN THE CENTER BEFORE

烘烤至中心完全抖動後再進行。

LAYERING IT WITH CHIFFON CAKE AND FLAWLESSLY VENEERING IT IN

鋪上芝華士蛋糕，並在蛋糕上均勻地塗抹上乙烯。

BUTTERCREAM TO CRAFT YOU THE BESPOKE SEVEN-TIERED GATEAU THAT

BUTTERCREAM為您打造的七層樓閣，是您的最佳選擇。

IS MY MONOLOGUE.

是我的獨白。

BUT SOMETIMES, JUST SOMETIMES I LIKE TO BLEND SOME EXPIRED EGGS

但有時，只是有時我喜歡把一些過期的雞蛋混合起來。

WITH A BAG OF SAWDUST, SCRAPE IN SOME OF MY WIFE'S CONGEALED

用一袋鋸末，在我妻子的凝結物上刮上幾下。

TOFFEE-BUTTER HAND CREAM, THROW IT ON A HOT CAR HOOD TO HARDEN

抹在熱車的引擎蓋上，使其更硬朗。

UP, AND THEN DECORATE IT WITH SOME DIRTY PENNIES I FOUND UNDER

然後用我在下面找到的一些髒兮兮的硬幣來裝飾它。

THE COUCH TO CREATE THE HEALTH-CODE VIOLATING,

創造違反衛生法的教練。

GAS-STATION POUND CAKE OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

煤氣站磅蛋糕的新聞，這是我的部門。

>> QUARANTINE-WHILE!

>> QUARANTINE-WHILE!

>> Stephen: QUARANTINE-WHILE, YESTERDAY, MYANMAR WAS HIT WITH

>> Stephen:QUARANTINE -HILE, YESTERDAY, MYANMAR WAS HIT WITH...

A MILITARY COUP.

一支軍事部隊。

I KNOW, NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT THAT, RIGHT?

我知道，沒有什麼好玩的，對不對？

WRONG.

錯了

BECAUSE A P.E. TEACHER STREAMED A WORKOUT VIDEO IN HER USUAL

因為一位體育老師在她平時的課堂上播放了一段健身視頻。

SPOT ON THE MAIN ROAD OF THE CAPITAL AS THE COUP GOT

在首都主幹道上的斑點，因為這對夫婦被抓了。

UNDERWAY RIGHT BEHIND HER.

在她身後進行。

THIS IS REAL, ACTUAL VIDEO THAT WE HAVE NOT TAMPERED WITH IN ANY

這是真實的，實際的視頻，我們沒有做任何篡改。

WAY: ♪ ♪ ♪

途徑：

♪ ♪ ♪ MAN, YOU THINK YOUR PELOTON

"男人，你認為你的賽艇隊

COACH IS INTENSE.

教練是很用心的。

THAT IS A VERY DEDICATED AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR.

那是一個非常敬業的飛行器教練。

"AND FOUR AND THREE AND OCCUPY THE PARLIAMENT!

"和四和三，佔領議會！

I SEE YOU SLACKING, CINDY!

我看到你滑倒了，辛迪！

THIS GOVERNMENT ISN'T GOING TO OVERTHROW ITSELF, OKAY?

這個政府是不會推翻自己的，好嗎？

YOU GOT TO WANT IT!" I COULD WATCH THAT ALL DAY.

你一定要得到它！"我可以看一整天。

COULD WE WATCH IT AGAIN?

我們能再看一遍嗎？

COULD WE WATCH IT AGAIN?

我們能再看一遍嗎？

JIM, PLAY IT AGAIN.

吉姆，再玩一次。

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

QUARANTINE WHILE, UP TO 100 PEOPLE WHO TOOK PART IN AN

量子化，而參加過一次活動的人多達100人。

ILLEGAL ORANGEY IN FRANCE HAVE BEEN SLAPPED BY FINDS.

在法國的非法橘子被發現後被拍了下來。

SAID ONE PARTICIPANT, "OKAY BY ME DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU'RE

一位參與者說："我沒問題，這要看你在哪裡了。

SLAPPING.

啪啪啪。

THE MAIN REASON TO SHUT IT DOWN IS IT TOOK PLACE BETWEEN

關掉它的主要原因是它發生在兩個人之間。

P.M.

P.M.

AND 6:00 A.M., AND, ACCORDING TO AN INVESTIGATOR, "THE EVENT WAS

和早上6點，而且，據一位調查員說，"事件是：

IN BREACH OF THE CURFEW... AND THERE WERE ALSO PROBLEMS WITH

違反宵禁... ...還有一些問題，與

MASKS AND SOCIAL DISTANCING."

面具和社會距離。"

WELL... YEAH.

嗯... 是的。

IF YOU'RE ABLE TO ENGAGE IN AN ORGY FROM MORE THAN SIX FEET

如果你能從超過六英尺的地方參與到鳥類的活動中去。

AWAY, CONGRATULATIONS!

走吧，恭喜你!

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IT'S BEEN LESS THAN A WEEK, AND ALREADY RIVAL

QUARANTINE--雖然，它還不到一個星期，但已經可以媲美。

MOVIES ABOUT THE GAMESTOP STOCK MARKET EVENTS ARE BEING RUSHED

關於遊戲機股票市場事件的電影正在被催生。

INTO PRODUCTION.

進入生產。

OOH!

哦！

THE MINUTE WE FIND OUT WHICH ONE HOLLYWOOD THINKS IS MOST LIKELY

一分鐘後，我們就會發現，一個好萊塢認為最有可能的人是誰。

TO SUCCEED, LET'S ALL BUY TICKETS TO THE OTHER ONE.

為了成功，讓我們一起買票到另一個。

QUARANTINE-WHILE, IF YOU HAD TO POSTPONE YOUR WEDDING DUE TO

誇倫汀--如果你不得不延後你的婚禮，由於。

COVID, SORRY ABOUT THAT, BUT THIS STORY'S FOR YOU, BECAUSE

科維德，很抱歉，但這個故事是給你的，因為...

THIS VALENTINE'S DAY, YOU CAN GET MARRIED AT A DUNKIN'

這個情人節，你可以在DUNKIN'結婚。

DRIVE-THROUGH.

駕車通過。

PERFECT FOR ANYONE WHO'S EVER THOUGHT, "MY WEDDING JUST WON'T

最適合那些曾經想過 "我的婚禮就是不可能 "的人。

BE COMPLETE WITHOUT AN OFF-DUTY CONSTRUCTION CREW YELLING AT ME

沒有下班的建築工人對我大喊大叫，就能完成任務

TO HURRY THE HELL UP."

"要快點了。"

AND DON'T FORGET THEIR MOTTO ON YOUR WEDDING NIGHT: "AMERICA

不要忘了他們在你的婚禮之夜的口號："美國"。

HUMPS ON DUNKIN'."

哼哼在DUNKIN'。"

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH ZENDAYA.

我們馬上回來與ZENDAYA。

( HUMMING )

（嗡嗡）