(Josh laughs)

(Rob screams)

(upbeat music)

- Hey guys, welcome to "Stir Crazy".

My guest today loves football, comedy and Zoom talk shows.

Hey, I'm decent at at least one of those things.

It's Rob Riggle. - Hello.

- Is that a football in your pants,

or are you just happy to see me today, sir?

- Hey oh!

It's a football in my pants, actually.

I put a football in my pants.

- So there is, apparently, this team

called the Kansas City Chiefs,

and they're going to the Super Bowl.

Have you heard about this?

Have you gotten notifications?

- I've been made aware of it through my Google Alerts,

that there is the football club

from Kansas City to going to the Super Bowl.

Obviously, I grew up in Kansas City.

So I'm a huge Kansas City Chiefs fan.

So these are the greatest days of my life.

- Between a one and a birth of your children,

like where is this in the happiness meter of Rob Riggle?

- A half a percentage point under birth of children.

- At least it's below, I'm relieved, but it is that high.

- Yeah, I mean, again, half a percentage point, it's close.

- The Kansas City Chiefs, your team,

has a disproportionate amount

of attractive, funny men that like it.

It's like an odd, strange...

You got the Paul Rudds.

You got the John Hamms.

He got the Sudeikises.

You got the Riggles.

What?

- The Dave Koechners, the Eric Stonestreets, oh yeah.

- It's odd.

Are you competitive with them, over like

who's the biggest fan in that peer group?

Like, are you a bigger Chiefs fan?

- No. - No?

- No, I think it's pretty well established

that I'm the number one fan, but yeah.

- [Josh] That seems like...

- I don't think it's being contested anymore, is it?

What have you heard?

- No, I mean, I would have to get them on.

I don't have their direct lines.

- Well, it's weird that you would even bring it up.

'Cause I thought it was understood.

- No, no I guess I didn't do

enough research to realize that it was...

- But you obviously heard something.

You heard like someone's challenging-

- You actually seem really defensive all of a sudden.

You've changed like the way you...

- Hey, no, no, you brought it up.

I just wanna be real clear.

- Okay, for the record, in Rob Riggle's mind,

he's the number one fan.

And maybe that's true, maybe it's not, I guess is what...

What, what is that?

Number one, that's- - Number one.

- Okay, okay, whatever gets you to bed at night.

How far would you go for the love of this team?

Like, would you kill a dude to earn Pat Mahomes' respect?

You're taking way too long on this.

There was an obvious answer,

and you're failing miserably right now.

- Oh, I'm sorry, you're right.

The answer's yes, sorry.

- Okay, good to know (laughs).

- When I think of football,

I think of the touchdown celebrations.

I know they're a little bit muted in recent years.

You're not allowed to kinda go crazy after a touchdown.

But I wanna celebrate what those dances,

what those celebrations are all about.

I have a challenge for you.

I'm gonna give you a name of a touchdown celebration.

You show me in as much detail as you want

how this celebration would go in your brain.

(upbeat music)

Okay, this is the touchdown celebration

known as the Riggle Wiggle, what happens?

- It's a...

You gotta almost...

It's like machine gun shoulders.

- It's like, am I looking

at Shakira or Rob Riggle right now?

I don't know.

Okay, we call this one the Enthusiastic Librarian.

What happens?

(Josh laughs)

- It's a lot of, but they do that.

You see players doing that to shush the crowd

when they're at the other person's stadium.

So that would be it.

I would just walk on shushing everybody.

But first you gotta be going through the pages.

(Josh laughs)

- Finally, this is my favorite.

This is a new touchdown celebration

we call the Exploding Penis.

(Josh laughs)

(Rob screams)

- And it goes on for five more minutes, that exact-

- Wow, that's a peek

into your personal life I never wanted.(laughs)

By my count, let's see, I checked IMDB,

you've been in 129 projects.

I don't know what like debts you have

that you're trying to pay off, what's going on.

Take a break, buddy, what's going on? (laughs)

Is there one line that you get quoted to you?

I have a guess, but you tell me,

what's the one line you get the most?

- People yell "Pal" at me a lot.

And I also get "Not up in here."

I get, "Not you, fat Jesus" "In the face"

those are the ones I get the most.

- So when you say something like "In the face"

in "Hangover" does it register like,

oh, I bet this is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life or?

No, you never know.

- No, not at all, not at all.

That's the thing about,

I've been so blessed in the projects that I've done,

that they allow me to improvise.

But it's a blessing and a curse,

because sometimes you just say things,

and you don't even think twice about it.

You don't even remember you said it

until you see in the premiere or whatever.

You see it in the film.

I did something at the end of "21 Jump Street"

where I actually get my ding-a-ling shot off.

I think I went down out of cameras,

I pick up my my ding-a-ling or whatever,

and they're like, no.

And Jonah said, "Try to grab it with your mouth"

or whatever, so I went out of frame

to try to grab something.

Got a big reaction from the crew.

So next thing I know,

they're getting a banana out of crafting.

You know, they're putting fake blood on it and stuff,

and I got to grab it with my mouth.

It comes up and pops out of my mouth.

Oh, more laughs.

And I'm thinking, this is just to keep our energy up.

This is just good hi-jinks and fun.

No way the good people at Sony

are gonna allow this to be put in

the final version of the movie.

Well, that's what happens,

my friend, sometimes these things...

Now that lives on forever.

- Do people ask you to recreate

the scene for them, with their own junk?

- Thank God no, but I do have people come up and say,

hey man, you got your dick shot off.

I'm like, okay, here we go.

(Josh laughs)

Next challenge for you.

This is a game we love to play.

We call this Who Am I?

Here's what's gonna happen.

You're gonna get a bunch of celebrity names

shown to you on the screen.

You're gonna have to try to make me guess who you are.

(upbeat music)

You've got a mohawk, Mr. T.

(Rob mumbles)

- Kermit the- - You're Kermit the frog?

- How does Kermit talk?

Does Kermit the frog talk like this?

- Yeah, but wait, are you Kermit the Frog?

'Cause that ruins the game, Rob.

- Oh no, no, I'm not.

- You're not Kermit the frog.

You're an acquaintance of Kermit.

- Would you like to buy some Allstate?

- Wilford Brimley?

Are these football players?

'Cause I'm gonna get every one of these wrong if it is.

- Yes.

- (laughs) Who was that?

- Patrick Mahomes.

That was Patrick Mahomes.

- We've established I don't know anything.

Why are we doing this?

- Hi SpongeBob, how are you?

- Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Who's Sponge Bob's friend?

Jeff?

- Same, name as the last guy.

- Patrick, the starfish, Mahomes, the-

I got it, really?

I'm learning so much today.

Oh, you're the queen.

You're...

- I also throw footballs, what's up?

- You're a gentleman, you're Tom Brady.

Oh really? - You got it.

- Wow, it's like one of three quarterbacks I knew.

- That was my Tom Brady handsome face.

- All right, it's my turn.

Let me have a crack at this.

Oh, I'm a funny guy that's in the poster behind you.

- Oh, Will Ferrell.

- I love Kentucky Fried Chicken and I'm in the military.

- Rob Riggle.

- (laughs) Well, this guy also fits the bill.

He's wears white and he's like old timey and...

- Colonel Sanders.

- Yeah, there you go.

Thank God these aren't football players.

Oh, "21 Jump Street" Star, not Jonah Hill, the other guy.

- Channing Tatum.

- There he is.

- I thought we had to do impersonations.

That's why I was trying to do the Kermit voice.

(Josh laughs)

You just described these.

Is this Pyramid or is this impersonations charades?

What are we doing?

- Some really stupid Would You Rather

questions for you, Rob, you ready?

- Fire away, yes.

(upbeat music)

- Would you rather have a football-shaped penis or nose?

Are you looking at your,

what are you doing?

Are you looking at it?

- I mean, it's oddly shaped.

I don't wanna talk about it.

I think it's already done, the die is already cast.

- I hit upon a sore subject, I didn't realize.

Would you rather legally change your name

to Patrick Mahomy or Rob Wiggle?

- Patrick Mahomy.

- That's cool, or is it just,

you don't wanna go by the wiggle?

- No, I think it's just cool.

I think that's what's up, Patrick Mahomy.

- Would you rather live

locked inside the jumbotron at Arrowhead,

or be in a Marine boot camp for six months?

- Oh, the jumbotron, no doubt.

- (laughs) Is that, you wanna live there,

or you don't wanna go back to boot camp?

- Actually, I wanna live in the jumbotron.

That's just nonstop Chiefs happiness all the time.

- Yeah, would you rather

never watch football again or never act again?

- Come on, that's... - Maniacal.

- My brain just melted,

half my brain just melted inside my skull.

That was a melt down.