Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles - [Man] You want to do a movie? We'll get one of your head characters from the TV show. Take the momentum right into a movie. You're ready? - I don't know. - Here we go. (music plays) - [Narrator] Once in a great while a filming comes along that changes the way we think about ourselves. - Last time, last time now, I want you to push Ms. Chappelle. I want you to push! (screams) - (coughs) Excuse me. - That is one funny ass kid! - Waka waka! (laughs) - [Doctor] And look at the penis on him! It's bigger than mine! What are you going to name him? - I'm going to call him Dave. - [Doctor] Dave? - Dave Chappelle. - Watch your eye. - [Narrator] He set his sights on comedy and would not be denied. - Where you from, when you leaving? Nice shirt. Does it come in your size? Do I come to your job to smack the broom at your hand? Something needs to happen with this comedy thing right now! (Eminem "Lose yourself" instrumental plays) Jokes and jokes and jokes and jokes and ha ha ha ha ha. Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti! 8 mile! - [Narrator] His skills took them to the top and allowed him to have sex with Janet Jackson, Jennifer Lopez, a bunch of the girls from the "Big Pimpin'" video and Halle Berry. - That was great, having sex in the shower Halle Berry. Drained my Monster's balls! (laughs) Aw girl, hold up, I'm going to call, I'll be right back. Hello? - [Eddie] Hey Dave, this is Eddie Murphy. - [Richard] And Richard Pryor. - Aw, what's up y'all? - [Richard] Hey man, we were just talking about how much funny you are than us. - Y'all crazy, man. - [Richard] Can you come and have dinner with us, Dave? I mean really, please. Could you have some dinner? - Dinner tonight sounds great Richard Pryor! - [Richard] Really? Ha, you gon' bring Halle? Cause that's a fine bitch. - [Dave] Nah son, that aint no dinner thing. Call me later, man. Hey Halle, how are you getting home? - [Narrator] And all the time, he kept it real. - Did I tell yall to sell drugs? Huh? No! Hov did that. So hopefully I have to go through that! - [Narrator] His amazing journey led him straight to the halls of power. - [Dave] Thanks for having me, Mr. Bush. I appreciate the invitation. - [Bush] Well son, your huge heart generosity and courage have saved America. You're the champ. - I know I am. I beat everybody I've faced and I'm still here! I'm still standing, I'm still strong! I'm great! - [Bush] Would you like to take a bath with my daughters? They can learn something from you and I heard you have a 16 inch penis. - 18, but who's counting? (both laugh) - [Narrator] Dave Chappelle, written and directed by Dave Chappelle. - [Bush] Yeah, gimme one of them, yeah. Did I get that right? - (laughing) No! - I need you to know the depth of my feelings for you. I want you to know that, I would die for you. No matter what I do, what I say, every time I try to show you it's as if, it's as if you don't hear me. Do you? Do you- - What!? - [Narrator] Lil' Jon in Love, crunking with this bitches emotions, this July 11th. - Was it good for you? - Yeah! Yeah! - You want a sandwich? - What? - Do you want a sandwich? - What? - Do you want a sandwich? - Huh? - A sandwich? - Okay! - Do you love me? (laughs sharply) - How's that sandwich coming? - [Narrator] This summer, only in theaters. - Good evening and welcome to "Inside Chappelle's Show studio." We're here tonight to celebrate the career of a brilliant young man, comedian actor, artists, magician, and some would say a smooth pimped out player from the streets that knows how to get his. Please welcome, David Chappelle. (crowd claps) - Thank you. It's overwhelming, so use to taping a comedy show. So this is incredible. Thank you, William. - You've done over 74 films. We'll cover what time allows. David in 1987, you burst onto the scene with one of the most auspicious debuts in modern times. I'm talking, of course about your portrayal of private Jackson in "Fighting Charlie with Mr. Charlie." - Yeah. (crowd claps) - Thank you, thank you. - Here it is. You're a breathtaking Oscar nominated performance. (screams) - Oww! Little help! Ahhh! Damn, dog what took you so long? They got me! Aye, you who calling? Who that, the police? Tell him I got shot by some Chinese gangstas. I could describe 'em! Hello, Police! - [Commander] Good lord Jackson! Get outta here, he's too far gone. - Word? - [Commander] You're going to be all right soldier, you made America proud. You're a damn hero son! - [Dave] Hey, hey, you sneaking! You might go to shoot yourself in the stomach and come lay down with me. They going to see you. I was sneaking the same way sir! Permission to carry out one last mission sir. - What is it, soldier? - Permission to die sarge! - Permission granted. You report to heaven in 0800 hours and that's an order soldier. - I'll tell him, Uncle Sam sent me! - Why god! Why? - [Dave] Don't ask god. Ask Nixon. Why Nixon? Why? Oww, death! - I would love some (beep) before I go, ah! (crowd claps) - After Mr. Charlie, you took what many considered the role of a lifetime when you played the Duke of Yorkville, in "Improper Inquisitions". (crowd claps) Let's take a look. - [Dave] My lady, my lady don't run from me, my lady! Hey! - My lord, I need to know. Twas there another maiden in our bed? - Say'ith twhat? It appears as though my lady has been rummaging through my things and found'ith her, her birthday present early. Yes. Surprise! - Lie'ith not. That are not pretty. - The last maiden that accused me of lying. I stuck my foot betwist her buttocks, so ravagely! - Ah! - [Dave] Then broke'ith off and snap'ith as the twig daugth snap! So my lady, I invite the to come and watch me unsheath my sword and swing it and sway it upon the! Bring'ith! Oh! Uhhh, awwww, ohhh! Oh, Hmm. Well. Hmm. Seems as though the boudoir, perhaps won't be necessary. I've soiled my pantaloons. I'm going to get a bowl of cereal. You get some rest, ta ta! (crowd claps) - David, I've spoken to many actors who have played the physically challenged. When Daniel Day Lewis saw your performance in "Little foot, Long foot", he threw up. In the movie, you played Stanley. A handicapped man with a heart of gold. It's visual poetry. - Thank you. - Short foot, long foot. Little foot, long foot! Ah! - [Man] Sir, let me help you! - Get your, god damned hands off of me! - But, wet floor! - Shut up, oh! (thwap) Ah! - I don't need your, damn pity! (screams) (inspirational music plays) (yells) - Get off of me! - Sir, I don't want you to slip on my skateboard. - Shut your damn mouth you, pothead! (slow motion scream) (thud) - Ahhh! (inspirational music plays) May I have a double cheese burger? A large fry and something cold to drink. (slow clap begins) (everyone claps) And the terry pie! And a milkshake! Ahhh! (crowd cheers) - Dave Chappelle, thank you. - [Dave] Thank you.
B1 dave chappelle narrator halle spaghetti richard The Best Movie Parodies Vol. 2 - Chappelle’s Show 7 0 林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/05 More Share Save Report Video vocabulary