I don't know if you like the dish or not.

- You don't know if I like the dish or not?

Well, let's put it this way.

Pack your (bleep) knives.

Get out, you're off the show.

(upbeat music) (vocalizing)

♪ I gotta say ♪

♪ I want you ♪

♪ But I don't need you ♪

- [Announcer] Today, on Judge Jessie.

Judge Jessie turns up the heat.

- You signed a pice of paper, he gave you the snake,

then you bring a snake into the home

with two small chihuahuas.

- I had not been made aware

that the snake would get rid of its skin

and then the sprinklers came down

with the snake skin, ruined my carpet.

- [Judge] What set off the sprinklers?

- Unrelated popcorn fire, your honor.

- [Announcer] Judge Jessie.

As a police officer,

he defended the streets.

As a trial lawyer.

- Objection!

- He fought for the truth.

As a black belt.

(shouting)

He mastered discipline.

As a carpenter.

He learned the value of craftsmanship.

As a surgeon, he mastered a cool head.

As a crack ho,

(spitting)

he learned to go days without sleep.

And as an announcer,

he does the voiceover on this show.

Coming up on Judge Jessie.

Mr. Simmons, before you speak,

I know from experience, that the police

have completely mishandled your case

and there's legal precedent for you to win

and any good defense attorney would of told you that.

I also know that obviously the place

where you hurt your back

wasn't structurally up to code, Mr. Oyama

and furthermore, as a sensei,

you should know a man of his skill set

cannot do a makiage.

You should know that.

Obviously, I can tell by looking at your alignment,

that you've herniated a disc,

someplace in your L4, your L5.

I'm finding for the plaintiff.

Not $2,500.

$2,700, Mr. Oyama.

- Thank you, your honor.

- You're quite welcome.

- [Announcer] Judge Jessie.

- Dusty, can I suck your (bleep)?

(upbeat music)

- [Announcer] We met b-boy, Joesph, in Atlanta, GA.

- Hi, Joesph.

- What's up?

- Start the music.

(electronic dance music)

- Has he started yet?

- I'm pretty sure this is it.

(electronic dance music)

Thank you.

- Yeah, thank you.

- I aint done yet, though.

- Thank you, Joesph.

It's definitely a no for me.

- It's a no.

I'm sorry.

- No.

- All right.

Thank you, Joesph.

- Thank you.

- 'Cause, you know I aint got no formal training

or nothing like that.

I learned on the streets.

- That was very apparent,

as it turns out, Joesph.

So, thank you for coming.

- You know that my momma's on drugs

and my daddy in jail?

- It's not, not really relevant.

- Born in coffee can under a bridge?

- That's terrible, Joesph.

That, that's awful.

But it's not going to--

- My sister shot my brother while my cousin beat my uncle?

- Okay, now it's a lie.

- It's a little bit much.

Joesph, thank you very much, but--

- Put myself through school by renting my body out

as a heroin suitcase?

- All right. - Wow.

- I see what's going on.

Joesph, please, we do have other dancers

here today who are waiting there turn very politely.

No, Joesph, let her come on stage.

- Oh, okay. - Let her come,

no, Joesph.

- If I win this competition I can put a roof over my house,

'cause I got a house that aint got no roof,

for real, though?

- Joesph.

- Just one little thing, though.

- Don't do it, Joesph.

- Really big, it was a loud bridge.

- Don't finish that sentence.

- I got hearing damage in this ear.

- Joesph!

- And also in this ear.

- Joesph!

- The bridge have had trucks go over it.

- Joesph. - Because the bridge.

- Keep it.

- 15 ton.

- Hold it.

Put it in your mouth

and get off my stage.

- Rated six.

- Joe.

- That's a big truck.

- Sph.

Okay, Joesph, please.

And who is this?

- Oh who is this right there?

This is my 12 year old daughter

who I raised all by myself without the help

of anybody else in the entire world,

she is my inspiration.

- Joesph, it doesn't matter, there's nothing

you can do or say that's going to make us change

our minds today.

- That right there, that right there,

that's her daughter.

She blind.

Come on.

So, I raised them both by myself

without nobody else's help.

- Come get your ticket to Vegas.

(cheering)

- [Judge] Oh my God, yes.

- Good job. - Tremendous.

- Can you believe it? - Did you see that?

- I'm getting goosies over here.

I'm getting goosies, I am.

(soft tense music)

- Drew, come forward.

- Yes, Chef.

This is a chicken quiche with cremini mushrooms,

baby spinach, and feta cheese.

(soft tense music)

- Unbelievable.

Walter, I have a huge problem with this dish.

It's that you haven't made it for me sooner.

(upbeat music)

- Thank you, Chef.

- Because if you had, Drew,

then I would know how good you are at cooking food

that's bad.

(tense music)

- I'm sorry, Chef.

- And when I say bad,

I mean Michael Jackson Bad.

(upbeat music)

- Thank you, Chef.

- You know how he looked really really bad

at the end of his life?

(tense music)

- Chef, I'm sorry.

I don't know if you like the dish or not.

- You don't know if I like the dish or not?

Well, let's put it this way.

Pack your (bleep) knives, get out,

you're off the show.

- Sorry, Chef.

- Because, you should be working

in the finest restaurants in the world.

(upbeat music)

- Thank you, Chef.

- Just not any world that I live in.

(tense music)

- Sorry, Chef.

- Because frankly, Drew, I'm jealous of you.

- Thank you, Chef?

- And your ability to not give a shit

about what you cook.

(tense music)

This is not fit for human consumption.

No, this should be eaten by a higher life form

with a more complex palette

but also a altruistic drive

to save humanity from dishes like this.

Joking.

Not!

You deserve to die!

(screaming) (tense music)

(grunting) (wet crunching)

So you won't have to endure a life

in which you will never exceed

what you have achieved here today.

(upbeat music)

- Thank you, Chef.

- In conclusion.

Uh.

- [Narrator] As Don's week at the warehouse was wrapping up,

it was time to come clean with his employees.

- Actually, everybody.

I've got an announcement to make.

- Don't nobody want to hear your bull (bleep), newbie.

- Okay. - Don't nobody want

to hear it!

- I think you will hear about this one.

So gather around.

I'm not actually a new employee.

- You can say that again, you a waste of space

as far as I'm concerned.

Can't get nothing done in time.

Like a snail over here.

(chuckling)

- I am actually President of the company.

You're on Undercover Boss.

(laughing)

TV show.

- What?

- In this week

since I've been working here amongst ya.

I got to hear each and every one of your stories.

Just about and uh--

- You know I was just playing right?

You know I was just trying

to lighten the mood in the workplace and what not?

- Thank you, Joesph.

Bill,

Buddy, you're telling me that your car broke down

and it hasn't been working right ever since,

well I want to get you a new Ford Explorer.

- Oh my God, thank you so much, Mark,

that means so much to me.

- My whole family died in one day.

- Thank you.

- Huge car crash. - Joesph.

- Huge man,

we were having a family picnic

and then this truck just came on through

and just killing everybody,

chopping everyone's heads off.

- Eleanore.

You were worried that you were not

gonna be able to afford college

for your two boys

and uh, I'm starting a college fund for them both,

I'm putting $10,000 in each one of them.

- This is amazing.

I'm so grateful.

- You know I can't make no family anymore

'cause my dick got chopped up in an accident

and now I pee out the side.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night,

I just, I start to pee.

Right in my mouth.

- Joesph, that's.

- Sometimes poop come out the other side.

I don't even know what-- - Joesph!

- Dick is in eight pieces.

- Joesph.

Okay, you know.

- Please just give me a rise.

I aint asking for no kind of scholarships or nothing.

- Joesph, I'm gonna get,

I'm gonna get to you right now.

- Okay, did I mention I was like a prostitute

since the age of 17? - No, Joesph.

- 15. - Joesph.

- 10. - Joesph.

- Seven. - Joesph.

- Three, been a prostitute

since I was three.

I was a prostitute in the womb.

- Joesph.

- Dude put his pee pee in my mama