America, America!

America!

America!

America.

Did you see that?

America?

You'll see that America.

But I'll tell you one thing.

America, America.

Y'all know, for me, I don't mean to toot my own horn America, but burning Max genius.

It got a to do list my address book and the section where I could write my little reminder notes like Kill Jordan.

It's like I got a George Foreman grill in my head and I gotta drain the grease.

If they keep it up, I'm gonna lose my mind.

Oh, I'm kidding.

You just can't send your kids away.

America.

What's it?

I'm checking out.

Boy is bad.

I mean, unskilled.

Not even raw talent.

I didn't tell you.

My sister.

Kid, right?

Yeah.

You don't know the story.

You know, she's on crack.

Just take a little time.

You might be a late bloomer.

Wrong.

One built overnight.

You might a computer whiz.

You never know.

Lord, you know I do everything you have.

You could take the kids.

I can't take my babies.

Hm.

Wow.

That shot right pocket.

Even though it didn't happen to me, I could still feel it.

The boy is young.

He had plenty of time to heal.

And they're doing tremendous things with stem cells these days.

Here's Christmas of yesteryear.

Look in pure as the driven snow.

Now, here's Christmas this year.

Not exactly the Christmas photo I was looking for the minute.

Quite a stupid shit.

Maybe alone gets away.

These kids taking me through all that.

Just a pain in the ass Who every time he knows a kid around your body start hurting kid around.

Somebody told kids clothes Who my booty hurting someone?

Kids somewhere.

But oh, Children When I was a baby girl and I used to pray for snow Day you to put up the mamas up to a light So big Mama thought I was burning up.

Remember time I want to be sick of Big Mama.

Put a thermometer in the crack.

You know, ever since then I don't like nothing in my ass.

You know what?

That felt really good.

I mean, not landed on my head and all Now who said parenting is hard?

You just gotta know how to put it on autopilot.

Oh, no, You did.

You hear that?

Sounds like music to my ears.

Take five.

Jordan, take five Take a nap.

Take some.

I hate my love.

They make me sick.

I love you Can find it nowhere.

Not New York, huh?

Cleveland?

Huh?

L a Yeah, he's so silly.

Oh, my God.

America is possible that Elvis is still alive.

It is also possible that Michael Jackson ain't crazy.

Her mama made this little week sweater for me, and it makes her happy just to see me.

And so here I am.

Look at this.

What the is this?

Flip the bird.

I like to flip in the bird.

You know, the problem with grandparent's the cocky.

I think they know everything.

They should concentrate on buying presents and pension cheeks.

See, every week somebody's in my face talking about Bernie.

Mac, you can't say this, Bernie.

Mac, you can't say that.

How am I supposed to watch my words, people?

What the hell is this?

E can't eat, But I see that I can't fit e guess, Bernie.

Mac can't say whatever you want.

I don't hear anybody crying America, so I'm letting it go.

How?

Probably Just overreacting.

America.

No blood, no harm.

So I'm letting me go.

How bleeding.

Yeah, You smell down America.

That's burnt rubber.

That could have been my head.

Hair would have been missing.

All right, here, all this money.

But we're laying, laying like that people, you know, traffic jams star like that.

They'll be looking on.

Nobody get out and help.

Sometimes a little fear is a good thing where you get dangerous America is when you let it control you Back in the day America, I'm telling you, I goto weasel that you're the weasel.

Go Pop.

What do they think, baby girl got Zaza or Ebola?

Nothing wrong with that girl.

Her flesh is intact.

It's hard to make friends for your Graham town.

It's hard one.

Last time you made new friends.

I think the last time I made friends was 1978.

His name was Chauncey.

Bernie Mac ain't no snob.

You can't be friends with everybody.

You gotta have the right chemistry.

You know how it is.

That's why you'll be checking your call.

The idea on your phone?

Who?

That Who?

That All that back and forth took me forever.

Make me itch.

Soothe old days.

When people got into argument, we went out to the porch baby girl.

She walked right in the middle of it, put herself in harm's way.

Tried to solve other people's problems like a little Martin Luther King.

Turn the TV off and do something with your kids because the rewards are in miserable.

Hey, I love you.

You can't say not bad.

Used to be bugs, rocks, magic.

Now it's books, rocks, magic and girls.

Oh, sure.

Joint has a little crush is before, but what used to be cute is becoming a situation.

The boys like a raging hormones.

This is what I call the predicament.

E gotta let him e let him going a bit e put him back with him, you know, clever.

Out on my way out.

Should have said nothing.

I'm sorry, boys.

I'm so disc unscrew usted I don't know what to do, Bernie.

Mac.

Father has to punch out.

So, Bernie Mac in the tailor can't get to work 25 minutes.

How am I gonna get a massage while my kids are missing for 25 minutes?

You know something, America?

It just hit me.

I spent all day trying to avoid those kids thinking they stop me from bringing my a game.

Funny thing is.

They gave me my game.

Oh, Lord.

Here it come, Bernie.

Mac being sued.

Negligence.

You can say whatever the hell you want to say about me.

Call me up.

Say you don't like hell even say I ain't funny.

But don't call me the n word negligence.

I got to take action.

Kick his ass like an extra point.

There's blood in the water.

How?

Okay, hold on my Facebook.

Bang.

Oh, wow.

Tard.

Okay, Tang.

You know where there's dancing at a party?

Our surprise party.

And you know who deserve a surprise party?

Me?

I'll even ex surprise.

Surprise.

Uh huh.

Or you think I'm some kind of old man?

You think my best days behind me?

Maybe they are trying to fight.

It only makes you look foolish Like fat Elvis or little Richard.

Who?

I get half of that.

No, gotta slow down.

The truth is, I like being old.

I like my music like my movies.

And I truly like who the heck I am.

Come on, give Uncle Birdie's some birthdays.

Shit.

Uh huh.

I'm still here.

I may be a lot of things, but I ain't there yet.

Even if it kills me.

I'm not gonna be replaced.

No, sir, they ain't no substitute for Bernie Mac.

Request our okay.

Speculation.

Surgery particular.

Right, Buja?

Things are gonna get easier, Booth.

Best birthday present at that jersey And that party in there.

Listen to America people care about.

Yeah, sure.

They tried to play with today, but that was just throw me off the scent.

But the important thing my family didn't forget about me after all Of e gotta go Listen singing my song Hey, nobody better blow out my candles for may stop Women are funny Your wife must have a sense of humor.

She's seeing you naked.

Uh, I don't like you.

Come back.

Do I call you or do I just commit a crime?

Probably committing a crime would get me to you.

This is me and my most invited.

Thank you and good night.