seems to be going to be going through Pon Far. Which is a period every 7 years where Vulcans

go into heat. It seems if they don't find a suitable mate during this

Pon Far! They can go mad or even die.

I'm going to have to start using that excuse on my dates.

Good one Jim!

Thank you Bones

Needless to say Spock is hornier than a three pecker Tribble on Prom Night.

and has requested R&R. Permission granted Spock.

Find a cave for that trouser snake before it's too late.

Ahhhh-firmitive girl, it's clear to me our bodies were made for reproduction.

so let me know begin with the act of sweet seduction

we are subject to extinction if we do not reproduce so sip on this earth potion

known as gin and juice

Did you know or nerves were stimulated by basic touch?

Yes, your hand is on my thigh and I enjoy that very much.

Allow me to apply the Vulcan grip of plessure

You know, they say Vulcans have little to no blood pressure

But my pulse is racing at approximately warp 4, in response to the knowledge

that I most likely will score.

you are clearly getting wild ready and ready for action in that regard you are not unlike

the captain. Just relax for tonight you are not my subordinate.

Mr Scott, beam some fine champagne to our coordinates

with every sip you take, your desire grows stronger. Like Mr. Scott says

I don't think she can TAKE it much longer!!

Together we will copulate so our species

can repopulate. Tonight I got my

phasers set for love

after that exceptional and technical night it is logical that you and I will be

mates for life.

oooh. this talk of forever comes as quite a surprise and they do not allow

girlfriends aboard the Enterprise

Like a Klingon after a meal I'm afraid I must depart.

While your at it reach through my side and rip out my heart.

that was a irrational I'm sorry that I yelled.

Let us forgo the talking and perform the mind meld.

<mind meld fighting>

your feelings are valid and I appreciate that

Oh 9:00 already? I must be getting back.

I have given you all that I can currently offer. So take care of

that life form. Live long and prosper.

He already forgot my name.

Now I must do the beam of shame.

First I'll shower then I'll get revenge.

Spock!

Spock, you've returned! You look calm and relaxed.

Don't keep us in suspense man, did you hit that?

Affirmative Captain, but it ended quite badly.

So often is the case with space relationships sadly. Women are a puzzle. Like the ancient Rubic Cube!

Not entirely dissimilar to the Kobayashi Maru

Yes! An unwinnable test! An impossible course!

That is why 40% of Vulcan marriages end in divorce

Is that a fact?

Affirmative captain.

That's a fat groove. Turn that up, Bones!

Dammit Jim I'm a doctor not a DJ!

Bones is such a dick.

Spock I'm coming for you.

I'll be back in Part 2...