Doctors say (bleep) like well if you smoke marijuana,

醫生說(嗶)像好如果你抽大麻。

it's known to cause you to forget things.

眾所周知，它會導致你忘記的東西。

Maybe some of us got some (bleep) we need to forget.

也許我們有些人有一些（嗶）需要忘記。

(applause)

(掌聲)

I'm actually not a comic,

其實我不是漫畫家。

I was just outside the club chilling.

我當時就在俱樂部外面寒暄。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

They asked me if I wanted to make five dollars,

他們問我要不要賺五塊錢。

and I was like I ain't gotta take my pants off?

我當時想我是不是得把我的褲子脫了？

And he was like you want this five dollars or what?

他說你要不要這五塊錢？

I was in the park earlier today where I live at,

我今天早些時候在我住的公園裡。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I was in the park earlier today

我今天早些時候在公園裡

and I saw a black squirrel

我看到一隻黑松鼠

being chased by two gray squirrels,

被兩隻灰松鼠追趕。

and I got anxious.

我就開始著急了。

And I blurted out run nigga.

我大喊著跑了黑鬼。

That's bad right?

這很不好吧？

Fuck.

我操

Well he got away,

好吧，他逃走了。

and I was like that's how you do it.

我當時想，這是你如何做到這一點。

What's that?

那是什麼？

What don't I like?

我不喜歡什麼？

I'll tell you.

我告訴你

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I don't like walking up behind white women at night.

我不喜歡晚上走在白種女人後面。

Makes me really uncomfortable.

讓我很不舒服。

So I cross the street.

所以我過馬路。

So I smoke marijuana sometimes a lot every day,

所以我每天有時會抽很多大麻。

and I'll tell you.

我就告訴你

(applause)

(掌聲)

I really don't see the downside to marijuana.

我真的看不出大麻有什麼缺點。

Doctors say (bleep) like well if you smoke marijuana,

醫生說(嗶)像好如果你抽大麻。

it's known to cause you to forget things.

眾所周知，它能讓你忘記一些事情。

Maybe some of us got some (bleep) we need to forget.

也許我們有些人有一些（嗶）需要忘記。

Marijuana's also known to increase your appetite.

大麻還能增加你的食慾。

You mean the munchies?

你是說零食嗎？

Ohh.

哦。

Like brothers are smoking joints, getting the munchies,

就像兄弟們都在抽大麻，搞得渾身不自在。

and going out trying to

和出去嘗試

stick up Keebler elf houses and (bleep).

貼上基布勒精靈屋和（嗶）。

See a bunch of brothers in the parks harassing trees.

看到一群兄弟在公園裡騷擾樹木。

Yo I know you in there little elf man.

喲，我知道你在那裡，小精靈人。

Just tell us which tree y'all make the cookies in.

告訴我們你們都用哪棵樹做的餅乾。

(applause)

(掌聲)

Go check them other trees.

去看看其他的樹。

- So I'll just get right to it.

- 所以我就直接說了。

I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy style,

我和女友狗仔式做愛。

and the cat and the dog were watching.

和貓和狗都在看。

and she was like nuh uh baby stop stop,

她很喜歡nuh uh寶貝停止停止。

I'm like why I gotta stop?

我想我為什麼要停下來？

The cat and the dog, they watching.

貓和狗，他們看著。

That's cool, it's like National Geographic for them,

這很酷，這就像他們的國家地理雜誌。

it's all right.

它的所有權利。

I could have sworn I overheard my dog say to my cat

我可以發誓，我聽到我的狗對我的貓說：

pss, look at him.

PSS，看他。

He ain't even doing it right.

他甚至沒有做對。

- I was walking down into the train station

- 我正走到火車站

and there was a white lady in front of me,

而我面前有一個白衣女子。

and she decides to fall.

而她決定墮落。

Yeah.

是啊。

And I see it happening and I'm like, don't.

我看到它的發生，我想，不要。

And she's like I don't know what's happening.

她就像我不知道發生了什麼。

And there's this white lady at the bottom of the steps,

臺階下有個白種人女士

I'm at the top of the steps, I know how the picture look.

我在臺階的頂端，我知道圖片的樣子。

I got a life choice to make,

我得做個人生選擇

so I go back outside.

所以我回到外面。

That joke kills in a black crowd.

這個笑話在黑人群體中很有殺傷力。

I know that's right.

我知道這是正確的。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

I hate the MTA though,

我討厭MTA，雖然。

have you been down in the Labyrinth of ew.

你一直在迷宮中EW。

You ever read those stupid signs they put up?

你看過他們貼的那些愚蠢的標語嗎？

We at the MTA are making improvements

我們MTA正在進行改進

so that your ride will be more enjoyable.

這樣你的騎行才會更愉快。

Really?

真的嗎？

I still smell piss.

我還是聞到了尿味。

Homeless dude taking his dick out.

無家可歸的花花公子把他的雞巴拿出來。

He's coming this way,

他往這邊來了

come on man.

來吧，夥計。

(audience laughing)

（觀眾笑）

New Yorkers will be like yeah he from out of town.

紐約人會覺得是啊，他是從外地來的。

(applause) (upbeat music)

（掌聲） （歡快的音樂）