SUPER BOWL SPECIAL."

WE ARE SO LUCKY RIGHT NOW TO BE JOINED BY THE ONE, THE ONLY MISS

TIFFANY HADDISH

THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW I LOVE TALKING TO YOU, YOU ARE

ONE OF THE GUESTS WHO I ALWAYS HAVE MORE ENERGY AFTER THE SHOW

WHEN YOU'VE BEEN ON.

YOU ARE A POWER SOURCE, YOU ARE NOT JUST A GUEST.

BUT THE THING IS THAT WE ONLY HAVE A FEW MINUTES TOGETHER.

WE DON'T GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

AND WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF NOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

AND SO I HAVE DEVICED AS YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW, BECAUSE

ST A PHENOMENON AT THIS POINT, IF IS SOMETHING CALLED THE

COLBERT QUESTIONERT, THESE ARE THE ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS THAT

ALLOW ME TO KNOW ANY GUEST TO REVEAL THEIR SOUL, NOT ONLY TO

THE NATION BUT TO THEMSELVES.

ARE YOU READY?

ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE COLBERT QUESTIONERRE?

>> LET'S GO.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE TWO SPECIAL SUPER BOWL ADDED

QUESTIONS FOR TONIGHT.

NUMBER ONE, TIFFANY HADDISH, IF SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, LET'S START

WITH A COIN TOSS, DO YOU PICK HEADS OR TAILS?

>> HEADS.

>> Stephen: ANY REASON?

>> CUZ I THINK I GOT A NICE HEAD.

>> Stephen: YOU DO.

OKAY, WHAT IS YOUR GO TO SUPER BOWL SNACK?

WOW.

>> I'M THINKING USUALLY.

VODKA.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

GOOD, GOOD, THAT'S A GREAT SOURCE OF FIBER.

OKAY.

NOW.

>> IT IS A DISINFECTANT.

>> Stephen: LET'S GET TO THE QUESTIONERT ITSELF.

TIFFANY HADDISH, WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH.

>> PASTRAMI.

>> Stephen: THIS IS THE RIGHT ANSWER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

>> I TAKE IT ON WHEAT, I HAVE IT TOASTED AND YOU KNOW I PUT ALL

KIND OF STUFF ON MY SANDWICH, BUT IF HAS TO BE HOT.

>> Stephen: HOT PASTRAMI.

WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT YOU OWN THAT YOU REALLY SHOULD THROW

OUT?

>> I GOT A LOT OF UNDERWEARS I SHOULD PROBABLY THROW OUT.

BUT I LOVE THEM.

THEY'RE MY COMFORT DRAWERS.

>> Stephen: AND YOU SHOULD THROW THEM OUT BECAUSE THEY ARE

TOO COMFORTABLE?

>> WELL, BECAUSE THEY GOT HOLES IN THEM, THERE'S SOME-- ELASTIC

SITUATIONS.

>> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON.

>> I'M A GIRL, BUT MY UNDERWEAR LOOK LIKE MEN'S UNDERWEAR, I

WOULD SAY.

>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE SCARIEST ANIMAL?

>> ALLIGATOR, CROCODILE.

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN NEAR ONE IN PERSON?

>> UH-HUH, UH-HUH.

I WISH I HAD A GUN JUST IN CASE THEY TRY TO RUN UP ON ME.

>> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES.

>> ORANGES CUZ THEY GOT A LOT OF VITAMIN C AND FIEBER IN THEM.

>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

I ALWAYS GO WITH APPLE BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON IT.

>> YEAH, BUT ORANGES YOU CAN PUT VODKA WITH.

>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER.

>> IT MAKES AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE ALKALINE.

>> Stephen: TIFFANY, HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR

AUTOGRAPH?

>> YES.

>> Stephen: WHO?

>> HALLE BERRY,.

>> Stephen: DID YOU GET IT, DID SHE SAY YES?

>> NO.

BUT MY GRANDMA GOT IT FOR ME, MY GRANDMA WORKED AT-- PRIME RIB

RESTAURANT IN BEVERLY HILLS AND SHE GOT IT FOR ME.

>> Stephen: MY MOTHER GOT HALLE BERRY'S AUTOGRAPH FOR ME.

>> SHE ONLY GIVES HER AUTOGRAPH TO OLDER WOMEN, SEE?

>> Stephen: TRUE STORY.

WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE?

>> I THINK THAT YOUR BODY DISINTEGRATES AND GOES AWAY AND

I THINK YOUR SOUL GOES AND HAS A MEETING WITH THE-- I THINK YOUR

SOUL GOES TO HAVE A MEETING DECIDE IF YOU SHOULD COME BACK

OR NOT, THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO THINK HAPPENS.

>> Stephen: OH WOW.

>> AND THEN EVERYBODY FIGHTS OVER YOUR BELONGINGS.

>> Stephen: THEY'RE FIGHTING OVER ALL THAT UNDERWEAR YOU

DIDN'T THROW OUT.

THIS LOOKS COMFORTABLE.

OKAY, EXERCISE, WORTH IT?

>> YES, DEFINITELY WORTH IT.

>> Stephen: DEFINITELY, CUZ LOOK AT YOU DEFINITELY WORTH IT.

>> YEP.

>> Stephen: OKAY.

YOU GET ONE SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT

IS IT?

>> SKIN A MARINKY DING, SKINA MA RINKY DOO, I LOVE YOU, SKINA MA

RINKA DINGY DING.

>> I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU IN THE MORNING.

♪ AND IN THE AFTERNOON.

♪ I LOVE YOU IN THE EVENING.

♪ UNDERNEATH THE MOON OH SKINA MA R RINKA DINGY DINKY DING, I

LOVE YOU.

THAT IS FROM THE ELEPHANT SHOW THATI S MY FAVORITE SHOW.

>> Stephen: THAT IS DELIGHTFUL, FOR THE REST OF YOUR

LIFE.

>> YES.

>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.

>> SUCCESSFUL, JOYOUS, CHALLENGING, GRATIFYING AND

ABUNDANT.

>> Stephen: SEASON 2 OF TIFFANY HADDISH PRESENTS THEY

READY IS ON NETFLIX NOW, TIFFANY HADDISH, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY

KNOWN, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

>> I LOVE YOU.

>> Stephen: HAPPY SUPER BOWL.

>> HAPPY SUPER BOWL.

>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WAY PERFORMANCE FROM

METALLICA.