SHOW.

I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT AND I'M SO EXCITED TO BE HERE

WE'RE COMING TO YOU ON A RARE SUNDAY NIGHT LATE SHOW AFTER

WHAT MANY HAVE CALLED THE MOST SUPER OF ALL BOWLS, THE SUPER

BOWL.

NOW, THERE YOU GO, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED, THIS LITTLE GUY IN OUR

OPENING CREDITS, THAT IS OUR EXCLUSIVE DANCING FOOTBALL

ROBOT, BLEEP-BLORP.

THAT'S ENOUGH, MY METALLIC FRIEND.

HIT THE WORK BENCH.

THANKS FOR STOPPING BY.

ANYWAY, IF YOU ARE A FOOTBALL FAN, AND FOR THE NEXT HOUR, YOU

BET I AM, YOU PROBABLY KNOW THAT ANOTHER NETWORK OUT THERE HAS A

SIMILAR DANCING ROBOT MASCOT.

DOESN'T MATTER WHO HAD ONE FIRST ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT THEY

HAVE VERY GOOD LAUERS.

SO WE HAD TO MAKE OUR OWN OWN ROBOT ON A BUDGET WITH SOME

CARDBOARD BOXES AND DRYER TUBING.

AND TONIGHT BLEEP-BLORP WILL APPEAR ANY TIME I SAY THE WORDS

SUPER BOWL.

HEY, THERE HE GOES.

THAT HE-- JIMMY, THAT'S A LITTLE LOUD, A LITTLE INTENSE.

CAN WE TAKE THE ENERGY DOWN JUST A LITTLE BIT, JUST A NOTCH?

OKAY, THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE TOO MELLOW, CAN YOU JUST SPLIT THE

DIFF.

OKAY, THAT'S-- THANKS, THANKS BLEEP-BLORP, JIMMY, PLEASE.

THANKS.

LIKE EVERYTHING DURING THE PANDEMIC, THE GAME WAS A LOT

DIFFERENT THIS YEAR.

THERE WERE CARDBOARD CUT OUTS IN THE STANDS, PLAYERS HAD TO

QUARANTINE AND INSTEAD OF GATORADE THE WINNING COACH WAS

DOUSED WITH HAND SANITIZER.

THE PANDEMIC'S ALSO BEEN HARD ON TONIGHT'S HOST CITY TAMPA,

ESPECIALLY ON ONE OF ITS BIGGEST INDUSTRIES, STRIP CLUBS TAM

HAS-- TAMPA HAS BEEN CALLED THE JIGGLE JOINT CAPITAL OF THE

COUNTRY.

WOW

THAT'S QUITE A NAME, WHAT THE HELL, NEW YORK, WE'RE THE BIG

APPLE WHEN WE COULD HAVE BEEN THE BIG JIGGLY.

THANK AS LOT, DE BLASIO.

NOW USUALLY THE STRIPIN INDUSTRY RAKES IN A TON OF DOUGH DURING

THE SUPER BOWL.

PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT TWERK.

I DON'T-- I DON'T HAVE ANY SINGER ELS.

-- SINGLES.

GO AWAY.

AS I WAS SAYING, THE BIG GAME IS USUALLY A BOOM TIME FOR THE BOOM

BOOM ROOMS BUT DUE TO THE PANDEMIC, TAMPA'S STRIP CLUBS

HAD TO TAKE SPECIAL PRECAUTIONS LIKE ENFORCING STRICT MASK

RULES, HIRING EXTRA SECURITY, AND IN AN ATTEMPT TO CREATE MORE

SPACE FOR PATRONS, ERECTING A TENT IN THE PARKING LOT.

EVIDENTLY, THE PARKING LOT IS WHAT PEOPLE IN TAMPA CALL THEIR

PANTS.

THE PRECAUTIONS WEREN'T JUST LIMITED TO CUSTOMERS, THROUGHOUT

THE WEEKEND, DANCERS HAD THEIR TEMPERATURES CHECKED REGULARLY

OKAY, IT IS A GOOD IDEA BUT IT MIGHT KILL THE MOOD.

PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAGE, SHY CHEYENNE SHE IS HOT, SERIOUSLY

SHE HAS A RAGEK TEMPERATURE, LET'S GET HER OFF THE STAGE

PLEASE, ANYWAY, BACK TO THE SUPER BOWL, I'M SORRY, I DIDN'T

MEAN TO SAY THE TRIGGER FACE THAT TIME.

JIMMY, CAN WE JUST KILL IT.

>> KILL MODE INITIATED.

>> Stephen: BLEERP BLORP!

NO, NO KILLING, GO AWAY.

ANYWAY, ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE BIG FOOTBALL GAME WE

WATCHED TONIGHT IS THE PLAYER INTRODUCTIONS WHEN ONE BY ONE WE

GET TO MEET THE >> PATRICK MAHOMES II, TEXAS

TECH UNIVERSITY.

DAMIEN WILLIAMS, MAYER MASON HIGH SCHOOL.

TYREEK HILL, PEARSON, GEORGIA.

SAMMY WATKINS, CLEMSON.

MECOLE HARDMAN, UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA.

TRAVIS KELCE, CLEVELAND HEIGHTS, OHIO.

>> Stephen: YOU SEE?

GREAT, YOU LEARN SO MUCH, LIKE THEIR NAME, THEIR COLLEGE, AND

THE MAXIMUM POSSIBLE CIRCUMFERANCE OF A HUMAN NECK.

BUT I REALLY FEEL LIKE THESE INTROS LACK THE PIZAZZ THAT THE

PLAYERS IN THE BIG GAME DESERVE.

AND I THOUGHT WHAT IF FAMOUS DIRECTORS SHOT THESE INSTEAD.

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

WELL, IF YOU CAN, STOP IT.

THIS IS TV.

WE DO THE IMAGINING FOR YOU.

JIM?

>> "A LATE SHOW" PRESENTS: "GREAT DIRECTORS

DIRECT THE PLAYER INTROS."

>> EVERYBODY WAS DOING PLAYER INTRODUCTIONS.

THERE WAS VICTOR CRUZ.

>> HOW YA DOIN', UMASS.

>> MARKUS KUHN.

WE CALLED HIM "THE STEAMROLLER," ON ACCOUNT OF HE'S FROM

MANNHEIM.

>> GUTEN TAG.

>> JONNY CASILLAS AND HIS GUYS.

>> UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN.

>> LORENZO CARTER, THE KID.

>> UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA.

>> AND THERE WAS FOLORUNSU FATUKASI, ALSO THE KID, ON

ACCOUNTS THAT THEY WAS BOTH THE KIDS.

>> UCONN.

>> AND BENNY TWO-TIMES, WHO GOT THAT NICKNAME 'CAUSE HE SAID

EVERYTHING TWICE LIKE.

>> NOTRE DAME, NOTRE DAME.

>> OBSERVE BENNETT JACKSON.

THE POSITION HE PLAYS IS SAFETY, BUT NOTHING CAN BE CONSIDERED

SAFE IN A VAST, INDIFFERENT UNIVERSE WHERE THE STARS BLINDLY

RUN.

TO CONSIDER ONESELF SAFETY IS TO LAUGH IN THE FACE OF DESTINY.

UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME.

>> LET ME TAKE A WILD GUESS, HERE.

YOU'RE BRETT, RIGHT?

>> NO, ACTUALLY.

I'M FOLORUNSO FATAKASI.

UCONN.

>> CHECK OUT THE BIG BRAIN ON BRETT!

>> DID YOU MEAN BENNET JACKSON, UNIVERSITY OF NOTRE DAME?

>> I DON'T REMEMBER ASKING YOU A ( BLEEP ) THING.

>> OKAY.

>> YOU WERE SAYING?

>> AS I WAS SAYING, I'M FOLO-- UCONN.

>> I'M JONATHAN CASILLAS!

UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN!

UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN!

♪ ♪ ♪ >> ALL THE FOOTBALLERS GATHERED

IN PREPARATION OF FOR THE FIRST OF WHAT WAS SURE TO BE MANY

QUARTERS.

THERE WAS VICTOR CRUZ, THE ENIGMATIC WIDE RECEIVER.

LORENZO CARTER, THE ICONOCLASTIC LINEBACKER.

CARTER LOVED NOTHING MORE THAN CHASING A QUARTERBACK.

HE HAS BEEN ONE OF THE GIANTS' GO TO PASS RUSHERS.

AND NEXT SEASON, HE'S HOPING TO RUSH MORE.

MARKUS KUHN, THE ECCENTRIC DEFENSIVE TACKLE.

>> I AM NOT "ECCENTRIC."

>> THE "DEFENSIVE" DEFENSIVE TACKLE.

♪ ♪ ♪ >> OH, HOWDY BIG FELLA!

MARKUS KHUN, N.C. STATE!

>> Stephen: WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

MY GUESTS ARE ROBERT DOWNEY JR. AND TIFFANY HADDISH.

BUT WHEN WE RETURN, "A LATE SHOW" COMES TO THE RESCUE OF ONE

SMALL BUSINESS A SUPER BUMP, STICK AROUND, A LOT MORE OF THE

LATE SHOW'S SUPER BOWL SPECIAL.

JIMMY, JIMMY, PLEASE.

PLEASE, I'M A MARRIED MAN.

I DON'T NEED TO SEE THAT.