SOMETHING THAT'S ON THE MINDS OF EVERYONE WATCHING RIGHT NOW.

TODAY IS, OF COURSE, HARRY STYLES' BIRTHDAY.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) YEP.

REGGIE, HOW ARE YOU CELEBRATING THE MOMENTOUS OCCASION?

REGGIE, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO L CELEBRATE THE MOMENTOUS

OCCASION?

>> Reggie: I'M GOING TO WEAR AS MANY BLOUSES AS POSSIBLE AND

PERHAPS PEARL EARRINGS AND OPANT THAT LOOKS LIKE A HYBRID BETWEEN

A THIRD AND PANTS -- SORRY, SKIRT AND PANTS.

>> James: IS THIS BECAUSE IT'S HARRY'S BIRTH DAZE, YOU

HAVE LET YOUR HAIR DOWN?

>> Reggie: IF HARRY IS GOING TO HAVE A BIRTHDAY, I SHOULD LET

OUR HAIR DOWN.

>> James: WE'RE LETTING OUR HAIR DOWN.

I LOVE IT, I LOVE THIS LOOK THAT YOU'VE GONE FOR TONIGHT, STEVE,

NEVER STEEFER!

I LIKE THIS LOOK YOU'VE GONE FOR!

IT'S SORT OF PART FARMER, PART, I DON'T KNOW, MONSON AND SONS?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HARRY, WE THE LATE LATE SHOW YOU, YOU KNOW

AWAY, WE ADORE YOU.

YOU KNOW YOU KNOW.

IT'S A FINE LINE.

I'M TRYING TO THINK OF MORE.

I CAN'T I'M FALLING.

WHAT HO!

(APPLAUSE) >> Reggie: YES, LIGHTNING.

>> James: IF I THINK OF NYMPH, MEET ME IN THE HALLWAY,

IS IT THAT ONE?

MEET ME IN THE CORRIDOR, MEET ME IN THE HALLWAY.

THAT'S MY FAVORITE HARRY SONG.

MEET ME IN THE HALLWAY.

I KEEP GOING, HE'S NEVER THERE!

(LAUGHTER) >> Reggie: THIS SHOW IS A

SIGN OF THE TIMES.

>> James: YES!

>> MAN, THIS IS LIKE GOLDEN MONOLOG!

JAYAPAL COME ON!

>> LIKE A LOT OF WATER MENTAL WA SUGAR!

>> SO MUCH WHEN IT GOES TOO FAR.

WHAT IS IT CALLED?

>> James: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET INTO THE HEADLINES.

OF COURSE, WE'RE JUST A WEEK AWAY FROM DONALD TRUMP'S SECOND

IMPEACHMENT TRIAL.

HEY, NOT TALKING ABOUT TRUMP WAS FUN WHILE IT LASTED.

WASN'T IT?

WELL, OVER THE WEEKEND, FIVE OF TRUMP'S IMPEACHMENT LAWYERS

ABRUPTLY QUIT.

TRUMP SUDDENLY FOUND HIMSELF WITHOUT ANY LEGAL

REPRESENTATION, WHICH IS STILL A HUGE IMPROVEMENT OVER BEING

REPRESENTED BY RUDY GIULIANI.

BUT DON'T WORRY.

TRUMP QUICKLY ADDED TWO MORE LAWYERS.

BY THE TIME YOU'RE WATCHING THIS THEY'VE ALREADY QUIT.

DOES EVERYBODY REMEMBER SHAMAN, SHAMAN?

WE ARE COMPLETELY AMBIDEXTROUS ON THE SHAMAN SHAMAN?

THIS GUY WEARING THE HORNS SAYS HE FEELS, QUOTE CAN

WELL, THIS SHAMAN JUST ANNOUNCED THAT BECAUSE HE FEELS “BETRAYED

BY THE PRESIDENT,” HE IS WILLING TO TESTIFY AGAINST TRUMP AT THE

IMPEACHMENT TRIAL.

KNEW I'D GET A BIG REACTION.

( LAUGHTER ) I ALL RI

I KNEW TRUMP'S BASE OF SUPPORT WAS DWINDLING, BUT I NEVER

THOUGHT HE'D LOSE THE “SHIRTLESS SHAMANS.”

( LAUGHTER ) HE SAYS HE FEELS BETRAYED BY THE

PRESIDENT.

AND LOOK DPM THIS GUY FEELS BETRAYED BY ANYBODY, IT SHOULD

BE HIS RATTOO ARTIST.

>> Reggie: OH IT'S TERRIBLE.

>> James: WHAT IS THAT TATTOO, THERE, WHAT'S THAT MEANT

TO BE?

>> I THOUGHT IT WAS A SWORD TUCKED INTO HIS WAISTBAND.

>> James: PULL IT UP AGAIN.

FOR THAT TO WORK HE'S GOT TO PULL HIS TROUSERS UP.

IT'S A PANT PROBLEM THERE.

REY IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A SWORD, IT LOOKS LIKE ITS HILT.

IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY THERE IS NO SWORD THAT GOES THROUGH THE

LINE.

>> James: HE THINKS THAT I'M ALWAYS WEARING PANELS.

I RECKON HE'S GOT THE TOP OF A SWORD AND A GAP AND THE BOTTOM

OF A SWORD THERE.

>> Reggie: OH, GOT YOU, YEP, YEP.

>> James: I'LL ALWAYS BE WEARING SHORTS OR TROUSERS,

THERE'S NO POINT DOING THE WHOLE SWORD.

>> COVERS HIMSELF.

>> James: I'LL HAVE THE TIP OF A SWORD AND THE HANDLE OF A

SWORD AND -- >> Reggie: SAVES MONEY.

>> James: YES, AGONY.

REY AGONY.

>> James: SEEMS LIKE A COOL GUY THOUGH.

(LAUGHTER) >> Reggie: YEP, YEP.

>> James: BUT IMPEACHMENT ISN'T THE

BUT IMPEACHMENT ISN'T THE ONLY LEGAL PROCEEDING TRUMP HAS TO

WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW.

THE SCOTTISH PARLIAMENT IS DEBATING WHETHER OR NOT TO OPEN

AN INVESTIGATION INTO HOW TRUMP FINANCED HIS SCOTTISH GOLF

RESORTS, AND WHERE THE MONEY CAME FROM.

AND, OF COURSE, IF TRUMP ENDS UP GETTING PROSECUTED, THE SCOTTISH

PARLIAMENT WILL FORMALLY ASK HIM TO--

(SCOTTISH ACCENT)“ GET THE ( BLEEP ) OUT OF HERE

YOU BIG ORANGE BASSA!” GET YE NOW!

LUCKILY, TRUMP'S ALREADY GOT HIS SCOTTISH LAWYER LINED UP.

HERE HE IS HERE.

( LAUGHTER ) >> Reggie: NICE.

NICE.

>> GREAT GRAPHICS, MATE.

GREAT GRAPHICS!

>> James: IT'S SHREK!

YOU REMEMBER SHREK.

YOU REMEMBER WHEN SHREK CAME OUT 12 YEARS AGO?

(LAUGHTER) >> James: THAT'S WHAT WE'VE

GONE WITH.

BUT HE'S IN A SUIT, SEE?

BECAUSE NORMALLY, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE FILM, HE DOESN'T ALWAYS

WEAR A SUIT.

WE'VE ADDED TO IT.

WHAT WE'VE DONE, WE'VE PUT SHREK IN A SUIT AND HE'S IN OFFICE

ENVIRONMENT AND HE NORMALLY LIVES IN SOMEWHAT LIKE A SWAMP

DOESN'T HE?

>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

NO, HE'S IN A COURT ENVIRONMENT.

>> James: HE HAS TO BECAUSE HE'S REPRESENTING TRUMP.

>> AN PLATED, HERE NOW.

>> James: AS YOU KNOW, TRUMP HAS ALREADY DRAINED THE SWAMP.

DIDN'T DESERVE THAT!

AND DID YOU SEE THIS?

AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?

IT WAS JUST ANNOUNCED THAT QUEEN ELIZABETH WILL BE HOSTING

PRESIDENT BIDEN AT BUCKINGHAM PALACE LATER THIS YEAR.

THE QUEEN WILL BE WELCOMING BIDEN FOR A “SOFT POWER”

RECEPTION.“ SOFT POWER.”

THAT WAS MY NICKNAME IN HIGH SCHOOL.

( LAUGHTER ) IN-- IN ADDITION TO A RECEPTION,

BIDEN AND THE QUEEN WILL MEET ONE ON ONE.

AND I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT MEETING WILL START WITH BIDEN

POINTING TO HER CROWN AND GOIN“" THAT'S A WICKED HAT YOU GOT

THERE, SISTER.” ( LAUGHTER )

AND THAT SOUNDED NOTHING LIKE BIDEN.

THAT'S THE WORST -- THAT'S THE WORST IMPRESSION I THINK

ANYONE'S EVER SEEN!

REY IT WAS WORSE.

>> James: MARK YOU CAN DO A WICKED -- A BIDEN?

>> THAT'S A WICKED HAT YOU GOT THERE SISTER.

>> James: FROM NOW ON MARK YOU'LL BE THE VOICE OF JOE BIDEN

ON THIS SHOW!

DONE.

THIS COULD GET THIS COULD GET CONTENTIOUS,

BECAUSE UNLIKE BIDEN, EVERYONE KNOWS THE QUEEN LOVES A BIT OF

MALARKEY.

( LAUGHTER ) SHE DOES.

OR AS SHE SAYS-- (HIGH PITCHED)

"ONE LOVES MALARKEY."

( APPLAUSE ) ON THE BRITISH ISLES, I THINK

I'M FINE.

BUT I GET INTO A BIT OF PROBLEM -- MY PHONE IS RINGING.

>> ANSWER IT.

>> James: REDONDO BEACH.

>> HELLO?

>> CALLED THIS PHONE.

LAW ENFORCEMENT UNIT OF FEDERAL INVESTIGATION SYSTEM,ING LEGAL

CASE BEING FILED UNDER YOUR NAME AND THERE IS AN ARREST WARRANT

BEING ISSUED FOR THE SAME.

IN ORDER TO LAW ENFORCEMENT UNIT OF FEDERAL ABOUT ENFORCEMENT

SYSTEM.

PLEASE HOLD THE LINE.

>> James: GUYS, I'VE GOT TO GO!

I'VE GOT TO GO!

YOU HAVEN'T HEARD WHAT'S HAPPENED, THERE IS FRAUDULENT

ACTIVITY ON MY BANK, I HAVE TO GO.

(BLEEP).

>> James: SORRY ABOUT THAT, IT'S OFF NOW.

ABOUT THAT'S THE THING, I'VE WANTED TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS.

A FILM FESTIVAL IN SWEDEN IS TAKING A RATHER UNUSUAL APPROACH

DUE TO THE PANDEMIC.

THIS YEAR, THEY'VE SELECTED ONE PARTICIPANT WHO WILL BE SENT TO

A REMOTE ISLAND TO SPEND A WEEK BY HERSELF, WATCHING FILM AFTER

FILM.

>> Reggie: WOW.

>> James: WHY DO THEY HAVE TO SEND HER TO AN ISLAND?

IT SEEMS EXTREME.

JUST SEND HER THE DVDS.

FILM IS UNNECESSARY.

DO YOU THINK THEY HAVE SWEDISH FISH AT THE MOVIE THEATER IN

SWEDEN?

IF THEY DO, WHAT ABOUT NOT CALLING THEM SWEDISH, JUST FISH?

>> THEY HAVE POLDER GREASE.

>> James: THE NEXT TIME >> James: A FILM FESTIVAL FOR

ONE.

SO THE NEXT TIME YOU WATCH A MOVIE TRAILER, KEEP YOUR EYE OUT

FOR THIS SYMBOL.“ OFFICIAL SELECTION, JANICE

LIKED THIS ONE.” ( LAUGHTER )

STORY, A LAWYER IN PERU HAS GONE VIRAL AFTER HE WAS CAUGHT HAVING

SEX ON CAMERA DURING A VIRTUAL COURT HEARING OVER ZOO.

NOW WE'VE HAD TO BLUR IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW THEY'RE HAVING SEX.

BUT THE LAWYERS THERE IN THE LOWER RIGHT.

ACTUALLY A VIRTUAL COURT HEARING.

I MEAN, LOOK, I THINK IT'S A GIVEN HAD A WE ALL ENJOY HAVING

SEX.

BUT SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO GO, BABE, I'M IN COURT RIGHT NOW, I

CAN'T -- I CAN'T -- SORRY, I'M GOING TO MUTE ONE MINUTE.

I CAN'T, I'M IN COURT!

YEAH, I'M BACK, GUYS.

WHAT -- ALL RIGHT.

WE'RE GOING.

THE JUDGE SAID, ALL THE JUDGE SAID “ALL RISE” AND

THE LAWYER WAS LIKE, “WAY AHEAD OF YOU, MAN.”

( LAUGHTER ) AND I DON'T WANT TO GET TOO

GRAPHIC, BUT THE WOMAN HE WAS WITH SAID HE REALLY BELONGS IN

SMALL CLAIMS COURT.

( LAUGHTER ) ( RIMSHOT )

HE WAS HAVING SEX DURING A VIRTUAL COURT HEARING.

IN THE LAWYER'S DEFENSE, HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HIT IT AND

ACQUIT IT.

( RIMSHOT ) THAT'S IT, INDEPENDENT OF THE

MONO.

-- END OF THE MONO.