GENTLEMEN, HE'S THE HOST OF "LAST WEEK TONIGHT" ON HBO AND

先生們，他是HBO的 "今晚最後一星期 "的主持人，而且...

A DELIGHTFUL HUMAN BEING.

一個可愛的人類。

PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW," MR. JOHN OLIVER!

歡迎回到 "晚間秀"，約翰・奧利弗先生！約翰-奧利弗！

JOHN OLIVER, GOOD TO SEE YOU.

約翰・奧利弗，很高興見到你。

THANK YOU FOR JOINING US FROM YOUR INTEL STERILE ROOM.

謝謝你從你的英特爾標準室加入我們。

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE PROCESSING MICROCHIPS IN THERE.

你看起來像是在處理微芯片。

>> THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT.

>> 對了，對了。

I'M BRINGING STRONG MIC TV FROM THE FIRST "CHARLIE AND THE

我帶來了 "查理和他們 "第一部的強效麥克風電視。

CHOCOLATE FACTORY" FILM ENERGY HERE.

巧克力工廠 "電影能源這裡。

>> Stephen: THAT IS VERY GOOD.

>> 斯蒂芬：這是非常好的。

THIS IS YOUR 13th APPEARANCE.

這是你的第13次露面。

CONGRATULATIONS.

祝賀你。

>> WOW.

>> WOW。

>> Stephen: LUCKY 13.

>> Stephen: LUCKY 13.

ONLY BERNIE SANDERS HAS APPEARED ON THE SHOW MORE THAN YOU.

只有BERNIE SANDERS在節目中出現的次數比你多。

>> THAT SEEMS ABOUT RIGHT.

>> 這似乎是正確的。

>> Stephen: YOU'RE TIED WITH JOHN DICKERSON.

>> 你和約翰-狄克遜有關係。

SO-- I DON'T KNOW-- >> WAIT, HOW IS JOHN DICKERSON

所以... ... 我不知道... ... 等等，約翰-狄克遜是怎麼了？

IN THE GROUP WITH THE THREE OF US?

和我們三個人在一組？

I'LL TAKE SANDERS, SURE.

我將採取桑德斯，肯定。

IT'S AN HONEST-- HOW IS JOHN DICKERSON APPEARING SO MUCH ON

這是一個誠實的... ... 約翰-迪克遜是如何出現這麼多的在

YOUR SHOW, OTHER THAN THAT BEING-- RIGHT, IS THAT SINNER

你的節目，除了那個人... ... 對，就是那個罪人。

GEE?

GEE？

>> Stephen: IT'S CALLED CROSS-PLATFORM SYNERGY?

>> Stephen: 這就是所謂的跨平臺合作？

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

你明白了嗎？

>> THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT.

>> 這就是一切。

I LOVE IT?

我愛它？

>> CBS-PARAMOUNT.

>> CBS-PARAMOUNT。

PARAMOUNT-PLUS.DID YOU WATCH THE BOWL?

PARAMOUNT-PLUS.Did you watchch the bowl？

>> I DID, I DID WATCH IT, YEAH.

>> 我看了，我看了，是的。

I WATCHED IT, YEAH.

我看了，是的。

>> Stephen: AND DID YOU HAVE ANY REACTION?

>> 史蒂芬：那你有什麼反應嗎？

>> I MEAN, YOU KNOW, IT WAS A BOLD TING TO DO IT DURING A

>> 我的意思是，你知道，這是一個大膽的事情，做一個期間的一個

PANDEMIC, DEFINITELY.

PANDEMIC，定義。

I HAD A FRIEND OF MINE TEXT ME FROM ENGLAND JUST SAYING, "I

我有一個朋友從英國給我發簡訊說："我...

DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE GOING TO BE PEOPLE THERE WATCHING IT IN

我不知道會有人在那裡觀看它的。

THE STAND.

攤位：

BUT THAT'S HAPPENING.

但那是正在發生的。

>> Stephen: 25,000 PEOPLE.

>> Stephen: 25,000人。

>> IT'S HAPPENING IN TAMPA IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.

>> 坦帕市正在發生的事情，從字面上看都是如此。

THE BIG TAKEAWAY FROM ME AND I WAS NOT AWARE OF THIS GOING IN--

我最大的收穫，我沒有意識到這一點去英寸 -

I'M THE SAME AGE AS TOM BRADY.

我和TOM BRADY一樣大。

>> Stephen: REALLY?

>> Stephen:真的嗎？

YOU'RE 43?

你是43歲？

>> IT DOES NOT.

>> 它沒有。

>> -- >> Stephen: MY GOODNESS.

-- >> -- >> 史蒂芬：我的天啊。

I THOUGHT THE IRISH AGED QUICKLY.

我還以為愛爾蘭人老得快呢。

COLLAGEN.

COLLAGEN：

COLLAGEN SUPPLEMENTS AND UP, ALWAYS UP, JOHN, UP.

膠原蛋白補充劑和起來，總是起來，約翰，起來。

( LAUGHTER ).

（笑）：

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE FALL INTO TWO CAMPS RIGHT?

>> 很多人都屬於兩個陣營吧？

THERE IS ONE GROUP OF PEOPLE YOU TELL SOMEBODY AND THEY GO, "WOW,

有一群人，你告訴別人，他們會說，"哇。

YOU LOOK GREAT."

你看起來棒極了。"

AND ANOTHER GROUP YOU TELL AND THEY GO, "OH, ( BLEEP )."

而另一組你告訴他們，他們說，"哦，（嗶）"。

I THINK I'M IN CAMP TWO.

我想我在二號營地了

>> Stephen: A LITTLE BIT.

>> 史蒂芬：一點點。

SO YOU SEE HIM OUT THERE.

所以你看到他在那裡。

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: DOES HE INSPIRE YOU TO GO VEGAN OR ONLY DRINK

>> 斯蒂芬: 他是鼓勵你去吃素還是隻喝飲料？

ALPINE WATER?

ALPINE WATER?

>> DRINK AN AMOUNT OF WATER THAT IS TECHNICALLY DROWNING EVERY

>> 飲用一定量的水，技術上每天都在下降。

DAY?

天？

NOT REALLY.

不是真的。

HONESTLY WHAT, HIT ME EVEN HARDER, AND I KNEW THIS-- I

老實說，什麼，打我更難， 我知道這一點 - - 我

FOUND OUT LAST YEAR-- I AM THE EXACT SAME AGE TO THE DAY AS

JOHN CEENA.

JOHN CEENA.

>> Stephen: WOW.

>> 史蒂芬：WOW。

>> WE WERE BORN ON THE EXACT SAME DAY, EXACT SAME YEAR, TWO

>> 我們出生在同樣的日子，同樣的年份，兩

BABIES FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES WHO VERY MUCH BIOLOGICALLY CHOSE

來自不同國家的嬰兒，他們在生物學上選擇的非常多。

TO GO IN TWO DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS.

走在兩個不同的方向。

>> Stephen: JOHN CEENA LOOKS LIKE TOM BRADY ATE JOHN OLIVER.

>> Stephen: JOHN CEENA看起來像TOM BRADY吃了JOHN OLIVER。

>> IT'S AMAZING.

>> 它是驚人的。

I THINK OF JOHN CEENA EVERY BIRTHDAY NOW, SPECIFICALLY

我現在每逢生日都會想起約翰-塞納，特別是他的生日。

THINKING, I'M NOT JUST ONE STEP CLOSER TO DEATH.

思考，我不只是一步接近死亡。

I'M ABOUT 20 STEPS CLOSER TO DEATH THAN HE IS.

我比他更接近死亡20步。

>> Stephen: LET'S-- LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR LOVE, AND THAT IS

>> 讓我們... 讓我們來談談你的愛，那是什麼？

WHAT EVERYONE IN THE WORLD CALLS FOOTBALL.

世界上所有的人都稱之為足球。

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: FOOTBALL.

>> Stephen:足球。

>> YES.

>> 是。

>> Stephen: AND WHAT WE CALL SOCCER.

>> Stephen: 還有我們所說的足球。

BEFORE WE GET INTO ACTUALLY THE WHYS AND THE WHEREVERS OF THE

在我們進入實際的原因和地點之前。

GAME, AND YOUR FIRST LOVE, LIVERED POOL, LET'S TALK SNACKS.

遊戲，和你的初戀，LIVERED POOL，讓我們來談談小吃。

WHO HAS BETTER GAME SNACKS, YOUR HOME COUNTRY, GREAT BRITAIN, OR

誰的遊戲零食更好，你的祖國，英國，還是。

THE UNITED STATES?

美國？

LIKE WHAT-- WHAT GETS LAID OUT ON THE SPREAD AT HOME WHEN

像什麼... ... 什麼會被擺在家裡的傳播，當。

YOU'RE WATCHING A FOOTBALL-- WHATEVER YOU CALL FOOTBALL?

你在看一場足球 -- 你管它叫什麼足球？

>> WHEN WE'RE WATCHING OUR FOOTBALL, THE SPORT IS KIND OF

>> 當我們看我們的足球時，這項運動是一種

THE MAIN EVENT THERE, SO SNACKS AREN'T QUITE AS BIG A PART OF

主要的活動在那裡，所以小吃並沒有那麼大的一部分。

IT.

IT：

SNACKS AND HALFTIME SHOWS AREN'T QUITE AS BIG A PART OF IT AS YOU

小吃和半場秀並沒有你想象的那麼重要。

HAVE.

有：

THERE'S NOT A KIND OF LOADED-- NO, YOU BASICALLY WATCH, AND IT

這不是一種加載 - 不，你基本上看，它

GETS YOUR FULL UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.

引起你的全神貫注。

>> Stephen: SO YOU NEVER GET TO SEE MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY IN

>> 史蒂芬: 所以你永遠不會看到馬特西-麥卡努奇在。

2D.?

2D.?

>> WE DON'T.

>> 我們沒有。

IF WE EVER GET TO EAT THERE'S A SAD HALF-PIE WE GET TO EAT.

如果我們能吃到的話，我們就能吃到一個悲傷的半餡餅。

>> Stephen: SOMETHING CALLED A PUDDING BUT IT'S HARD?

>> 史蒂芬：所謂的PUDDING，但它是困難的？

>> IT'S HEARTBREAKING.

>> 這是令人心碎的。

THAT'S THE KIND OF FOOD YOU HAVE.

這就是你的食物種類。

>> Stephen: AND YOU'RE THINKING-- THEY'RE CALLING IT A

>> 而你認為...

MEAT PIE, BUT YOU'RE NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT MEAT THAT IS.

肉派，但你並不清楚那是什麼肉。

>> IT FEELS LIKE YOU ONLY NEED TWO PROPERTIES TO JUSTIFY

>> 感覺你只需要兩個財產就能證明你是對的。

CALLING YOURSELF A MEAT PIE, AND I DON'T SEE EITHER OF THEM ON

你自稱是肉派，我卻沒有看到它們中的任何一個。

DISPLAY HERE.

在這裡顯示。

>> Stephen: IT'S MOSTLY FILTRATION ORGAN.

>> 史蒂芬：這是一個過濾組織。

WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, EVERYBODY, BUT WHEN WE COME

我們必須快速休息一下，每個人，但當我們來了

BACK, I WILL ASK MR. OLIVER HIS THOUGHTS ON THE IMPEACHMENT THAT

後面，我想問一下奧利弗先生，他對這次事件的看法。奧利弗先生對這一事件的看法。

STARTED THIS WEEK.

本週開始。

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