I mean, I will say backstage you were a little bit, you know, a little bit more relaxed, but this is great.

My trick is new shoes like new shoes will make you feel amazing.

Those shoes are called creepers, which are like British shoes, and I think about them like the night before s a You know, you new shoes.

You feel good.

That z what that is I picked them for two reasons.

Number one.

There's a rubber soul and number two it's like an inch and a half So I just get that in height E s, That's what that is.

The height thing was going really well.

I had a good set.

It ended well.

And then Conan came and stood next to me and we looked like something out of Lord of the Rings have to comments from Indian people are like Is he short?

Was Conan Tall?

Which one is it on?

I'm like, get's both.

Actually, it's both Ah, a lot of work goes into a short late night state upset.

Join me, J.

P.

Buck.

As I spotlight the comedians who came up with some of my favorite coin sets, this'd is the set up.

Please welcome to very funny Veer DOS way didn't meet before you were booked on the show.

That's the thing.

Like usually.

Like, I do meet somebody before, um, For the first time that I saw you, you came to my attention.

Ah, good friend of mine, Harry Kinabalu actually mentioned you in ah, a couple of times and said like, you have to see him.

You've got to see here and I happen to be over in Edinburgh was 2016 and you're performing.

And I had, like, a nine o'clock show.

And yours was 11.

45 a night.

Remember?

I went back to my hotel room to get, like, maybe 20 minutes of sleep.

You were at the gilded balloon and in the basement.

It felt like I was walking into um, you know, when you like the band, the band that's about to break, and you're going to see them in the cool venue before they go and play the big arena.

And you're like I was there the nice thing about Edinburgh is there's there's not a lot of Indians in Scotland, and that's strange, but that they're just on on dso like you get Bollywood fans in Edinburgh, Um, and then just guys who don't know who I am, just random British people who don't know who I am, which is just the two extremes of people you can have in the audience.

So it's just like, Man, I love his movie and I have no idea.

Uh, and those two people interact with each other, and that's a nice sort of palpable energy when that happens, and these will these were preview shows, because it was just I think it was like 45 people.

The entire room was 45 or 50 people in the basement late at night and my first time there with that Schultz.

It was smart.

It was a good time, and we didn't meet even then, like even then we didn't say hi or anything.

I wanted to talk to you, but you were kind of you're kind of getting swarmed through the show, so I didn't I was like I could have waited around, but I don't wanna bother you.

And I was like, Okay, well, at some point, I'm sure our paths will cross flash forward.

We didn't get to actually meet in person until I booked you for the show, and you actually came to the studio.

You and me met quickly, like a t icehouse and Power E.

All right, so So I got booked, and I knew that this was happening.

And my manager, Reg, was like, All right, you need to get a set together.

You need to get a set together.

And I'm like, I don't know what that is because, you know, we're Indian.

And so for us, like, you know, six minutes means 15 minutes.

You know that Z how we work.

What's cool about you is you didn't even mention that you were watching me at the ice house.

You just kind of showed up after the thing on.

Do you would like?

I like that and and that was fun.

And and maybe go here with it.

But had I known you were in the audience before, I would have been a little more nervous, you know?

So it was cool of you to kind of wait until I until I got done with that 10 minute spot to give me no time, which was really nice.

It just so happened.

And these bookings happen independently and it depends on the schedule of the guest.

It depends on the schedule of like sometimes people will change their dates last second.

So things get moved around and you can think that we purposely booked two guests on the same show.

This did not happen, and I don't think I even realized it until, like the day of or day before it was destiny.

Man, that was That was insane.

You have a joke in your set about the person who is the lead guest on the show?

Yeah.

I couldn't have predicted it in a million years.

So yeah, I had the APU from The Simpsons joke, which was super important to me to do because that's the one like I used to have.

Like, the only two Indians that Americans have really seen are like Gandhi and Apu from The Simpsons, right?

Those are the two guys, which is why you don't consider a sexy, by the way.

Like if you were more So I did the apu from The Simpsons joke, which I think was this is there's no APU from The Simpsons Joe coming up.

This is not that.

And then glance over and like, hankers arias sitting right over there, which is insane because he does the voice for a poo on.

I think that's 90% of your comment section.

Is just people going?

Oh, snap, Like that's the entire comment section on the thing, which is insane.

Uh, my name is Vidas.

I'm from Bombay in India.

Has anybody ever been to India?

Well, if you haven't been, you must go because your jobs have I had seven other opening lines and this felt like what I would do if this was a club and and so I ended up going with that.

I remember, like talking with my team about it and a couple of friends.

And I'm like, You know, it's possible that I lose them at line one, you know, because it's not Hey, good to be here.

I'm so happy I'm from here, etcetera, etcetera.

It's just in straight eso it sets context for what the rest of this is gonna be, or I lose this crowd on, never get on American television again.

Before I start telling jokes, I should clarify something.

Guys, I have an Indian accent.

This is how I talk.

I'm not doing a bit.

There's no APU from The Simpsons Joe coming up, But give me a little bit of time.

My action will grow on you, right?

Or just give me like four or five generations will be fine.

And it's okay to not understand each other.

There are things about me that you may not understand.

Like my accent.

There are things about you America that I don't understand, like your women.

Now here's the thing about this joke.

What I love about this like it makes you think that you're gonna say something almost like very judgmental about their women.

Yes, it's presented that way, but it's such a it's such a fun idea to turn on the way that most comics would deliver a joke like this.

What I was nervous about in this point is you know what's coming up is, uh, you know, usually go.

Have you tried Indian yet?

Which is the line coming up right?

And what you want is ladies going?

Yeah, you know, or whatever or giving you a bit of a cat call.

You know, a little bit of unenthusiastic thing, which most places I played in America.

Americans Very enthusiastic.

You guys, our ah woo crowd.

I get the womb right.

Uh, but the nightmare is just you're going.

Have you tried Indian yet?

And ladies going on Just silence.

Uh, that's the nightmare scenario, but they were kind of there kind of nice about this.

I don't understand American women.

I don't understand how you can resist this.

No.

Have you tried Indian bagels?

Have you tried Indian or you must.

Once you go brown, the other colors let you down.

There are two Mexicans in back.

Right?

This shit down, man, you should applies to us too.

Essa e.

I apologize.

I don't mean to insult Mexicans.

I'm just a comedian.

I'm not your president.

Once you go brown, the other colors will let you down is now a tinder profile.

It's now on T shirts if you go through like people dubbing my stuff on tick tock right from my movies and all of that stuff.

This is the number one line that they dub.

Uh, this is the most memorable line from that special is well, and I never thought it would happen.

You know, this was just one of those an easy joke if I'm being completely honest.

Uh, but I feel like from this point on in the set, we all start to have a little fun because, you know, now we now we know each other.

Everybody is complaining too much.

You have to work this out, guys.

Everybody's like, man, we didn't choose this guy.

Now we gotta live with him.

We didn't vote for this guy.

Now we gotta live with him.

Do you Americans?

That's the president.

To most Indians, that's a marriage.

That's what Donald Trump is.

He's your arranged marriage, ladies and gentlemen, because in the most literal sense, your parents picked this guy out for you.

You know, arranged marriage works.

You know, that's really where I'm coming from On this job is you gotta work it out.

It's an arranged marriage, and this might actually work out.

Let's be clear, it didn't, but, you know, it might actually work out, but if you came out and you're like, this guy, you know, is blah, blah, blah, and I don't like him or, you know, he's a fool, etcetera, etcetera.

I think even somebody who didn't support him politically I'd lose them with this joke.

You know, as as you might, Aziz, we might respond to like an American coming over and saying, Your prime minister is you know, something of the other.

So it is a line that you kind of have to walk because Trump is an easy joke.

Like our prime minister is an easy joke.

But there's still that sentiment of Yeah, it's bullshit.

But it's our bullshit, uh, on and I think you have to be cognizant and kind of respectful off that.

So you know, if you notice the joke and I can only see this in retrospect because I wish it was all so preplanned.

I think what works for the joke in retrospect and it was unplanned is that there's something there's an offering of an idea that is Indian towards the situation that is America, you know.

But if it was just me going, I don't get it.

What are you doing?

I think there'd be a different response on there's religious phobia because I believe that the world is changing and religion can't keep up.

I feel like we need to update every major religion in the world.

Just take every religion and give it to the company.

Apple every six months.

Applicant update and relaunch the religion to the world.

How nice would that be?

That's what we need.

We need Islam.

Six s, Ladies and gentlemen, we need Jesus, bro.

You would slow terrorism down.

Can you imagine how much you would slow terrorism down if every time some nut job wanted to commit a jihad, You first have to sign a new online agreement with Apple.

Supposed to get a jihad?

I'd.

Then you have to sync all your bombs in your devices to the same jihad idea.

Except that one bomb didn't work with the old version of iTunes.

And I have to download the new version of Ideo on you all set to go up to heaven and get 72 virgins.

But your iCloud only hold six virgins.

So now you have the up.

I think it's my defense mechanism as well.

With a minute I do something that is slightly statement T.

That's the only word I have for it.

Oh, he made a statement because I don't like that.

You know, I don't like sitting in that for too long.

I like to go someplace silly, like really fast and then come back.

Um, So I think this is me doing that from a dynamics point of you.

Just let's get silly for a bit.

My favorite part of that joke is just android users going.

What the hell is he talking about?

Always sitting on the Androids.

Look how happy and confident I look.

Alright.

And just just watch that.

Just look at that that swag pose, and then just watch it go away in, like, three seconds.

You're not alone.

I mean, I even feel I have to I my neck cranes all the time.

When I'm talking to him, I think your camera that kind of went, Oh, shit.

Look at that difference and kind of went up.

It's It's it's Gandalf and Frodo.

That's what it is.

It's great.

E, don't think we've ever spoken about this.

But one cool thing that this did for me was bring back a little bit of goodwill.