Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles - I just have a bit about watching Basketball Wives and loving it, and my black guy friend says, "Doesn't that make, doesn't that show "make black women look terrible?" And I'm like, "Nah, it makes those black women look terrible. "I look fantastic up on the couch drinking my drink. "I ain't throwing it at anybody." My homie was like, "Okay, okay, all right. "It makes black women look terrible, you cool with it. "But doesn't it bother you these women are on TV "because they use their bodies to get money from athletes? "Doesn't that bother you?" Why would that bother me? Men get so mad at women for getting by on their looks like it's not men letting women get by on their looks. It's not me doing it. I've never given a pretty bitch anything. Not homework help, not a pencil case, not a cake recipe. Evelyn's on TV 'cause you like titties. It has nothing to do with me. So many rappers, athletes, all this, they get so mad at gold diggers. They're so punitive on black women who want to come up, but they use their money to get women. It's such a bogus thing. It's a patriarchy you set up that is making you unhappy. And I think it's really shitty that we're projecting all these things of the responsibility of black presentation to people. Women who are on TV, on a reality show, have to be reflective of positive black women, and what's to say that their version of blackness isn't good? And the idea that something shouldn't be on TV 'cause it makes the rest of us look bad is punishing us for white people's shitty understandings or views of us. So now we have to perform blackness in a way that's responsible, so white people could respect us? They're not gonna respect us anyway. Put more kinds of black people on TV, so that we don't sort of have any monolithic poor or good stereotypes, that you represent the variances. (light music) - Well, the politics of comedy as a black woman? Ha! Where can I start? It's a hard, long sluck. - You know, 'cause people always think I'm nice and shit 'cause I wear bright colors and I have dimples, but I'm a raging bitch on the inside, you have no idea, 'cause I've been nice for 30 years and I'm tired. I used to be a skinny white bitch from Maryland. I just, I'm so tired. For me, as a black woman, I wanna hear the black female perspective too. I think we have a lot of examples of black men, from Dave Chappelle to Chris Rock, who have their opinions and people sort of respect their opinion as, "This is the black experience", and there's really no black women who are really able to have that kind of platform. I mean, I think it's changing a little bit and hopefully I'll be one of the people that can help change that. - Oh, they don't think women is funny. And a lot of times, women get caught up with sleeping with people. Nobody wanted me, I wanted to fight all the time and I demanded respect. I think that's why I put Ms in the front of my name. Ms Pat is my stage name. They say we're not funny. "All women talk about the same thing", that's not true. You know how many white boys out here do cat jokes? I hate cat jokes. - As a woman in this business, it's hard enough to get bookings in the headlining spots anyway, and as a black woman, that counts against you even more. It's the same in Hollywood. It's the same in every industry though, that's the thing. It's not just comedy. I used to be an engineer. I worked as an engineer and I came up against the same problems being a female engineer in a male dominated industry, and a black female engineer at that. - When it comes to being a black woman in comedy, I have to compete with black men to get their respect. They push the limits, they talk a lot of shit, they wanna see if you can handle it. The worst thing you can do being a woman in comedy is to have a mental breakdown or cry. If you get upset or take anything personally, they're like, "Oh you can't handle this, "Why are you doing this?" So it is a lot of verbal abuse, but you just have to know how to dish it back, and most of the time, when it comes, it can come from a jealous place or it can come from a place of being like, "I wanna see what you're made of, I wanna test you." - All fucking day and night, you get text text text. You know why, ladies? A man wanna communicate with you, but they don't wanna fucking talk to you. (audience laughs) If a man can get you out your house, across town and in his bed and never hear your fucking voice, that is a fucking Christmas present every day for fucking men. See? Look at these motherfuckers. - Men don't like when women talk, so trying to navigate a world where men want you to shut up and girls learn that girls should shut up, so you've gotta find a way to make people who don't like the tone of your voice or your pitch to listen. If you talk about girl shit, it's not funny. Men talk about their dicks all the time, but if you talk about your pussy or your period or dating or feeling insecure about your body, now it's a girly bit, when insecurity is a universal experience. - Yes, that's a lot of moving. I'm on my period, so. (audience laughs) I can't be shaking it up and down. I got a fat pad. You know, they got fat pads now for fat bitches. This is what happens, they want it to be a war between skinny bitches and fat bitches over pads. The fat pad is so different than the skinny pad 'cause the skinny pad for the skinny bitches has integrity. (audience laughs) It's in a little purple box and it's got Always written in calligraphy. In the commercial, the bitch is like, "Always". And you're like, "What, bitch? "You got what?" "Always. "Shh, I'm bleeding." (audience laughs) And then the fat pad is called Forever, and... (audience laughs) It's in a big black box with chains. (audience laughs) And there's three dudes in the commercial beatboxing, "P-p-pads!" And the fat bitch comes out through the smoke, "Hey, I'm on my period, ah! "I'm bleeding to death!" - And then you add blackness on top of it. You have people, black people even have told me this, "Don't talk about race too much. "You don't wanna alienate the audience." And it's like, well that's, I guess, 95% of my experience, race, so you're asking me to not be an authentic human, so as to please. So you're basically asking me to do white dude comedy and I'm not a white dude, so it's not gonna work. It took a while, but I got to the point where I'm gonna talk about race because I feel like it. I was talking to this white guy, and there's this thing that happens with white guys where they don't know black women are people, so they say the weirdest things to you. Like this dude, he was like, "Hey, I'm hot, you're hot. "Let's make beautiful interracial babies together." I know. I looked at him and I was like, "Nah." Not 'cause I'm against interracial dating, please, have a marble swirl cake party. That's good for you. But he said beautiful interracial babies, and I'm shallow, and I'm petty, so why would I purposely get with you to make a person hotter than me? Why would I do that? That's ridiculous. 'Cause home's supposed to be a sanctuary, so how is Mommy supposed to love herself when there's some Lisa Bonet, Halle Berry looking ass kid sitting on my couch, watching SpongeBob with her pretty green eyes. No! Fuck out of here. - I'm sure a lot of female comics have crazy stories of comics hitting on them. I remember one time I was on the road. I bombed, I bombed really badly that night, and the headliner, he called me. He was just like, "How are you doing?" And I was just like, "Ah, I'm feeling down." And he was just like, "Oh, why don't you come over to my room?" Now in hindsight, I'm listening to that, I'm just like, "Well this sounds like some bullshit or a setup", but I had just bombed. I bombed for 20 minutes straight, I'm feeling down. This guy seemed nice enough and he's just like, "Oh, come through." I didn't wanna sit there by myself, so I was like, "All right." So I came in and dude answered the door naked. I mean, so it's like, shit like that happens and you're just like, "What the fuck is going on here?" So at that point, I'm just like, "Well I guess I'm gonna have to be sad by myself in my room "'cause he's clearly letting me know "that he's offered me dick. "I don't think he just accidentally got out the shower "and didn't have a chance to put clothes on." - A lot of times, you hear black male comics talk about black women, 'cause that's the first thing that they can touch, and it's, sometimes it's disparaging. It's always the, "And you know, my girlfriend, and she," and it's like, not every, all you motherfuckers is dating the same hood ass bitch? And then half the time, you see them and it's like, you're not, you're giving this experience of a black woman but you're not even with a black woman, so that can be frustrating. Comedy is important. People take that shit seriously, and if that's the way you're presenting black women, that's why we're having a lot of problems we have, and I could say that for black women as well, how they represent black men. It's not every time you talk about black people, we broke, we poor, we ignorant, we don't know what's going on. You can go further than that for a joke. - I tweeted a joke. The Mayweather McGregor fight was happening, and the joke was, "Being a black woman is hating a shitty black dude "but still having to root for him "because the white dudes who hate him "are a little too 'heritage, not hate'." I had all of these people calling me a racist, sending me pictures of Trump, sending me pictures of Mayweather and Trump. Pictures of Trump in your phone feel like terrorism. All I wanted to do was talk about the complicated identity of being a black woman loyal to black men who also harm you, and when that loyalty sort of supersedes any frustrations you might have with a black man, because the affront from whiteness is great. And that's all I wanted to explore, the complications of black female identity. - When it comes to the comedy world, when they view a black woman, it seems it's like two main options, and those two options are wavy hipster black girl who's funky and eclectic and probably dates a white guy and be like, "My white boo is amazing." That's acceptable because it's not threatening and it's comforting because it's something that they can relate to. And the other side of it is super heavy set sassy black woman who goes up on stage and eats a chicken wing in front of everyone, like, "She's amazing." So I'm neither one of those. Natalie Portman should not be the next female Thor. She's 5'3, 118 pounds. I poop Natalie Portman out on a green smoothie day. (audience laughs) You know how frustrating it is, like I'm a strong black woman but I can't be a hero? Like come on! In a real world scenario, if any of you were trapped by a villain and they were like, "You got two people that can come save you, "Natalie Peewee Portman..." (audience laughs) "Or Chloe Thunder Thighs Hilliard", you be like. (audience cheers) - Well, I can only speak for myself. I think that I'm intelligent enough, I do a Bachelor Arts degree in English and people don't always know that but I'm quick to let them know in a different type of setting. I think that I can stand toe to toe with any white woman doing sexually explicit comedy. You can take cuss words and put them in a black woman's mouth and they would somehow sound more vulgar than they are when they come out of a white woman's mouth. That's just because of the power of our blackness, the power of our strength. But you know that you can get catfished with a dick, ladies? (audience laughs) 'Cause how come every dick come up in your phone is a beautiful, hard, veiny cock? How come every, everybody that's texting, everybody's texting dicks got a beautiful dick. Their dick is just beautiful. Everybody, really? No. (audience laughs) No, it's not like that. Then, you know, I'm not saying that I fuck motherfuckers on Facebook, but what had happened was, this one time... (audience laughs) Facebook first came out, I met this little shorty, you know what I'm saying? And we met at a mutual spot. Motherfucker got naked and shit and we got in the bed and I was looking at his dick and I was looking at the phone, I was like, "Hey. "Where's the dick in this phone? "Where's the mole? "There's a mole right there." - When men get up on stage, the assumption is that they're gonna be funny until they prove that they're not. When a woman gets up on stage, there's an assumption that she's not gonna be funny until she proves she is, and that's the main difference. And the politics that I'm talking about here is, so you got that, you got to prove that you're funny, but you've also got to be reasonably attractive, unfortunately. A lot of women comics are, they're worried about what they look like, or whether men are gonna be attracted to them, even when they're doing their comedy. As me, as a woman who's gay, I don't give a fuck. I get up on stage and I'm like, "I'm just gonna be funny. "I don't care whether you want to fuck me or not, "I don't give a shit." If I need to make myself ugly for a joke, I will 'cause I don't care. - The thing I think about being a woman, and a black woman, you're told, "Here is a beauty standard you need to meet", right? And then when you meet it, because society tells you to, they're like, "Oh okay, so you wanna be white now? "Oh, so you wanna be, you wanna be this, you wanna be that? "I want a girl that looks naturally beautiful. "I want a girl with stretch marks." It's like, "Okay, well this girl has stretch marks and she's" "Oh no, she's ugly." Like, so what do we do? If you're ugly, you're losing. If you are pretty, you're also trying too hard. Y'all told us this straight hair is pretty, but then if you have straight hair, "Oh, you're trying to be a white girl." "Oh, you got blue contacts? "Who told you blue eyes were pretty? "You're trying to be white." - And as a woman, it's even worse for us. At least ugly guys can still get on. Ugly dudes can do comedy and it's like, "It's so real, it's so gritty, it's so..." How many ugly women or women who are not considered conventionally attractive are blowing up right now? Exactly. Politics as a female comedian, ha ha. This is what we're up against. And a black woman at that? Jesus. - Oh yeah, February and March, man I'm super tired. I'm super tired. February and March are the best months for a black lady comedian, 'cause that Black History Month and then followed right up by Women's History Month. This is when we stack our bread, right? Before we go back to being invisible. (audience laughs) Not a joke, all right. - Well, I mean, you look at a comedy calendar, it's mostly filled with men. You might, it's 52 weeks in a year and you might have six women out of the whole year that come through that comedy club. As a woman, I have to ask myself, "Why? "I know more than funny six fucking females." So, to me, that's just unfair. Why are you booking all of these guys and only six women? I'm a black woman and I play mainstream clubs. I literally only see me. If Loni Love is not on the roll, or Mo'Nique or Sommore, then that's it. I'm like, right now I'm like their token black woman. So it's not right that you give 40-some weeks to men and only eight, maybe eight weeks to women. - We're always a token. It's always, whenever you look at a comedy show, it's always maybe one woman, maybe two. They have a female host, then they'll have five comics on a show and maybe one other woman will be on the show. There'll be rarely, when you go to a comedy show anywhere, unless it's a specialty show or produced by a woman who's making a point, will there be four women and one man on the lineup. Unheard of. They're not gonna book two black women on the same show. They'll book a white woman and a black woman, but not two. - And then once you start accomplishing things, you've got the people who say, "Oh, you're only here 'cause you're a woman", "You're only here 'cause you're black", "You're only here 'cause you're a black woman", because I don't know, any time a black person has anything, we clearly couldn't have earned it. We couldn't have gotten no merit. It had to be Affirmative Action. But then the lie of white supremacy doesn't follow the logical end, right? If somebody is successful and black, they'll say, "Why don't you be like him? "You can do it. "He did it, you can do it." And then you try to do it and then when you get something, they diminish your accomplishments by saying it's an Affirmative Action or tokenism, and which is it? So that's a major frustration I've had, trying to remember that everything you have, you deserve. - I think Kwanzaa was invented for black people because there was no way black parents wanted to let a white guy in a red suit take the credit for all their hard work. My mom's an African woman, there was no fucking chance. She was not having a white guy taking the credit. She had all our presents had her name on it. "I bought it, I bought it, I bought it, "I bought it, I bought it." I've been out here hustling for years and you see people and you just go, "How?" It's hard not to look at people and go, "How the, how did you?" You just gotta keep looking forward and just keep staying positive in this industry, and make your own way, and that's always the thing that I'm done. I've gone, "You know what? "I'm not waiting for you guys to give me anything. "I'll make my own stuff." I've had three stand up specials, one on Showtime, one on CSUN, another one on Sirius, I made them all myself. I was like, "Okay, Netflix, Comedy Central, no? "Nobody's gonna give me this fair shot? "All right, whatever. "I'm gonna invest in my own comedy." So I got my money, I rented a theater, I sold that theater out, I rented my film crew and I shot my own damn specials, and then I sold them to Showtime and CSUN at a vast profit. So as a comedian, a black comedian especially in this business and a woman comedian, you have to make your own way. - Especially when it comes to people of color in white spaces, they're like, "Just be happy you're here. "Just sit in the corner, take this free drink "and fucking chill." And I'm like, "Nah, I'm not doing that "'cause you're not respecting me. "Now you're just using me as an opportunity "to say, 'See, we have diversity!'." And it's like, nah, I've been there. I've been the diversity chair for a newspaper organization. I know what the fuck is up. I know the quota, okay? I've been there, I've done that, I'm not playing that game. And so I think people don't realize that when they meet me that I had a whole life before this, so I'm not going for the okie doke. - Black comedy in America. I mean, it is important, but it's only important if it's being done correctly. It's only important if you're telling the real deal. And I'm not even saying I'm doing it right, I'm just saying I'm trying to do it right. But some of this material has to stop, this whole, "My boyfriend's white", "I'm dating this white girl", "White people have some way made my life better", with like, they're the Guardians of the Galaxy or shit. "I didn't know this until I met her". And I'm the opposite, I'm like, I had dinner with a friend of mine in Connecticut and I met her mother for the first time and at the end of it, she says, "Oh my God, you speak so well. "You're so well behaved." I was like, "Bitch, what?" And I said to her, "What do you mean, well behaved? "What you think, I'm a monkey out of the damn zoo? "What was I supposed to be doing?" This is how people are legit talking. I think a lot of times, we get insecure about being black. You already got the world treating you like a second class citizen and then you step into that role. So a lot of times, people go, "Well, who's this black bitch with all this confidence, "and why does she think so highly of herself? "Why is she not looking down?" 'Cause I wasn't raised to look down. - The first obligation is to be honest and true to yourself, and then the next is to do no harm. It's really important to me that I am not a black person who performs for white people things that harm other black people. I watched a set a couple years ago. It was a legend, legendary comedian mocking a black woman in front of white people. I don't think it was his intention to do that, but it really hurt my feelings. I wouldn't say that I felt sold out, but I felt tossed aside in pursuit of white laughter, and I never want to make someone with my comedy feel how I felt. So I don't know necessarily that there's a role for the black comedian, I just hope that my role is to not hurt the feelings of a little black girl or little black boy in pursuit of white laughter. That's very important to me. (light music)
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