A curious Google search, word of mouth, what was it?

Mouth to mouth? I hope not.

Who was this pioneer of pleasure

and how did they reach

a conclusion that is also now your climax?

(upbeat electronic music)

Before anal beads, where did people get pleasure?

That's right, drugs.

And how did people move those drugs?

You guessed it, their anus.

And in 1914, the US established the Harrison Narcotic Act

that limited the permissible medical uses

for heroin and other drugs.

It was the government that was cracking down,

saying, "Hey, we know drugs are fun,

but let's keep having fun."

In Franklin, Virginia,

there was a man named Sebastian Kloss.

He was a well-respected haberdasher

with a known drug habit.

Sebastian was an incredible salesman

who could sell a three-piece suit to a woman,

which of course, at the time, highly illegal.

Sebastian could talk anyone into anything,

except for his doctor, Dr. Normand Whitaker.

Now, Dr. Normand Whitaker refused

to prescribe Sebastian heroin

because he knew Sebastian had an addiction

and a large penis.

Which brings me to the question,

how much joy did one man really need?

So, Sebastian hired his apprentice, Barney Lastercomb,

to obtain a heroin prescription.

Sebastian knew it'd be easy for Barney

because Barney was offensively unattractive,

and during the time, heroin was a cure.

Barney agreed to be Sebastian's drug mule

in hopes Sebastian would let him work

at the front of the suit shop.

Right now, he was kept in the stock room,

attached to a leash.

Then after a five-minute appointment,

Barney got the heroin.

The question then became, how does he sneak the heroin

into the suit shop?

Barney couldn't afford a briefcase,

and most of his pants had holes in them because,

let's be honest, most ugly people were poor.

Then, Barney remembered one tight pocket, his anus.

But, the bottle was too large to fit.

He tried several times at different angles,

again and again.

But, nothing fit.

The question of how then shifted to what,

as in what could he fit up his own asshole.

Barney scoured his room for inspiration,

until he came across this, marbles, multiple.

A marble was a toy practically made for the anus,

if you thing about it.

Barney separated the heroin into marble-sized doses,

rapped each dose in butcher paper, and tied them together

using the string of his yo-yo.

That's right, a child's toy.

Once fastened into a rope formation,

Barney slowly pushed the drugs into his anus.

Barney felt an intense burst of pleasure.

It was so good, he was worried the heroin had seeped

from the paper, so he sprinted to the suit shop

in fear of overdosing.

Once at the shop, Barney ripped the rope out of his anus

and found the drugs were completely sealed.

Not one particle of heroin escaped that butcher paper.

He handed over the feces-covered rope

and waddled home.

Quack, quack.

So, if it wasn't from the heroin,

it must have come from its shape.

Back at home, Barney tested his theory.

He tied a handful of marbles together

with the yo-yo string, again.

He descended the rope deep into his asshole,

and his prediction was confirmed.

It was as if Barney was Thomas Edison turning

on a light bulb.

But, the thing it turned on was himself.

Barney started replicating these anus marbles

as a gift for his friends, parents, and even grandparents.

Word about these anus marbles spread around like a plague.

As a result, Barney had to sell the anus marbles

to cover his overhead costs.

By 1918, Barney opened up

an anus marble shop bigger than the suit shop he started in.

And this time, he was working in the front,

but also a little in the back.

At the time,

anus marbles weren't considered sexual experiences.

They were stress relievers.

People used them in work meetings,

family gatherings, even as a way to cure drug addictions.

Barney Lastercomb wasn't just an innovator, he was a hero.

Barney was producing so many anal marbles,

by 1924, he actually died of carpal tunnel.

People continue to copy Barney's anus marble model.

Some went on experimenting with different materials,

like bouncy balls, hard candies,

beads from their wives' jewelry,

which is how you know it got the name of anus beads.

Anal beads, often overlooked as a sexual accessory.

But, they're still changing lives.

Whether it's helping someone explore their sexuality

or saving a marriage, anal beads have brought so much

to so many people.

I want to take this moment to thank you, Barney Lastercomb.

Rest in beads.

(upbeat music)