♪ - Everyone listen up! ♪

大家都給我聽好

♪ If you can't write ♪

如果你不能夠

♪ In the proper way ♪

正確的寫字

♪ If you don't know ♪

如果你不知道

♪ How to conjugate ♪

怎麼使用詞性的變化

♪ Maybe you flunked that class ♪

也許你那堂課不及格

♪ And maybe now you find ♪

而也許現在你發現到

♪ That people mock you online ♪

大家都在網路上嘲笑你

♪ Okay, now here's the deal: ♪

好, 不然這樣吧

♪ I'll try to educate ya ♪

我來試著教教你

♪ Gonna familiarize ♪

要讓你跟

♪ You with the nomenclature ♪

術語表混熟

♪ You'll learn the definitions ♪

你將會學到

♪ Of nouns and prepositions ♪

名詞跟介系詞的定義

♪ Literacy's your mission: ♪

讀書識字是你的任務

♪ And that's why I think it's a good time ♪

而這就是為啥我覺得這是歡樂時光

♪ To learn some grammar ♪

來學些文法

♪ Now, did I stammer? ♪

我剛剛結巴了嗎?

♪ Work on that grammar ♪

好好學習文法

♪ You should know when ♪

你該知道何時

♪ It's less or it's fewer ♪

得使用less 或 fewer

♪ Like people who were ♪

就好像從來沒有人

♪ Never raised in a sewer ♪

在下水道長大一樣

♪ I hate these word crimes ♪

我討厭這些文字犯罪

♪ Like "I could care less" ♪

就像 "I could care less"

♪ That means you do care ♪

那代表你在乎

♪ At least a little ♪

至少有一點

♪ Don't be a moron ♪

別當個白~ 癡~

♪ You'd better slow down ♪

你最好慢下來

♪ And use the right pronoun ♪

並使用正確的代名詞

♪ Show the world you're no clown ♪

像世界證明你不是小丑

Everybody wise up!

大家學聰明點!

♪ Say you got an I-T ♪

你寫了個I-T

♪ Followed by an apostrophe ♪

後面加上個撇號

♪ Now what does that mean? ♪

現在那代表什麼意思?

♪ You would not use it's in this case! ♪

你在這裡並不會用到!

♪ - As a possessive - No, no, no! ♪

- 就像個所有格 -不不不!

♪ - It's a contraction. - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! ♪

- 它是個縮短形 -對! 對! 對!

♪ What's a contraction? ♪

什麼是縮短形?

Well, it's the shortening of a word or a group of words

它是一個字或一組字的短寫

by omission of a sound or letter.

根據刪除一個音或字母

♪ Okay, now here's some notes ♪

OK, 現在來看些筆記

♪ Syntax you're always mangling ♪

你總是弄遭的語法

♪ No X in "Espresso" ♪

在 "Espresso" 裡沒有X

♪ Your participle's danglin' ♪

你的分詞在垂懸

♪ But I don't want your drama ♪

但我不想要你的戲劇性

♪ If you really wanna ♪

如果你真得很想要

♪ Leave out that Oxford comma ♪

省去牛津(系列)逗號

♪ Just keep in mind that BCRU ♪

只要好好記得 BCRU

♪ Are words, not letters ♪

是單字不是字母

♪ Get it together ♪

給我認真一點

♪ Use your spell checker ♪

用你的拼字檢查

♪ You should never ♪

你從不應該

♪ Write words using numbers ♪

用數字來寫單字

♪ Unless you're seven ♪

除非你才7歲大

♪ Or your name is Prince ♪

或者你的名字是Prince(音樂家)

♪ I hate these word crimes ♪

我討厭這些文字犯罪

♪ You really need a full time proof reader ♪

你真的需要個全職校對員

♪ You dumb mouth breather ♪

你這沒知識的笨蛋

♪ Well, you should hire ♪

你應該顧用

♪ Some cunning linguist ♪

一些靈巧的語言學家

♪ To help you distinguish ♪

來幫助你分辨

♪ What is proper English ♪

什麼是正確的英文

Everybody wise up!

大家學聰明點!

♪ One thing I ask of you... ♪

我要求你一件事

♪ Time to learn your homophones is past due ♪

學習異義同音字的時間已經過了

♪ Learn to diagram a sentence too ♪

也要學用圖解法來了解句子

♪ Always say, "to whom;" ♪

永遠都要說 "to whom," (給"誰"受詞)

♪ Don't ever say "to who." ♪

絕不說 "to who." (給"誰"主詞)

♪ Listen up when I tell you this ♪

當我在跟你說這個時給我仔細聽好

♪ I hope you never use quotation marks for emphasis ♪

我希望你永遠別用引號來加強語氣

♪ You finished second grade, I hope you can tell ♪

你念完了二年級, 我希望你能辨別

♪ If you're doing good or doing well ♪

你到底是doing good 還是 doing well

♪ You better figure out the difference ♪

你最好搞清楚差異性

♪ Irony is not coincidence ♪

Irony (諷刺) 不是 Coincidence (巧合)

♪ And I thought that you'd gotten it through your skull... ♪

而我還以為你已經搞懂了

♪ about what's figurative and what's literal ♪

什麼是 figurative (比喻的) 而什麼是 literal (如實的、不誇張的)

♪ - Just now. - Just now. ♪

-而剛才 -剛才

♪ - You said. - You said. ♪

-你說 -你說

♪ You "literally couldn't get out of bed." ♪

你"真的不能起床"

What!?

什麼!?

♪ That really makes me want to literally ♪

那真的讓我很想要

♪ Smack a crowbar upside your stupid head! ♪

拿根鐵撬砸你那愚蠢的頭

♪ I read your e-mail ♪

我讀了你的 e-mail

♪ It's quite apparent ♪

這真的非常明顯

♪ Your grammar's errant ♪

你的文法迷路了

♪ You're incoherent ♪

你很無條理

♪ Saw your blog post ♪

看到了你的部落格文章

♪ It's really fantastic! ♪

它簡直是棒透了!

♪ That was sarcastic ♪

那是在諷刺

♪ 'Cause you write like a spastic ♪

你寫字像個麻痺患者

♪ I hate these word crimes ♪

我討厭這些文字犯罪

♪ Your prose is dopey ♪

你的散文很愚蠢

♪ Think you should only ♪

我想你應該只

♪ Write in Emojis ♪

用表情符號來寫字

♪ Oh, you're a lost cause ♪

喔, 你已經徹底沒救了

♪ Go back to pre-school ♪

回去重讀幼稚園

♪ Get out of the gene pool ♪

離基因庫遠一點

♪ Try your best to not drool ♪

試著別流口水

Never mind, I give up.

算了, 我放棄

Really now, I give up.

說真的, 我放棄