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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,

  • EVERYBODY.

  • MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "THE DA VINCI CODE,"

  • "MASTER AND COMMANDER," AND AS VISION IN THE MARVEL CINEMATIC

  • UNIVERSE.

  • HE NOW STARS IN "WANDAVISION."

  • >> SO...

  • >> YES, BUT IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.

  • YOU ASKED HER TO DO IT.

  • >> WHY WOULD I HAVE DONE THAT?

  • >> TO SAVE THE UNIVERSE.

  • WELL, HALF OF IT.

  • >> DID IT WORK?

  • >> IT DID.

  • UNTIL THE BAD GUY REWOUND TIME.

  • THERE ARE A FEW EXTRA STEPS, BUT TO SET UP THE CONTEXT.

  • >> I CAME BACK AND DIED AGAIN.

  • >> AND SHE HAD TO WATCH.

  • OH, MAN, ANOTHER RED LIGHT!

  • OVERKILL OUT IN THE STICKS HERE, DON'T YOU THINK?

  • >> YES.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ I BELIEVE, I THINK, THAT ONE DAY

  • IS CREATING THESE IMPEDIMENTS TO STOP ME FROM RETURNING HOME.

  • >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," PAUL BETTANY!

  • >> Stephen: HI PAUL BETTANY, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

  • >> NICE TO SEE YOU.

  • >> Stephen: I WANT TO GET TO "WANDAVISION" IN JUST A MINUTE.

  • I'M OBSESSED.

  • MY FAMILY AND I WATCH.

  • WE WATCHED THE "WATCH TOGETHER" FUNCTION ON THE DISNEY+, WHERE

  • EVERYBODY, WHEREVER YOU ARE, YOU CAN WATCH AT THE SAME TIME, AND

  • EVERYBODY CAN PAUSE AND GO, "WAIT, WAIT, GO BACK.

  • WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?

  • WHAT WAS THAT EASTER EGG?" I WATCHED THE VIDEOS BREAKING

  • DOWN WHERE THE EASTER EGGS ARE, ALL THE FAN, YOU KNOW, FAN

  • THEORY VIDEOS.

  • I'M-- I'M COMPLETELY SWEPT.

  • IT'S THE ONLY THING PULLING ME THROUGH THE VERY END OF COVID

  • RIGHT NOW.

  • I CAN SEE THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL, AND YOU'RE--

  • YOU'RE MY CYBIL TAKING ME THROUGH THE DARK CAVES.

  • THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE, AND THANK YOU FOR DOING THE SHOW.

  • >> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

  • I FEEL LIKE-- I NOW FEEL SO MUCH PRESSURE ABOUT THE LAST EPISODE.

  • >> Stephen: YEAH, YOU SHOULD.

  • YOU SHOULD.

  • BEFORE WE GET TO THAT, THOUGH, ARE YOU ABOUT TO OR DID YOU JUST

  • TURN 50?

  • >> NO, I'M ABOUT-- I'M ABOUT TO TURN-- I'M ABOUT TO TURN 50,

  • YEAH.

  • >> Stephen: AND NOW, HOW LONG BEFORE YOU TURN 50?

  • DO YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT A SHOT AT CELEBRATING, LIKE, WITH AN

  • ACTUAL PARTY?

  • IT'S A BIG MILESTONE.

  • >> I GUESS IT'S-- I GUESS IT'S MAY 27.

  • >> Stephen: COULD BE.

  • >> I COULD GET THERE, I SUPPOSE.

  • I WAS-- I WAS QUITE ANXIOUS ABOUT IT, BUT THAT WAS LAST

  • YEAR, BECAUSE THE, YOU KNOW, LIFE PREPARES YOU FOR THESE

  • MOMENTS BY GIVING YOU SENIOR MOMENTS.

  • AND I THOUGHT I WAS TURNING 50 LAST YEAR.

  • LAUGH AND THEN I REALIZED I WASN'T, SO I ACTUALLY HAVE AN

  • EXTRA YEAR OF LIFE, WHICH IS GREAT!

  • >> Stephen: 49 IS A LITTLE YOUNG FOR A SENIOR MOMENT.

  • >> I DON'T KNOW.

  • I MEAN, MAYBE I WAS BURNING A CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS.

  • I DON'T KNOW.

  • >> Stephen: TOM HANKS TOLD A STORY ABOUT■ç YOU ON THE "GRAHAM

  • NORTON SHOW" ABOUT WHEN YOU WERE THE ALBINO ASSASSIN ON "THE DA

  • VINCI CODE."

  • DO YOU THINK THE STORY I'M TALKING ABOUT?

  • AND THAT YOU PUNCHED HIM IN THE STOMACH AND--

  • >> HE TOLD THE STORY OF ME MAKING HIM FART?

  • >> Stephen: I WANT TO KNOW IF THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

  • DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN?

  • >> YES, IT REALLY HAPPENED!

  • >> Stephen: PLEASE TELL THE PEOPLE-- TOM WAS FINE WITH

  • TELLING IT.

  • SO PLEASE, I WANT YOUR-- WAS THIS YOUR FIRST MOVIE?

  • >> IT WAS NOT MY FIRST MOVIE, BUT IT WAS MY FIRST SCENE WITH

  • TOM HANKS, THE BIGGEST MOVIE STAR IN THE WORLD.

  • >> Stephen: SURE.

  • >> AND I WAS VERY NERVOUS.

  • AND I CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S TOLD THIS STORY.

  • BUT NOW, LIKE THE SHACKLES ARE OFF.

  • YOU KNOW, I CAN-- I CAN TELL IT.

  • AND SO I-- I HAD TO GRAB HIM, AND I HAD TO PUNCH HIM IN THE

  • STOMACH.

  • AND IT'S VERY QUIET ON THE SET, RIGHT, BECAUSE THE SOUND AND

  • WHATEVER.

  • BUT IT'S ALWAYS MORE QUIET WHEN THERE'S A STUNT GOING ON BECAUSE

  • YOU'RE WORRIED SOMEBODY'S GOING TO GET HURT, SO EVERYBODY IS

  • LISTENING.

  • AND I PUNCHED HIM IN THE STOMACH, AND HE-- AND HE FARTED

  • REALLY, REALLY, REALLY LOUDLY EYE MEAN, BUT REALLY LOUDLY.

  • AND I-- I CAN'T-- I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THE FORM WAS.

  • LIKE, WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE BIGGEST MOVIE STAR IN THE WORLD

  • FARTS?

  • AND I KIND OF LOOKED AT HIM AND SAID, "WELL."

  • AND HE SAID, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU.

  • WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!

  • YOU JUST MADE ME FART."

  • I NEVER-- I NEVER REACHED THOSE HEIGHTS AGAIN.

  • >> Stephen: LET ME ASK YOU THIS: BECAUSE IT'S TOM HANKS WAS

  • THE FART REALLY RELATABLE.

  • >> IT'S AN EVERMAN FART.

  • >> Stephen: YOU'VE BEEN A BIG STAR FOR A LONG TIME NOW.

  • DO YOU REMEMBER THOSE EARLY, REALLY HARD AUDITIONS?

  • BECAUSE I-- I'M NO LONGER LIKE AN ACTOR, BUT I DID A MILLION OF

  • THEM MYSELF, AND THEY CAN BE ABSOLUTELY-- THE STRESS IS

  • CRUSHING.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: AND THEN SOMETIMES THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE TERRIBLE.

  • DO YOU REMEMBER PARTICULARLY HARD AUDITIONS WHEN YOU WERE A

  • YOUNG ACTOR?

  • >> YES, I DO.

  • AND THEY WERE ALL AWFUL.

  • AND I'M DYSLEXIC, SO I WORK REALLY HARD ON THEM.

  • AND THEN SOMETIMES, PEOPLE LIKE ROBERT DeNIRO, WOULD, LIKE,

  • MESS YOU AROUND AND THEY WOULD SAY, "HEY, COME AND AUDITION."

  • AND YOU WOULD PREPARE, AND THEN-- AND THEN THEY'D PUSH OFF

  • THE AUDITION DATE.

  • BUT I ALSO-- I HAD A BABY, AND SO I WAS GETTING, LIKE, MY WIFE

  • WAS WORKING.

  • >> Stephen: JENNIFER CONNOLLY.

  • >> YEAH, AND I WAS GETTING, YOU KNOW, PEOPLE TO COME IN AND LOOK

  • AFTER THE KID WHILE I WENT TO DO THE AUDITION.

  • AND THEN HE WOULD, AT THE LAST MINUTE, HE WOULD-- HE WOULD

  • RESCHEDULE.

  • SO FINALLY WHAT I DID WAS I JUST WORE MY BABY, AND I SHOWED UP.

  • >> Stephen: HOW DID IT GO?

  • >> NOT VERY WELL.

  • ( LAUGHTER ) HE GAVE THE JOB TO MATT DAMON,

  • AND I GUESS MATT DAMON EYE SAW THE FILM.

  • HE PLAYED IT WITHOUT A BABY, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS WEIRD.

  • >> Stephen: IT'S AN EASY CHOICE.

  • IT'S A LAZY CHOICE, REALLY.

  • >> REALLY LAZY CHOICE.

  • >> Stephen: I WANT TO TALK ABOUT JARVIS AND VISION, WHEN

  • YOU FIRST, LIKE SAW WHAT VISION NEEDED TO LOOK LIKE, WERE YOU

  • SAYING TO YOURSELF, "GOD, GOD, PLEASE LET ME HAVE A GOOD BALD

  • HEAD?" BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO HAVE A

  • REALLY GOOD-SHAPED HEAD, LIKE A REALLY NICE, SYMMETRICAL HEAD.

  • DID YOU HAVE ANY DOUBTS THAT YOU COULD PULL OFF THE UNIFORM?

  • >> YES, I DID.

  • I THOUGHT THEY MIGHT HELP ME OUT WITH C.G., BUT IT TURNED OUT MY

  • BALT HEAD IS MY BEST FEATURE.

  • I'M LOOKING TO MY DOTAGE WITH, YOU KNOW, A LITTLE-- A LITTLE

  • OPTIMISM.

  • >> Stephen: WHAT ABOUT THE EARS?

  • BECAUSE THEY'RE COVERED UP.

  • I HATE PEOPLE TOUCHING MY EARS.

  • HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE CUPS?

  • >> THAT'S SWEET OF YOU-- I WAS SAYING THIS TO YOUR PRODUCER.

  • I WAS SAYING THAT'S SO THOUGHTFUL OF HIM BECAUSE IT WAS

  • REALLY, REALLY PAINFUL.

  • IT'S FUN.

  • THEY'RE CLHSED OFF AND IT'S FINE.

  • AND THEN AFTER DAY TWO, IT BEGINS TO REALLY HURT.

  • SO THEN THEY MADE-- AND YOU CAN'T HEAR ANYBODY, WHICH IS

  • GREAT IF YOU'VE GOT, LIKE, A TERRIBLE DIRECTOR OR WHATEVER,

  • AND YOU JUST -- >> Stephen: SURE SURE, YEAH.

  • >> BUT THEN THEY POPPED OFF, AND NOW THEY JUST-- THEY JUST LEAVE

  • THEM OUT, AND THEY TAKE THEM OUT DIGITALLY.

  • >> Stephen: YOU'RE KIDDING.

  • SO IF I SAW YOU ON SET IT WOULD BE ALL VISION BUT THEN JUST...

  • >> THESE THINGS ARE HERE LIKE THIS, AND THEY SPEND LOTS AND

  • LOTS OF MONEY TAKING THESE OUT.

  • >> Stephen: NOW, EVERYBODY IN THE MARVEL UNIVERSE, OBVIOUSLY

  • ALL THE ACTORS, HAVE TO, LIKE, BASICALLY HAVE A SPOILER LOCK

  • BOX OVER THEIR MOUTH.

  • THEY CAN'T EVER GIVE ANYTHING AWAY.

  • I'M NOT GOING TO TRY TO, LIKE, MINE YOU FOR INFORMATION.

  • WHAT I WANT TO KNOW, IS THE SAME QUESTION I ASKED ROBERT DOWNEY

  • JR., ARE YOU GOOD AT KEEPING SECRETS?

  • >> I'M KIND OF-- I'M KIND OF GIFTED AT THAT, YES.

  • IT'S-- IT'S IT'S A STRONG SUIT OF MINE.

  • MY DAD WAS-- I COME FROM A THEATRICAL FAMILY.

  • MY DAD WAS ALWAYS LIKE, "YOU NEVER LET THE AUDIENCE SEE YOU

  • IN YOUR COSTUME AND YOUR MAKEUP BEFORE THE CURTAIN OPENS."

  • SO I SORT OF HAD THAT THING IN-- I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW THE

  • MAGIC TRICK IS DONE.

  • I DON'T LIKE DEG E.P.K., AND I DON'T LIKE EYE DON'T LIKE ANY OF

  • THAT BEHIND-THE-SCENES STUFF.

  • I WOULD RATHER IT WAS ALL JUST THE MAGIC TRICK AND NONE OF THE

  • WORKINGS!

  • >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, BUT WE'LL BE BACK

  • WITH MORE OF VISION HIMSELF, PAUL BETTANY.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, WELCOME BACK,

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