I DON'T LIKE THE COLD.

我不喜歡冷。

REGGIE, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF WEATHER?

雷吉，你最喜歡什麼天氣？

>> I DON'T MIND IT, PUTTING ON A COUPLE OF SWEATERS.

>> 我不介意，穿上幾件運動褲。

>> James: HOW ABOUT THE WEIGHT LOSS?

>> 詹姆斯。 怎麼樣的體重損失？

>> Reggie: I USED TO BE A SHORTS GUY IN ANY SORT OF

>> 雷吉：我曾經是一個短褲的傢伙在任何類型的。

WEATHER GUY.

天氣傢伙：

>> James: LIKE HOW WAS HE WEARING A PAIR OF SHORTS IN THIS

>> 詹姆斯。 就像他是如何穿一雙短褲在這個

>> Reggie: LIKE A MEATBALL FALLING OUT OF THE SANDWICH.

>> 就像一個肉球從沙丁魚裡掉出來一樣。

>> James: YOU DON'T COME HERE FOR THE WEATHER, YOU COME HERE

>> 詹姆斯。 你不是為天氣而來，你是來這裡的。

FOR NEWS.

對於新聞：

YOU COME HERE FOR HARD FACTS AND DAMMIT, THAT'S WHAT WE'RE

你們來這裡是為了瞭解事實，而該死的，這就是我們的目的。

GOING TO GIVE THEM.

要給他們。

THE VOTE ON PRESIDENT BIDEN'S COVID RELIEF BILL HAS BEEN

對比登主席的《退稅法案》的表決已經開始。

DELAYED IN THE SENATE, AND IT LOOKS LIKE IT COULD BE DELAYED

在參議院被延後，而且看起來可能會被延後。

EVEN LONGER.

甚至更長的時間。

REPUBLICAN RON JOHNSON IS PLANNING TO FORCE A READING OF

共和黨人羅恩-約翰遜正計劃強行宣讀《中華人民共和國憲法》。

THE ENTIRE 600-PAGE BILL ON THE SENATE FLOOR, WHICH WOULD TAKE

全部600頁的法案在參議院的會議上，這將需要

TEN HOURS.

十小時

I'M GOING TO WAIT UNTIL IT'S ADAPTED ON NETFLIX.

我要等它在NETFLIX上被改編後再看。

I'LL WATCH IT THEN, YOU KNOW?

我到時再看，你知道嗎？

THE 600-PAGE BILL WILL BE READ ALOUD IN THE SENATE, FOR TEN

600頁的法案將在參議院大聲朗讀，為期10天。

HOURS.

小時。

THIS IS THE POLITICAL EQUIVALENT OF MAKING SOMEONE COME TO YOUR

這在政治上相當於讓別人來你的

IMPROV SHOW.

完善節目。

"OKAY, I'M GOING TO NEED THE NAME OF A CITY?

"好吧，我需要一個城市的名字?

AND AN OCCUPATION?" WHAT HAVE YOU GOT?

和職業？"你有什麼？

HE'S PLANNING TO FORCE A READING OF THE ENTIRE BILL OUT LOUD.

他打算強行大聲朗讀整部法案。

IF YOU ASK ME, RON JOHNSON IS ACTING LIKE A REAL RON JOHNSON.

如果你問我，隆-約翰遜表現得像一個真正的隆-約翰遜。

IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH RON JOHNSON, HE IS WHAT HAPPENED

如果你不熟悉羅恩-約翰遜，他就是發生的事情。

IF YOU'RE NOT FAMILIAR WITH RON JOHNSON, HE IS WHAT HAPPENED

如果你不熟悉羅恩-約翰遜，他就是發生的事情。

WHEN AN EXPERIMENT TO CLONE MIKE PENCE WENT WRONG.

當克隆邁克-彭斯的實驗出了問題：

IN OTHER WHITE HOUSE NEWS, PRESIDENT BIDEN'S CABINET IS

在白宮的其他新聞中，比登總統的內閣是。

TAKING SHAPE-- BUT IT'S COMING TOGETHER MORE SLOWLY THAN ANY

正在成形--但它比以往任何時候都要慢一些

ADMINISTRATION IN MODERN HISTORY.

近代史上的行政管理。

CURRENTLY, BIDEN'S CABINET IS HALF EMPTY.

目前，比登的櫃子已經空了一半。

ALTHOUGH, I PREFER TO LOOK AT IT AS "HALF FULL."

雖然，我更喜歡把它看作是 "半滿"。

I DON'T KNOW WHAT PEOPLE EXPECTED.

我不知道人們期待的是什麼。

THE MAN FIRST RAN FOR PRESIDENT IN 1988, AND DIDN'T WIN UNTIL

這個人在1988年第一次競選總統，並沒有贏，直到。

2020.

2020.

SPEED'S NEVER REALLY BEEN HIS THING.

速度從來都不是他的專長。

PLUS, BIDEN IS 78 YEARS OLD.

另外，比登已經78歲了。

USUALLY WHEN HE FILLS A CABINET, IT'S WITH CUTE LITTLE FIGURINES

通常當他把櫃子裝滿的時候，都是用可愛的小玩偶裝的

HE PAINTED IN A CERAMICS CLASS.

他在陶瓷課上畫了畫。

MOVING ON TO THE COVID FRONT WE THOUGHT THIS WAS INTERESTING.

移動到COVID前面，我們認為這是有趣的。

IN ORDER TO PROTECT VACCINES FROM BEING STOLEN, SHIPPING

為防止疫苗被盜，運輸過程中

COMPANIES ARE NOW USING "JAMES BOND-LEVEL" SECURITY MEASURES,

目前，各公司都在使用 "JAMES BOND-LEVEL "安全衡量標準。

INCLUDING PANIC BUTTONS, KILL SWITCHES, AND UNDERCOVER GUARDS.

包括緊急按鈕、殺戮開關和暗衛。

"THE NAME'S JOHNSON.

"我的名字叫約翰遜。

JOHNSON -- I DON'T KNOW WHY I PUT AN AMERICAN AK SINT.

約翰遜 - 我不知道為什麼我把一個美國AK SINT。

WE'RE DOING BOND, IN CASE YOU DIDN'T -- WHY NOT DO THAT?

我們正在做債券，如果你不知道 - 為什麼不這樣做？

THE MOST ICONIC BRITISH CHARACTER OUTSIDE OF PADDINGTON.

最具代表性的英國人物在PADDINGTON之外。

>> BECAUSE YOU WERE ABOUT TO DO JOHNSON YOU TIPPED BACK TO --

>> 因為你要做約翰遜，你又回到了... ...

>> James: I.TIPPED BACK TO RON JOHNSON, VERY ASTUTE

>> 詹姆斯。 I.TIPPED BACK TO RON JOHNSON, VERY ASTUTE(很尖銳)

GUILLERMO.

GUILLERMO：

WHO DO YOU THINK THE NEXT BOND WILL BE?

你覺得下一個邦德會是誰？

IF YOU GOT TO PUT SOMEBODY'S NAME ON IT WHAT COULD IT BE?

如果你要在上面寫上一個人的名字，那會是什麼？

>> Reggie: I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE IDRIS.

>> 我覺得可能是IDRIS。

IT'S A HARD ONE.

這是一個艱難的問題。

YEAH HOW ABOUT A BRITISH MAN?

是啊，一個英國人怎麼樣？

>> HE'S ALMOST TOO BEAUTIFUL TO BE A BOND.

>> 他太美了，不能當邦德。

HE'S SO GORGEOUS I FEEL BAD ENOUGH TO GET BEAT UP BUT IF

他是如此的華麗，我覺得很糟糕，足以得到毆打，但如果。

IT'S BY A GUY THAT GOOD LOOKING, HE DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL ANYBODY,

這是個帥哥乾的，他不需要殺任何人。

THEY WOULD DO IT THEMSELVES.

他們會做他們自己。

YEAH HE DOESN'T HAVE THE EYES OF A KILLER.

是的，他沒有殺手的眼睛。

>> DANIEL CRAIG IS HOT DON'T GET ME WRONG --

>> 丹尼爾-克雷格是熱不要誤會我的意思 -

>> James: BUT HE COULD BE AN UBER DRIVER.

>> 詹姆斯。 但他可能是一個UBER司機。

THREE WRONG CHOICES YOU'RE LIKE I'L TIP HIM 20%, HE WAS PRETTY

三次錯誤的選擇，你想我給他20%的小費，他很不錯的

HOT!

熱！

(LAUGHTER) >> James: I'M ALWAYS SHOCKED

(笑)>> 詹姆斯。 我總是感到震驚

IN BOND WHEN HE SAYS THE NAME BOND, JAMES BOND, THAT NOBODY

在《邦德》中，當他說出 "邦德 "這個名字，詹姆斯-邦德的時候，沒有人知道。

GOES OH, FROM THE FILMS?

去哦，從電影？

NOT ONE CHARACTER, NOT ONE CHARACTER IN BOND HAS WATCHED A

沒有一個角色，沒有一個角色在邦德中看了一個

BOND MOVIE!

BOND MOVIE！

I'M CONSTANTLY AMAZED.

我一直都很驚訝。

OH MY GOD FROM THEIR FILMS, BASED ON THE IAN FLEMING FILMS.

哦，我的上帝，從他們的電影， 根據伊安・弗萊明電影。

BACK TO THE ORIGINAL SHOW, THE NAME IS JOHNSON JOHNSON &

回到最初的節目，名字叫JOHNSON JOHNSON & JOHNSON。

JOHNSON.

JOHNSON：

THE VACCINE IS EXACTLY LIKE THE UPCOMING JAMES BOND MOVIE...

疫苗就像即將上映的《007》電影一樣...

BECAUSE BOTH HAVE BEEN DELAYED MULTIPLE TIMES, AND I'M GETTING

因為兩者都被拖延了好幾次，而我卻得到了。

PRETTY FRUSTRATED BY IT.

非常緊張的它。

IN FACT, THIS WHOLE THING HAS ALREADY INSPIRED THE NEXT BOND

事實上，這件事已經激發了下一部《邦德》的靈感

FILM...

電影...

"GOLD-PFIZER."

"金鳳凰"。

SHOULD WE PUT TOGETHER A CREW FOR A HEIST TO TRY TO GET THESE

我們要不要召集一隊人馬去偷東西，去拿這些東西？

VACCINES LIKE THEY'RE SHIPPING AROUND?

疫苗就像他們運來的一樣？

>> OH YEAH.

>> 哦，是的。

>> James: I THINK WE GOT A GOOD CREW HERE.

>> 詹姆斯。 我想我們這裡有一個好的團隊。

WHAT IS THE GREASE-MAN?

什麼是黃油工？

YOU'RE THE GREASE-MAN RIGHT?

你是油脂人，對吧？

>> THIS IS AN ENGLISH THING I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

>> 這是一個英文的東西，我不明白。

>> James: THE GREASE MAN, YOU GET IN AMONGST IT.

>> 詹姆斯： 油脂人，你得到在其中。

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT EITHER, I THOUGHT IT WAS AN AMERICAN

我也不明白，我還以為是美國人呢

THING.

事情。

AS I LOOK AROUND THE ROOM -- I'M LESS CONFIDENT IN OUR ABILITIES.

當我環顧四周時... 我對我們的能力沒有信心了。

>> WAIT, WHAT ARE THE POSITIONS?

>> 等等，這些位置是什麼？

WHAT ARE THE POSITIONS?

有哪些職位？

THERE IS A FIXER.

有一個修復器。

YOU NEED A FIXER TOO.

你也需要一個修補器。

>> James: I THINK -- >> DRIVER.

>> 詹姆斯。 我想 -- >> 司機：

I'LL BE A DREFER.

我將是一個參考。

>> James: YOU BE A DRIVER, REGGIE IS A DRIVER.

>> 詹姆斯 你是一個司機，REGGIE是一個司機。

AGAR IS THE TEMPTRESS.

阿加是女妖。

AND AGAR, IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY TOMORROW?

還有AGAR，明天就是你的生日了？

>> IT'S SATURDAY.

>> 今天是星期六。

>> James: SATURDAY?

>> 詹姆斯。 週六？

THEN FORGET IT.

那就忘了它吧。

AND DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?

你們看到這個了嗎？

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR SATURDAY.

生日快樂的星期六。

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR SATURDAY.

生日快樂的星期六。

>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAGAR YOU'RE THE LOVELIEST.

>> 生日快樂，哈格，你是最可愛的。

>> James: SO DID YOU GUYS SEE THIS?

>> 詹姆斯。 所以，你們看到這個？

A GROUP OF GREAT APES AT THE SAN DIEGO ZOO HAVE BECOME THE

聖地亞哥動物園的一群大猩猩已經成為聖地亞哥動物園的 "大猩猩"。

VERY FIRST NON-HUMANS TO GET THE COVID VACCINE SHOT.

第一批非人類接受COVID疫苗注射。

GOOD TO KNOW WHERE YOU RANK, ISN'T IT?

很高興知道自己的排名，不是嗎？

(LAUGHTER) >> James: GOOD TO KNOW ON THE

(笑)>> 詹姆斯： 很高興知道在

LIST OF SPECIES WE CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT, HOW FAR AWAY FROM THE

我們不能缺少的物種清單，離我們的生活還有多遠？

GROUP OF APES THE AT THE SAN DIEGO ZOO.

猿群在聖地亞哥動物園。

THE VACCINE WAS GIVEN TO SEVERAL GREAT APES, PLUS A COUPLE OF

疫苗給了許多大猩猩，還有幾隻大猩猩。

GOOD APES, AND THEN ONE APE WHO WAS JUST SORT OF OKAY.

優秀的猿猴，還有一隻還算不錯的猿猴。

AND-- THIS IS TRUE-- ONE OF THE APES IS AN ORANGUTAN NAMED

而且... ... 這是真的... ... 其中一隻猿猴是一個叫 "猩猩 "的猩猩。

KAREN.

KAREN：

SHE WASN'T ORIGINALLY SUPPOSED TO RECEIVE THE VACCINE...

她原本不應該接受疫苗... ...

SHE JUST COMPLAINED TO THE ZOO'S MANAGER UNTIL SHE FINALLY GOT

她只是向動物園的經理抱怨，直到她終於得到了。

HER WAY.

她的方式。

AND IN INTERNATIONAL NEWS, VISITORS TO CHINA ARE ANGRY

在國際新聞中，訪問中國的遊客都很憤怒。

BECAUSE EVERYONE COMING INTO THE COUNTRY IS NOW REQUIRED TO TAKE

因為現在所有進入我國的人都必須參加：

CHINA'S VERSION OF A COVID TEST, WHICH IS ADMINISTERED BY ANAL

中國版的COVID測試，由ANAL管理。

SWAB.

SWAB：

CHINA SAYS IT'S MORE ACCURATE.

中國說它更準確。

OTHERS SAY IT ISN'T.

其他人說這不是。

SOMEONE SHOULD REALLY GET TO THE...

應該有人去找...

BOTTOM OF THIS.

底部的這個。

THERE SHOULD BE SOME SORT OF PROBE INTO THIS!

應該有一些調查的這！

VISITORS TO CHINA SAY THEY ARE BEING PRESSURED TO TAKE THE ANAL

來中國的遊客說他們受到了壓力，被迫接受安檢。

VERSION.

版本：

CHINESE OFFICIALS JUST KEEP TELLING THEM, "COME ON, IT'S MY

中國官員一直告訴他們，"來吧，這是我的"。

BIRTHDAY!

生日！

(LAUGHTER) >> James: LET'S TRY IT ONCE.

(笑)>>詹姆斯。 讓我們嘗試一次。

AND LOOK AT THE INSTRUCTIONAL GRAPHIC THAT GOES ALONG WITH THE

請看與之配套的教學圖解。

TEST.

測試：

LOOK AT THAT!

看看這個！

THAT WAS SOMEONE'S JOB TO MAKE THAT!

那是某人的工作，使之成為！

SOMEONE SITTING AT HOME DRAWING THAT.

有人坐在家裡畫的。

LIKE IS DINNER READY?

喜歡是晚餐準備好了嗎？

NO, I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.

不，我馬上就到了。

I CAN'T GET THIS BUTT SWAB RIGHT.

我不能得到這個屁股拭子的權利。

AND, THIS IS EXCITING-- THE MAKER OF A SUPERSONIC JET WHICH

而且，這是令人振奮的--超音速噴氣機的製造者，其

WILL BE ABLE TO FLY FROM LONDON TO NEW YORK IN 90 MINUTES, HAS

將能在90分鐘內從倫敦飛往紐約，已於2012年6月30日在紐約舉行了盛大的婚禮。

JUST REVEALED WHAT THE INSIDE OF THE JET WILL LOOK LIKE.

剛剛公佈了噴氣機內部的樣子。

HERE IT IS.

在這裡，它是。

LOOK AT THAT.

看看這個。

IT LOOKS GORGEOUS.

它看起來很華麗。

THE FIRST PASSENGERS WILL BE THE GREAT APES FROM THE SAN DIEGO

首批遊客將是來自聖地亞哥的大猩猩。

ZOO.

ZOO。

NOT TO BE OUTDONE.

不會被淘汰。

SPIRIT AIRLINES JUST ANNOUNCED THEY CAN NOW GET YOU FROM L.A.

精靈航空剛剛宣佈，現在可以讓你從洛杉磯出發。

TO SAN DIEGO IN JUST UNDER SEVEN HOURS.

到聖地亞哥只需不到7個小時。

UNLESS IT'S A HOLIDAY.

除非它是一個假期。

THEN IT'S 11, WITH ONE STOP.

然後是11點，還有一站。

AND FINALLY, WE WANTED TO SHOW YOU THIS-- BECAUSE IT'S IN OUR

最後，我們想給你看這個--因為它在我們的。

MISSION STATEMENT.

任務說明：

AN INFECTIOUS DISEASE EXPERT AT HARVARD UNIVERSITY RECENTLY

哈佛大學的一位傳染病專家最近。

TWEETED A PHOTO OF JOHNSON & JOHNSON'S VACCINE EFFECTIVENESS,

在微博上發了一張JOHNSON & JOHNSON的疫苗效果圖。

AND IT LOOKED LIKE-- WELL, SEE FOR YOURSELVES.

它看起來像 -- 好吧，你自己看吧。

LOOK AT THOSE NUMBERS.

看看這些數字。

YOU CAN TELL JOHNSON & JOHNSON IS EXCITED.

你可以告訴約翰遜和約翰遜很興奮。

COME ON GUYS, YOUR VACCINE WAS SUPPOSED TO FLATTEN THE CURVE.

來吧夥計們，你的疫苗被認為是 曲線拉平。

HERE'S THE THING: IS THIS NEWS?

事情是這樣的：這是新聞嗎？

NOT REALLY.

不是真的。

DO WE ENJOY LOOKING FOR NEW WAYS TO UNDERMINE CBS CENSORS ON A

我們是否樂於尋找新的方法來破壞哥倫比亞廣播公司的監督員在一個。

NIGHTLY BASIS?

夜間基地？

WE'LL LET YOU BE THE JUDGE.

我們會讓你做裁判。