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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

    >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

  • WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

    歡迎回到 "深夜秀"。

  • I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.

    我是你的主持人STEPHEN COLBERT。

  • WE'RE EXCITED TO SEE YOU.

    我們很高興見到你。

  • AS ISAID, WELCOME BACK.

    AS ISAID,歡迎回來。

  • A WEEKEND IS TOO LONG TO BE AWAY FROM YOU.

    離開你的週末太長了。

  • WE'RE GOING TO KICK RIGHT OFF WITH THE ONLY STORY THAT MATTERS

    我們將以唯一重要的故事為開場白

  • TONIGHT, AND THAT'S WHAT'S ON TV NEXT SUNDAY.

    今晚,這就是下週日的電視。

  • BECAUSE MY CBS COLLEAGUE OPRAH WINFREY HAS RELEASED A TEASER OF

    因為我的哥倫比亞廣播公司的同事OPRAH WINFREY已經發布了一個TEASER的

  • NEXT WEEK'S BLOCKBUSTER INTERVIEW WITH PRINCE HARRY AND

    下週的BLOCKBUSTER採訪哈里王子和...

  • MEGHAN MARKLE.

    MEGHAN MARKLE:

  • OH, MY GOD.

    哦,我的上帝。

  • I CAN'T BELIEVE ACTUAL ROYALTY IS GOING TO TALK TO HARRY AND

    我不敢相信真正的皇室要去跟哈里和...

  • MEGHAN.

    MEGHAN.

  • MR. AND MRS. SUSSEX ARE UNDENIABLY EVERYONE'S FAVORITE

    先生和夫人。和Mrs.SUSSEX無疑是大家最喜歡的。

  • ROYALS.

    王室成員:

  • RIGHT AFTER THE QUEEN, KATE MIDDLETON, AND THE DUKE OF

    女王、凱特-米德萊頓和公爵的右後衛。

  • HASTINGS FROM THE WAIST DOWN.

    HASTINGS從腰部以下。

  • MMM!

    MMM!

  • MMM!

    MMM!

  • GOD, I HOPE THAT'S A BLUR.

    上帝,我希望這是一個模糊的。

  • HE SHOULD SEE A DOCTOR.

    他應該去看醫生。

  • THIS INTERVIEW IS ALL ANYONE CAN TALK ABOUT.

    這個採訪是所有人都可以談論的。

  • EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT, BECAUSE THE SHOW

    即使沒有什麼好談的,因為節目中

  • WON'T AIR UNTIL SUNDAY 8:00 P.M.

    直到週日晚上8點才會播出。

  • EASTERN, 7:00 CENTRAL ON YOUR LOCAL CBS STATION.

    東部,7: 00中央在你當地的CBS電視臺。

  • SMOOTH.

    順利。

  • ( LAUGHTER ) BUT STILL, THE ANTICIPATION IS

    (笑)但是,仍然,預測是

  • WILD.

    WILD:

  • FOR 24 HOURS, THIS INTERVIEW WAS THE TOP OF "THE DRUDGE REPORT."

    24小時,這個採訪是頂部 "吸毒者報告"。

  • NORMALLY, TO MAKE IT THAT HIGH ON "DRUDGE," YOU GOT TO BE AN AD

    通常情況下,要想在 "毒品 "上取得那麼高的成績,你必須是一個AD。

  • PROMISING ONE WEIRD TRICK TO SHRINK YOUR ENLARGED PROSTATE.

    承諾一個奇怪的技巧來縮小你的前列腺增生。

  • OR A TACTICAL VEST... FOR YOUR ENLARGED PROSTATE.

    或戰術背心......。為您的前列腺增生。

  • WHAT DID THEY TALK ABOUT?

    他們談了什麼?

  • FROM THE TEASER, IT'S A LITTLE HARD TO TELL:

    從預告片來看,有點難以啟齒。

  • >> WERE YOU SILENT OR WERE YOU SILENCED?

    >> 你是沉默的還是被沉默的?

  • >> I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO EVERYBODY THAT THERE IS NO

    >> 我只是想讓大家清楚,沒有

  • SUBJECT THAT'S OFF LIMITS.

    題目,是關閉限制。

  • >> YOU'VE SAID SOME PRETTY SHOCKING THINGS HERE.

    >> 你說了一些非常令人震驚的事情。

  • >> WAIT, HOLD-- HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE.

    >> 等待,等待 -- 等待,等待一分鐘。

  • >> STEPHEN: WOW, WHATEVER THEY SAID, AND IT IS UNKNOWABLE, IT

    >> 不管他們說了什麼,都是不可知的。

  • STUNNED OPRAH.

    震驚的OPRAH。

  • IT'S EITHER SOME REALLY JUICY DISH, OR SHE ASKED FOR SPARKLING

    要麼是一些真正的美味佳餚,要麼是她要求閃閃發光

  • WATER AND THEY BROUGHT HER STILL.

    水,他們仍然把她帶到。

  • BUT YOU HEARD HER: NO SUBJECT WAS OFF LIMITS.

    但你聽到她說:"沒有主題是不受限制的。

  • WHICH I HOPE MEANS THE FIRST HOUR IS HOT GOSS ON THE CAST OF

    我希望這意味著,第一時間是熱的GOSS的演員,

  • "SUITS."

    "西裝。"

  • IS GABRIEL MACHT A DIVA?

    GABRIEL MACHT是天后嗎?

  • ALSO, WHO IS GABRIEL MACHT?

    另外,誰是GABRIEL MACHT?

  • I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SHOW.

    我還沒看過這個節目。

  • HEAR GOOD THINGS.

    聽到好的東西。

  • WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?

    到底發生了什麼?

  • WHAT DO WE HAVE?

    我們有什麼?

  • OH, WE HAVE THE THING.

    哦,我們有這個東西。

  • C-PAC.

    C-PAC:

  • THIS WEEKEND WAS THE ANNUAL CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL ACTION

    本週末是一年一度的 "保守派政治行動"。

  • CONFERENCE, BILLED AS "THE LARGEST AND MOST INFLUENTIAL

    會議,被稱為 "最大和最有影響力的會議"。

  • GATHERING OF CONSERVATIVES IN THE WORLD."

    召集世界上的公民。"

  • THAT'S IF YOU DON'T COUNT THEIR LAST GATHERING.

    如果你不計算他們最後一次聚會的話。

  • THIS WEEKEND'S LINEUP INCLUDED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO SPREAD THE

    本週末的陣容中,有很多人都在散播 "我是歌手 "的資訊。

  • BIG LIE THAT LED TO THE INSURRECTION, LIKE TEXAS SENATOR

    導致保險的大謊言,如德州參議員。

  • TED CRUZ, MISSOURI SENATOR JOSH HAWLEY, AND ARIZONA

    特德-克魯茲、密蘇里州參議員喬什-霍利和亞利桑那州參議員。

  • REPRESENTATIVE PAUL GOSAR.

    PAUL GOSAR代表:

  • IT WAS A MURDERER'S ROW OF PEOPLE WHO ALMOST GOT MIKE PENCE

    是一群殺人犯差點害死了邁克-彭斯。

  • MURDERED.

    謀殺。

  • BEFORE THE SPEAKERS EVEN OPENED THEIR MOUTHS, CPAC GOT OFF TO A

    在演講者開口之前,CPAC就已經開始了。

  • ROUGH START, BECAUSE EAGLE-EYED TWITTER USERS POINTED OUT THAT

    艱難的開始,因為有眼尖的微博用戶指出

  • THE CONVENTION STAGE WAS IN THE SHAPE OF AN ODAL RUNE, WHICH IS

    大會舞臺呈橢圓形運行,這就是所謂的:"我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說。

  • A SYMBOL USED ON SOME NAZI UNIFORMS.

    一些納粹制服上使用的符號。

  • OKAY, HOW MUCH RESEMBLANCE ARE WE TALKING HERE?

    好吧,我們在這裡談的是多少象徵性的東西?

  • THIS IS THE SHAPE OF THE STAGE, AND HERE IS THE S.S. UNIFORM

    這是舞臺的形狀,這裡是S.S.的制服。

  • WITH THE ODAL RUNE-- HOLY HIMMLER!

    隨著ODAL RUNE -- 神聖的HIMMLER!

  • NOW, SOME PEOPLE SAY THEY DON'T SEE IT, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT

    現在,有些人說他們沒有看到,但當你看到的是

  • THEM SIDE BY SIDE, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO "NAZI" IT.

    它們並排在一起,這有點難以 "納粹 "它。

  • FASCIST SYMBOLISM ASIDE, ONE OF THE STUPIDEST MOMENTS OF THE

    撇開法西斯主義符號不談,這是最愚蠢的時刻之一。

  • ENTIRE STUPID WEEKEND CAME FROM TEXAS SENATOR AND

    整個愚蠢的週末來自於德州參議員和。

  • WATER-LOGGED CORPSE OF THE NOTRE DAME LEPRECHAUN, TED CRUZ.

    聖母院萊普雷克肖恩的屍體被水淹沒,泰德-克魯茲。

  • CRUZ CAREFULLY EXPLAINED THE STAKES OF OUR NATIONAL CONFLICT

    克魯茲小心翼翼地解釋了我們國家衝突的風險。

  • WITH AN EASY TO FOLLOW ANALOGY.

    用簡單易行的分析方法。

  • >> THE MEDIA HERE LOOKS AT THE MEN AND WOMEN GATHERED HERE, AT

    >>這裡的媒體看著這裡聚集的男男女女,在這裡,在

  • THE YOUNG PEOPLE GATHERED HERE, AS DANGEROUS RADICALS.

    年輕人聚集在這裡,作為危險的輻射。

  • THIS IS THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND VADER AND THE EMPEROR, AND LET'S

    這是叛軍聯盟和VADER和皇帝,讓我們。

  • BE CLEAR, THEY'RE NOT YOUR FATHER, ARE TERRIFIED OF THE

    說清楚,他們不是你的父親,是怕你的父親。

  • REBELS WHO ARE HERE.

    這裡的反叛者:

  • WE AREN'T THE BORG ENFORCING, OKAY, I MAY HAVE COMMITTED A

    我們不是BORG執法,好吧,我可能已經犯了一個。

  • CARDINAL SIN, MIXING "STAR WARS" AND "STAR TREK."

    CARDINAL SIN, MIXING "STAR WARS" AND "STAR TREK".

  • NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GOING TO CROSS THE STREAMS AND

    接下來,你會發現,你會越過河流和

  • THE STAY-PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN IS GOING TO COME.

    留守的馬什馬洛人要來了。

  • >> STEPHEN: (AS CRUZ) "STAY WITH ME HERE... WE'RE

    >> "在這裡陪著我...我們是

  • DOCTOR WHO, BUT NOT THE LADY ONE, AND WE'VE GOT ALL THE

    "世衛醫生",但不是 "女醫生",我們已經得到了所有的。

  • INFINITY STONES EXCEPT FOR THE SORCERER'S STONE WHICH IS STILL

    無盡之石,除了巫師之石,它仍然是。

  • AT HOGWARTS IN THAT WARDROBE WITH THE WITCH AND THE LION, WHO

    在霍格沃茨的那個衣櫃裡,有巫婆和獅子,他們...

  • IS NOT.

    是不。

  • MY.

    我的。

  • DAD."

    DAD."

  • CRUZ WRAPPED UP HIS SPEECH, MAKING ONE THING CLEAR: HE KNOWS

    克魯茲結束了他的演講,明確了一件事:他知道。

  • EVEN MORE MOVIE REFERENCES: >> IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF

    更多電影參考資料。>> 《不朽的箴言》:

  • WILLIAM WALLACE, "FREEDOM!" >> STEPHEN: CONSIDERING THE

    威廉-沃利斯,"自由!">> 考慮到

  • SHAPE OF THAT STAGE, I BET HE WASN'T THE ONLY PERSON AT CPAC

    舞臺的形狀,我想他不是唯一一個在CPAC的人。

  • QUOTING MEL GIBSON.

    引用MEL GIBSON的話:

  • THE HEADLINER OF THE WEEKEND WAS THE FORMER PRESIDENT.

    週末的頭條新聞是前總統。

  • HIS SPEECH WAS PRETTY LIGHT ON SUBSTANCE AND ENERGY, BUT THERE

    他的演講非常輕描淡寫地談到了物質和能量,但是有

  • WAS ONE MAJOR REVELATION: HE TOLD THE AUDIENCE THAT HE WOULD

    有一個重大的啟示:他告訴聽眾,他將會

  • NOT START A THIRD PARTY.

    不啟動第三方。

  • OF COURSE HE ISN'T GOING TO START A NEW POLITICAL PARTY.

    當然,他不會開始一個新的政治黨派。

  • HE ALREADY OWNS ONE!

    他已經擁有了一個!

  • THESE PEOPLE WORSHIP THE GROUND HE WALKS ON.

    這些人崇拜他所走過的土地。

  • LITERALLY.

    字面意思是:

  • THE BIGGEST ATTRACTION AT CPAC WAS THE GIANT GOLDEN STATUE OF

    CPAC上最大的吸引力是巨大的金字塔。

  • HIM.

    他:

  • NOTHING SAYS THE PARTY OF CHRISTIAN VALUES LIKE

    沒有什麼能比得上基督教價值觀的政黨。

  • WORSHIPPING A GOLDEN IDOL.

    崇拜一個金色的偶像。

  • AND IT'S AN OLD TESTAMENT TWO-FER, 'CAUSE HE'LL ALSO COVET

    而且是舊約的兩面派,因為他也會貪汙。

  • YOUR WIFE, NEIGHBOR.

    你的妻子,鄰居。

  • NOW, HE SAID A LOT OF THINGS AND SOME OF IT WAS STUPID, AND THE

    現在,他說了很多話,有些話是愚蠢的,而且... ...

  • REST WAS DANGEROUS.

    休息是危險的。

  • BUT I'M NOT GOING TO PLAY ANY OF THE CLIPS, BECAUSE THE COUNTRY

    但我不會播放任何片段,因為國家。

  • NEEDS TO MOVE ON AND, FRANKLY, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.

    需要繼續前進,而且,老實說,我不在乎了。

  • >> STEPHEN... STEPHEN...

    >> 史蒂芬...史蒂芬...

  • >> Stephen: JIMMY, WHAT'S THAT?

    >> JIMMY,那是什麼?

  • >> COME ON, STEPHEN, IT'S ME, YOUR FAVORITE FORMER PRESIDENT

    >> 來吧,斯蒂芬,是我,你最喜歡的前總統。

  • WHOSE NAME YOU WON'T SAY.

    你不願意說的名字。

  • >> STEPHEN: PLEASE LEAVE.

    >> 請離開。

  • >> DON'T YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME?

    >> 你不想談談我嗎?

  • >> Stephen: NO.

    >> 史蒂芬:沒有。

  • COME ON.

    來吧。

  • I SAID "FRAGRANT" WHEN I MEANT TO SAY, "FLAGRANT."

    我說的是 "fragrant",而我想說的是 "flagrant"。

  • JUST PLAY THAT ONE.

    就玩那一個。

  • IT'LL BE HILARIOUS.

    這將是熱鬧的。

  • >> STEPHEN: I'M GOOD.

    >> 我很好。

  • >> BUT YOU USED TO TELL JOKES ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME, REMEMBER?

    >> 但你以前總是拿我開玩笑,記得嗎?

  • MY NAKED CORRUPTION, MY GROSS INCOMPETENCE, MY TINY LITTLE

    我的赤裸裸的腐敗,我的嚴重無能,我的小不點

  • HANDS...

    手...

  • AND DON'T FORGET MY RIDICULOUS HAIR.

    不要忘了我那可笑的頭髮。

  • IT LOOKS LIKE A MERKIN FELL INTO--

    它看起來像一個梅爾金掉進了 --

  • >> STEPHEN: A COTTON CANDY MACHINE.

    >> 棉花糖機。

  • YEAH, I REMEMBER.

    是的,我記得。

  • BUT YOU'RE NOT IN POWER ANYMORE, SO JUST TAKE A HIKE.

    但你已經不在掌權了,所以你就走吧。

  • >> STEPHEN: BUT I SPOKE AT CPAC YESTERDAY!

    >> 但我昨天在CPAC上發言了!

  • IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT, NEWSWORTHY EVENT!

    這真是一個重要的,有新聞價值的事件!

  • I'M STILL SO RELEVANT.

    我還是那麼有意義。

  • IF PEOPLE DON'T TALK ABOUT ME, I'LL MELT.

    如果人們不談論我,我會融化。

  • I'M MELTING.

    我正在融化。

  • I'M MELTING.

    我正在融化。

  • OR MAYBE THAT'S JUST MY BRONZER.

    也許這只是我的BRONZER。

  • GOODBYE NOT CRUEL ENOUGH WORLD.

    再見了,不夠殘酷的世界。

  • PSYCH!

    PSYCH!

  • I'M NEVER LEAVING!

    我永遠不會離開!

  • SEE YOU IN 2024!

    2024年見!

  • >> Stephen: GO, GET OUT!

    >> 走,出去!

  • GET OUT!

    滾出去!

  • >> AAAHHH!

    >> AAAHHH!

  • >> Stephen: SPEAKING OF GOLDEN IDOLS, LAST

    >> 史蒂芬: 說到金童玉女,最後一個。

  • NIGHT THEY HELD THE GOLDEN GLOBES.

    他們拿著金球獎的那晚。

  • THIS YEAR THE GLOBES WERE HOSTED BY TINA FEY AND AMY POEHLER ON

    今年的GLOBES是由TINA FEY和AMY POEHLER主持的。

  • OPPOSITE COASTS, AND MOST OF THE CELEBS JOINED IN VIA ZOOM.

    對立的海岸,和大多數的CELEBS加入在VIA ZOOM。

  • ALL THE GLAMOUR WAS FROM THE WAIST UP, SO WE HAD NO IDEA IF

    所有的魅力都是來自腰部以上,所以我們不知道,如果。

  • THE DRAPES MATCHED THE RED CARPET.

    舞蹈與紅毯相配。

  • THIS YEAR'S LOOKS RAN THE GAMUT FROM CYNTHIA ERIVO IN VALENTINO

    今年的造型由CYNTHIA ERIVO在VALENTINO的GAMUT中演繹。

  • AND NICOLE KIDMAN IN LOUIS VUITTON ALL THE WAY TO JASON

    和NICOLE KIDMAN在LOUIS VUITTON的路途中,一直到JASON。

  • SUDEIKIS IN TIE-DYE HOODIE.

    SUDEIKIS在扎染罩衫。

  • YOU CAN SHOP JASON SUDEKIS'S LOOK BY DIGGING INTO THE BOTTOM

    您可以通過挖掘底部來選購JASON SUDEKIS的產品。

  • OF YOUR HAMPER AND THEN TAKING THAT EDIBLE YOU'VE BEEN SAVING

    然後把你一直保存的美味拿出來。

  • FOR AN EMERGENCY.

    緊急情況下。

  • GOOD FOR YOU, JASON.

    對你有好處,賈森。

  • KEEPING IT REAL.

    保持真實。

  • THIS YEAR'S GLOBES CAME UNDER A LOT OF SCRUTINY AFTER A FORMER

    今年的GLOBES在一位前輩的帶領下,受到了很多的質疑。

  • PRESIDENT OF THE HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS ASSOCIATION

    HOLLYWOOD外國記者協會主席的報告

  • ADMITTED THE GROUP HASN'T HAD ANY BLACK MEMBERS IN TWO

    承認該集團沒有任何黑人成員在兩個。

  • DECADES.

    幾十年來。

  • EXPLAINS WHY IN PAST YEARS, THEY'VE GIVEN GOLDEN GLOBES TO

    解釋為什麼在過去幾年裡,他們把金球獎送給了

  • "GREEN BOOK" AND HELLMAN'S.

    "綠皮書 "和HELLMAN'S。

  • LAST NIGHT THE GLOBES TRIED TO REMEDY THE PROBLEM BY PUTTING AS

    昨天晚上,GLOBES試圖補救這個問題,把它作為一種新的方法。

  • MANY BLACK PRESENTERS ON SCREEN AS POSSIBLE.

    儘可能讓更多的黑人主持人出現在螢幕上。

  • A BOLD EFFORT, BUT IT KIND OF LOOKED LIKE AN ALL WHITE HIGH

    一個大膽的努力,但它看起來有點像一個全白色的高。

  • SCHOOL TRYING TO PUT TOGETHER A YEARBOOK THAT LOOKED DIVERSE.

    學校試圖把一個看起來不同的年鑑。

  • "HEY MALIK, I KNOW YOU'RE ACTUALLY NOT IN FRENCH CLUB, BUT

    "嘿,馬利克,我知道你實際上不是在法國俱樂部,但。

  • PARLEZ VOUS DIVERSITE?

    PARLEZ VOUS DIVERSITE?

  • GRAB A BAGUETTE AND GET IN HERE."

    拿個包包就進去吧。"

  • THAT JOKE BY OUR WRITER JOHN THIBODEAUX.

    我們的作家約翰-蒂博德的那個笑話。

  • JOHN, YOU WANT TO GET IN HERE?

    約翰,你想進來嗎?

  • >> NOPE.

    >> NOPE。

  • >> STEPHEN: OKAY!

    >> 好的

  • BUT THE BIG NEWS OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN THE GOLDEN GLOBE FOR

    但當晚的重大新聞是金球獎的頒獎典禮。

  • BEST ORIGINAL SCORE WAS WON BY OUR FRIEND, MR. JON BATISTE.

    最佳原創分數由我們的朋友JON BATISTE先生獲得。

  • COME ON!

    來吧!

  • FOR HIS WORK ON THE SOUNDTRACK OF "SOUL."

    因為他的作品在 "靈魂 "的音軌上。

  • I'M SO HAPPY FOR JON.

    我真為喬恩感到高興。

  • I'M SO GRATEFUL TO BE ABLE TO WORK WITH HIM EVERY DAY, BECAUSE

    我很慶幸能每天和他一起工作,因為... ...

  • A MAN OF HIS TALENT CAN WORK ANYWHERE... EXCEPT, EVIDENTLY,

    這樣的人可以在任何地方工作... ...除了,證明。

  • THE HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS.

    HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS.

  • ONE PERSON NOT ENJOYING THE SPOTLIGHT RIGHT NOW IS NEW YORK

    紐約是一個沒有享受到當下焦點的人。

  • GOVERNOR AND SHAR PEI WHEN YOU BRING HOME THE NEW BABY, ANDREW

    當你把新生兒安德魯帶回家的時候,州長和夏爾-佩伊。

  • CUOMO.

    CUOMO.

  • FIRST, THE GOVERNOR WAS ARC CAUSED OF

    首先,總督是ARC造成的。

  • COVERING UP COVID DEATHS IN NURSING HOMES, NOW TWO FORMER

    掩蓋養老院中的COVID死亡事件,現在有兩個前輩。

  • AIDES ACCUSED HIM OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE WORKPLACE.

    助手指責他在工作場所進行性騷擾。

  • THE FIRST, A FORMER STATE ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT OFFICIAL,

    第一,一位前國家經濟發展官員;

  • LINDSEY BOYLAN, SAID CUOMO HARASSED HER ON SEVERAL

    LINDSEY BOYLAN,說CUOMO多次騷擾她。

  • OCCASIONS FROM 2016-2018, AT ONE POINT GIVING HER AN UNSOLICITED

    2016年至2018年,一度給她提供了一個無償的機會。

  • KISS ON THE LIPS AT HIS MANHATTAN OFFICE.

    在他的曼哈頓辦公室親吻嘴脣。

  • SHE ALSO SAID ON A FLIGHT BACK ON A FLIGHT TO NEW YORK THE

    她還說,在飛回紐約的班機上。

  • GOVERNOR SAID LET'S PLAY STRIP POKER.

    總督說,讓我們來玩脫衣舞遊戲。

  • MY FIRST REACTION WAS: THAT IS ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE.

    我的第一反應是:這完全不合適。

  • MY SECOND REACTION WAS: STRIP POKER ON A PLANE?

    我的第二反應是:在飛機上玩紙牌?

  • HOW LIMBER IS HE?

    他有多大的膽量?

  • "ALL RIGHT, I GOT A PAIR OF TWOS.

    "好吧,我得到了一對雙胞胎,

  • THE REST IS SLOP.

    其餘的都是斜面。

  • GOTTA TAKE OFF THESE PANTS.

    必須脫掉這些褲子。

  • EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU MOVE YOUR SEAT-BACK UP?

    對不起,你能把你的座位往後移嗎?

  • MY BELT'S GETTING CAUGHT IN THE MAGAZINE POCKET."

    "我的皮帶在雜誌口袋裡被發現了"

  • BUT THEN, I FOUND OUT IT WAS A PRIVATE JET.

    但後來,我發現是一架私人飛機。

  • OR IN THIS CASE, "PRIVATES."

    或在這種情況下,"私人"。

  • CUOMO'S OFFICE DENIED BOYLAN'S ACCUSATIONS, BUT THEN THE

    庫奧莫辦公室否認了博伊蘭的控訴,但隨後的

  • GOVERNOR WAS ALSO ACCUSED OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT BY HIS FORMER

    總督還被指控對其前任進行性騷擾。

  • EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT AND HEALTH POLICY ADVISER, CHARLOTTE

    夏洛特執行助理和衛生政策顧問

  • BENNETT.

    本尼特:

  • BENNETT HAD JUST TURNED 25 LAST YEAR WHEN CUOMO ASKED HER IN HIS

    本尼特去年剛滿25歲,當時庫奧莫在他的辦公室裡問她。

  • OFFICE IF SHE "HAD EVER BEEN WITH AN OLDER MAN."

    如果她 "曾經和一個老男人在一起",

  • (AS CUOMO) "REALLY OLD, BUT STILL KIND OF

    (如CUOMO) "真的很老,但仍然很好。

  • CUT.

    切:

  • MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A NIPPLE RING?

    可能有或可能沒有乳環?

  • RINGING ANY BELLS, THAT MIGHT BE HANGING FROM M NIPPLE RING?"

    "有什麼鈴鐺,可能掛在M NIPPLE RING上嗎?"

  • THIS TIME, CUOMO APOLOGIZED, BUT GAVE THIS EXCUSE:

    這次,CUOMO道歉了,但給出了這個藉口。

  • "AT WORK SOMETIMES I THINK I AM BEING PLAYFUL AND MAKE JOKES

    "在工作中,有時我覺得自己是在玩耍,在開玩笑。

  • THAT I THINK ARE FUNNY."

    我認為是有趣的。"

  • I KNOW THAT ONE.

    我知道那一個。

  • "KNOCK-KNOCK."

    "咚咚咚"。

  • "WHO'S THERE?" "AN OLDER MAN."

    "誰在那裡?""一個老男人。"

  • "AN OLDER MAN WHO?" "AN OLDER MAN WHO IS NOT TOO OLD

    "一個老男人是誰?""一個還不算太老的老男人

  • TO HAVE SEX WITH!" BENNETT ALSO SAYS THAT AS THEY

    與之發生性關係!"貝內特還說,由於他們的。

  • WERE DISCUSSING HER 25TH BIRTHDAY, CUOMO SAID THAT HE

    在討論她的25歲生日時,CUOMO說他。

  • FELT "HE'S FINE WITH ANYONE ABOVE THE AGE OF 22."

    覺得 "他對22歲以上的人都沒問題"

  • WOW, HER OFFICE BIRTHDAY PARTY MUST HAVE BEEN AWKWARD:

    哇,她的辦公室生日派對一定很尷尬吧。

  • "HAPPY THIRD YEAR I'M WILLING TO DATE YOU!"

    "HAPPY THIRD YEAR I'm WILLING TO DATE YOU!"

  • BENNETT BELIEVES THE GOVERNOR WAS GROOMING HER BY TRYING TO

    本尼特認為,州長在培養她的時候,試圖通過

  • GET CLOSE, REMEMBERING THAT AT ONE POINT THEY BONDED OVER THE

    靠近點,記住,在某一時刻,他們在這裡結成了同盟。

  • FACT THAT SHE HAD PLAYED MIDDLE-SCHOOL SOCCER AGAINST ONE

    事實上,她曾在中學足球隊打過球。

  • OF HIS DAUGHTERS.

    他的女兒們。

  • I HOPE HE'S NOT ONE OF THOSE NIGHTMARE SPORTS DADS WHO'S

    我希望他不是那些夜場體育爸爸中的一個。

  • ALWAYS YELLING, "HEY, REF!

    總是大喊 "嘿,REF!"。

  • HOW OLD IS THAT ONE?" NOW, PEOPLE ARE CALLING FOR AN

    "那個有多老?"現在,人們都在呼喚一個

  • INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION, LIKE NEW YORK MAYOR BILL DEBLASIO,

    獨立調查,就像紐約市長比爾-德布拉西奧一樣。

  • SEEN HERE PROVING NOT ALL SUPER HEROES WEAR CAPES, OR ARE SUPER,

    看到這裡,證明不是所有的超級英雄都穿斗篷,或者是超級。

  • OR ARE HEROES.

    或者是英雄。

  • DEBLASIO AND CUOMO ARE FRIENDLY RIVALS, MUCH THE SAME WAY A

    DEBLASIO和CUOMO是友好的對手,同樣的方式,一個。

  • COBRA AND A MONGOOSE LIKE TO KID EACH OTHER.

    COBRA和MONGOOSE喜歡互相開玩笑。

  • WHICH MAY BE WHY DEBLASIO SEEMED SO QUICK TO CALL CUOMO'S ALLEGED

    這可能是為什麼DEBLASIO似乎如此迅速地打電話給CUOMO的指責

  • BEHAVIOR "JUST DISGUSTING, CREEPY.

    行為 "只是令人厭惡的,可怕的。

  • WHEN I HEARD IT, IT SICKENED ME, IT DISGUSTED ME, BUT IT ALSO

    當我聽到這句話時,它使我感到噁心,它使我感到厭惡,但它還

  • SOUNDED LIKE, YEAH, I COULD BELIEVE THAT HAPPENING, TOO.

    聽起來像,是的,我可以相信發生的事情,太。

  • AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED A FULL INVESTIGATION."

    這就是為什麼我們要進行全面調查。"

  • ADDING, "SOMEONE ELSE IS HATED MORE THAN ME!

    補充道:"有人比我更討厭!

  • YES!

    是!

  • KEEP INVESTIGATING.

    繼續調查。

  • I'M FREE!

    我是自由的!

  • SUCK IT, ANDY!" WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

    去你的,安迪!"我們已經為你準備了一場精彩的演出

  • TONIGHT.

    今晚。

  • MY GUESTS ARE ANDY SAMBERG AND CNN'S CLARISSA WARD.

    我的嘉賓是ANDY SAMBERG和CNN的CLARISSA WARD。

  • BUT WHEN WE RETURN, IS BEER GOOD FOR YOU NOW?

    但當我們回來時,啤酒對你有好處嗎?

  • THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE YOU, IF YOU THOUGHT YES.

    答案可能會讓你大吃一驚,如果你認為是的話。

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

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