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>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
歡迎回到 "深夜秀"。
I'M YOUR HOST STEPHEN COLBERT.
我是你的主持人STEPHEN COLBERT。
WE'RE EXCITED TO SEE YOU.
我們很高興見到你。
AS ISAID, WELCOME BACK.
AS ISAID,歡迎回來。
A WEEKEND IS TOO LONG TO BE AWAY FROM YOU.
離開你的週末太長了。
WE'RE GOING TO KICK RIGHT OFF WITH THE ONLY STORY THAT MATTERS
我們將以唯一重要的故事為開場白
TONIGHT, AND THAT'S WHAT'S ON TV NEXT SUNDAY.
今晚,這就是下週日的電視。
BECAUSE MY CBS COLLEAGUE OPRAH WINFREY HAS RELEASED A TEASER OF
因為我的哥倫比亞廣播公司的同事OPRAH WINFREY已經發布了一個TEASER的
NEXT WEEK'S BLOCKBUSTER INTERVIEW WITH PRINCE HARRY AND
下週的BLOCKBUSTER採訪哈里王子和...
MEGHAN MARKLE.
MEGHAN MARKLE:
OH, MY GOD.
哦,我的上帝。
I CAN'T BELIEVE ACTUAL ROYALTY IS GOING TO TALK TO HARRY AND
我不敢相信真正的皇室要去跟哈里和...
MEGHAN.
MEGHAN.
MR. AND MRS. SUSSEX ARE UNDENIABLY EVERYONE'S FAVORITE
先生和夫人。和Mrs.SUSSEX無疑是大家最喜歡的。
ROYALS.
王室成員:
RIGHT AFTER THE QUEEN, KATE MIDDLETON, AND THE DUKE OF
女王、凱特-米德萊頓和公爵的右後衛。
HASTINGS FROM THE WAIST DOWN.
HASTINGS從腰部以下。
MMM!
MMM!
MMM!
MMM!
GOD, I HOPE THAT'S A BLUR.
上帝,我希望這是一個模糊的。
HE SHOULD SEE A DOCTOR.
他應該去看醫生。
THIS INTERVIEW IS ALL ANYONE CAN TALK ABOUT.
這個採訪是所有人都可以談論的。
EVEN THOUGH THERE'S NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT, BECAUSE THE SHOW
即使沒有什麼好談的,因為節目中
WON'T AIR UNTIL SUNDAY 8:00 P.M.
直到週日晚上8點才會播出。
EASTERN, 7:00 CENTRAL ON YOUR LOCAL CBS STATION.
東部,7: 00中央在你當地的CBS電視臺。
SMOOTH.
順利。
( LAUGHTER ) BUT STILL, THE ANTICIPATION IS
(笑)但是,仍然,預測是
WILD.
WILD:
FOR 24 HOURS, THIS INTERVIEW WAS THE TOP OF "THE DRUDGE REPORT."
24小時,這個採訪是頂部 "吸毒者報告"。
NORMALLY, TO MAKE IT THAT HIGH ON "DRUDGE," YOU GOT TO BE AN AD
通常情況下,要想在 "毒品 "上取得那麼高的成績,你必須是一個AD。
PROMISING ONE WEIRD TRICK TO SHRINK YOUR ENLARGED PROSTATE.
承諾一個奇怪的技巧來縮小你的前列腺增生。
OR A TACTICAL VEST... FOR YOUR ENLARGED PROSTATE.
或戰術背心......。為您的前列腺增生。
WHAT DID THEY TALK ABOUT?
他們談了什麼?
FROM THE TEASER, IT'S A LITTLE HARD TO TELL:
從預告片來看,有點難以啟齒。
>> WERE YOU SILENT OR WERE YOU SILENCED?
>> 你是沉默的還是被沉默的?
>> I JUST WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO EVERYBODY THAT THERE IS NO
>> 我只是想讓大家清楚,沒有
SUBJECT THAT'S OFF LIMITS.
題目,是關閉限制。
>> YOU'VE SAID SOME PRETTY SHOCKING THINGS HERE.
>> 你說了一些非常令人震驚的事情。
>> WAIT, HOLD-- HOLD UP, WAIT A MINUTE.
>> 等待,等待 -- 等待,等待一分鐘。
>> STEPHEN: WOW, WHATEVER THEY SAID, AND IT IS UNKNOWABLE, IT
>> 不管他們說了什麼,都是不可知的。
STUNNED OPRAH.
震驚的OPRAH。
IT'S EITHER SOME REALLY JUICY DISH, OR SHE ASKED FOR SPARKLING
要麼是一些真正的美味佳餚,要麼是她要求閃閃發光
WATER AND THEY BROUGHT HER STILL.
水,他們仍然把她帶到。
BUT YOU HEARD HER: NO SUBJECT WAS OFF LIMITS.
但你聽到她說:"沒有主題是不受限制的。
WHICH I HOPE MEANS THE FIRST HOUR IS HOT GOSS ON THE CAST OF
我希望這意味著,第一時間是熱的GOSS的演員,
"SUITS."
"西裝。"
IS GABRIEL MACHT A DIVA?
GABRIEL MACHT是天后嗎?
ALSO, WHO IS GABRIEL MACHT?
另外,誰是GABRIEL MACHT?
I HAVEN'T SEEN THE SHOW.
我還沒看過這個節目。
HEAR GOOD THINGS.
聽到好的東西。
WHAT ELSE IS GOING ON?
到底發生了什麼?
WHAT DO WE HAVE?
我們有什麼?
OH, WE HAVE THE THING.
哦,我們有這個東西。
C-PAC.
C-PAC:
THIS WEEKEND WAS THE ANNUAL CONSERVATIVE POLITICAL ACTION
本週末是一年一度的 "保守派政治行動"。
CONFERENCE, BILLED AS "THE LARGEST AND MOST INFLUENTIAL
會議,被稱為 "最大和最有影響力的會議"。
GATHERING OF CONSERVATIVES IN THE WORLD."
召集世界上的公民。"
THAT'S IF YOU DON'T COUNT THEIR LAST GATHERING.
如果你不計算他們最後一次聚會的話。
THIS WEEKEND'S LINEUP INCLUDED A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO SPREAD THE
本週末的陣容中,有很多人都在散播 "我是歌手 "的資訊。
BIG LIE THAT LED TO THE INSURRECTION, LIKE TEXAS SENATOR
導致保險的大謊言,如德州參議員。
TED CRUZ, MISSOURI SENATOR JOSH HAWLEY, AND ARIZONA
特德-克魯茲、密蘇里州參議員喬什-霍利和亞利桑那州參議員。
REPRESENTATIVE PAUL GOSAR.
PAUL GOSAR代表:
IT WAS A MURDERER'S ROW OF PEOPLE WHO ALMOST GOT MIKE PENCE
是一群殺人犯差點害死了邁克-彭斯。
MURDERED.
謀殺。
BEFORE THE SPEAKERS EVEN OPENED THEIR MOUTHS, CPAC GOT OFF TO A
在演講者開口之前,CPAC就已經開始了。
ROUGH START, BECAUSE EAGLE-EYED TWITTER USERS POINTED OUT THAT
艱難的開始,因為有眼尖的微博用戶指出
THE CONVENTION STAGE WAS IN THE SHAPE OF AN ODAL RUNE, WHICH IS
大會舞臺呈橢圓形運行,這就是所謂的:"我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說,我是說。
A SYMBOL USED ON SOME NAZI UNIFORMS.
一些納粹制服上使用的符號。
OKAY, HOW MUCH RESEMBLANCE ARE WE TALKING HERE?
好吧,我們在這裡談的是多少象徵性的東西?
THIS IS THE SHAPE OF THE STAGE, AND HERE IS THE S.S. UNIFORM
這是舞臺的形狀,這裡是S.S.的制服。
WITH THE ODAL RUNE-- HOLY HIMMLER!
隨著ODAL RUNE -- 神聖的HIMMLER!
NOW, SOME PEOPLE SAY THEY DON'T SEE IT, BUT WHEN YOU LOOK AT
現在,有些人說他們沒有看到,但當你看到的是
THEM SIDE BY SIDE, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO "NAZI" IT.
它們並排在一起,這有點難以 "納粹 "它。
FASCIST SYMBOLISM ASIDE, ONE OF THE STUPIDEST MOMENTS OF THE
撇開法西斯主義符號不談,這是最愚蠢的時刻之一。
ENTIRE STUPID WEEKEND CAME FROM TEXAS SENATOR AND
整個愚蠢的週末來自於德州參議員和。
WATER-LOGGED CORPSE OF THE NOTRE DAME LEPRECHAUN, TED CRUZ.
聖母院萊普雷克肖恩的屍體被水淹沒,泰德-克魯茲。
CRUZ CAREFULLY EXPLAINED THE STAKES OF OUR NATIONAL CONFLICT
克魯茲小心翼翼地解釋了我們國家衝突的風險。
WITH AN EASY TO FOLLOW ANALOGY.
用簡單易行的分析方法。
>> THE MEDIA HERE LOOKS AT THE MEN AND WOMEN GATHERED HERE, AT
>>這裡的媒體看著這裡聚集的男男女女,在這裡,在
THE YOUNG PEOPLE GATHERED HERE, AS DANGEROUS RADICALS.
年輕人聚集在這裡,作為危險的輻射。
THIS IS THE REBEL ALLIANCE AND VADER AND THE EMPEROR, AND LET'S
這是叛軍聯盟和VADER和皇帝,讓我們。
BE CLEAR, THEY'RE NOT YOUR FATHER, ARE TERRIFIED OF THE
說清楚,他們不是你的父親,是怕你的父親。
REBELS WHO ARE HERE.
這裡的反叛者:
WE AREN'T THE BORG ENFORCING, OKAY, I MAY HAVE COMMITTED A
我們不是BORG執法,好吧,我可能已經犯了一個。
CARDINAL SIN, MIXING "STAR WARS" AND "STAR TREK."
CARDINAL SIN, MIXING "STAR WARS" AND "STAR TREK".
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GOING TO CROSS THE STREAMS AND
接下來,你會發現,你會越過河流和
THE STAY-PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN IS GOING TO COME.
留守的馬什馬洛人要來了。
>> STEPHEN: (AS CRUZ) "STAY WITH ME HERE... WE'RE
>> "在這裡陪著我...我們是
DOCTOR WHO, BUT NOT THE LADY ONE, AND WE'VE GOT ALL THE
"世衛醫生",但不是 "女醫生",我們已經得到了所有的。
INFINITY STONES EXCEPT FOR THE SORCERER'S STONE WHICH IS STILL
無盡之石,除了巫師之石,它仍然是。
AT HOGWARTS IN THAT WARDROBE WITH THE WITCH AND THE LION, WHO
在霍格沃茨的那個衣櫃裡,有巫婆和獅子,他們...
IS NOT.
是不。
MY.
我的。
DAD."
DAD."
CRUZ WRAPPED UP HIS SPEECH, MAKING ONE THING CLEAR: HE KNOWS
克魯茲結束了他的演講,明確了一件事:他知道。
EVEN MORE MOVIE REFERENCES: >> IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF
更多電影參考資料。>> 《不朽的箴言》:
WILLIAM WALLACE, "FREEDOM!" >> STEPHEN: CONSIDERING THE
威廉-沃利斯,"自由!">> 考慮到
SHAPE OF THAT STAGE, I BET HE WASN'T THE ONLY PERSON AT CPAC
舞臺的形狀,我想他不是唯一一個在CPAC的人。
QUOTING MEL GIBSON.
引用MEL GIBSON的話:
THE HEADLINER OF THE WEEKEND WAS THE FORMER PRESIDENT.
週末的頭條新聞是前總統。
HIS SPEECH WAS PRETTY LIGHT ON SUBSTANCE AND ENERGY, BUT THERE
他的演講非常輕描淡寫地談到了物質和能量,但是有
WAS ONE MAJOR REVELATION: HE TOLD THE AUDIENCE THAT HE WOULD
有一個重大的啟示:他告訴聽眾,他將會
NOT START A THIRD PARTY.
不啟動第三方。
OF COURSE HE ISN'T GOING TO START A NEW POLITICAL PARTY.
當然,他不會開始一個新的政治黨派。
HE ALREADY OWNS ONE!
他已經擁有了一個!
THESE PEOPLE WORSHIP THE GROUND HE WALKS ON.
這些人崇拜他所走過的土地。
LITERALLY.
字面意思是:
THE BIGGEST ATTRACTION AT CPAC WAS THE GIANT GOLDEN STATUE OF
CPAC上最大的吸引力是巨大的金字塔。
HIM.
他:
NOTHING SAYS THE PARTY OF CHRISTIAN VALUES LIKE
沒有什麼能比得上基督教價值觀的政黨。
WORSHIPPING A GOLDEN IDOL.
崇拜一個金色的偶像。
AND IT'S AN OLD TESTAMENT TWO-FER, 'CAUSE HE'LL ALSO COVET
而且是舊約的兩面派,因為他也會貪汙。
YOUR WIFE, NEIGHBOR.
你的妻子,鄰居。
NOW, HE SAID A LOT OF THINGS AND SOME OF IT WAS STUPID, AND THE
現在,他說了很多話,有些話是愚蠢的,而且... ...
REST WAS DANGEROUS.
休息是危險的。
BUT I'M NOT GOING TO PLAY ANY OF THE CLIPS, BECAUSE THE COUNTRY
但我不會播放任何片段,因為國家。
NEEDS TO MOVE ON AND, FRANKLY, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE.
需要繼續前進,而且,老實說,我不在乎了。
>> STEPHEN... STEPHEN...
>> 史蒂芬...史蒂芬...
>> Stephen: JIMMY, WHAT'S THAT?
>> JIMMY,那是什麼?
>> COME ON, STEPHEN, IT'S ME, YOUR FAVORITE FORMER PRESIDENT
>> 來吧,斯蒂芬,是我,你最喜歡的前總統。
WHOSE NAME YOU WON'T SAY.
你不願意說的名字。
>> STEPHEN: PLEASE LEAVE.
>> 請離開。
>> DON'T YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME?
>> 你不想談談我嗎?
>> Stephen: NO.
>> 史蒂芬:沒有。
COME ON.
來吧。
I SAID "FRAGRANT" WHEN I MEANT TO SAY, "FLAGRANT."
我說的是 "fragrant",而我想說的是 "flagrant"。
JUST PLAY THAT ONE.
就玩那一個。
IT'LL BE HILARIOUS.
這將是熱鬧的。
>> STEPHEN: I'M GOOD.
>> 我很好。
>> BUT YOU USED TO TELL JOKES ABOUT ME ALL THE TIME, REMEMBER?
>> 但你以前總是拿我開玩笑,記得嗎?
MY NAKED CORRUPTION, MY GROSS INCOMPETENCE, MY TINY LITTLE
我的赤裸裸的腐敗,我的嚴重無能,我的小不點
HANDS...
手...
AND DON'T FORGET MY RIDICULOUS HAIR.
不要忘了我那可笑的頭髮。
IT LOOKS LIKE A MERKIN FELL INTO--
它看起來像一個梅爾金掉進了 --
>> STEPHEN: A COTTON CANDY MACHINE.
>> 棉花糖機。
YEAH, I REMEMBER.
是的,我記得。
BUT YOU'RE NOT IN POWER ANYMORE, SO JUST TAKE A HIKE.
但你已經不在掌權了,所以你就走吧。
>> STEPHEN: BUT I SPOKE AT CPAC YESTERDAY!
>> 但我昨天在CPAC上發言了!
IT'S SUCH AN IMPORTANT, NEWSWORTHY EVENT!
這真是一個重要的,有新聞價值的事件!
I'M STILL SO RELEVANT.
我還是那麼有意義。
IF PEOPLE DON'T TALK ABOUT ME, I'LL MELT.
如果人們不談論我,我會融化。
I'M MELTING.
我正在融化。
I'M MELTING.
我正在融化。
OR MAYBE THAT'S JUST MY BRONZER.
也許這只是我的BRONZER。
GOODBYE NOT CRUEL ENOUGH WORLD.
再見了,不夠殘酷的世界。
PSYCH!
PSYCH!
I'M NEVER LEAVING!
我永遠不會離開!
SEE YOU IN 2024!
2024年見!
>> Stephen: GO, GET OUT!
>> 走,出去!
GET OUT!
滾出去!
>> AAAHHH!
>> AAAHHH!
>> Stephen: SPEAKING OF GOLDEN IDOLS, LAST
>> 史蒂芬: 說到金童玉女,最後一個。
NIGHT THEY HELD THE GOLDEN GLOBES.
他們拿著金球獎的那晚。
THIS YEAR THE GLOBES WERE HOSTED BY TINA FEY AND AMY POEHLER ON
今年的GLOBES是由TINA FEY和AMY POEHLER主持的。
OPPOSITE COASTS, AND MOST OF THE CELEBS JOINED IN VIA ZOOM.
對立的海岸,和大多數的CELEBS加入在VIA ZOOM。
ALL THE GLAMOUR WAS FROM THE WAIST UP, SO WE HAD NO IDEA IF
所有的魅力都是來自腰部以上,所以我們不知道,如果。
THE DRAPES MATCHED THE RED CARPET.
舞蹈與紅毯相配。
THIS YEAR'S LOOKS RAN THE GAMUT FROM CYNTHIA ERIVO IN VALENTINO
今年的造型由CYNTHIA ERIVO在VALENTINO的GAMUT中演繹。
AND NICOLE KIDMAN IN LOUIS VUITTON ALL THE WAY TO JASON
和NICOLE KIDMAN在LOUIS VUITTON的路途中,一直到JASON。
SUDEIKIS IN TIE-DYE HOODIE.
SUDEIKIS在扎染罩衫。
YOU CAN SHOP JASON SUDEKIS'S LOOK BY DIGGING INTO THE BOTTOM
您可以通過挖掘底部來選購JASON SUDEKIS的產品。
OF YOUR HAMPER AND THEN TAKING THAT EDIBLE YOU'VE BEEN SAVING
然後把你一直保存的美味拿出來。
FOR AN EMERGENCY.
緊急情況下。
GOOD FOR YOU, JASON.
對你有好處,賈森。
KEEPING IT REAL.
保持真實。
THIS YEAR'S GLOBES CAME UNDER A LOT OF SCRUTINY AFTER A FORMER
今年的GLOBES在一位前輩的帶領下,受到了很多的質疑。
PRESIDENT OF THE HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS ASSOCIATION
HOLLYWOOD外國記者協會主席的報告
ADMITTED THE GROUP HASN'T HAD ANY BLACK MEMBERS IN TWO
承認該集團沒有任何黑人成員在兩個。
DECADES.
幾十年來。
EXPLAINS WHY IN PAST YEARS, THEY'VE GIVEN GOLDEN GLOBES TO
解釋為什麼在過去幾年裡,他們把金球獎送給了
"GREEN BOOK" AND HELLMAN'S.
"綠皮書 "和HELLMAN'S。
LAST NIGHT THE GLOBES TRIED TO REMEDY THE PROBLEM BY PUTTING AS
昨天晚上,GLOBES試圖補救這個問題,把它作為一種新的方法。
MANY BLACK PRESENTERS ON SCREEN AS POSSIBLE.
儘可能讓更多的黑人主持人出現在螢幕上。
A BOLD EFFORT, BUT IT KIND OF LOOKED LIKE AN ALL WHITE HIGH
一個大膽的努力,但它看起來有點像一個全白色的高。
SCHOOL TRYING TO PUT TOGETHER A YEARBOOK THAT LOOKED DIVERSE.
學校試圖把一個看起來不同的年鑑。
"HEY MALIK, I KNOW YOU'RE ACTUALLY NOT IN FRENCH CLUB, BUT
"嘿,馬利克,我知道你實際上不是在法國俱樂部,但。
PARLEZ VOUS DIVERSITE?
PARLEZ VOUS DIVERSITE?
GRAB A BAGUETTE AND GET IN HERE."
拿個包包就進去吧。"
THAT JOKE BY OUR WRITER JOHN THIBODEAUX.
我們的作家約翰-蒂博德的那個笑話。
JOHN, YOU WANT TO GET IN HERE?
約翰,你想進來嗎?
>> NOPE.
>> NOPE。
>> STEPHEN: OKAY!
>> 好的
BUT THE BIG NEWS OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN THE GOLDEN GLOBE FOR
但當晚的重大新聞是金球獎的頒獎典禮。
BEST ORIGINAL SCORE WAS WON BY OUR FRIEND, MR. JON BATISTE.
最佳原創分數由我們的朋友JON BATISTE先生獲得。
COME ON!
來吧!
FOR HIS WORK ON THE SOUNDTRACK OF "SOUL."
因為他的作品在 "靈魂 "的音軌上。
I'M SO HAPPY FOR JON.
我真為喬恩感到高興。
I'M SO GRATEFUL TO BE ABLE TO WORK WITH HIM EVERY DAY, BECAUSE
我很慶幸能每天和他一起工作,因為... ...
A MAN OF HIS TALENT CAN WORK ANYWHERE... EXCEPT, EVIDENTLY,
這樣的人可以在任何地方工作... ...除了,證明。
THE HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS.
HOLLYWOOD FOREIGN PRESS.
ONE PERSON NOT ENJOYING THE SPOTLIGHT RIGHT NOW IS NEW YORK
紐約是一個沒有享受到當下焦點的人。
GOVERNOR AND SHAR PEI WHEN YOU BRING HOME THE NEW BABY, ANDREW
當你把新生兒安德魯帶回家的時候,州長和夏爾-佩伊。
CUOMO.
CUOMO.
FIRST, THE GOVERNOR WAS ARC CAUSED OF
首先,總督是ARC造成的。
COVERING UP COVID DEATHS IN NURSING HOMES, NOW TWO FORMER
掩蓋養老院中的COVID死亡事件,現在有兩個前輩。
AIDES ACCUSED HIM OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT IN THE WORKPLACE.
助手指責他在工作場所進行性騷擾。
THE FIRST, A FORMER STATE ECONOMIC DEVELOPMENT OFFICIAL,
第一,一位前國家經濟發展官員;
LINDSEY BOYLAN, SAID CUOMO HARASSED HER ON SEVERAL
LINDSEY BOYLAN,說CUOMO多次騷擾她。
OCCASIONS FROM 2016-2018, AT ONE POINT GIVING HER AN UNSOLICITED
2016年至2018年,一度給她提供了一個無償的機會。
KISS ON THE LIPS AT HIS MANHATTAN OFFICE.
在他的曼哈頓辦公室親吻嘴脣。
SHE ALSO SAID ON A FLIGHT BACK ON A FLIGHT TO NEW YORK THE
她還說,在飛回紐約的班機上。
GOVERNOR SAID LET'S PLAY STRIP POKER.
總督說,讓我們來玩脫衣舞遊戲。
MY FIRST REACTION WAS: THAT IS ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE.
我的第一反應是:這完全不合適。
MY SECOND REACTION WAS: STRIP POKER ON A PLANE?
我的第二反應是:在飛機上玩紙牌?
HOW LIMBER IS HE?
他有多大的膽量?
"ALL RIGHT, I GOT A PAIR OF TWOS.
"好吧,我得到了一對雙胞胎,
THE REST IS SLOP.
其餘的都是斜面。
GOTTA TAKE OFF THESE PANTS.
必須脫掉這些褲子。
EXCUSE ME, COULD YOU MOVE YOUR SEAT-BACK UP?
對不起,你能把你的座位往後移嗎?
MY BELT'S GETTING CAUGHT IN THE MAGAZINE POCKET."
"我的皮帶在雜誌口袋裡被發現了"
BUT THEN, I FOUND OUT IT WAS A PRIVATE JET.
但後來,我發現是一架私人飛機。
OR IN THIS CASE, "PRIVATES."
或在這種情況下,"私人"。
CUOMO'S OFFICE DENIED BOYLAN'S ACCUSATIONS, BUT THEN THE
庫奧莫辦公室否認了博伊蘭的控訴,但隨後的
GOVERNOR WAS ALSO ACCUSED OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT BY HIS FORMER
總督還被指控對其前任進行性騷擾。
EXECUTIVE ASSISTANT AND HEALTH POLICY ADVISER, CHARLOTTE
夏洛特執行助理和衛生政策顧問
BENNETT.
本尼特:
BENNETT HAD JUST TURNED 25 LAST YEAR WHEN CUOMO ASKED HER IN HIS
本尼特去年剛滿25歲,當時庫奧莫在他的辦公室裡問她。
OFFICE IF SHE "HAD EVER BEEN WITH AN OLDER MAN."
如果她 "曾經和一個老男人在一起",
(AS CUOMO) "REALLY OLD, BUT STILL KIND OF
(如CUOMO) "真的很老,但仍然很好。
CUT.
切:
MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A NIPPLE RING?
可能有或可能沒有乳環?
RINGING ANY BELLS, THAT MIGHT BE HANGING FROM M NIPPLE RING?"
"有什麼鈴鐺,可能掛在M NIPPLE RING上嗎?"
THIS TIME, CUOMO APOLOGIZED, BUT GAVE THIS EXCUSE:
這次,CUOMO道歉了,但給出了這個藉口。
"AT WORK SOMETIMES I THINK I AM BEING PLAYFUL AND MAKE JOKES
"在工作中,有時我覺得自己是在玩耍,在開玩笑。
THAT I THINK ARE FUNNY."
我認為是有趣的。"
I KNOW THAT ONE.
我知道那一個。
"KNOCK-KNOCK."
"咚咚咚"。
"WHO'S THERE?" "AN OLDER MAN."
"誰在那裡?""一個老男人。"
"AN OLDER MAN WHO?" "AN OLDER MAN WHO IS NOT TOO OLD
"一個老男人是誰?""一個還不算太老的老男人
TO HAVE SEX WITH!" BENNETT ALSO SAYS THAT AS THEY
與之發生性關係!"貝內特還說,由於他們的。
WERE DISCUSSING HER 25TH BIRTHDAY, CUOMO SAID THAT HE
在討論她的25歲生日時,CUOMO說他。
FELT "HE'S FINE WITH ANYONE ABOVE THE AGE OF 22."
覺得 "他對22歲以上的人都沒問題"
WOW, HER OFFICE BIRTHDAY PARTY MUST HAVE BEEN AWKWARD:
哇,她的辦公室生日派對一定很尷尬吧。
"HAPPY THIRD YEAR I'M WILLING TO DATE YOU!"
"HAPPY THIRD YEAR I'm WILLING TO DATE YOU!"
BENNETT BELIEVES THE GOVERNOR WAS GROOMING HER BY TRYING TO
本尼特認為,州長在培養她的時候,試圖通過
GET CLOSE, REMEMBERING THAT AT ONE POINT THEY BONDED OVER THE
靠近點,記住,在某一時刻,他們在這裡結成了同盟。
FACT THAT SHE HAD PLAYED MIDDLE-SCHOOL SOCCER AGAINST ONE
事實上,她曾在中學足球隊打過球。
OF HIS DAUGHTERS.
他的女兒們。
I HOPE HE'S NOT ONE OF THOSE NIGHTMARE SPORTS DADS WHO'S
我希望他不是那些夜場體育爸爸中的一個。
ALWAYS YELLING, "HEY, REF!
總是大喊 "嘿,REF!"。
HOW OLD IS THAT ONE?" NOW, PEOPLE ARE CALLING FOR AN
"那個有多老?"現在,人們都在呼喚一個
INDEPENDENT INVESTIGATION, LIKE NEW YORK MAYOR BILL DEBLASIO,
獨立調查,就像紐約市長比爾-德布拉西奧一樣。
SEEN HERE PROVING NOT ALL SUPER HEROES WEAR CAPES, OR ARE SUPER,
看到這裡,證明不是所有的超級英雄都穿斗篷,或者是超級。
OR ARE HEROES.
或者是英雄。
DEBLASIO AND CUOMO ARE FRIENDLY RIVALS, MUCH THE SAME WAY A
DEBLASIO和CUOMO是友好的對手,同樣的方式,一個。
COBRA AND A MONGOOSE LIKE TO KID EACH OTHER.
COBRA和MONGOOSE喜歡互相開玩笑。
WHICH MAY BE WHY DEBLASIO SEEMED SO QUICK TO CALL CUOMO'S ALLEGED
這可能是為什麼DEBLASIO似乎如此迅速地打電話給CUOMO的指責
BEHAVIOR "JUST DISGUSTING, CREEPY.
行為 "只是令人厭惡的,可怕的。
WHEN I HEARD IT, IT SICKENED ME, IT DISGUSTED ME, BUT IT ALSO
當我聽到這句話時,它使我感到噁心,它使我感到厭惡,但它還
SOUNDED LIKE, YEAH, I COULD BELIEVE THAT HAPPENING, TOO.
聽起來像,是的,我可以相信發生的事情,太。
AND THAT'S WHY WE NEED A FULL INVESTIGATION."
這就是為什麼我們要進行全面調查。"
ADDING, "SOMEONE ELSE IS HATED MORE THAN ME!
補充道:"有人比我更討厭!
YES!
是!
KEEP INVESTIGATING.
繼續調查。
I'M FREE!
我是自由的!
SUCK IT, ANDY!" WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU
去你的,安迪!"我們已經為你準備了一場精彩的演出
TONIGHT.
今晚。
MY GUESTS ARE ANDY SAMBERG AND CNN'S CLARISSA WARD.
我的嘉賓是ANDY SAMBERG和CNN的CLARISSA WARD。
BUT WHEN WE RETURN, IS BEER GOOD FOR YOU NOW?
但當我們回來時,啤酒對你有好處嗎?
THE ANSWER MAY SURPRISE YOU, IF YOU THOUGHT YES.
答案可能會讓你大吃一驚,如果你認為是的話。