So, I'm... I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna go to the party for ten minutes, just ten minutes, and then I'll make my escape once I've reminded everyone that I exist.

What's the worst that could happen?

Oh, hey, you're the first one here!

This is the worst thing that could've happened.

- We've got a lot to catch up on!　- Yeah...

Well, I'd love to come to your nephew's tee ball game, but the thing is, I have a tee ball game that afternoon, too.

Oh, you know what?

That day, I'm supposed to be, uh, rescuing baby ducks from an oil spill.

But, you know, I guess I could cancel to go to your get-together.

You know, the ducks, they can just... expire.

Hello? No, this is me.

No, it's n—it's not him.

No, I am, I am from Norway. Please do not call again.

I have no reason to leave the house ever again.

Everything can just get dropped right to my doorstep — groceries, shoes, Starbucks.

Though, I will say, the Starbucks, not as hot when you get it delivered, but I'll take the hit.

Who is it?

I've got a package delivery.

I need a signature.

Crap! Why is this happening?

Hello?

Could I just get it delivered, like, with one of those drones instead?

- No.　- Argh! Human interaction!

Why would I need someone else to talk to when I've got several different persons within me, all vying for attention?

I've got more understanding now than I ever have before.

I just get it now.

It is all a game, and we are it.

What if my life is just a low-budget YouTube program and my house is just a green screen stock photo?

How many years has it been since I've had a conversation with someone?

I, I don't remember.

Time has no meaning for me.

My friends stopped inviting me out, which was nice of them, I guess.

You know, saves me the trouble of declining every time, which, as many times as I did it, was still emotionally exhausting.

I don't wear pants anymore.

If I hear a phone ring, it knocks me out for a few days.

Very stressful—I'm just not used to it anymore.

And most days, I do fake interviews where I answer questions as though someone is talking to me, even though I'm here all alone...

Like right now.