♫ We live in San Francisco

♫ And we're all family, yeah ♫

- I've never seen it.

I don't know what it is.

- The kid would be like, "You got it dude."

And that's why I didn't watch it.

- So this is the middle child, right?

Stephanie? (scoffs)

Classic middle child, trying to drive the car. Am I right?

- This will not end well.

- (laughs) What?

- Right into the kitchen.

- (laughs) Oh.

- What kind of a household is this that the youngest child is the first one to come in after a car has just come in through the kitchen?

- Uncle Jesse wants to get laid (laughs).

- You know what I love when a sexy girl comes into my room?

A laugh track.

(laughing)

- Do people get nightmares from watching this show?

'Cause I think I might tonight.

- You don't want your family showing up in your sex dream.

- Now, is that the dead mom who's back, or is that the prostitute?

- You need serious psychological evaluation.

- Oh, God.

No.

- John Stamos must have woken up every single day of his life and just kissed the mirror and been like, "Thank you."

- He's so attractive.

- I feel like he would have been my childhood crush if it wasn't Arnold from Hey, Arnold.

- The babies are naked. Oh, weird (laughs).

- So this isn't a parody of anything?

This is really in the show?

Great hairstyles.

I feel like we should bring some of that back.

- It feels like a parody of itself.

Maybe that's because it was really influential for the time and it was important?

I can respect that.

Or maybe it's just really, really bad.

We may never know.

- If I'd known that it was this crazy,

maybe I would have watched it.

♫ When you're with your friends

♫ And your family doing things

♫ Everywhere you look

♫ Everywhere you go ♫

- [Voiceover] That's all I-- I know these lyrics are completely wrong but--

♫ Saxophone ♫