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  • Everyone must write an essay

  • on what not to do at a stoplight.

  • [groaning]

  • Did you hear that?

  • What not to do at a stoplight!

  • In no less than 800 words.

  • [giggling]

  • Did you hear that?

  • Eight hundred words!

  • Yeah, I know!

  • Everyone will follow the rules of the class.

  • First rule: No talking.

  • Does that mean--

  • All they do is blow, blow, blow on their stupid whistles,

  • rub, rub, rub that white stuff on their noses,

  • and show off their gross misshapen bodies!

  • Dude, put that thing away.

  • There are, like, children here!

  • - Honey? - Huh?

  • You're not using that tan accelerator again, are you?

  • Oh, don't pretend you don't love it.

  • [sighs]

  • [clears throat]

  • Let me get my wallet.

  • [grunts]

  • Wait, let me check this pocket.

  • No...

  • Patrick, do you have any change?

  • How much do you need?

  • - How much is it? - Fifty cents.

  • - [grunts] - Fifty cents.

  • Let me check my other pocket.

  • Forget it!

  • - What did you say? - Just take your seat!

  • - Thanks, mister. - Yeah, whatev--

  • Well, don't want to keep 'em waiting any longer!

  • Welcome to art class!

  • Oh, isn't this cooking?

  • Sorry.

  • Howdy, Squidward!

  • It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of assembly.

  • I couldn't afford a present this year,

  • so I got you this box.

  • That's what I got you!

  • Weren't you that guy on the television last night?

  • [laughing]

  • Yes, that was me! I...

  • Oh! Please, excuse me, sir.

  • Oh, that's quite alright, uh... SpongeBob.

  • Wow! I'm getting recognized all over!

  • Next thing you know, people are gonna start doing stuff

  • like holding doors open for...

  • [gasps] Why, sir, I'm flattered.

  • Really? I don't smell anything.

  • [laughing]

  • You're on your way, kid.

  • Welcome to the Krusty Krab. How may I help you?

  • Yeah. Give me two large fries and a Jumbo Krabby Patty.

  • Hey, what's that?

  • Oh, I didn't see anything...

  • Hey, where'd that other guy go?

  • April Fools'!

  • I'm right here!

  • [laughing]

  • Hey, that was pretty good.

  • Order number 17!

  • Order number 17!

  • Order 17?

  • No. Mmh... No.

  • Hey, pal, you just blow in from Stupidtown?

  • Excuse me, I think your ice machine's broken.

  • Keep looking. You'll find someone who cares.

  • Excuse me.

  • The ice machine's broken.

  • [screaming] No!

  • Why?!

  • Hey, what are you doing with my change?

  • Your change?

  • Anything on the floor be fair game.

  • [sobbing]

  • [crying]

  • Hey!

  • - You. - Me?

  • You think this is funny?

  • In a cosmic sort of way, yes.

  • Well, Mr. Funny Man,

  • is this how you get your sick kicks?

  • What? It's just an ordinary Krabby...

  • Oh, my goodness!

  • Uh... Pardon me, sir.

  • Could I interest you in a copy of the Examiner this fine day?

  • [laughs] Nobody reads the Examiner, bud!

  • It's all full of boring charts and facts!

  • The Bottom Feeder's where it's at!

  • It's stuff like interesting stories and stuff.

  • "Fishboy strikes again"?

  • All right!

  • Put the money in the bag!

  • Put it in!

  • Um, you're facing the wrong way, sir.

  • [laughing]

  • All right! Give me the money!

  • Will that be from your savings or your checking account, sir?

  • Uh, savings.

  • May I please see some identification?

  • - Sure, here you go. - Thank you.

  • Sir, we're showing a balance of zero dollars and zero cents

  • for both of your accounts.

  • Oh.

  • Next!

  • Let's get him!

  • [panting]

  • Huh?

  • [screaming]

  • Good riddance! Dreamer!

  • Come on, more!

  • [playing the trumpet]

  • Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen,

  • and welcome to our live coverage

  • of this year's annual spring classic,

  • the 102nd Running of the Snail.

  • And what a beautiful day for the sport of kings,

  • of which I am a huge fan.

  • Seriously, I'm just a fan.

  • I was on my way to my seat. The door was open.

  • Hey, what are you doing?

  • [chuckles] Sorry about that, folks.

  • - So then... - Huh?

  • Nice do, SpongeBob.

  • [stifled laughter]

  • Yeah, where can I get one?

  • [laughing]

  • Well, good night, folks! Come again!

  • Thought those deadbeats would never leave.

  • Excuse me, sir, but do you have the time?

  • Sure. It's 10 to 3:00.

  • - Thank you. - Don't mention.

  • Don't mention what?

  • Uh, who said that?

  • - Me? - [screams]

  • Ghosts!

Everyone must write an essay

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