what is Xi Jinping thinking?!

We're back.

And it's time.

They've spread the rumors.

They've tabulated the scores.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

the results of the Chinese Communist Party's

19th Party Congress!

Let's look at our seven finalists,

the men who have made it to the top of the Party:

the Politburo Standing Committee.

And here they come!

Don't they look great in their black suits and red ties!

Wait, am I seeing...

blue ties?

And gray hair?

It truly is a new era.

And who has been crowned the ultimate title...

Mr. CCP?

“I see this as not just an approval of my work,

but also as, like,

an encouragement that will make me want to,

like, do even better, you know?”

Of course, the 6-day event leading up to this point

was incredibly boring.

Basically, an official gives a long speech.

Another official gives a long speech.

And then they break up into small groups

to do more long speeches.

Kind of like the world's worst company retreat.

“And for our next icebreaker,

turn to the official next to you

and say your name,

plus a quote from Karl Marx

that begins with the same letter.”

Sitting through that event

was the hardest test of endurance

I've ever gone through.

And I say that as someone who, in college,

had a professor lecture for three hours

about how Buffy the Vampire Slayer

was an image of Christ.

It was a strange school.

And yet, that has nothing

on the three and a half hour lecture

Xi Jinping gave to kick off the Congress.

Seriously, though,

this meeting was really, really important

for the future of China.

It was just also really, really boring.

Former leader Jiang Zemin was caught yawning.

Oh, no wait, he was just catching a fly.

When Xi Jinping wrapped up his long speech,

even the other, less important former leader

Hu Jintao was like,

a little longer and we'd all be dead!

But look how happy it made Xi Jinping.

Not Jiang though.

You might be wondering,

what was Xi Jinping thinking?

Oh, my friends,

he was thinking Xi Jinping Thought.

Xi Jinping has written himself

into the Communist Party's Constitution.

It's this bit,

the “Xi Jinping Thought on Socialism

with Chinese Characteristics for a New Era.”

So what does that stupidly long phrase mean?

It means Xi Jinping is only the second Chinese leader—

after Mao Zedong—

to have his name put in the Party Constitution

while he's still in power.

It's a big deal.

According to Bill Bishop,

publisher of Sinocism,

“It means Xi is effectively unassailable …

If you challenge Xi,

you are challenging the party—

and you never want to be against the party.”

Yes, welcome to China's Xi Jinping Era.

Xi Jinping is dominating

former amphibian overlord Jiang Zemin.

To be fair,

Jiang Zemin is kind of guilty of genocide—

including the whole,

let's kill Falun Gong practitioners

and sell their organs for profit campaign—

so I don't really feel that bad for Jiang.

But for years on this show,

I've been talking about how Xi Jinping

and Jiang Zemin have been locked in

a life-or-death political struggle.

And after this 19th Party Congress,

it looks like Xi is closer than ever to winning.

State-run media has been singing

Xi Jinping's praises.

“Enshrining Xi's thought into the Party Constitution

has proved the main highlight of the congress.”

And this is how the major Chinese newspapers

covered the end of the Party Congress:

Some of their Instagram filters need a little work.

And Xi wasn't above lording his big win

over Jiang Zemin.

Check out CCTV's footage from Xi's speech.

When they all walk out, J

iang is repeatedly obscured by Xi.

But you can see former leader Hu Jintao.

I don't need a class in Buffy as an image of Christ

to know that's symbolism.

And check out at the end

when Xi shakes hands with Hu,

and then...oops!

Jiang wasn't in the shot.

In fact,

in the live broadcast that was later altered

for the online version,

“When Xi gets to a section of his speech

about fighting corruption,

emphasizing a 'zero tolerance' approach

toward those in the party

who engage in bribery,

the camera cut to Jiang.

Later, when Xi starts a sentence with

'what the people and the masses oppose,

what they abhor,'

the camera once again goes to a close-up of Jiang.”

And if you remember from the headlines

earlier in today's broadcast,

Xi had his boy Liu Shiyu say Xi Jinping

“saved the party,

saved the military,

and saved the country,”

by foiling attempts by Jiang Zemin's guys

to take over the Party.

And let's look at the new guys

on the Politburo Standing Committee.

Of the six other members,

only one has been considered

a member of Jiang's faction.

But there are also reports

that he's already defected from Jiang.

If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

And having all or nearly all Standing Committee members

either neutral or on his side is a big win—

even though Xi had to let his favorite Anti-Corruption Czar retire.

So is this it then?

Is Xi Jinping now the ultimate power?

Has he unquestionably won?

Not so fast.

For one,

the anti-corruption campaign isn't over,

which means the factional infighting isn't over.

There are still members of Jiang's faction

who haven't been fully dealt with,

including the final bad guy,

Jiang Zemin himself.

And just because they're on their way down,

doesn't mean that they couldn't still

cause a lot of trouble.

And with Xi Jinping Thought in the Party Constitution,

Xi is now the guy responsible

for the current direction of the Communist Party.

He's facing major disasters on all sides:

An economy that's imbalanced in crazy ways,

a finance system plagued by bad debt,

a disastrously polluted environment,

and an increasing wealth gap

that underlies widespread public unhappiness.

I mean, who wouldn't want to be in charge of all that?

Seriously.

Hu wouldn't want to.

It's up to Xi Jinping now.

Thanks for watching this episode of China Uncensored.

I'm Chris Chappell.

See you next time.

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